Funny / Tomorrow Stories

• The First American's marriage to Blonde Woman ends as well as you'd expect.
  First American: You lousy bitch, Blonde Woman! You ruined my life! How am I supposed to think with these kids screaming all the time! And where's my dinner?
  Blonde Woman: I'm leaving you for my aromatherapist.
  • And then when F.A. marries Gerta:
  Gerta: You lousy bitch, First American! You ruined my life! How am I supposed to think with these kids screaming all the time! And where's my dinner?
  First American: I'm leaving you for my aromatherapist.
  • The kicker? It was the same aromatherapist Blonde Woman left him for.
• Jack's ignorance of how suicidal his parents have become because of his frequent perversions of life and nature. In one story, the two are preparing to hang themselves in the barn, which Jack fails to notice. In the following segment (after Jack spent a good chunk of time stuck in a void outside of reality), his parents have "suddenly" realized life is precious... and within thirty seconds of being back Jack manages to drive his mother to tears.

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