Months ago, an aged Steve "Captain America" Rogers told Wade "Deadpool" Wilson that he was shorthanded and would appreciate if Wilson did him some favors. Wilson agreed, even after Rogers warned him some of his requests would be unpleasant. Subsequently, Rogers was de-aged and asked Wilson to join the Avengers' Unity Squad, to take down Johann "Red Skull" Shmidt while staying away from Anna "Rogue" Marie, and to assassinate Phil Coulson. Wilson faithfully carried out all his assignments, including shooting Coulson.
In the present, the principal at Baron Zemo's School for Superior Students is having a parent-teacher conference with Wilson and his daughter Eleanor "Ellie" Camacho. Wilson asks why the principal is mad at them instead of the kids who jumped Ellie, but Ellie reveals that she attacked first and in fact videotaped the fight. Wilson asks how many hits she got and Ellie isn't sure whether he means hits on the students or hits on the video. The principal says Ellie is expelled, at which point Wilson decks him and knocks him out. Wilson goes for the window but then stops to tell Ellie not to steal the principal's wallet while he's out. When she goes to put it back, though, Wilson corrects her and says that she should first tell him how much is in it so they know whether it's worth robbing him. He takes her home on his motorcycle, and she says she wants her mom, to which Wilson says Ellie's mom had to go underground. Ellie asks if he's lying and he doesn't answer, and she screams that she wants to know where her mother is.
During the takeover, Ellie's mother Emily Preston saw the Darkforce Dome going down over New York City and tried to contact SHIELD but found that comms were down. A car with four SHIELD agents pulled up to escort her to the dome in the hopes that she, a Life Model Decoy, might be able to break through it. One of the agents sends a message that they have Preston, and Preston realizes that comms aren't down; she's just being jammed and the only reason for that would be if the other agents were subverted. The other agents panic and she attacks them, defeating all four. Wilson rides up on his motorcycle at that moment and says he came to check on them once he saw the Darkforce Dome go up. He asks what the plan is, and she says that it looks like much of SHIELD is compromised, so they need to go to Coulson's hideout and see if he knows what's going on.
Wilson tries to get Preston to turn around on the drive to Coulson's hideout but she refuses. She asks why Wilson had needed to find Coulson a few days ago and Wilson lies that Rogers was worried about Coulson going dark. He also lies that he never found Coulson. They reach the hideout, now burned to the ground, and Preston sends Wilson to sweep the inside. While he's gone, Preston goes to a nearby utility pole and plays back tape of a secret security camera. It shows Coulson fleeing into the building followed by Wilson, and then a gun flash indicating Wilson shot Coulson. She downloads the footage and turns away crying as the camera gets to the part with Rogers and Wilson burning the building down, then disables her body's emotional responses.
Wilson comes back and says there's no sign of Coulson. Preston plays along for a few moments but then punches him, revealing she knows the truth and that Ellie called Coulson "Uncle Phil."
In the present, Wilson tells Ellie she will have to navigate some tough problems. Ellie says she just wants to go home to the Prestons but Wilson tells her that she can't ever go home because the world has changed and she will change too. She asks what this means and he says that she is a mutant, and since HYDRA is moving against mutants, they both need to work together to keep her safe. He insists that she needs to behave in her new school, then leaves, telling her not to let anyone inside until he gets back.
At a HYDRA base, Wilson tells his handler that he hasn't caught Maria Hill or Clint "Hawkeye" Barton yet, but he did pick up someone even better: Delroy Garrett Jr., also known as "Triathlon" or "3-D Man." The handler asks how Garrett could possibly be better than Barton, and Wilson whines that Garrett has super-strength and several other athletic-related powers, but if they don't care he'll happily let Garrett go. The handler relents and has Garrett taken into custody, then says that Rogers expects him to bring in Barton soon. Wilson says he'll get it done and leaves, mocking the HYDRA chant as he does so.
Wilson goes to a jet and calls Peter "Trapster" Petruski, formerly known as Paste-Pot Pete. He says he needs a favor and promises Petruski a free trip to jail in compensation.
Tropes:
- Armor-Piercing Question: Ellie screaming "Where's my Mom?!"
- Blatant Lies: by Wade, big-time. He lies to Preston five times over the course of four pages when he plays dumb and acts like he doesn't know what happened to Coulson.
- Dropping the Bombshell: Preston revealing to Wade that she knows he killed Coulson. She tells him he needs to know something about Ellie. When Wade asks what, Preston responds "Your daughter called the good man you killed Uncle Phil!"
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Preston says she knows something must be wrong because Deadpool hasn't said a word in the last 50 miles. She says it's more disturbing when he's quiet.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: One of the agents sent to deal with Preston calls her 'it' since she has a robotic body.
