Funny / Goon (2011)

• Doug's first practice with the Assassins. Doug awkwardly hobbles onto the ice (he hasn't learned to skate yet), only to have one of his new teammates get in his face and suggest that he's retarded. After nervously trying and failing miserably to formulate a witty reply, Doug announces, "Fuck it!" and knocks the guy out. Then he proceeds to absolutely destroy the rest of the team when they all attack him at once.
  • Followed by the coach's response:
  "Hey, kid! Those are your own teammates you just fucked up out there! (Beat) Of course, on the bright side, those are your own teammates you just fucked up out there."
• After a truly execrable rendition of "O Canada", the announcer's first comment is "Well, that was borderline treasonous and a disgrace to our nation and its proud and storied history. My father didn't kick the Nazis'—and the puck drops!"
• The Russian brothers and Belchior are funny incarnate. Especially when they spar against each other.
• "My stomach light.....needs your stomach light. We can all phone home together."
• "No glory holes here tonight boys!"
• After an amazing fight, a victory montage as Laflamme leads the Highlanders to victory, invigorated by Doug's thrashing of Rhea, and a clear victory for Doug over Rhea, the last shot is of Doug, beaten to a pulp, sitting in the locker room with Eva, looking smugly satisfied with himself, then a beat, then "I think I nailed him." Yeah, Doug. Yeah you did.
• Gord's bizzare speech, involving ranting about his divorce, and saying "we need to be gay porn hard!"
• Pretty much everything that comes out of Stevenson's mouth.
  "LISTEN UP CASH!"

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