Psyga: Okay, so my character is stuck in a church... or a brothel... or whatever.
Haruto: Would our characters make it to the Church in time for the next scene?
[Odds: Likely. Chaos Factor: 4. Roll... 48]
Psyga: Okay, so that’s good. Alright, lay us the scene!
Olodak wakes in a church, with Elfalcon and Gracella entering. There they encounter a priest.
Psyga: Okay hold on, I know where this is going. The priest is evil, right?
[Odds: 50/50. Chaos Factor: 4. Roll... 87]
Psyga: Thank God.
“My word! You just crashed through the wall! Do you need any healing?” The Priest asked.
Haruto: Wait... does this mean he’s a Cleric?
[Odds: Somewhat likely. Chaos Factor: 4. Roll... 11]
Psyga: SWEET... Oh wait... Good aligned... Cleric... You guys realize what this means?
Haruto: Um... No.
Psyga: It means he’s recruitable!
Haruto: What conclusion do you draw that from?
Psyga: The fact that we lack a healer! Don’t you see? This priest is supposed to be the GM giving us a healer! A patch to our broken raft!
Haruto: How do we even know if he can join us?
MYTHIC: I hate to warn you, but digits are within Chaos range.
Psyga: English?
RANDOM EVENT!
Psyga: Ah crap.
NPC ACTION! THE NPC CHOSEN FOR THIS ACT IS...
Psyga: Wouldn’t it be the priest? He’s healing Olodak. That’s the action.
Haruto: No. That’s not how this works. It has to be something random. We know he’s going to heal if Olodak says yes.
MYTHIC: Yes. And in order for this to be random, I shall select from my list of NPCs we encountered so far. And this NPC is...
PRIEST!
Psyga: SEE? WHAT DID I TELL YOU! He heals Olodak! There.
Haruto: Wait! We need to figure out the meaning of his action.
Psyga: The fuck you on about?
MYTHIC: This is to help us interpret the random event. Maybe he does something else.
EVENT MEANINGS DECIDED! DEBASE... INSIDE!
Psyga: Debase inside? The fuck does that mean?
Yui: Readings suggest the random event feature easily annoys Psyga.
Psyga: Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Yui: Readings recognize that as sarcasm.
Haruto: Ah, the holographic priest is going to talk now.
“Well, I’m not that hurt, but if you insist.” Olodak said. The Priest then glared at the Orc.
“Very well. But we do it outside of this church.” The Priest said.
“Why?” Olodak asked.
“Because your smell will ruin this church’s décor! I refuse to have such... filth in my church!” The Priest said.
“You saying you don’t like my kind?” Olodak said. He was about to perform his Intimidate skill again, but Elfalcon then spoke up.
“Father, with all due respect, I don’t trust this Orc as much as you do, but this sort of racism isn’t rather... religiously.” Elfalcon said. The Priest then looked at the Elf.
“YOU! Tree hugger! Don’t you already have your own God to worship? Why must you stupid elves have to interfere in every other religion?” The Priest asked.
“I’m sorry, but aren’t Priests supposed to spread the word of Kriemhild of how everyone is to be loved? Not reject everyone out of her supposed ‘Barrier of Peace’?” Elfalcon asked.
Psyga: Okay, before the talking computer says it for me, I have no idea what the hell is going on with the Gods and religion and all that jazz. What setting is this?
MYTHIC: Since I am unequipped with the Grayhawk setting, or any other setting in Dungeons And Dragons, I saw fit to create my own based off random things I encountered on the World Wide Web.
Psyga: So... Kriemhild... Are you talking about Kreimhild Gretchen?
MYTHIC: I presume so.
Psyga: Okay, I may need a drink. Because this is now becoming a drinking game. Take a shot every time an anime reference makes it into this game. I’m already at two with Captain Obvious.
“Upon our journey, we come across a religious prick, with the ideals and views of a country hick.” Graceella said as she wrote down a few lines of her poem.
“And will you kick that Gnome out!? She might be tracking in dirt for standing out in the garden for too long!” The Priest said.
“Wait, did I say religious? I meant to say racist.” Graceella said.
“All of you should get the [EFF!] out of my church right now!”
“OR WHAT!?” Olodak said as he sized up against the priest.
[Intimidate Check: Olodak: 4. Priest: 21]
The Priest, unintimidated by Olodak’s monstrosity, whips out a bottle of holy water and throws it at him.
“OUT! OUT I SAY!” He said.
Psyga: Okay. Lawful Neutral. That’s pretty much what I can get from this guy. He’s also showing hostility... Does he want to fight?
[Odds: Unlikely. Chaos Factor: 4. Roll... 63]
Haruto: Alright. So he doesn’t like us, yet since he’s probably just a cleric, he can’t stack up to a barbarian and a wizard. The bard he could probably take on. No offense, Yui.
Yui: None taken.
Psyga: So... He’s definitely a medium for us. We can’t convince him to join our party, yet we can’t kill him since he can’t throw the punch.
Haruto: Thought you would be the first person to land a blow.
Psyga: Nuh-uh. He has to hurt us before we kill him. Self-defence and all that.
Haruto: That... doesn’t make sense.
Psyga: Hey, I’m playing a Chaotic Good character. It comes with the territory.
Haruto: Don’t Chaotic Good characters go around blowing up buildings and robbing people blind? I mean, if you base your character off something as simple as an alignment, then it’d make sense for him to just lob off the head of the Priest because he’s a dick. Plus, considering how I see it, it’d make sense for Olodak as a character to do it.
Psyga: Hm... Now that you think of it...
Olodak took out his sword and swung it at the Priest.
[Attack Roll... 6 Vs. 10 AC. Fail]
Only to have it be blocked by some holy light.
“The heck!?” Olodak said as the Priest soon knocked him out of the church. Elfalcon and Graceella following him out.
“AND STAY THE [EFF!] OUT OF MY CHURCH!” The Priest said. The heroes soon decided that he wasn’t worth killing and went on their way to Draco.
MYTHIC: SCENE COMPLETED! One NPC added. Chaos Factor raised by one.
Psyga: Damn dice. They are never trust worthy.
NPCs added
- Priest
