So, first place I visit after turning on the game is the Database. I immediately notice that, whenever I click an option, a character announces said decision. The database has nothing in it, as this is my first time playing, but I find that the music is very nice indeed. The Music section has only the title screen music (Makai Infinite) and the gallery music (Candy-Colored Gallery). I then click on CG, and a Prinny announces “It’s the Netherworld Gallery, dood!” in a really enthusiastic voice. And…there’s nothing there since I’m just beginning, natch.
On to actual gameplay! Back at the main menu, I click on ‘New’. I get the following narration, narrated by a rather masculine voice:
What happens to me if I…die?
It never crossed my mind when I was alive…I lived freely, did what I wanted. Heh. Maybe that’s why…
The screen goes black. A spotlight turns on, we see a Prinny, and he starts spinning in place.
Prinny (in regular Prinny voice): I turned out like this, dood.
“DATABASE: Prinny” has been added!
The background changes to a view of Laharl’s castle from the outside. The Prinny is now a character portrait.
Prinny: My soul’s become locked in this body and I’m now a Prinny. I must work hard in this stupid Netherworld until I earn enough money to use as a literal payback for all the poor choices I made while I was alive, dood. Dood…what a strange habit to pick up, dood. I don’t understand how crimes can be paid off with money, but I guess money is all that matters in hell, too, dood.
“DATABASE: Netherworld” has been added!
“DATABASE: Dood” has been added!
Okay…constant narration’s already becoming a chore, so I’ll just summarize from this point on. Unless there’s a specific line or two that I really, really want to share with you.
So, our protagonist Prinny is stationed at Laharl’s castle, 20/7, 365 days a year, and his salary is worse than Dick Gumshoe’s. And the longest day of his life is about to start…
So, our Prinny hero (?) walks right into Etna, which ends as well as you’d think. Doesn’t help that he thinks he walked into a billboard, and Etna’s, well… Anyways, she says she’ll take every Hell buck he’s earned, but decides that she’s feeling nice and won’t go that far. Instead, she merely points a gun at the Prinny and tries to blow his head off. After that one move from the main games that ends with a giant flaming cross rising up from the blast, it turns out that our Prinny is still alive, proving that Etna wasn’t lying when she said she was feeling nice today.
“DATABASE: Etna ” has been added!
“DATABASE: Hell (HL)” has been added!
Etna leaves, but now Flonne comes into the scene, wanting to know why Prinny is so badly singed. It should be noted that she’s in her Angel Trainee costume instead of the one she sports in post-Disgaea 1 titles. She also thinks that the ‘billboard’ remark was rude, but after the Prinny says it was an accident, Flonne decides to be nice and not deal her own punishment as well. The Prinny then notices the costume change from one sentence ago, which Flonne says is because she reapplied for the Angel Exam and has her own permit. The Prinny asks if she’ll have to go back to Celestia, which Flonne hasn’t even thought about, and she worries about her mail-order packages needing to be rerouted. Today’s order is supposed to be the “Prism Rangers vs. effort Ninja Gorillian!” DVD, which she’s been waiting to get her hands on for a while. I should probably give a shout-out to Blazinghydra, who recently fought the Prism Rangers in his own LB…and I guess I just did.
“DATABASE: Flonne” has been added!
“DATABASE: Theatrical Version” has been added!
So, now Flonne mentions that Etna’s in a good mood today because she ordered a limited-edition version of some “Pudding from the Sea of Gehenna”. The Prinny hopes that Laharl doesn’t get his hands on this Super Rare Pudding first, but apparently, the shipment of the dessert is a closely-guarded secret. And if we blab, Flonne’s going to get Etna to beat us up again. As she leaves, the Prinny remarks that it’s vague threats like this that explains why she had only a permit.
Unfortunately, Laharl was nearby, and overheard the word ‘secret’! Prinny, being a rather large idiot, blabs before he even turns around to see who it is. Laharl says that his vassal’s property is rightfully his, and Prinny finally notices who he’s talking to. Laharl demands to know the location of the Pudding, and after he find out we don’t know that, assembles his Prinny Squad to his bedroom so they can form a plan.
“DATABASE: Laharl” has been added!
“DATABASE: Laharl’s Bedroom” has been added!
In the bedroom, we’re given our assignment of finding out where the pudding is. The Etna-fearing Prinnies don’t really like this idea, but Laharl’s the one that pays their salaries, so they’ll do what he says. As the other Prinnies leave, Laharl says he’s going to starve himself so he can fully enjoy the dessert when he gets it, and then exits the room. Our protagonist worries about how many ways this could go wrong, including Etna already finding and eating the pudding by now, and decides to put his mind off of things by following his original cleaning duty assignment while still in Laharl’s room.
“DATABASE: Pudding ” has been added!
“DATABASE: Cleaning Duty” has been added!
After storing an assortment of weaponry, our Prinny finds a broken pocketwatch! …Yes, that sentence deserves an exclamation point, for the Prinny decides to fix it, and after he does so, it activates!
TickTock: [ TickTock activated when someone pushed my buttons!]
That’s her actual dialogue, folks. The Prinny decides that it’s a cute voice, and TickTock decides that we’re her new owner and decides to ‘save its soul’. Prinny feels odd for a few moments, and then falls unconscious.
“DATABASE: Pocket Watch” has been added!
After an undetermined amount of time, we’re awakened by Laharl. We ask when he came back, and he calls Prinny an idiot and tells him to get back to the Pudding assignment. In Prinny’s hurry to get out of there, he runs into the pointy end of a drill, a morning star, and…the PSP screen?! ...Nope, just a window. After falling a few stories down and hitting ground, something falls on top of us, causing pain even to Prinny’s fanny pack. Our hero decides to give up, go home, and sleep forever, deciding to ignore Laharl’s constant laughing because poor Prinny has nothing to laugh about in his own life.
Cue a giant explosion in Lord Laharl’s room, with Laharl still inside, complete with a CG.
Prinny freaks out, and Laharl says he’s been assassinated. Yes, you read that right; Laharl’s being a bit of a Large Ham over the whole thing. Etna and Flonne, both rather upset, come to find out what he’s yelling about. Laharl still insists he was assassinated, despite Etna pointing out the contrary, and Laharl says that he’s too great to die from a single assassination. They talk about the explosion, Etna thinking it was just some kind of bathroom problem, and then Laharl wonders where the ‘Netherworld Heroes’ are during this ‘crisis’. A Prinny comes in and says that Ms. Jennifer was busy working on Thursday. If you don’t know who those two are, wait until the next update in Blazinghydra's Disgaea LB.
“DATABASE: Assassination” has been added!
Etna once again tells Laharl that he’s overreacting, and that it’d be too much trouble to purposely try and assassinate him anyways. Everyone starts staring at her, and then say that she’s the most likely culprit. Etna brings up how Flonne first came to Laharl’s castle as an assassin, which Flonne can’t really deny. Laharl decides to defend Etna, only because she wasn’t there laughing in his face as soon as the explosion occurred, and Flonne says that Space Detectives would probably agree with him. Considering that she’s an Otaku, that’s probably a good thing. Laharl goes on to say that Flonne must also be innocent, because she’s too dumb and clumsy to get out of the way of the blast in time.
So, Laharl says that this leave us with…The Prinnies! Of course! It’s so…wait, dood, WE’RE a Prinny! Laharl doesn’t really know why they’d do it, and decides that someone must’ve paid them off. He doesn’t know who, but he still thinks that it was a Prinny, which certainly can’t be a good sign for us! He says that if the guilty one comes up right now, he’ll go easy and pick the 107th punishment out of the 108 in existence. Flonne asks which one’s the worst punishment, and Laharl bluntly states that it’s obviously the 108th. Of course, none of the Prinnies step up, so Laharl decides to punish all of them! Since killing him is too horrid to deserve death by his hand, he decides to…cut their salary! They may even have to work for free for the rest of their lives! May I remind everyone that these guys need to buy their way out of the netherworld? Worse yet, any who run away will be caught and given a negative salary, meaning they’ll have to pay everything they saved up just for the ‘privilege’ of continuing to work in the Netherworld forever! Laharl finds this idea of his to be rather amusing. The Prinnies, of course, don’t.
“DATABASE: 108 Punishments” has been added!
Our Prinny, who returned after the explosion occurred, can’t believe how horrible his life just got. He wonders why his life is so screwed up, which TickTock interprets as a request to start his life over. She then activates, and our Prinny begins to fade away...to be more specific, TickTock exorcised his soul from his body. The soul looks just like a Prinny, even though that opening narration tells us that he used to be something else once upon a time. Interesting…
Anyways, Prinny wonders if he just died, and then TickTock starts rewinding…and then breaks. According to new information at the corners of the screen, it’s the 7th hour, we’re in the Bedroom, and we currently possess our old body. TickTock announces that we’re back in time, thanks to her special power. She then asks us not to mind her if she starts narrating all the time, which the Prinny decides to accept because she seems like a very nice pocketwatch. She tells us that she took us back to the oldest restore point, AKA back when I wrote the words ‘save its soul’. Our Prinny decides to use this advantage to try and stop Laharl’s assassination, and more importantly, avoid a salary cut!
TickTock: [Well, it all depends on the actions you take from this point on. Your fate…your future are in your hands…er…flippers?]
“DATABASE: TickTock" has been added!
Prinny asks how to get his soul back into his body, but his old self currently holds his unconscious soul and thus cannot be accessed immediately. Our Prinny soul decides to float around a bit, but finds that he’s stuck to his old body. TickTock says that we need to possess someone to get anywhere, and then asks us if we want a tutorial. Prinny says that this is really nice, though he’s slightly offended that he gets referred to as a game mechanic.
“DATABASE: Tutorial” has been added!
The clock goes to 8, and Laharl comes in & asks if we’re there to report anything. Prinny panics, since the first time this happened, it ended with him falling out of a window. TickTock tells us that, to possess someone, we need to press the L or R button. Since pressing X doesn’t continue the dialogue, I press…Triangle! I’m brought to the main menu, and I decide to save my progress & quit.
And that’s it for now! Next time, do we press the L button and possess Laharl, or do we press the R button and…possess Laharl? What can I say? It’s a tutorial, you know! Also, here’s your first Database term; if you want to see any others, please say so!
No.11 – Assassination
We know, we know. He wasn’t actually killed. We just have to roll with it.
OTHER NEW DATABASE TERMS: Pudding, Dood, Theatrical Version, 108 Punishments, Pocket Watch, Hell (HL), Tutorial, Cleaning Duty, plus info on all characters & locations visited thus far.