-Morgikit sits by a fireplace and speaks in a stuffy old British guy accent while an instrumental version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" plays in the background-
Old Creativity was dead, to begin with. Dead as a doornail. This must be understood clearly, or nothing will come of the observation I'm about to make, in which the creators of this Saturday morning cartoon anti-drug special decided to emulate the plot of a certain classic of British literature which certainly hasn't been done to death by this point.
-switches to normal accent-
Seriously, ya'll. Scrooge as a cartoon duck, Scrooge as a woman (I've seen at least 3), Scrooge as Fonzie from "Happy Days". VH1 did a version with Vanessa Williams as Scrooge, and the Ghost of Christmas Future (Yet to Come in the original) was played by a fake "Behind the Music" episode. There's even a play on an evangelical channel where Scrooge learns Jesus is the "Reason for the Season" (also charity and kindness and stuff). Sure it's a wonderful story with a timeless message and an early example of Time Travel in fiction which is awesome, but would it kill modern day TV and movie writers to show some originality?
Okay. Rant over.
We cut to Scrooge in his counting house-sorry-Michael in "VIDEO ARCADE". Really. It's on a big sign above the door surrounded by flashing lights. In a neighborhood that looks like it should be next door to "ADULT MOVIE THEATER" and "CRACK DEN".
Rock music blares while Mike and his friends smoke weed in the back. They consist of a blonde girl, a black guy (if you guessed he's the only black character in this special, you get a gold star), a guy with brown hair in a ponytail, and a guy with red hair who looks and sounds like Wheeler (as he should, them being voiced by the same actor). One asks where Michael got the money, but he gives a non-answer and takes a drag. A puff of smoke emerges from his mouth and takes the form of a ghostly figure in a suit and tie voiced by the late George C. Scott (is everything in this world sentient?), who tells him to keep smoking and forget about what happened with his sister earlier. Here's some trivia for you: Scott once played Scrooge in a TV movie adaptation of A Christmas Carol. Now he's playing a ghost, or at least a hallucination of one. The other kids don't seem to notice him.
Wheeler says Mike's pot is "pretty good", but he has something better, "the latest thing". That's just rude. What would Gaia say? He opens his hand to reveal some crack. He tells the others it will give them "a major high", and that's all the encouragement they need to put this strange new substance into their bodies...somehow. Everyone except for Michael, who looks nervous. The ghost of his joint (the credits refer to him as Smoke) excitedly tells him to take some too, then joins the others in taunting him when he doesn't immediately jump on the opportunity to ingest something he found in a seedy video arcade that looks like little pieces of broken glass.
Before Wheeler can tell the kids at home the best way to use cocaine, we hear police sirens outside. Who'd have thought distributing illegal substances in public would invite unwanted attention? The teens disperse, with Michael getting cornered in a back alley as we see a shadow approach him. Smoke tells him he's on his own and phases through a nearby wall while Mike begs for mercy from Officer...Bugs Bunny? It's just Bugs Bunny wearing a police officer's hat.
Michael: "You're not a cop!"
Bug: "Okay. You win. Ya got me dead to rights. I'm not a cop. I'm a rabbit. But just because I got long ears doesn't mean there's nothin' in between 'em!"
Calm down, Bugs. He didn't say you were stupid. Just that you're not a cop. Which you aren't.
Smoke returns to laugh at Michael for running, and Bugs for being "a cartoon", only to get stuffed in a garbage can after his hypocrisy on both is pointed out. At this point Bugs spots the joint Michael dropped, and wants to know how he got started using. "Because I wanted to", the boy responds. I've heard worse excuses.
Not satisfied with this answer, Bugs decides to find out another way. From Hammerspace he produces a box with a button on it. When he presses the button, it transforms into the TARDIS! Okay, I'm kidding, but it is a time machine, at least. "I borrowed it from some coyote", he explains. Does that mean it's going to explode? The boy and the...something enter to find it seemingly Bigger on the Inside (or maybe it's just the art) and wait for Bugs to check the ACME brand instruction manual. Wait, ACME? Well, they're doomed.
Meanwhile, back at Michael's house (in the middle of Michael's street) the family has just had breakfast. Mom is cleaning the kitchen, while Dad checks the fridge and notices they have a few beers missing (I guess this is where the alcohol part from the introduction comes in). She assures him that he probably just drank more than he thought watching the game last night, because "Who else would take them?" Who indeed? This answer satisfies Dad, who goes out to clean the garage. But I wonder: if he can't keep track of how much he drinks, is it any surprise one of his kids has a substance abuse problem?
Mom asks Corey if she's noticed any strange behavior in her brother. It seems she's noticed changes in him lately as well, and is concerned. But Corey says no. After her mother leaves the room, Pooh asks why she lied. Giving her a moment to get past the "Holy crap, a talking stuffed animal" shock, he tells her that she should have told her parents about Michael's 5-finger discount that morning. She refuses because he'll be mad at her if she narcs on him. Pooh acknowledges this, but tells her to think about what could happen to him if she doesn't.
Back in the not-TARDIS, Bugs transports himself and the others to "two years ago." They survive the trip, and see a younger Michael playing frisbee in the city park. But something is amiss. "Where's the color?" he asks. Bugs simply remarks that they're in the past. "And the past is in black and white. Get it?" I guess he does, because he stops asking questions. All the same, I'd keep an eye out for The Langoliers if I were them.
Little Mikey comes across some older kids smoking behind the public bathroom. "Are you guys cruising for lung cancer?" he asks in a whiny little voice. It turns out they're smoking pot, not cigarettes. They offer him some, and taunt him for not immediately accepting.
"Do you still think it was your choice?" Bugs asks. What the hell kind of question is that? Sure he was pressured by the cool kids to take his first hit, but he admits he did it so they'd like him, so yes. It was his choice.
Smoke jumps to Michael's defense. "He needed me. All his cares went *POOF*! No worries, no bothers." This triggers a storm of cliches from Bugs, who tells Michael that everyone has problems and you can't always get what you want but it's what's inside that counts so believe in yourself! He then inflates Smoke with a pump to demonstrate that pleasure from drugs is only temporary, and eventually...something. You'll explode I guess.
Corey works up the courage go out to the garage and talk to her father about Michael. Not really listening, he tells her that her brother is just going through a phase and she'll just have to bear with it. At first she seems willing to press the issue, but the moment it looks like she has his attention, she chickens out and drops the subject. Yeah, forget it Corey. It's a 30 minute special. We've still got a good 15 minutes or so until the plot's resolved.
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