Hang onto your headwear, folks, this one's gonna hurt.
The title is "Team Supreme". Sounds more like a specialty pizza.
>The next day, the Powerpuff Girls were mild-mannerly watching cartoons in their living room, when a familiar ringing noise sounded on the other side of the room.<
When the heck did "mild-mannerly" become an adverb? And shouldn't it be "mild-manneredly" anyway?
>"The hotline!" said Blossom.
She rushed to get it. Usually she expected the Mayor or Miss Bellum's voice to be on the other end of the line, so she quite surprised to find a different person this time.<
A throaty, gurgling voice whispered, "Seven days..."
>"Um, Blossom?" said Numbah One's voice. "That's you isn't it?"
"I can't find my body."<
>"Numbah One?" said Blossom. "Yeah, what's up?"
Bubbles and Buttercup gathered around.<
'Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?'
>"Look, I'll get right to the point," said Numbah One. "Yesterday, the Gangreen Gang gave us some trouble and..."
"The Gangreen Gang?" said Blossom.<
What, is she taking exposition lessons from Solid Snake again?
>"Are those nutcases bothering you?" said Buttercup into the receiver.
"Yes, but that isn't the half of it," said Numbah One. "We took care of them and... well, we assume you know of a person named Princess Morebucks..."
"Know her?" said all three of them at once.<
"Bitch still owes us ten bucks!"
>"She's one of our worst enemies!" said Bubbles.<
...I'm not sure how to respond to that, since I don't recall Princess getting as many episodes as most of the big names but haven't seen the show in years. Still, in a universe with Mojo Jojo and Him, I have trouble believing Princess is really worthy of the term "worst enemy".
>"We figured as much," said Numbah One. "If what the Gang's leader said was true, she plans to strike, and possibly soon. We may need your help.
"If you choose to accept, I can grant you the status of temporary junior deputy operatives, and..."<
Bureacracy: it sucks at any age.
>"Of course we'll help, Numbah One!" said Blossom. "We'll be there in an hour!"
"Well then," said Numbah One. "You can... hello?"
But they were already flying away from Townsville.<
"Man, I just wanted them to help me move a couch, why'd they go overboard?"
SCENE CHANGE... for two lines of expository dialogue that we already know. We don't even leave the PPG viewpoint. That was necessary!
SCENE CHANGE again to the Treehouse:
>About an hour after the phone call was made, the team was carefully watching their surveillance equipment.
"Picking up three flying individuals coming in at ten o'clock," said Numbah Four, turning on a screen. "Yep, it's them all right."<
"Firing ground-to-air missiles."
>"Okay team," said Numbah One. "Let's get this party started... disable the security system for five minutes and put up the beacon on the main entrance."
A large spotlight came on at the main entrance of the Treehouse. The Girls quickly flew down to it. The main door opened.<
They broke out the liquor.
>They walked into the central meeting chamber.
"Welcome to Kids Next Door HQ," said Numbah One.
"Wow!" said Buttercup. "This place is awesome! Like a Fortress of Solitude made of wood!<
"OW! Splinter!"
>Did you guys build this place yourself?"
"Uh huh!" said Numbah Three, who was giving the grand tour. "Wait till you see this!"
She stopped by the power generator.
"These little guys help us by running the power!" she said, pushing the button.
The door opened, revealing the chamber where hundreds of hard-working hamsters were jogging away on treadmills.<
Somebody call the ASPCA!
>"Oh, how cute!" said Bubbles. "But how can they keep it up all the time? It looks like hard work!"
"They work in shifts, Bubbles," said Numbah One. "We have much more of them than this. And the excess power is stored in backup generators, so at night they all can take a break. Numbah Three takes care of them most of the time."
"When they aren't driving me crazy!" said Numbah Four.<
And when she's not sending them to Mexico for vacation, thereby depriving them of power. That was a dumb episode...
>"Anyway, why don't we show them the technology center?" said Numbah Two.
"Yeah," said Numbah Five. "Show them where you think up new ways to do dumb things."
"She's kidding," said Numbah Two.<
"I think..."
Before the tour can continue, the Priority Mission Alert sounds, and Numbah 65.3 contacts the group:
>"Hi everyone," he said.<
>"We have an urgent Code-Red message... and I'm glad to see that for once Numbah One is here, so let's get down to business... we've got dire info on some activity on your area."
"Lay it on us, chief," said Numbah Five.<
"We believe that Dracula has begun establishing a base on the other side of the moon...'
>"The Moonbase receivers have intercepted a coded message from... someone," said Numbah 65.3. "We don't know who it was, but when we cracked the code, it turned out that someone was building a weapon of mass destruction in the woods outside of your area, possibly using technology common to the Delightful Children From Down The Lane.
"Your assignment is to investigate, and if this is true, destroy whatever weapon and engage whatever enemy. Use caution, because this might be dangerous."<
Great, they're a kid version of Blackwater.
Both sets of heroes conclude that it might be Princess, and they prep for battle:
>Ten minutes and forty-five seconds later, the team was garbed in their protective 2x4 field flack jackets and helmets.
"Are you sure those will do?" said Buttercup.
"They may look haphazard," said Numbah One, "but this armor is better than what the military has.<
And because the military is full of adults, they refuse to share, even though this means that many children's parents will likely die in battle. Why are these our heroes again?
>I'm afraid we don't have any in your size...
"Are you nuts?" said Numbah Four. "They're already bulletproof!"
He looked at them.
"Um, aren't you?"
"Well, we don't like to brag..." said Bubbles.<
How would they know? Nobody in the PPG universe has regular guns.
The two groups head into battle, and we SCENE CHANGE to the forest:
>"Any sign of anything, Numbah Three?" asked Numbah One.
"Some trees," said Numbah Three, who was at the periscope. "Birdies... oh, a bunny!"<
Why did they let the most easily-distracted teammate work the periscope?
>"I meant anything dangerous!"
"Wait..." said Blossom.
She put her hand to her ear.
"Giggling..." she said. "Girlish giggling... and it sounds familiar..."<
"I knew it! Michael Jackson is waiting in ambush!"
The team lands and loads out, and an enemy approaches:
>A giggling was heard over the treetops.
"Be ready, team," said Numbah One, as they raised their weapons.
A small shape appeared over the treetops, and energy started to emanate from it.
"SCATTER!" said Numbah One.<
Then why did you bunch up in the first place?
>The team rolled away and the Girls flew aside, as a blast of energy hit the place where they were standing.
Princess Morebucks, clad in gold armor and flying on a heavy-duty jetpack, flew down and laughed.
"Princess!" said Blossom. "So the Gangreens weren't kidding! You are behind this!"
"And you've walked right into my trap, Power-poop Girls!" said Princess. "My new and improved self-contained, dark-matter powered, super-destructo, exoskeletal armor is packing 200 gigawatts of energy, enough to blow the three of you into your component sugar and spice! And just wait until you see what it will do to your new friends... who I'm gonna fry first!"<
That's barely enough energy to power the Delorean, what do you think it's gong to do to the PPG?
Sure enough, the PPG No-Sell the blaster, and Princess decides to make them pursue her. But before the KND can give chase:
>"Kids Next Door," shouted Numbah One, "battle sta..."
And then the sound of rockets igniting filled the air. A huge 2x4 vehicle looking like a house on rockets landed, breaking a few trees in the process.
"Oh no," moaned Numbah One, holding his head.<
"Dorothy's drunk again."
>Suddenly, several hatches opened, and five KND operatives (three boys and two girls) wearing white flack jackets and helmets leapt out with weapons drawn. Then a sixth hatch opened, and a girl in a completely different uniform leapt out.
Numbah One couldn't believe it. It was their least favorite superior officer, Head of Decommissions, Numbah 86.
"Spread out everyone!" she ordered to her team. "He's around here somewhere!"<
"Corvello ain't gettin' away with this one!"
>"Well Nigel," she said. "I assumed you would be here. Ah'll be takin' over command of this mission now if ye don't mind!"
"What gives you the right?" said Numbah One. "Numbah 65.3 put my team in charge of this mission, and I'm in charge of this team!"
"Ah'll tell ya what gives me the right!" said Numbah 86. "We found out the origin of the code that was intercepted at the Moonbase!<
"It really was Dracula! Who'da thought it?" Also: damn, does Brian use a lot of exclamation points...
>It was sent by none other than Numbah 274! As a turncoat operative who hasn't been properly decommissioned, it's my job ta apprehend him! Now either like it and work with us, or ya can go back ta your Treehouse!" "We'll work with you," said Numbah One. "But we won't like it!"
"I can live with that," said Fanny.<
She says that now, but you know she's going to whine about it on her Facebook page later.
>"Is this a friend of yours, guys?" said Blossom.
"Colleague," said Numbah Five. "Associate, maybe. Friend, no."<
"Why she was my Secret Santa last year I'll never know."
86 questions the presence of the Powerpuff Girls, and Numbah One explains the Morebucks situation. 86 isn't happy, but accepts that they're necessary for success:
>"Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup," she mumbled. "Those are dumb names..."
"Ooh, let me at her!" said Buttercup. "I do NOT have a dumb name!"
"Easy, Buttercup, easy!" said Blossom, holding her back.<
"She's just projecting the pain of being called Fanny!"
>"Who is this Numbah 274?" said Blossom. "Is he an operative?"
"Stay alert team, while I tell them," said Numbah One.
The team raised their weapons and guarded the area.<
To quote Linkara, TIME FOR BACKSTORY!
>"You see girls," he started, "No one can be a member of the Kids Next Door forever. All operatives have to retire when they turn thirteen. It's a process called decommissioning. When an operative is decommissioned, in order to preserve the secrets of the KND, he or she has all his or her memories of KND activities wiped from his mind."
"Sort of like in Men in Black," said Bubbles.<
I have so many bad things to say about this, but if I got started we'd be here all day. Suffice to say this is my least favorite part of the show's concept.
>"Sort of," said Numbah One. "Most operatives who turn thirteen go willingly, but there are always a few who don't want to have their memories wiped, and they become what we call Runners. When that happens, Numbah 86 and her squad has to hunt them down and force them into the decommissioning machine. It isn't pleasant.
"But even worse than normal Runners are the very rare Runners who have actually turned traitor, sided with our enemies and fought against the Kids Next Door. We call them the Forsaken.<
"And on occasion, Steve."
And now, the worst moment in the fic:
>"In our history, there have only been seven known Forsaken. Three of them died in battle with KND operatives, preferring death before capture. Two of them were captured, and they are now in the most secure cells in the Moonbase prison.<
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
This is why I kept going on about suspension of disbelief - because with two lines, Brian Corvello has shot it in the head.
I get that every adult in the KND universe who isn't engaged in active supervillainy is blind, deaf and slow-witted when KND activity is going on, but these are thirteen-year-old kids. They have families. If they were locked in secure cells on the Moon, their familes would notice. There would be missing-person reports, and the cops would be all over the city - and that would be the end of KND secrecy.
And then there are the ones who got killed. Again, they have families. How are you going to explain it to them? "I'm sorry, but your daughter refused to leave a secret organization of kids fighting adults, so we killed her to protect our secrets"? Or worse, do they not tell them anything at all? Do they just leave a corpse in the middle of the battlefield - or take the body with them, forever denying the family knowledge of the dead teen's fate?
Apparently, in Brian Corvello's version of the KND universe, all those who refuse to accept decommissioning are orphans with no living relatives who can die or vanish without any trouble.
No wonder he seems to have handwaved the main characters's families out of existence. He was trying to cover his tracks.
I don't want to continue, but I have to anyway. It's my job here.
>"Of the other two, they are still at large. One of them is Numbah Five's own sister, Cree, formerly Numbah 11 and one of the greatest fighters in the organization.<
"And a hell of a lover."
<"Numbah 274 is the most recent Forsaken, and the worst. He was one of the best operatives in history... or so they said. He was practically running the show by the time he turned thirteen. He caused us a lot of trouble when he tried to hide his age, and he nearly destroyed the organization before we foiled his plans.
"And seeing as he knows so much about how our organization works, he remains one of the deadliest enemies..."<
"Because we're too lazy to alter our practices in order to render his knowledge useless. Sad, really."
>"That is so true, Numbah One!" said a voice above them.
They turned upwards, and saw Numbah 274 hovering above, with Princess beside him. He was dressed in armor similar to hers, a helmet similar to the one he wore as an operative (only gold), and also carried a sword on his back.<
Wait, why does he have a sword? He's got friggin' battle armor... (Future MCT just sent me a note... and hoo, boy, are we going to have a field day with this.)
Chad declares that there is no WMD, and that it was a trick to lure out Numbah One and friends, when...:
>"Hands up, 274!" shouted Numbah 86.
She and her team appeared behind Numbah One's team and the Girls.
"Are ya gonna come quietly, or do we have ta rough ya up?" said Numbah 86.
"You know, Numbah 86," said Chad, "I never did like you. Tell me, how many victims have you decommissioned this week? Still trying to break your record of nine?"<
I shouldn't be agreeing with the villain, but Numbah 86 really does like it too much. That's why everyone in the KND hates her.
>"Ah'm not warnin' ya again!" said Numbah 86. "Hands up!"
Her team and Numbah One's team raised their weapons.
"Them first," said Chad to Princess.
Chad and Princess aimed their gauntlets and fired their rays at Numbah 86 and her team. Numbah 86 was thrown; her team was thrown much harder.<
Princess threw her hands in the air. "Whoo! Ten points!"
>The rest of the group was shocked, but not for long.
"Heat vision Girls!" said Buttercup. "Aim for the gauntlets!"
"Good idea!" said Numbah One. "Hit their gloves!"
The Girl's heat vision and the five operative's weapons fired at the two pairs of metal gauntlets on Chad and Princess's armor. Within seconds, the gloves burst, and the two villains screamed.<
However much Princess paid for those things, she got cheated.
As Princess and Chad book it:
>Numbah One looked towards Numbah 86 and her team. Numbah 86 was unhurt, and one member of her team was only slightly injured, but the other four members were barely hanging on. The slightly injured member was speaking on a communicator.<
Why exactly is Brian insisting on making everything about life-and-death in this story? It's based on a children's cartoon where people use frigging soda guns!
Numbah 86 calls out a bunch of stupid-named mechanical runners, and the KND and PPG pursue the enemy:
>"Enemies sighted!" said Numbah Thee. "Hi enemies!"<
Oh, great, it's another Running Gag.
>"They're right behind us!" said Princess.
"I know that!" said Chad. "Maybe I can slow them down..."
He drew his sword and pressed a switch on it. It began to glow.<
We seem to have taken a detour into the 40K universe.
He uses the sword to cut down some trees, but the PPG lift them out of the way, and the KND operatives open fire. Princess and Chad hit their shields, but it still leaves them dizzy:
>"That's it!" said Chad, raising his sword. "I'm taking out that spoiled brat!"
He charged towards the three D.O.H.D.O.H.s avoiding the cannon fire, and flew towards the backs. He eyed the three large fuel tanks.
With three slashes of his swords he cut through the tanks.
"No!" shouted Numbah 86 in panic. "He ruptured the tanks! Abandon D.O.H.D.O.H.!"<
"Tanks" is no longer a word to me. Also: what the heck are they fueled with?
>In fear, she leapt to the ground, landing with a cry of pain. Unable to stop her, the Girls lifted the other five operatives to safety, seconds before the three D.O.H.D.O.H.s exploded.
Numbah 86 was thrown by the explosion, and this time she was hurt. She pulled herself to her feet, just in time to see Chad standing over her.
"I may not be able to zap you with this armor," he said, raising his fist, "but it does make me pretty strong!"
He socked her in the face, sending her flying into the underbrush.
The team and the girls looked on in horror.
"Not even Fanny deserved that!" said Numbah Five.<
Meanwhile, the readers are chanting, "Hit her again! Harder!"
>"We'll handle Princess," said the Girls. "You take care of your Forsaken."
The Girls flew towards Princess at full speed and surrounded her.
"Enough playing around!" said Bubbles.
She opened her mouth and let loose her sonic scream. Princess covered her ears, and her armor started to spark.
"Take this!" said Buttercup, punching her. "And this, and this, and this!"
Huge cracks started to appear in the armor.
Blossom inhaled, and let forth a blast of ice breath, which coated Princess from head to toe. She fell to the ground, encased in an ice cube.
"Y'know," said Buttercup. "We could just stick her in the freezer and keep her there..."
"Naw," said Blossom. "That would be too easy on her."
She struck the ice coating and it shattered, along with the suit of armor.<
That was really cheap, crappy armor, apparently. Notice that Brian appears to be rushing to end this part of the battle. This is because, according to that note from my future self, he wants to focus on what comes next chapter...
Princess is K Oed, and we go back to the other fight:
>Meanwhile, the five operatives were blasting away at Chad with their weapons, but he was faring better than Princess did. He blocked some of their blows with his sword, while his armor bore the brunt of the rest, bearing only a few dents.
Chad leapt up in the air, and made four slashes, destroying the team's weapons. The shattered pieces fell to the ground.<
Remember my previous comments on how easy it is to disarm the KND? They might as well be using rolled-up newspapers to fight.
>"Now," said Chad, "I'm going to do away with you for good!"
"Don't worry guys!" shouted Blossom. "We're here!"
"Oh no!" said Chad. "Looks like my parter couldn't defeat you again... So I guess I'll have to take care of you."
He raised his sword. The Girls charged at him.
As the were about to reach him, Chad clicked his heels together.<
"No place like home... no place like home..."
>The Powerpuff Girls screamed, and fell to the ground. Their muscles went rigid.
"Mojo's..." said Blossom. "Mojo's X-Ecutor Field!"<
We appear to be doing a crossover with Marvel.
>"That's right Girls!" said Chad. "Mojo implanted that special feature in my armor as a little surprise!
"And now that all of you are totally defenseless, I'm gonna finish you off!"
"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT CHADWORTH!" said a voice from above.
Suddenly, a masked figure dressed in black leapt down from the trees, landing between Chad and his enemies.
The figure removed the mask, revealing a teenage girl about sixteen years old with flowing black hair.<
Then why was she wearing a mask in the first place?
Last two lines:
>She drew a sword similar to Chad's and leveled it at him. Chad looked at her in hate.
"Lotus..." he said.<
Enter the Mary Sue. Notice the vaguely Asian name, sword, and flowing black hair. This should tell you everything you need to know about her.
So in this chapter, we learned that the KND are willing to murder any who dare to risk exposing their secrets. How delightful.
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