[The stage is divided into two levels. On both levels are rows of seats, with figures sitting in them. The figures are unidentifiable, as the lights are down. The lights come up on the central seat, revealing a figure in a black shirt. This is the administrator, RIGHTEOUS FURY]
RF: I'd like to announce that I will be adding several new reviews to the website. They come largely in part from an independent gaming website. [smirks] The author there absolutely hates my guts, and would never agree to it. Nevertheless, I think that my site is a far better venue for the reviews, with my own additions, of course, than the little backwater section of the internet he had filed them under. I think he'll be flattered with it.
A User: Isn't that plagiarisn?
[Lights come up on the other users. They all have white t-shirts indicating their usernames - a flaming tire, a brain, a lightbulb, etc. RF turns to the user]
RF: I think the better question would be, "what the fuck is plagiarisn?"
[The User starts to speak]
RF: Nnnnope. Banned!
[Lights go down on the user. Other users snicker. BURNOUT speaks.]
Burnout: This won't turn out well.
[RF looks at him.]
RF: Let me make one thing clear here - if you want to comment on the reviews themselves, that's fine, but the next person who whines to me about [exaggerated falsetto] "oh I'm STEALING someone's work" is banned. I don't care about your whining about what is [exaggerated falsetto]"right" or "wrong." You got that? I don't give a fuck. I did it because I wanted to. Now, the following reviews are being added to the site...
[He proceeds to rattle off a list of games nobody has heard of. A new user enters, wearing a white t-shirt with nothing on it, but wearing a fedora. He quietly takes an empty seat. As the list is finished, the others get up and leave except for him. When the others have left, RF looks at him suspiciously]
RF: Who're you? Someone trying to incite some cross-forum drama?
[The new user, known now as THE HAT, raises his hands,]
Hat: Oh, no. I'm just a new user.
RF: You read my essays?
Hat: Well, err, no.
RF: My essays are required reading. It's there in the rules-
Hat: I understand, sir. I haven't posted yet. I will read the essays before I post, I assure you.
RF: You'd better. You've wasted enough of my time as is.
[HAT nods. Both exit. On a level above, two other people look down. They, too, are wearing white, with no logos. They do, however, wear other items. One of them wears a MONOCLE and the other a PIPE.]
Monocle: What's The Hat doing there?
Pipe: Admin there seems like quite an asshole.
[MONOCLE starts descending]
Pipe: Oh, tell me you aren't registering.
Monocle: I'm not, I'm not, I'm just gonna read a bit more in the forum.
[RIGHTEOUS FURY appears again, this time in the background, indicating a past thread]
RF: It seems that people on the internet like to talk about me. Here is a list of websites and forums in which I have been mentioned. Do what you like with them - troll them, spam them, sign them up for child porn. Feel free to go nuts.
Monocle: That's a long list.
[PIPE grins.]
Pipe: Someone likes to see what people say about him.
Monocle: How do you even find most of these without spending a disproportionate amount of time on Google?
Pipe: Well, not quite that much - I believe there are also functions of seeing who links to your website.
Monocle: Yeah, but still-
Pipe: Yes. Still.
Monocle: I just don't have a clue what Hat thinks he's up to.
Pipe: Well, maybe it'll be funny.
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