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Season 1
Strong Suit
Phone Girl: No way, she said that? Shut Up! SHUT UP!!
Piper: Here's an idea, Why don't you follow your own advice and SHUT UP!!?
Phone Girl: [To Piper] Do you mind? I'm on the phone, (to friend on Phone) Sorry, some people can be so rude, "gasp" SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!
Piper: "Some people" also know how to override the digital projection system. [hacks into the theatre screen with her phone and videocams herself saying with a demon voice] GET...OFF...THE...PHONE!!!!!!!!! [picks up the phone left behind by the phone girl] She'll call you back, or she won't. I don't really care!
Piper: [To Jarvis] I love you......(eu)clidean Geometry!
Jarvis: [Names each friend] Piper Gray...Gamer Dude, Aster Vanderberg...King of Swag, Knox...Human Crash Test Dummy, Geneva Hayes, Because I can, Bowie Sherman, also works here.
Piper: Everything here is incredible. I mean if you care about...stuff.
Aster: Hey, that's not fair! Why do you need to be this tall to ride the coaster!??
Knox: Who cares! This place is sick!
Geneva: Aw! This place isn't feeling well. We should make it soup.
Bowie: [Excitingly] I work here!
Jarvis: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the future.
Knox: We're in the future? [Holds up a library book called "Anytime Jokes for Kids"] Oh no! I'm gonna have crazy late fees on this library book.
Aster: We're not in the future! If anything judging from your outfits and hair styles we're about 3 years in the past!
Geneva: We're in the past? I should warn Knox not to take out that library book. I'm too late!
Bowie: [Excitingly] I WORK HERE!
Piper: [To Jarvis] You told me you're hiring the best and the brightest. When are they getting here?
Philharmonica
Mr. Melody: Excuse me.
Geneva: It's okay, I didn't even hear you belch.
Mr. Melody: I have an appointment.
Geneva: With a doctor? About your gas problem?
Knox: Four snappy meals, please. And whatever these guys are having.
Jarvis: It's not the bag, it's what's in the bag!
Dance Crew Evolution
Jarvis: Friends! We are gathered here today, to celebrate the life of P. Everett Knickknack. A man, words can not describe.
Geneva: [Sobbing] He was so old and weird, with a silly balding hair style.
Jarvis: Or maybe they can! P. Everett was a good man, a kind man, a man whose death, I played no part in. [Points at Piper three times] Is anyone here who like to say a few words about the dearly departed?}}
Mmmboing: [Bounces into the funeral bouncing]
Jarvis: Mmmboing! Beautiful! I couldn't of said it better myself.
Bowie: This is so sad!
Aster: I know! A whole rainbow of colors, yet everyone wore black.
Jarvis: Let us now take a moment for silent reflection.
Geneva: Ooh! I love reflection! [Opens and looks at her tiny makeup mirror]
Piper: [Playing sad music on the keyboard]
Jarvis: [Dancing uncontrollably to the music in the shoes that Bowie created]
Piper: Jarvis! I thought you wanted a somber memorial.
Jarvis: I do! Just keep going!
Piper: [Playing the music again]
Jarvis: [Uncontrollably dancing again]
Piper: What are you doing?
Jarvis: Looks like Jazz hands with the shim-sham boogie. [Stops dancing when the music stops playing] Why is this happening?
Aster: I have no idea!
Bowie: Me neither!
Knox: Piper! Can you play music and talk at the same time? Because we want to dance.
Geneva: Yeah! What better tribute to a man whose all about fun, or was the silly old kook? Great idea Jarvis!
[Everybody in the Funeral Services agrees]
Jarvis: Uh, Thanks! [Runs over to the keyboard and plays jazz music]
[Everybody except Piper dances to the music]
Lobster Trap
Jarvis: [as the Lobster] It's time to lay down the claw!
Knox: [as the mermaid] HELP! HELP!
Piper: [as Chef Pasquale] Mamma Mia!
Flyrates
Jarvis: Piper! When are going to finish up setting up your Flyrates booth?
Piper: What do you mean? I'm done!
Bowie: Done?! Where are your cool posters, your flashy light displays, your free Flyrates scene luggage tags?
Piper: I don't need gimmicks to draw crowds. My game is so good it speaks for itself. You'll see! People will be lining up in front of my booth.
[A few minutes later, they see people in line]
Piper: See?
Jarvis: They're lined up for Ghost Goggles.
[The people in line are buying the ghost goggles rather than the Flyrates game]
Piper: They're still lined up in front of my booth.
Jarvis: That's amazing!
Bowie: That I got so many phone numbers?
Jarvis: That people still use phone books.
Piper: Anyway! These outfits should give people a sample of the games eye popping visuals.
Bowie: Pop off people's eyes, got it! [Attempts to pull out his sword]
Piper: Blinding people isn't good for business.
Bowie: Right! That would just be good for your love life. [Pulls out his Aster insult quote cards and throws one away]
Fat Cat
Jarvis: We have to figure out who took that money and get it back.
Bowie: Way ahead of you! I set up my webcam to live stream the tournament online. It's been recording everything in the lobby for the last 24 hours.
Piper: Great! Let's see if this caught the thief in action. [Hits the Play button on the T.V. Screen]
Jarvis: Okay! Fast-forward and let's see what went on.
[They fast-forward the video until they see Geneva talking on her phone on the screen]
Geneva: [On T.V. Screen] I don't care if the shipment is delayed. The warehouse needs those supplies. If planes are grounded get them on a train [Hangs up]
Jarvis: Geneva! Were you doing work?
Geneva: I'm not the one on trial here!
Season 2
Just Like a Baby
Meeskatanian Lullaby Song
Shiv miska peepa, guro stika kroo
Bata prok gom mutt dee bleeckodroo.
Sin mit bleeckodroo fonk hadder
bata prok gom mutt dee
GOAT BLADDER!
Brrzooka
Piper: Wait! You can't do this!
Jarvis: Why not?
Piper: Uuuhhhh.....You just can't!
Jarvis: I see what's going on here. When I find you doing delighted laugh in my office, you were happy to Mrs. Bubkes. But you're jealous of her promotion.
Piper: Well yeah, I actually didn't think I was hiding it all that well.
Jarvis: And now you're trying to stop Mrs. Bubkes' presentation. Well, I'm sorry Piper! This is her moment to shine.
Piper: [Quickly takes the Brrrzooka gun away from Mrs. Bubkes] I can't let that happen.
Jarvis: Knox!
Knox: [Stands up and gets on the platform]
Jarvis: I think you know what to do.
Knox: [Looking Confused]
[A few minutes later, Jarvis shows Knox a cartoon picture of him carrying Piper out of the building]
Jarvis: Now do you know what to do?
Knox: Yep! Got it! [Picks up Piper and carries her over his shoulder and walks out]
[Then he walks back in carrying Piper and then he walks back out, into the building until they reach the main entrance door and Knox puts Piper back down on the ground]
Knox: Get out!
Bowie: [From inside the Car Desk] I've been trying for 2 days!
Cardboard Box
Soul Crushing Sadness
Piper: [singing] The skies bring nothing but rain, My heart's a bloody stain, Anger pulsates in my brain, My soul is full of pain....
Chorus: ''LIFE IS BADNESS, CONSUMED BY MADNESS!! CAN'T YOU JUST FEEL, THE SOUL CRUSHING SADNESS!!?, Everybody now! [repeat Chorus] [speaking]
Geneva's Gladness song
The skies bring nothing but sunnyness, Clowns are good at funnyness, I like my eggs with runniness, Rabbits are full of bunniness! Life is radness. Love my mom and dad-ness. Can't you feel? There's a whole-lotta gladness.
Jarvis: [singing] Ooh..ooh. girl!!
Littlefoot
Aster: There you are, Jarvis! Did you know every door to the building is locked? I've been out here for hours.
Jarvis: Oh, wow! You must be hungry.
Aster: I am!
Jarvis: Well, good news! I just happen to have this spare whole roasted chicken. [Opens roasted chicken container] Oh, no! I forgot to get a fork and a knife.
Aster: Who cares! I'm starving! [Takes the chicken and is chomping it forcefully]
Bowie: [Recording Aster chomping the chicken on video]
Kooky Dough
Jarvis: Piper! I can't understand this email you sent me. [Talks in a gibberish language]
Piper: You can't understand that? It says, I can't type wearing all of this protective gear. [She shows Jarvis the gloves she is wearing and types on her laptop with the gloves]
Jarvis: I know it's a pain but until we pass that safety inspection we need to be extra, ultra, super safe.
Aster: You should be thankful for that protective gear. The more of that outfit you cover up, the better.
Piper: [Stands up, forces her protective gloves off her hands, and shows her fists at Aster]
Aster: [Screaming like a girl]
Jarvis: What is that?
Piper: Um, well! Remember that toy we invented? Turns out it's less toy and more uncontrollable, ever expanding, man eating, blood thirsty blob.
Jarvis: Ever expanding! It grows?
Geneva: He's kind of an emotional eater.
K-Kube
Piper: [Singing to Bowie] Bowie, My heart's all doughy, I'm feeling Lowie, Without You! Bowie' Alaska's Snowy, A Baby Kangaroo is Called A Joey, I love You, Yes, I Do, It's Really True, Bowie, I love You!
Bowie: [Singing to Mrs. Bubkes] Bubkes, Thanks for Cleaning Up-kes, Piper's Filthy Office, She's A SLOB!!!!!!
Season 3
Dig it Dragon
Dig it Dragon: We're all out of ice cream.
Aster: Have you got me and Piper together?
Wreck & Roll
Charles Nelson Vomit (and fans): "BITE YOUR TONGUE!!"
Microphony
Piper: Hi Jarvis!
Jarvis: [Screaming] HIIIII!
Piper: [Looking shocked at Jarvis’s scream]
Jarvis: There! I said hi in person. I hope you’re happy. [Leaves in elevator]
Piper: Wow! What’s his problem?
Bowie: Who knows? Men can be so irrational. Sometimes they get angry and you have no idea why. The best thing to do is just apologize.
Piper: But I didn’t do anything wrong.
Bowie: I know that you know that, but men, am I right?
