1 | [[quoteright:350:[[WesternAnimation/{{Trollhunters}} https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/skathe_hrn_trollhunters_002.png]]]] |
2 | [[caption-width-right:350:Troll not included.]] |
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4 | Has an EvilOverlord moved in next door? Has he been keeping you up at night with his raping and pillaging? It is he impervious to normal means of slaying? Well, worry no more, as TropeCo/TropeCo® has come to provide. Introducing the new TropeCo/TropeCo® AncientArtifact™! |
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6 | Artificially aged and made with the anonymity of the manufacturing address, our {{Ancient Artifact}}s™ were made with your [[FantasyCharacterClasses Fantasy Character Class]] and development as TheChosenOne in mind. Are you a warrior? We have a [[SwordTropes sword]] and [[LuckilyMyShieldWillProtectMe shield]]. A [[RoyalsWhoActuallyDoSomething royal]] [[KnightInShiningArmor knight]]? A slightly shinier sword and [[HumanShield a squire to use as a shield]]. A [[LovableRogue rogue]]? A [[DeviousDaggers knife]] and [[InvisibilityCloak cloak of invisibility]]. A [[MinoredInAssKicking scholar]]? A sextant ([[StealthPun stop laughing]]) that can reveal hidden secrets. A [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame dwarf]]? [[FantasticRaceWeaponAffinity An axe or hammer]]. A {{wizard|Classic}}? A MagicStaff. A [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot dwarf-wizard]]? A MagicWand. A [[DemonSlaying demon-slayer]]? The {{BFG}}. |
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8 | For only a third of the cost, we at TropeCo/TropeCo® will throw in a state of the art TropeCo/TropeCo®-brand DungeonCrawling experience in retrieving your brand new TropeCo/TropeCo® AncientArtifact™. Grind your stats, collect treasure, slay beasts and prove to yourself, your friends, your family and your antagonist that you are worthy of wielding the TropeCo/TropeCo® AncientArtifact™, followed by a fulfilling up-close demonstration of your TropeCo/TropeCo® AncientArtifact™ on the way out! |
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10 | But wait, are ''you'' the EvilOverlord? No fear, loyal customer, as for a limited time only, TropeCo/TropeCo® will also be selling our brand-new ChaoticEvil [[LimitedSpecialCollectorsUltimateEdition Edition]] TropeCo/ArtifactOfDoom™ for a mere half of the price, because evil has to have that unfair advantage. We have [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Cursed Rings forged in volcanos]], [[TomeOfEldritchLore Necronomicons]] [[Franchise/EvilDead inked in blood and bound in human-flesh]], [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} sentient cars built from history's evil automobiles]], WarGod [[ComicBook/DarkNightsMetal Helmets that give you super-strength]], all of which come with a free EvilCostumeSwitch for those thinking of joining the Dark Side. |
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12 | Just call FiveFiveFive-FiveFiveFive-TROPE and order now! |
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14 | [-Instructions not included. Some assembly required.-] |
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