Do you want kids?

By that wording, everyone should be polyamorous.

After all, four paychecks are better than two, a rotating shift of parents guarantees constant attention and need fulfilment while preserving the energies and attention of the parents.

It takes a village to raise a child.

Can't say I'd disagree, but I'm not everyone.

Weren't you the one pushing for the restructuring of society on polyamorous lines? Because I can swear some troper was.

Wasn't me. I don't think everyone is capable of it & think any plan that is:

1. Change human nature
2. ???
3. Profit!

is fucking nuts.

Well you could argue that monogamy is the artificial standard placed on human nature and moving towards a polyandrous society is just returning to how intended.

That sounds a little too neat for me but it certainly sounds reasonable

Eh in my personal experience one parent is always better than a broken marriage or putting up with a shitty parent. Even if the other is nice it sort of spoils it for everyone.

We're probably going off topic...

Back on topic then: The answer is still yes.

Now? Hell no

Someday? Hell yeah.

So, I'm pretty new here (on the forums, not the Tropes, which I've spent free time browsing through for years...), but I feel the need to say that, no offense to anyone, but if you ask a forum if they want to have kids, the overwhelming answer will be "no". Frankly, a sizable part of any internet community will be made up of impenatrable introverts (meaning in real life, people feel they can be open on the internet), dis-romantics, those who feel awkward in relationships and human interaction, whether deep or casual, those (a trend of some forumites in general) who just don't like (or even dislike, or even hate) kids and babies for... different reasons (?), of course, all of things often being self-acknowleged.

Anyway, as for me, the answer is yes. A lot of it has to do with the examples of my parents, and their parents, and their parents. They did and do amazing things and had amazing lives, and managed to touch the lives of so many others for good, and left the world a better place then it was, partly through the children that they raised well against all odds and without any real training (because, according to any parents, there isn't any), and handed the torch down to the next generation to do the same. I guess I just want to take the torch. It's my choice, and it'll be my action.

Hehe, maybe that was a little to sentimental for a newbie to just plop down like that, but there it is.

Probably, but it'd be quite a ways off in the future, after I've got a stable income and grow as a person. I'd give it another decade at least (and I'm 21 now, in case you're wondering.)

I'm leaning toward no, but it's not set in stone. My brother has three kids, so there's no pressure on me to continue the family line, and I'm not sure I'd make a very good parent, either genetically, or personality-wise.

I happen to have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm not sure if autism spectrum disorders are hereditary or not, but it is something that concerns me. And even if it isn't, I'm someone who likes things peaceful and orderly, which children (especially toddlers) are often the total opposite of. If there's one thing toddlers can teach, it's how much adults take the unwritten rules of life as a responsible adult for granted.

I want kids, but I'm worried I'll pass on my crappy genes, like short tendons, and impossible hair, and bipolar disorder.

So just marry someone that is fantastically fit with great hair and emotional stability and your kids are bound to get decent chances.

That makes sense right?

I dunno, let's ask Morbo.

Morbo: GENETICS DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

Thank you, Morbo.

I would like kids, but having lost one already I'm more than a little scared to try again.

edited 31st Mar '14 6:07:57 AM by Frishman

Wow Frishman, that has to suck and I am sincerely sorry to hear that.

Thank you. I'm sorry for dragging the topic down. I kinda get like this during certain parts of the year.

You're fine dear! Thank you for sharing! And you have a very vaild and healthy concern which I personally appreciate you taking the time and heart of weighing.

I work in a mental health institute. I work with the boys 18 and under. Too many of my kids were born in their condition due to actions of their parents, some whose parents were told not to have children specifically because the chance of certain disorders was too high. (3 in my ward, others throughout campus)

These 3 sets of parents said fuck it, and wanted "one of their own" anyway. Now we are raising their children because they just can't deal with their needs.

I wasn't even considering that. My daughter was perfectly fine and healthy; she just had the misfortune of being born one day before she qualified for NICU.

That is bullshit.

I lived it. I assure you it is not bullshit.

...As in "just short of 24 weeks"? That's terrible, Frish - it's touch-and-go at that stage. I'm sorry.

Yeah: losing a little lambkin like that is... not fun. You do get over it in time, though. But, it never stops hurting at some level, even if the dealing with it gets better as you go along. <hugs>

edited 31st Mar '14 12:12:51 PM by Euodiachloris

-hugs- I know. And once again, sorry for bringing the topic down. I'll drop it now.

edited 31st Mar '14 12:13:19 PM by Frishman

I meant that it was bullshit they did that to you.

Frishman: No one should go through that. My deepest sympathies.