For our first humor story, Thanos defeats Galactus... by turning him into Elvis Presley. He ends up taking Elvis's musical career, and declines to return to his old life of eating planets. Next up, Dr. Doom is a terrible pediatrician (he's Not That Kind of Doctor), Wolverine can't help the X-Men defeat the sentinels because he hibernates in winter (Wolverines don't actually hibernate, but who cares, it's funny), the Reader would do a poor job as Spider-Man or the Red Skull, the Punisher is the world's scariest hallway monitor (and Hulk is the principal), Galactus squishes Ant-Man without even noticing, and Spider-Man and the Trapster trap each other.
Spider-Man then tries to take care of his six-armed mutant son, while also dealing with his superhero life. It's a chore, to say the least. Spider-Man then scares Miss Muffet away from her tuffet ("what the heck is a tuffet, anyway?"), Laundromat owner Tony Stark gets his teammates' costumes washed, we see Howard the Chicken, Pigeon, Vulture, Canary, and Goose, Ant-Man's ant friends ruin his picnic, the Leader has trouble hat-shopping, Storm's powers cause trouble for her job as an air traffic controller, the stern-but-fatherly type Punisher disciplines several villains like misbehaving kids, the Ghost Rider accidentally burns down a city, and finally, the Punisher's wife, son, and daughter become the Punisher Family when he dies instead of them.
What If No One was Watching the Tropers?
- Becoming the Mask: Galactus as Elvis likes music more than planet eating.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Galactus squishes Ant-Man under his foot without even realizing poor Hank was there.
- Enfante Terrible: If Frank Castle had died instead of his family, his daughter and son would have become Punisher Family members as children.
- Lighter and Softer: The Punisher as the Stern, but Fatherly Type. He punishes villains by grounding them or making them write lines.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: The Reader would be dead or thoroughly defeated as a superhero/villain, because they're presumably a normal civilian reading comic books while Spider-Man and the Red Skull have superpowers.
