- A metafictional moment, when Ros yells "FIRE" and wonders why no one's leaving their seats.
- Guildenstern waxing philosophical, only for Rosencrantz to take his musings completely literally:Guil: I'm him, you see.
Ros: Who am I then?
Guil: You're yourself.
- Multiple characters looking around after hearing Guildenstern's outburst:Guildenstern: You know what to do.
Guildenstern: Are you stupid?
Guildenstern: Are you deaf?
Rosencrantz: Did you speak?
Guildenstern: (realizing what he's doing) Not now.
Guildenstern: NOT NOW! (It echos and he and Rosencrantz both look around, as do all the players.)
- A brilliant little moment poking fun at the increasingly philosophical story:Guildenstern: Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat.
Rosencrantz: I've frequently not been on boats.
Guildenstern: No, no, no...what you've been is not on boats.
- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern introduce themselves to the Players...or, try to, anyway.Rosencrantz: My name is Guildenstern, and this is Rosencrantz. (Guildenstern whispers in his ear) I'm sorry — his name's Guildenstern, and I'm Rosencrantz.
- Guildenstern's long pause before telling Rosencrantz, "...I think I'm going to kill you."
- Rosencrantz dropping a leather ball and a feather.Rosencrantz: You would think this would fall faster than this, wouldn't you? (drops them) ...And you'd be absolutely right.
- Rosencrantz finds a set of pots arranged like a Newton's Cradle. When he swings a pot back to demonstrate the effect to Guildenstern, they hit and shatter.
- Rosencrantz, wearing his sleep mask, moves to blow out the bedside candle and misses completely.
- Rosencrantz wakes up with the prow of a pirate's ship crashed through the wall. He's still groggy and mistakes the figurehead on it for a real woman. Just he tries to kiss it, the boat pulls back and carries her/it away.
- Rosencrantz builds a paper airplane and it flies around the castle before returning to him. When he next shows it to Guildenstern, it's an origami biplane. Guildenstern crumples it.
- Rosencrantz and his giant sandwich.
- Rosencrantz's outrage coming out of the "hawk from a handsaw" scene.
- Rosencrantz repeating Guildenstern as Guildenstern shouts at The Player that nobody can act death.Guildenstern: Actors! What do you know about death? Mechanics of cheap melodrama!
Rosencrantz: Cheap melodrama!
Guildenstern: Doesn't bring death home to anyone.
Rosencrantz: Not a home to anyone!
Guildenstern: [to Ros] Shut up.
Rosencrantz: Shut up!
- Rosencrantz mimicking animal noises.
- Guildenstern's diapproving head shakes.
- Rosencrantz trying to introduce themselves to the English King:English King: Who are you?
Rosencrantz: We are Guildenstern and Rosencrantz.
English King: Which is which?
Rosencrantz: Well, I'm Guildenstern and—
Guildenstern: He's Rosencrantz.
- This exchange, after the Player has none too subtly hinted that the traveling company of actors supplement their income with prostitution:Rosencrantz: You're not exclusively players?
The Player: We are inclusively players.
Funny / Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead