Live Blogs You're only reading this because I rated the game 3/10! Let's read horrible GameFAQs reviews!

Ephraim2252011-04-19 00:10:18

Game FA Qs is perhaps one of the most informative Video Game websites known to man. Created in 1995, the site is a database of video game information, nearly all of which is submitted by volunteer contributors. You can find just about anything you'd want to know about any given game: walkthroughs, maps, cheats, secrets, release dates, box art, reviews...

Haha reviews

Game FA Qs is already notorious for its many Fora, the userbase of which is known to consist primarily of Trolls, idiots, console soldiers, and people too lazy to read the FAQs the damn site is named for. But that wouldn't be enough, for there is a second cesspit of hatred and lies on this otherwise awesome website - the reviews section, where users are allowed to give their opinions on a given game or system.

Maybe you've come across that one review on that one game, and something seems a little off. That is, you can't understand where the reviewer is coming from, or his spelling sucks, or maybe he didn't even play the damn game. I, Ephraim225, am here to expose the worst, most incomprehensible, unreadable, and possibly painful Game FA Qs reviews you have ever had the misfortune of hearing about.

Now, don't get me wrong, we all have opinions. Mine might be different, that's just life etc. etc....but hear me out. I've seen Game FA Qs users write good reviews before. I've seen reviews that I don't agree with but are well-written. We're here to find the reviews that will make you let out a Flat "What", among other unexpected expected reactions.

Let's read horrible Game FA Qs reviews.

Comments

SomeColorMage Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 10th 2011 at 7:02:30 PM

Well, that was downright shit. The only valid argument is that it was too dark. I had one of those attachable lights, didn't help much.

Also, he's clearly a fanboy of fan haters.

whizzerd Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 11th 2011 at 6:56:03 AM

...Wow. I'm speechless. His arguments are so ridiculously stupid that it loops around to hilarious.

What makes this even more funny is that when clicking the link to Game FA Qs the game recommendation bar to the side was advertising GBA exclusive games.

Child's rights...*chuckles* Oh dear lord...

EndarkCuli Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 11th 2011 at 9:05:42 PM

I had an attachable light, too...though the only time I got any use out of it was when my mother demanded that I went to bed immediately. My blankets were always able to cover up the one light I needed to have some post-curfew gaming entertainment...

Also, why is someone called 'Little Johnny' being pegged as a fool for buying remakes? To me, 'little' implies youth, as in "This little kid was born after those original titles became hard to acquire, and his first attempts to get into video gaming shouldn't be insulted by so-called 'hardcore players'."

JusticeMan Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 13th 2011 at 6:19:38 PM

Cell phone/games are making a comeback PSP Cellphone anyone?

JusticeMan Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 13th 2011 at 6:25:04 PM

Wait, I just noticed this. Pokemon R/B better than R/S? LOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

Nyarly Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 13th 2011 at 11:34:35 PM

Indeed, the only valid argument is that it's too dark. But even that is exaggerated here.

Other than that... Jesus, did he even ever play with a GBA?

FalconPain Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 15th 2011 at 7:13:04 AM

If Little Johnny is little enough that you can genuinely accuse Nintendo of infringing on "child's rights" by marketing to his ignorance via repackaging SMB 3 as a new game and convincing him to buy it, odds are he's also little enough that he wasn't playing video games when SMB 3 was released and thus wouldn't already own it. I mean, it's a thirteen-year difference. Even with Super Mario All-Stars, that was released ten years prior.

FalconPain Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 15th 2011 at 7:16:23 AM

(Also, he gave Metroid Fusion a 9/10.)