Line #60 Funny/FinalFantasyXIII


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5	* At the beginning, whenever Vanille asks a question that anyone who lives in Cocoon should know -- like saying "who's this guy?" when the Primarch shows up on the television -- nobody gets suspicious. They just assume she's a major ditz.
6	--> '''Sazh:''' I mean... what are they ''teaching'' kids these days?
7	* The opening cinematic to Chapter 12 contains one for Snow. He waves to a cheering crowd...conveniently forgetting about his l'Cie brand. Once the guards start mobilizing, he realizes what just happened.
8	-->'''Snow:''' Oops... [[CaptainObvious probably should've covered that]].
9	* When Sazh jumps after Lightning and land on his face... then the chocobo chick sticks a landing that would make an Olympic gymnast proud, complete with its wings stuck up in the air.
10	* The chocobo chick's datalog entry.
11	--->The chick has no name, as voicing the true identity of the animal [[SeriousBusiness might trigger ripples of destiny across Cocoon and cause a hurricane in Eden.]] Either that, or Sazh hasn't thought of one yet.
12	* Just before Fang gets her Eidolon, she talks about how she's made up her mind. The Eidolon appears and she says it's for l'Cie who are indecisive. Just after Snow protects her, you can hear him say, "So, you haven't made up your mind yet?"
13	* Early on when Snow and Hope are attempting to get to Hope's house, there's a pair of civilians whose plight the player can hear of if he or she decides to get close to them. It's a father and son that were separated in the commotion. Only it's the ''father'' that starts to whine about how he should have listened to his ''son'' when he was told to stay where he was when they were separated. When you clear out the enemies and they can get together, the son will scold his much older father.
14	* All of the guys looking away in embarrassment when Fang checks Vanille's brand. Hope covering his eyes and coughing is just sort of hilariously adorable.
15	** Similarly, there's Snow's awkward reaction to Vanille revealing her brand to him at the beginning of the game.
16	* Hope and Vanille free falling in the opening cinematic for chapter 11, made funnier by virtue of being a split second piece of dialogue in the middle of a CMOA.:
17	-->'''Vanille:''' Are you okay?
18	-->'''Hope:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh yeah! I'm GREAT!]]
19	* Sazh and the chocobo chick during the "Save the Chocobos" mission:
20	-->'''Sazh:''' Hurry the ''[[PrecisionFStrike what]]'' up?
21	* This one is repeatable, since it happens in gameplay, but requires some timing: do a Paradigm shift and watch your party strike their AngelsPose... followed immediately by a mob [[TalkToTheFist knocking one of them flat on their ass]]. Whilst the other two just stand there looking cool (or attempting to).
22	** Even better when the enemy uses an attack that launches the character into the air. The ring that appears around the character when Paradigm shift occurs is there, and the camera will focus on it, but your character will be flying through the air.
23	** If a party member is launched just before another member heals or buffs them, they have a chance of spouting their character-specific "Thanks!" line... [[CasualDangerDialogue while being juggled Smash Bros. style by a Behemoth.]] And, of course, the simple sight of your medic desperately chucking cure spells at someone who is soaring through the air is completely hilarious by itself.
24	* In chapter 12, the party casually jumps off a ledge, leaving Vanille to wonder what they're doing before following. The group falls through the air as Vanille waves her limbs and screams, and Lightning activates the Grav-Con Unit for them to land in safely.
25	-->'''Vanille:''' You could have warned me! \
26	'''Fang:''' That's how they get around on Cocoon. \
27	'''Hope:''' [[CallBack That's how]] ''Light'' [[ChekhovsGun gets around]]!
28	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i99K9dIfIQA&t=4m59s Sazh's finisher when Brynhildr is in Gesthalt Mode]]. The way that he and the [[LetsPlay/HCBailly Frocobo]] land splat on the ground next to Brynhildr is great.
29	* Mark 34. Here comes Zenobia the Butcher, and you're expecting her to be a tougher fight than most of the Undying marks preceding her... until a fucking ''tonberry'' shows up and steals your kill. With a knife. In ''one hit''. '''[[FlatWhat What]]'''. Of course, Final Fantasy veterans already know what to expect of [[KillerRabbit those critters]].
30	* While wandering Pulse, you can come across some of the [[{{RidiculouslyCuteCritter}} sheep]]. Vanille walks up to a larger one, grabs it, then ''yanks a tuft of its wool off so hard it sends the thing crashing to its side when it comes off''.
31	** There's more to that scene! When Vanille first tugs on it, the sheep gives a ''"What the heck are you doing?"'' glance to her and she gets a little nervous. The moment she succeeds in yanking the wool off, the tearing sound is so loud that the first thing you might think is ''"Well, staggered this sheep good."''
32	** For extra laughs, pay attention to Snow's commentary during the scene.
33	-->'''Snow:''' Uh... Vanille? \
34	'''Vanille:''' Shhh! \
35	'''Snow:''' (exasperated) What's she doing this time?\
36	'''Vanille:''' starts yanking on the sheep's wool\
37	'''Snow:''' Wha- What are you doing? Stop that!
38	* Early on when Vanille is left with Sazh, she's climbing up a piece of rubble/machinery. While it isn't intentional, Sazh looks up and is about to get a [[PantyShot full view of Vanille]]. The chocobo chick blocks his view and chirps indignantly.
39	* Doubling as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, the time Sazh's chocobo took down a {{mook}}. By itself. KillerRabbit indeed.
40	* When Vanille passes a group of sheep in Nautilus, she says the following:
41	-->'''Vanille:''' Look at these wooly little things! I just wanna squeeze 'em 'til they pop!
42	* Sazh gets one if he's your party leader in the final battle against Orphan.
43	-->"...I ''definitely'' don't wanna meet your parents!"
44	** Made funnier by the fact that he kind of already did, in the previous phase of the battle.
45	* When Fang and Lightning are talking in Palumpolum, Light delivers an angry, frustrated backhand across Fang's face. After comparing the ensuing dialogue to Snow's, Fang asks if she feels any better for the blow.
46	-->'''Lightning:''' ...It didn't change anything.
47	-->'''Fang:''' Tell that to my jaw.
48	* [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "All this dampness is damp!"]]
49	* Sazh gets one when he and Vanille go together after the plane crash. A piece of debris is blocking their path and you have to operate a machine to get rid of it. Said piece of debris comes towards them, increasing at speed causing Sazh to go:
50	-->'''Sazh:''' Whoa... whoa whoa whoa WHOA! the debris is caught by the machine [{{beat}}] [[IMeantToDoThat I knew that'd happen]].
51	* Using Sazh against one of Bartandelus' forms and using a paradigm shift net you this gem:
52	-->'''Sazh:''' Bar...do...ly.
53	* During the cutscene for the opening of chapter 11, when the party gets attacked by an enormous flying monster, we get this:
54	-->'''Fang:''' He thinks we're lunch.
55	-->'''Sazh:''' Yeah, like a l'Cie food buffet.
56	-->'''Lightning:''' "Cie food." Cute.
57	** Made even funnier by the fact that they say it in a [[CasualDangerDialogue complete deadpan and unworried manner, despite that the monster poses a legitimate threat]].
58	* After Lightning, Hope, Fang, and Snow have a fight against a [[ShockAndAwe Kalavinka Striker]] on the ''Palamecia'' (and another one flies up to take its place), a portion of the hull blows open and Sazh and Vanille step out. Fang and Vanille start to have a joyful reunion, and Snow seemingly turns to Sazh.
59	-->'''Snow:''' There you are.
60	-->'''Sazh:''' Did you miss me?
61	-->''(fight music resumes as the second Kalavinka Striker flies in)''
62	-->'''Snow:''' Not you, the monster!
63	-->'''Sazh:''' What? Where?
64	* The RunningGag of Snow taking a swing at Barthandelus whenever he appears and Barthandelus [[OffhandBackhand casually blasts him back]] before continuing to speak to the party.
65	* On Gran Pulse, the party splits into three groups: Lightning with Snow and Sazh, Fang and Vanille, and Hope with Frocobo. Nobody is even a little bit concerned about the [[SquishyWizard squishiest wizard]] in the party being accompanied by only an ungrown chocobo chick on ''Gran frickin' Pulse'' until after Frocobo comes back panicking. Fang even says "He's off with the chocobo" as though she were a whole proper member of the party instead of a lodger in Sazh's afro.
66	* Near the start of the game, during the battle between NORA and the Sanctum, Vanille discards her cloak, revealing a colorful outfit that seems [[{{Foreshadowing}} completely out of place]] among the destruction around her, heads over to Hope, and hands him an ''assault rifle'' with a cheery "Here you go!", like it's a packet of sweets.
67	* One line, uttered by our favorite funny man when he first lays eyes on the Gigantuar.
68	-->'''Sazh:''' SWEET MERCY!!
69	** Sazh in general is great at pre-battle quotes. Meet an adamantoise?
70	-->'''Sazh:''' That thing is gonna Gran the Pulse right out of us!
71	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7dOOy8kBJY The skit with Lightning and Snow's voice actors for the game's launch party.]]
72	--> '''Snow:''' This'll be a piece of cake! Let's ''do'' this!
73	-->'''Lightning:''' Follow my lead!
74	-->'''Snow:''' '''''STEELGUARD!'''''
75	-->'''Lightning:''' Hang in there, Hope. Snow. ... ''SNOW!'' Don't just stand there!
76	-->'''Snow''' Ha! '''''STEELGUARD!'''''
77	-->'''Lightning:''' groans
78	-->'''Snow:''' C'mon; show me what you got!
79	-->'''Lightning:''' Wanna lend a hand here?
80	-->'''Snow''' Eh, don't worry, Light; I can take him! Watch this! '''''STEELGUARD!'''''
81	-->'''Lightning''' sighs ...never mind.
82	* When Snow's a prisoner, he's looking at Serah's crystal tear, and:
83	-->Fang hits Snow on the back of the head
84	-->'''Fang:''' (while shaking her hand) Ahh! I ''knew'' you were ''hard-headed'', but--
85	-->'''Snow:''' (turning around; indignant) Okay, that was-- ''Oww!''
86	* Sazh noticing and trying to catch a Cactuar that's taunting him. It runs off the moment he springs for it. Later on they meet back up in the same place... but the Cactuar is now a ''Gigantuar'', and still just as fast as it was originally... But far more confident in its ability to defend itself.
87	* Fang rejects Snow's RousingSpeech at the end of the Fifth Ark and draws her weapon on the party, declaring that she'll have no part in their self-sacrifice and [[LetThemDie all of Cocoon can go hang]] if it means she can save Vanille from turning Cie'th. When this calls Bahamut to her, she screams DontYouDarePityMe and says that Eidolons only appear to l'Cie who can't decide what to do in order to [[MercyKill put them out of their misery]]. Snow cuts through the drama with a logical observation: "So, you ''haven't'' made up your mind yet?"
88	* Chapter 9 escalates the panic in its alarms. Code Red is fairly normal. Code Green isn't an all-clear, it's bigger than red. Code Purple has the comm officer practically panicking as he yells it over the intercom. It's all capped off by Jihl being unable to decide whether Orange, Blue, or Yellow is next -- and Dysley calls Code White. It's even funnier because this is really the first time in the game that the l'Cie are winning, and Nabaat doesn't know how to deal with that.
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Context Funny / FinalFantasyXIII