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Where the NINJA at? (only question)

I have to admit that I never watched 5D's. I mostly watched the first season of the original, half the second season before I abandoned the series, on account of it being crap in my mind, started appreciating it when a certain Abridged Series came out, then I watched half of Season 3 of GX and random episodes from the rest of the series. I do know the rules, and I actually have played the card game. I also know bad writing most of the time so there's no shortage of that here.

One thing in the dialogue that annoys me is that they will randomly use references to the rest of the 5D's series in such an awkward way, like that bit about Dark Signers, or the reference to the Arcadia Movement when the guy responsible is super dead, when they should not be worrying about it anymore. It makes the dialogue that much more awkward, and it comes off as the author trying to constantly say "HEY GUYS REMEMBER WHEN THIS HAPPENED CAUSE I SURE DO, WHAT ABOUT THIS OR THIS". It's letting characters be defined by events rather than their actual characters to a degree. I like to see those kinds of references made during crossovers as an offhanded comparison being taken out of context, or during a character interaction heavy scene.

On the duel...Oh dear god....The Mary Sue stech becomes intoxicating. And as another big fan of Fire Emblem (As you would never guess from my user name, although Fire Emblem: Blazing Blade is still my all time favourite) I really can't believe how badly the author made the cards fit. I actually know ways to make them a bit more balanced:

• Silence should just disable a Monster effect for a turn.
• Mist's healing ability be something more reasonable, like 200 or something.
• Sleep should just be a normal Spell Card that just stops a single monster from attacking.
• Swordmaster Mia as an 1800 4 Star Monster that can attack twice is VERY broken. Either make her attack 1000-1400 at most, or give her a different ability, maybe something based around criticals.

Also, comparing an equipped card buffed 2300 ATK monster to a innate 2300 ATK monster is one of the dumbest comparisons I've heard. Of course it would be better than Junk Warrior, as it wouldn't be as much a pain to summon, but whatever.

Maybe Micaiah's attack rose because she saw her soldiers getting motivated and she got motivated by them. Shut up, it makes sense to me!

And characters from an Action heavy series coming into what is esentially a competitive gaming series...Oh joy. I am going to LOVE seeing the author take on Naruto characters. But anyway, Great Liveblog!

"...So, the entire main cast of 5D’s was killed offscreen. All of them."

......Excuse me for a sec.

• A few hours of loud Profanity and destruction later*

• Pant* *Pant* Okay...Okay...I just....Wow....That managed to embody the ideals behind a middle finger through text alone. That is one of the single worst things you could ever, EVER do in a crossover. Slaughter the entire cast of one series to prop up a Mary Sue. LOVELY.

So is the 5D's stuff even going to be relevant anymore after this moment?

Kakashi takes Kasumi to Ichiraku Ramen, which he says is the best restaurant in the Leaf Village. Is it really? I don’t remember anything akin to that ever being said in the series, and Ichiraku always just struck me as an equivalent to fast food.

The thing is, the whole "Best Restaurant" thing was only ever stated by Naruto, who sees it as HIS best restaurant. It makes sense when he's saying it, since of course, his Trademark Favorite Food is Ramen, and that was one of the few places he was welcome in his childhood, but having Kakashi say it makes no goddamn sense, especially when Team 7 hasn't been formed yet and he barely knew of Naruto's habits.

And oh joy, a Mary Sue being inserted into early Naruto. What fun.

Yep, pretty much. A lot of the plot points that the author takes from early Naruto are essentially unchanged, except with either Kasumi being given a much greater role, it being completely glossed over, or Kasumi laughing at any other characters being incompetent (the last of which you'll see a lot next chapter).

Oh, and yes, 5D's will still be relevant. Though with this author, you probably won't like how it still is...

Oh boy... Something tells me we're just gonna sit through the whole start of Naruto but with a new character hanging about. Merde.

I kind of want to see how Riding Duels are going to be handled, if at all, in this fic.

@Flan: Given that Naruto is now crossed over, it will last about a dozen chapters, complete with flashbacks. :P. I kid.

@Psyga: That would probably be better than the sad, sad truth that there are no Riding Duels at all.

So Kasumi gets placed with Kakashi... why, exactly? (You know, aside from "because she's just that speshul.") I mean, you'd think Martha would take her in, unless she was killed too, and the author was just too lazy to mention her being at the house until then. And assuming Martha is, in fact, dead, why would Kakashi be the automatic first choice to adopt Kasumi? Why not a ninja with actual documented parenting skills? And that's not even getting into how the actual adoption process was easier than adopting a puppy from the animal shelter...

Bad form, Suethor. Bad form indeed.

@Roses: The only possible reason I can think of is that the stakes are too high for just any ninja to adopt Kasumi and decided to have Kakashi adopt her, ensuring that she's protected. This could also be the reason why they haven't considered Martha. They don't want any more innocents caught in the crossfire between the ninjas and Orochimaru.

BTW, I think the whole Jack Atlus murder joke was a bit much. The better one would be:

Jack: I got you something for your birthday Katsumi! A fist! *PUNCH* And the best thing about a fist is that you can give it again! *PUNCH* And again! *PUNCH* And again! *PUNCH*

@Emperordaein: Perhaps it was, but I often write these on a whim, with very little editing except to make sure all notation works properly. This has just been how I've written for a while, and nobody's brought that up about my other works before, so I'll definitely take that into consideration from here on out. And your joke probably would've worked better, but I've admittedly never seen Blackadder.

Throughout this entire thing, I can so easily tell that the author is distilling every character down to being defined by their gag moments and catch phrases. I know because I did the same thing when I made my terrible, terrible, terrible Fire Emblem/Naruto crossover. It lasted two chapters before I pulled the plug. The thing is, I got better. In fact, I mostly abandoned a Subspace Emissary retelling fic in the planning phases because I just could not truly grasp the personalities of too many of the characters involved.

Katsumi: "Divine? I thought you were killed!"

Divine: "NOPE!"

So that Divine duel. As the soldier said to the blacksmith who made him a Lance made out of Bread and Cushions, What's the bloody point?! She IS going to have a duel that actually challenges her, right? Right...?

@Emperordaein: Sooner than you think, thankfully.

Well... Technically he was brought back during the second death thanks to Reset Button.

Kasumi removes a plant monster (in this case, Copy Plant) from play to activate Black Rose Dragon’s effect to reduce the attack of Magical Android to zero. Black Rose Dragon's secondary effect requires the other monster to be in defense mode for it to work because it has to change said monster into attack position, you can't do that to a monster already in attack position. Apparently the author knows nothing about the monsters she's using for this story.

(TC)

Sigh... I knew it. This is not Kasumi: The Last Signer. This is Kasumi's Adventures Of Naruto. Pretty much a reenactment of Naruto with Kasumi doing something that barely resembles her doing something, such as stealing people's lines or suggesting things that people are obviously gonna do.

Personally, I hope Haku being a duelist has some change to the flow of the plot. I wouldn't go as far as wish for him to be a Signer (maybe a Psychic for a little Not So Different moment, though I highly doubt the author is that smart to pull that move) but if it changes anything to The Stations Of The Canon, then I will be a little happy at this fic.

@Psyga: You'll probably be happy to know, then, that this chapter is where the canon pit stops are most prevalent. Later arcs, and even later events in this arc, that are told in Naruto itself are more altered or glossed over.

Imagine if saying “Believe it!” was a sport, Naruto would have become a god.

He eventually stopped saying that in the dub.

Wow. Bitch. Wait no, it’s okay because Kasumi is perfect and nobody likes Sasuke.

Well, that is half right...Wait no. Because Part 1 Sasuke was actually bearable, and an okay character. It's Kishimoto's Uchiha boner and him not knowing what the bloody hell to do with Sasuke that made him terrible.

Kasumi could just have Jill fly over there, since she is a wyvern rider, and wyverns can fly, but she then just gives up for no real reason.

Well duh. I mean, Zabuza is a Boss Hero unit. Those bastards are bitches to kill. By the look of things his evasion stat is too high to just chip away with Javelins, and he seems to have a secondary magic based weapon to defeat ranged units, and would do major damage to Jill, particularly since he can double her. His terrain also makes him problematic. Now, all you need to do is utilise Naruto and Sasuke's abilities to their full potential, and keep Sakura as a supporting unit to them so they don't die easily. Remember not to attack on your own turn, just wait for Zabuza to attack and-Wait, what was I talking about? Oh sorry. Thinking of a much better series.

Is the quality of this fic going to reach the point where you start doing desperate Chapter titles ala "Please god make it stop, make it end", or "If I get a brain aneurism as a result of this fic, can I hold the author responsible"

@Emperordaein: I do realize he stopped saying "Believe it!" eventually, but he hadn't yet at this point in the series, so I found the joke apropos regardless

I'm pretty sure the "Gato/Gateau" thing was one of Naruto's lines in the manga (at least according to the Viz translation) that the author just ripped off because s/he thought it was clever, therefore, Kasumi should get to say it.

Now obviously, YMMV, but I think that line actually kind of makes sense as something Naruto would say. We've got a preteen Idiot Hero being told that the sinister Corrupt Corporate Executive's name basically sounds kind of like "Mr. Chocolate" (or "Mr. Cake," as the case may be). I doubt he'd be inclined to take Gato seriously as a threat at that point. (Still pretty stupid, but again, Naruto isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer at this point.)

And oh goody, another poll. In my experience, when an author needs to ask the readers about what direction the fic should take, it reeks of poor story planning and indicates that the author cares more about getting reviews than putting together a coherent plot.

At the start, I thought this was just another mediocre 5Ds fic. Was that just me or is this actually getting worse as time goes on?

it*

Okay, what I think the author was trying to do was give Haku a burn deck, ala Axel from GX. The difference is that Axel had his own archetype that focused on it, AND HE ACTUALLY USED BURN TACTICS. Haku just has a bunch of random cards that do burn damage.

Let me guess, the whole "Super Signer" thing is never explained, or explained with some tripe like: "She inherited their spirits, and with it their signer powers!"

@Emperordaein: You're pretty much right. The author doesn't really explain how it happens, other than maybe her being the last Signer. It just happens for the sake of happening.

@FlanGRe: It's getting pretty bad, yeah. And we're still only 1/9 done, so it has so much farther to fall~.

@Flan G Re OHOHOHO, You will not even be able to FATHOM how bad it truly will get.

Take a shot everytime "Signers can only defeat other signers" is mentioned. :P

And I have a theory that Sasuke will confront Kasumi over facing Orochimaru and will be a major obstacle in her path to defeating him given certain events. Assuming they will go with those events.

I can say that whomever you think it will be, you’re probably wrong~!

You mean it's not Kabuto? </shock>

Don't listen to Psyga; alcohol poisoning is no laughing matter.

You know, all of that stuff Kasumi said about murder and that entire discussion made me think of how the Nostalgia Critic described Bella when he introduced her with a tirade on the many ways she was a horrible person, and said it would be fine if it was intentional. Similarly, Kasumi really seems like the kind of character, with good execution, would make for a good villain story. But of course, she's the hero.

How does he know what X-rays are? Naruto is anachronistic, but not to this extent. X-rays might or might not have been used later in the manga

Given that they used DNA Testing in the recent arc.....

Does nobody in this series have the slightest sense of tact? Or subtext?

The following examples you gave made me think of every person in the fic speaking like Fi. And really, that is the last person I want to be reminded of.

"Six wins zero losses" I said. "Undefeated" Haku said

My brother did topped track record by a LARGE amount in no time. (Against me)

For the metagame, at least, this couldn’t be more wrong. Outside of a few choice instances, duelists are far more concerned with effects, type, and attribute than they are with raw attack or defense. How would Kasumi know how “most duelists” act, anyway? She’s ten, and her total duels can almost be counted on one hand.

You know, there's this Pokemon Fanfic I really, REALLY like called Brave New World, and there are segments where they play the Yu-Gi-Oh card game. Except the segments are really just played for laughs, and parody the way the Anime depicts card games. This fanfic does it the way the Anime does it, except far worse, and done seriously.

Kasumi starts the duel by summoning Cleric Mist, and there’s the cliche exchange of somebody asking why she would play such a weak monster before she explains its effect

I can't help but imagine some character adopting Abridged Freeza's style of keeping count of all the generic phrases they hear.

Well [Tenten] has an all Dragon type deck

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. She would have been PERFECT with a Warrior Deck! Hell, even a Dragunity Deck would have been better for her! At least that relies on Monster Equips!

Shikamaru looked up "Not good and for once this is truly a drag a monster with three thousand attack points off the back."

Oh god. They are speaking like the characters in Felix The Cat The Movie

Rei having been a cheerleader for Jack while he was still popular. Knowing this author, this entails Rei being portrayed in a chiefly negative fashion.

Actually, I believe this was based on a background Easter Egg from 5D's. So the author actually did do some research. That tiny iota of praise will likely be flushed away when Rei and Asuka will inevitably get completely destroyed in a disrespectful, humiliating way.

@Emperordaein: They seriously used DNA testing? Go figure. I guess it's what I get for trying to review a Naruto fanfic after not having read Naruto in forever. Though, on the other hand, this chapter was probably released far before that happened. [/flimsy justification] And a character that adopted Abridged Frieza's habit would improve this entire story by so much. Sadly, the author is not nearly that self-aware.

Trust me. You are not missing anything good in Naruto right now.

Really, these kinds of stories only work if they are written to be self aware.

Hm... Tenten is an interesting choice given that She doesn't have that much of a character to begin with.

Oh boy, here we go!

Wow, I have to say the choice of Tenten is a (dare I say it...) pleasant surprise. No doubt this is already on the road to ruin, but whatever. Nothing we can do about it except hope that MFM retains his/her sanity for the rest of this Liveblog...

"It's good that you possibly gravely injured him and defaced the monument that you blasted him into. Yes, a good thing."

Alright, she beat the protagonist of Yu-Gi-OH GX, a kid who dueled YUGI GODDAMN MOTO to a standstill (Kind of) and he gets utterly punked by a Mary Sue. I cannot emphasise the word "Bullshit" enough, so I will not try. And not only that, but Jaden was totally out of character. He didn't try to summon Neos even once!

I can’t help but think of how much better this announcer would be if he was from Super Street Fighter IV.

So, in other words, Iron Tager. He's too good for this fic. I would like the Street Fighter Alpha 3 announcer though.

As Jaden takes damage, Kasumi uses her psychic powers to actually make him feel damaged by it

What.

After she explains what he’s feeling, he reacts remarkably well, calling it sweet and saying he wishes he had something like that to deal with Chazz.

WHAT.

You hurt somebody in a card game for fun for no goddamn reason and you get COMMENDED FOR IT?! YOU FUCKING ENTITLED LITTLE BITCH!! This is the kind of shit that made me Rage Quit the Fantasia Festival arc in Fairy Tail for fuck's sake!! AAAAASSSSSS!!!

It's standard nature for the Mary Sue to be the only one who can do evil and yet not get punished for it but rather rewarded.

Which is possibly why I didn't exactly minded her having a little remorse for one guy she killed. You know, the one who she remembered the face of. And to anwser your question a few pages ago about why she remembers the face (and I think you already know, but here we go anyways) it's possible that it's her first kill (maybe, my memory is a bit fuzzy, but I definitely know that Sayer/Divine didn't get killed by her) and she's having a guilt trip ala Katniss Everdeen.

So, yes, just to elaborate on what I stated at the end of this entry, it's two weeks late, if that wasn't obvious. I am really sorry for that, but as I already mentioned, school has been hell recently. Thankfully, I will be out of town for a good portion of next weekend, and that will be it, for the most part. So, I might not get something up next week, but expect regular updates to return after that.

"Her fear would bug me less if it was elaborated upon..."

icwutudidthar

But yeah, this is just bad writing. Ugh. Well, know that you have at least one constant reader here. Carry on, brave liveblogger!

Make that two. Even though I don't comment a lot here, I still read this and like it.

I can't believe there are 64 of these chapters. That's almost as many volumes as the Naruto Manga. Even more scarily, all fourteen chapters so far (save for prologue, obviously) correspond with the first fourteen volumes of Naruto. With some abbreviation here and there.

The point of the above paragraph was to express my hopes of this author overtaking the manga/anime and actually making up their own story as opposed to ripping chunks of it wholesale (though I like that they're at least changing it up with duels and all that jazz) but it seems they are pacing themselves.

@Paladin: Funnily enough, I didn't actually notice that until it came time to edit. It amused me enough to keep it in.

@Psyga: Original plot will come in surprisingly short order, assuming I can get back to a schedule. Doesn't mean it's any good, though.

@MFM: Still means this author is actually gonna try. :P