Pokemon (Camper Barry Story)

I guess this is the right board for this...

We should come up with a proper title.

I suggest "I Hate My Job: A Gym Trainer's Odyssey".

I hath finished the Brock chapter. Tell me what you think:

I set foot into the Pewter Gym. Today was the day I’d try out for a position as junior trainer, and I was extremely nervous. As I stepped in, I took a look around the gym; there was another kid over on one side. On both sides of the gym were huge piles of boulders serving as walls, in a way. All the way at the end, I saw Brock himself. Immediately feeling nervous, I made my way toward him, trying to avoid his gaze by pretending to admire the boulders.

I eventually stepped up to the top, the junior trainer having let me pass when I explained my intentions. Brock was staring right at me. Or, at least I think he was; his eyes are difficult to see. He was standing completely still, his gaze never faltering. I sheepishly moved to the side a little, and was surprised when Brock remained stock still. His head didn’t even turn to follow me. At that point I realized he hadn’t moved a muscle since I had seen him upon entry, and seemed to be staring off into space. I waved my hand in front of his eyes, and no reaction occurred. I then noticed a small amount of drool in the corner of his mouth, and tried to look away. He finally let loose a low, quiet guffaw.

"…Ah ha ha ha…"

"Uh, hello? Brock?"

"It itches."

"Excuse me?"

"It itches! It itches!"

He began scratching all over himself, guffawing the whole time. I looked away in disgust, but then realized that would make a bad impression and turned to face him. He finally stopped.

"It itches!"

"…What itches?"

He then grabbed my arm and led me down to one of the massive boulder piles. I didn’t resist, but looked on with apprehension.

"Look…"

He was gazing at one of the boulders. He then ran his hand across it, then again, and then began rubbing his hand all over it. He then held his hand up to show that it was now covered in some sort of dust or grain from the boulder.

"It itches!"

He rubbed the dust all over himself, and then went into another scratching-and-guffawing fit. I tried to back away, now thoroughly disturbed. At that point, he scooped up a large volume of dust from the boulder’s base, and tossed it over my head.

"Ah ha ha ha ha! It itches! It itches!"

Like he said, it itched. It itched like nothing else in the world. I ran from the gym, yelling and scratching myself all over, all while hearing a low guffaw in the back…

"Barry! What are you doing!?"

"Aah! Nothing, Miss Janine!"

"You better not be slacking off back there… or else!"

Barry didn’t need to be reminded. He closed his journal and hid it in his (Janine’s actually, but he had to wear it lest he incur her wrath.) shirt.

edited 10th May '11 4:01:34 PM by Anomalocaris20

For the record, this spun off from a derail in the Pokemon thread.

Hmm, sounds good. :3

I'll let the others vote before I change it.

Erm...how DO I change it? ._.

umm...What's the point of putting that out?

Why not?

I like it a lot, Anom! But, I like the idea of it happening in real time rather than a flashback.

Hmmm...

Would you be opposed to the Gym Leader meetings happening in journal format while his journeying happened in real time?

Your version of Janine doesn't seem very affectionate of Barry, rather, oppressive.

It's alright, but it shouldn't be the first chapter. Some context needs to be established.

Marioguy put that out as a piece of background info on how this started.

Add an emoticon.

You better not be slacking off back there… or else! =P

edited 10th May '11 4:05:24 PM by Loid

I was thinking it could go like this:

Chapter 1. Introduction + Barry quits.

Chapter 2. Kanto Region.

Mini Chapter: Janine's Ninja Record

Chapter 3. Johto Region. (Janine is stalking him at this point and tries to do something to him for going to Falkner)

Mini Chapter: Janine's Ninja Record

Chapter 4: Sinnoh Region. (Janine uses her ninja skillz to continue stalking him by hiding in his luggage).

Mini Chapter: Janine's Ninja Record

Chapter 5: Hoenn Region.

Mini Chapter: Janine's Ninja Record

Chapter 6: Unova Region

Chapter 7: Barry and Janine finally talk. Janine eventually tells him that she was just playing with him because she thinks he has the most potential to be her successor. Barry eventually decides to go back.

Epilogue: Barry, wearing his Janine outfit, is waiting for challengers to come. Koga happens to come in and mistakes him for Janine. Janine laughs off to the side and Barry dies a little inside.

If you don't like the idea of mini-chapters, I was thinking that each chapter could have an after-story section from Janine's POV. At first she'd just be trying to get him back because she's an awesome ninja, but slowly she'd start to miss him a little. Of course, she'd never tell him that. o3o

"You better not be slacking off back there… or else! >:3"

or

"You better not be slacking off back there… or else! <3"

Janine is apparently fluent in emoticons.

edited 10th May '11 4:11:30 PM by Hobgoblin

Her Yandere-ishness is supposed to be more of a sadism rather than torture-with-love-on-the-side. I'll be sure to mention that she has a sadistic grin most of the time, though. And emoticons shouldn't be used in text.

Oh, and they don't talk after the last gym, she sneaks up on him, knocks him out, shoves him in a burlap sack, and hauls him back to Fuschia. He's in the gym against his will.

edited 10th May '11 4:30:06 PM by Anomalocaris20

Hehe. :3

If they don't talk, then there's no point of Janine following him. He could just quit being a Gym Trainer.

He can't. He thinks at least one gym will be good, and when he becomes a trainer for Janine she prevents him from leaving anyway.

edited 10th May '11 6:40:51 PM by Anomalocaris20

Still 2 problems.

a)Then there doesn't seem to be motivation in him being a trainer.

b)How'd he leave in the first place?

a) Well, if he doesn't... Janine does horrible things to him.

b) I dunno. She didn't have as strong an obsession at that time? That one is a slight problem, but it shouldn't be too hard to explain away.

He escaped.

But then that implies he can escape now. His final scenario is basically supposed to be "doomed to eternity as a crossdressing gym trainer".

Given her insanity, she might not realize that he'd want to escape the first time. She wouldn't let it happen again.

If she's that insane, I'd take death over being a Gym Trainer.

But she won't let him die.