And now the party moves on to Manehattan. Well, first we get a big internal monologue from Littlepip about how the zebras destroyed it and look they were too dumb to build a proper stable because ponies sind der master race. Whatever.
Two misused parenthetical clauses in one paragraph. I'm actually almost impressed by that.
Also, fun fact: today I looked up the Fallout Series on Wikipedia. The page mentions this fanfic. And unlike that idiotic stint in which someone tried to stick it on the "list of the longest novels" page (didn't even get the formatting right), it looks like this one might stay. Fuck.
Anyway, blah blah clearing out the stable. They proceed through and they see a Balefire Phoenix, which SteelHooves talks about. Then they see some raider ponies chasing a mare that has blood dripping down her thighs.
OH BOY I SURE TOTALLY MISSED THE RAPE STUFF FROM THE EARLIER CHAPTERS EEYUP
Anyway, they kill the raiders, and Littlepip notes that her rifle shoots bullets that sets enemies on fire. She is briefly horrified, but I somewhat suspect this won't stop her from using it when she is sufficiently OUTRAGED. On that note, how many guns does Littlepip have at this point? She's got, what, two sniper rifles, a shotgun, a carbine, and Little Macintosh, unless I missed something where she got rid of something. If that's the case and it continues in this direction I'm seriously questioning the "can't wear a battle saddle" bit.
Oh, and the last one of the raiders is a colt. Littlepip can't bring herself to shoot him, but Calamity does. Eeyup, we gone full grimderp here. Why the kid doesn't run away when he finds that all the other ponies have died (seriously, how'd he miss the one on fire?) and instead tries to go for the knifing... Whatever. I figure this is mainly to set up that Littlepip can't bring herself to kill foals, no matter what happens. I can just see in now, a sign that reads:
You must be this tall to be gruesomely killed by the protagonist.
Or maybe she'll defy my expectations and shoot a midget pony or something.
Anyway, Velvet's pretty shaken. Can't be too outraged, given she'll be shacking up with him soon enough.
And... that's it? Uneasy silence and moving on? Nothing?
Actually, y'know, I was once following a discussion, and someone complained about the relationship between Homage and Littlepip. Someone countered that they never see anyone complaining about Velvet and Calamity. Well, I will, given that the story is unbearable in teasing them and they're so obnoxiously catty with each other. Not to mention that it also gives Littlepip something else to angst about, but mercifully she'll be meeting her love interest soon.
Speaking of Homage, the radio comes up and she's still bitching about the ghouls from earlier. My, my is she self-righteous. She and Littlepip are a match made in... this fic.
"Smiled" is not a "said" verb.
Anyway, I'm gonna take a slight break from continuing the trek here to talk about a video game I played recently called The Walking Dead. It's the latest in Telltale's line of episodic adventure games based off of popular franchises such as Sam and Max, Homestar Runner, Wallace and Gromit, and Back to the Future. It's based off of the Image comics series about the zombie apocalypse, which attempts to paint things as extraordinarily bleak and depressing. This previous weekend I completed the first episode. Here
is the trailer for episode one, because dammit, I've been putting up with this stuff you like, you putting up with something I like is the least you can do.
And all I can think about is how this game does everything better than Fallout Equestria. I mean, seeing how desperate the survivors in The Walking Dead are by the end of episode one I can't help but think the Wasteland seems pretty fucking cozy. I mean, come on, the place has functioning towns and shit.
And then with protagonists. Lee Everett gives me a reason to give a shit. He's got an estranged family that's killed in the zombie outbreak before he's able to make up, and there's a fairly wrenching scene in which he has to kill his undead brother. Not to mention that I have a reason for caring if Lee lives or dies because of Clementine, a girl he meets up with early on and has to take care of.
Not to mention that The Walking Dead has actual moral ambiguity, where you're presented with numerous uncomfortable choices, none of which have clear-cut right answers. Things like needing to decide how honest you should be with Clementine about your past and the likely fate of her parents. Or when you encounter a woman who's been bitten by a zombie and she asks for your gun so she can kill herself. Then there are the slightly more cliche matters of "two people are being attacked by zombies and you can only save one" choices, but still. This story doesn't seem to be able to go beyond "murder and loot" or "not murder and loot" and the answer is almost always "murder and loot." "Also, I'm a self-righteous hypocrite and I treat my friends like shit."
Anyway, they arrive at Tenpony, and they convince the guard that they have business with DJ Pon-3. Not the most reliable guard, honestly.
Ah, the "toaster repairpony" joke. It can join "Luna fuck me with ________" on the pile of "running gags that aren't fucking funny." And another use of the word "facehoof."
Anyway, SteelHooves is playing up ghoul-hate for some reason, I guess to completely make sure there's no suspicion at all or some shit, and Velvet remarks about Calamity shooting the colt earlier.
Also:
And now the actual argument about shooting the colt. Personally, I maintain the whole thing is stupid, because if anyone in this fucking story acted like actual people the colt would've shat himself and run away.
Also, you can tell that they're going to bone each other because they detest each other's moral compasses. Because that makes for a believable relationship, right?
Anyway, things are settling down and Littlepip gets a nice room in... marble walls and... I repeat: cozy.
Also, say hello to Monterey Jack. Guy who tried to rob Littlepip at the beginning of the story. And now Littlepip is demanding he be arrested. Have I mentioned how much I hate this protagonist lately?
And. Now he's going to be executed... what. He's reintroduced immediately and now he's gonna be killed off... what? This is fucking stupid.
Goodbye, Monterey Jack.
Okay, here's the problem:
Velvet Remedy: "This is murder!" *a few lines from Littlepip* "Whatever am I going to wear?"
SteelHooves: "I don't trust you, but I am going to give you a very personal secret."
Raider Kid: "They're all dead and one of them is on fire, but I have no self-preservation instincts at all."
Monterey Jack: "Yeah, I'll totally blab even though I probably know this'll get me killed leaving my kids helpless. Something about 'corrupted virtues' and some sort of moral there."
People do not act like this.
Ah well. Kinda a shame. From that speech of his I sympathized with him infinitely more than the protagonist. Same with Silver Bell, actually. Fuck, I want a story about Ditzy and Silver Bell. They're infinitely more endearing than the main party.
Anyway, we're introduced to Homage during this scene, and Littlepip goes to see DJ Pon-3. And, as I already knew from spoilers, Homage is DJ Pon-3. And she starts her broadcast by being all snide about Monterey Jack's impending execution.
Wow. I already hate this character. That's got to be some kind of a new record for me.
I'm gonna take a break and play Thief.
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