"As Vice President, Tyler drowned President Harrison in an Executives Only bathing pond. Everyone suspected a Savage assassin, and Tyler assumed the throne of America, along with the empty husband/father position in Harrison's grieving family. Tyler's achievements were overshadowed by his apparent disbelief in witches, which lead to his transformation into one of the rare breeds of horse that Congress then had deemed fuckable by law. Strange time, huh?"
— The Professor Brothers' liberal interpretation of Tyler's term as President
