| 1 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 2 | |
| 3 | [[folder:Hostel III]] |
| 4 | * Phelous D1 returns again at the end of the ''Film/HostelPartIII'' review! ...and Phelous doesn't care. |
| 5 | -->'''Phelous D1:''' Ha ha ha ha! You never should have installed that tattoo scanner on your door, Phelous!\ |
| 6 | '''Phelous:''' No.\ |
| 7 | '''Phelous D1:''' Uh... anyway, welcome back to the Phelous in a Hat and Trenchcoat saga! I'm taking you to the elite "hunt people who are bound up" club!\ |
| 8 | '''Phelous:''' No.\ |
| 9 | '''Phelous D1:''' BUT I--\ |
| 10 | '''Phelous:''' No.\ |
| 11 | '''Phelous D1:''' Come on! I've got a really good storyline this time, honest!\ |
| 12 | '''Phelous:''' No.\ |
| 13 | '''Phelous D1:''' ...Uh, ''please?'' I was gonna be all, like, "Ooh, faced!" and stuff, while I bound you up!\ |
| 14 | '''Phelous:''' ''No.''\ |
| 15 | '''Phelous D1:''' Come on! Repeatedly having storylines with me will be completely new!\ |
| 16 | '''Phelous:''' ''No! you're supposed to be a cat still, so go back to that.''\ |
| 17 | '''Phelous D1:''' He he he. But you see, time can be rewritten and stuff, so I--\ |
| 18 | '''Phelous:''' No.\ |
| 19 | '''Phelous D1:''' [[Series/DoctorWho I don't wanna g]]--\ |
| 20 | '''Phelous:''' No.\ |
| 21 | '''Phelous D1:''' ''(suddenly becomes a cat)'' Aw, damn it! |
| 22 | [[/folder]] |
| 23 | |
| 24 | [[folder:Octopus 2]] |
| 25 | * Phelous's "Really?" expression after a little wheelchair-bound girl declared a day of planting flags as the best day of her life. |
| 26 | * When it's apparently revealed that the Mayor and Police Captain set the two main characters up, it's revealed that the Captain was in fact named "Captain Octopus". |
| 27 | * Phelous attempting to do the magical NoEnding with the Film/JurassicPark music, only to find himself unable to get out of the driveway on his tricycle. |
| 28 | [[/folder]] |
| 29 | |
| 30 | [[folder:Julie & Jack]] |
| 31 | * Pick any part of his ''Julie & Jack'' review together with WebVideo/ObscurusLupa (along with some unexpected TearJerker at the end). It helps that their vastly different styles mesh surprisingly well. |
| 32 | [[/folder]] |
| 33 | |
| 34 | [[folder:Turtles Forever]] |
| 35 | * All the Shredder-related jokes in his review of ''Turtles Forever''. |
| 36 | -->'''Phelous:''' No fucking shit, Shredder. The dimensional portal sent you to another dimension?\ |
| 37 | '''Shredder:''' Oh, how was I supposed to know that's what the dimensional portal was for? I thought it was used for making ice-cream.\ |
| 38 | '''Phelous:''' ''(disbelief)'' Ohh, ''what an idiot.'' |
| 39 | * The cherry on the cake must go to the episode's [[TheStinger stinger]], however. |
| 40 | -->'''2003 Leonardo:''' It's ''our'' Shredder. He's come here to tear down your world.\ |
| 41 | '''1987 Donatello:''' And he's a grade-A meanie!\ |
| 42 | ''([[ActuallyPrettyFunny Phelous launches into uncontrollable giggling upon hearing that line,]] [[SubvertedTrope but then...]])''\ |
| 43 | '''Phelous:''' What do you know, that giggle ray actually does work. |
| 44 | [[/folder]] |
| 45 | |
| 46 | [[folder:Roller Samurai Vampire Slayers]] |
| 47 | * Instead of a review, Phelous and [[Creator/AllisonPregler Lupa]] work together on making a deliberately bad movie of their own, ''WebVideo/RollerSamuraiVampireSlayers'', which stars the couple as a crack pair of... well, ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. Sorta. Kinda. Almost. |
| 48 | ** Several parts are highly amusing, but the best is when Phelous' character (who's a vampire in disguise) monologues about his past to himself, hoping that his KnightTemplar partner (played by Lupa) won't find him out. Unfortunately, he was talking aloud instead of thinking... and Lupa was right next to him. |
| 49 | *** This scene also allows Phelous to insert unused excerpts of ''Mortal Komedy''. |
| 50 | [[/folder]] |
| 51 | |
| 52 | [[folder:Child's Play 2]] |
| 53 | * When Andy asks if he'll see his mother again: |
| 54 | -->'''Phelous''': Let me check [=IMDB=], honey. *checks Catherine Hicks' [=IMDB=] page* Nope. Your mom doesn't love you and she's never coming back. |
| 55 | * Critic's shit-eating grin after LampshadeHanging his video's recent mid-rolls. |
| 56 | * The BrickJoke reference to Catherine Hicks' role in ''Star Trek IV''. |
| 57 | -->'''Phelous''': What, was she too busy with her precious ''Star Trek'' at the time? |
| 58 | -->'''Critic''': Oh, so ''now'' you remember she was in ''Star Trek IV''. Well, no-- this is long after the ''Star Trek'' movie. |
| 59 | -->'''Phelous''': Really? I thought ''[[Film/HomewardBoundTheIncredibleJourney Homeward Bound]]'' came out after this. |
| 60 | -->'''Critic''': ...who are you?! |
| 61 | * When Chucky smashes Tommy's face in and buries him under the swing. Phelous thinks it's the greatest encounter in the film, ''bar none''. |
| 62 | * The Critic and Phelous swapping bodies at the end...[[spoiler:except it doesn't really work, but the Critic just keeps going on as if he's Phelous anyway, practically making fun of him. The icing on the cake goes to him interrupting the end of the Channel Awesome jingle by screaming the last notes.]] |
| 63 | -->[[spoiler:'''Critic''': *laughs* You should be the one doing this imitation, he sounds more like you!]] |
| 64 | [[/folder]] |
| 65 | |
| 66 | [[folder:Mortal Komedy]] |
| 67 | * Phelous' April Fool's review of his own ''Mortal Komedy'', from start to finish. You could hardly get any more meta, and Phelous milks the concept for all its worth. |
| 68 | [[/folder]] |
| 69 | |
| 70 | [[folder:Killdozer]] |
| 71 | * [[SpecialEffectsFailure "Once upon a time in space there was a strange red ring thing that created a blue floaty piece of styrofoam which went over to a bouncy ball with the earth painted on it, making some rock on there glow blue for a bit, where it awaits contact with a bulldozer..."]] |
| 72 | * Phelous giving the opening of the movie an 80s-style sitcom edit. |
| 73 | * The goofy voice he gives the Killdozer. "KILLDOZER DOES NOT RUN ON FUEL! KILLDOZER CAN RUN ON HATE!" |
| 74 | * '''[=DeForest=] Kelly''': "You stink... You stink..." |
| 75 | * The battle between Killdozer and Life Crane is NarmCharm of the highest degree, and it is hilarious. One wonders if he wasn't channeling ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaSymphonyOfTheNight Symphony Of The Night]]'' with that one. |
| 76 | * The numerous spin-offs that the movie had: Shovkill, Killcill, Flushkill, and Amityville 4. |
| 77 | [[/folder]] |
| 78 | |
| 79 | [[folder:Amityville 4]] |
| 80 | * Phelous's glosses over previous Amityville sequels (though he mentions that the house blew up in both films and somehow got better) because this is the one he's been waiting for; why? '''"EVIL FUCKING LAMP"'''. The movie's absurd enough with having a haunted lamp as the villain, but he makes it even sillier; giving the lamp dialogue. |
| 81 | * ''Every times'' Phelous [[GagDub gives dialogues to the Lamp]]: |
| 82 | -->"[[IncomingHam I AM THE FACE OF THE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP]]!" |
| 83 | -->"[[EvilLaugh YERHAA!]] I am the ULTIMATE POWER! NOTHING CAN'T STOP THE LAMP! .... [[WeaksauceWeakness except a yard sale]]. [[OhCrap Damn it!]]" |
| 84 | -->"Don't laugh at me! I AM EVIL INCARNATE AND I LIGHT UP '''ROOMS''', DAMN IT!!" |
| 85 | -->"Hey! Put me down, damn it! I am the ultimate evil power! FEEEL MY WRATH! THE WRATH OF LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!" |
| 86 | ** Especially hilarious are the exchanges it has with the cat: |
| 87 | --->'''Evil Lamp''': "What do you think YOU are doing, cat?" |
| 88 | --->'''Cat''': "[[BlatantLies Eee.... nothing.]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I wasn't gonna eat that bird or anything...]]" |
| 89 | --->'''Evil Lamp''': "THE BIIIIIRRRRD IS MIIIINE! AHAHAHAHA!" |
| 90 | --->'''Cat''': "Eeee, whatever; [[CatsAreLazy it would have been a lot of effort to get into that cage, anyway]]..." |
| 91 | * Phelous' AlternateCharacterInterpretation that the priests at the beginning of the movie came to all team up and strike back at the house because they were sick of being harassed by flies whenever they came here. |
| 92 | * The scene with the little girl believing the lamp is her father. Cue her mother taking her away: |
| 93 | -->"I don't like the insinuation that I screwed a lamp! You are grounded!" |
| 94 | ** And not too long after |
| 95 | -->'''Mom''': She thinks she was talking to her father |
| 96 | -->'''Grandmother''': Honey, is the lamp her father? |
| 97 | -->'''Mom''': NO! |
| 98 | * Which in turn leads to this in the final confrontation with the lamp: |
| 99 | -->'''Mom''' (after witnessing the lamp using her husband's face): Wow... I really ''did'' marry a lamp, how embarrassing. |
| 100 | -->'''Grandmother''': Well ''I'' never approved of your marriage! (throws the lamp out the window) |
| 101 | * At one point we see the girl's room trashed, with crayon scribbles on the wall. This leads to an imagine spot of the lamp, holding crayons, walking into the room. ''"Ahahahaha! No one will suspect the lamp drew on the wall with crayon! No one suspects the laaaamp, haha!"'' |
| 102 | * ''Riiing'' "Collect call from '''EVIL LAMP'''. Will you accept the charges?" |
| 103 | * The fly's from the first movie make their cameo. |
| 104 | --->'''Fly's''': Hey Amityville sequel and you forgot to tell us the fly's? |
| 105 | --->'''Evil Lamp''': Shut up! Shut up! This is the lamps movie! |
| 106 | * "I can't believe a lamp's killed me! ''BLEH!''" "Yeah, that was pretty pathetic." |
| 107 | [[/folder]] |
| 108 | |
| 109 | [[folder:Man's Best Friend]] |
| 110 | * Phelous completely losing it during the scene where [[SpecialEffectsFailure Max swallows a cat whole.]] |
| 111 | * His utter bafflement over the "Dog-Rape Scene". |
| 112 | * When "Yellow Eyes" tries to give rat poison to Max: |
| 113 | -->'''Phelous!Max''': You made a huge mistake, fellah! Everyone knows rat poison goes horribly with mailman! Rat poison only goes well with annoying parrot! (attacks the parrot) |
| 114 | -->'''Phelous''': Well, at least that parrot wasn't [[Film/AmityvilleTheEvilEscapes roasted alive by a lamp!]] |
| 115 | * "PISSALITY!" |
| 116 | * The exchange between the Puppy and Max: |
| 117 | -->'''Phelous!Puppy''': [[WesternAnimation/PoundPuppiesAndTheLegendOfBigPaw You gotta use your Puppy Power, Max!]] |
| 118 | -->'''Phelous!Max''': I FUCKIN' HATE PUPPY POWER! I'LL KILL YOU! |
| 119 | * Phelous pointing out the villain being killed by a puppy has to be the most embarrassing death ever. Cue a shot of his tombstone reading "Android Heriksen: He survived the killer dog but then a puppy killed him". |
| 120 | [[/folder]] |
| 121 | |
| 122 | [[folder:Aladdin]] |
| 123 | * ''Aladdin'' has several, from the fakeout in which Phelous reveals this isn't the Disney ''Aladdin'' to Phelous mimicking the villain's ("Jafart") poorly animated movements. |
| 124 | * He plays a scene unedited which skips about and cuts randomly due to the poor nature of the film transfer, leading to: |
| 125 | -->'''Phelous''': '''*Calmly*''' Could be a ''LITTLE'' less awk '''*Cut, suddenly raging*''' '''''HELL'S GOING ON HERE?!?!''''' |
| 126 | * When Aladdin's mother frees the genie from the lamp and she faints: |
| 127 | -->'''Genie!Phelous''': I have struck your mother dead, boy. That's a free bonus. |
| 128 | * Phelous' disproportionate rage at having spent 34 cents for Aladdin, while spending just 33 cents for two other films. |
| 129 | --> '''Phelous:''' So, yeah, guess this is a piece of shit, but I got what I paid for! ''(Woody Woodpecker-like laugh)'' |
| 130 | * "Mr. Expalinypants", the obvious TakeThat to [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Doug Walker]] who likes irritating the heck out of Phelous. |
| 131 | -->'''Mr. Explainypants:''' I explain the joke so you don't ha... aaghh! ''(gets dragged off screen)'' |
| 132 | * Him thinking the budget for the film is five bucks. |
| 133 | * His overthinking about audiences of Egypt confused about the setting. |
| 134 | * His comments about the owl. |
| 135 | -->'''Phelous:''' Oh, hey, I didn't know LinkOWLa was in this movie! |
| 136 | [[/folder]] |
| 137 | |
| 138 | [[folder:Blood Rayne]] |
| 139 | * The [[VampireHunter Briemstone Society members]] are so emotionless and bored-looking no matter what they say or do, Phelous keeps referring to them as the "No Shit Society". |
| 140 | * When Kagan is about to absorb the heart to allow him to become a DaywalkingVampire: |
| 141 | -->'''Kagan''': Prepare to witness the beginning of a new era. |
| 142 | -->'''Phelous''': Yeah, a ''single'' vampire will be able to walk in the sunlight, now! [[SarcasmMode New era]]! |
| 143 | [[/folder]] |
| 144 | |
| 145 | [[folder:Blood Rayne 2]] |
| 146 | * Phelous mocking the fact that Rayne apparently has a gift to cause people who team up with her to die. |
| 147 | * This scene from his ''[[Film/BloodRayne BloodRayne 2]]'' review: |
| 148 | -->'''Phelous''' (referring to an annoying reporter character he doesn't like): "Please kill him!!" |
| 149 | --> ''(A picture of the character appears with the words "He doesn't die", followed by Phelous singing "Doodly Derpy Derp DOOP DOOP DOOP" like Kermit the Frog.'') |
| 150 | --> '''Phelous''': *cries* |
| 151 | * "Soooo, Billy the Kid and kids.... yeaaaaaah, don't vampires have laws against this too?" |
| 152 | ** Which leads to this line when Billy flirts with Rayne: |
| 153 | -->"Funny, I didn't think she was your type, Pedi the Kid!" |
| 154 | * The multiple times Phelous mocks Billy's absolutely ridiculous plan: |
| 155 | -->"This plan is about as smart as something Billy the Kid would come up with himself! ({{Beat}}) So yeah, maybe it ''would'' work on him." |
| 156 | -->"That gatling gun was set up by the vampires! Did ''they'' load it with garlic holy water bullets?! This seems like a really stupid plan! ({{Beat}}) Must have been Billy's." |
| 157 | [[/folder]] |
| 158 | |
| 159 | [[folder:Blubberella]] |
| 160 | * ''Blubberella'': |
| 161 | -->'''Creator/ClintHoward''': "Well, fuck my donkey." |
| 162 | -->(Both the original Creator/ClintHoward's lines and Phelous' imitations are hysterical.) |
| 163 | [[/folder]] |
| 164 | |
| 165 | [[folder:In the Name of the King]] |
| 166 | * His review of ''Film/InTheNameOfTheKing'' involves a lot of his jokes being puns based off of Lord of the Rings. And they're all hilarious. |
| 167 | * Phelous annoyance about the characters constantly failing to stop or kill the ''very'' ObviouslyEvil treacherous prince, down to doing nothing to stop him even as he ''shoot arrows at the King in plain sight during a battle''. |
| 168 | * Main character farmer (played by Creator/JasonStatham) is the son of the king (played by Creator/BurtReynolds): |
| 169 | -->'''Phelous!Farmer''': Yeah, [[SarcasmMode I can totally see the family resemblance.]] |
| 170 | [[/folder]] |
| 171 | |
| 172 | [[folder:Child's Play 3]] |
| 173 | * [[HypocriticalHumor The Nostalgia Critic calling Phelous' life a disaster and laughing at him]]. Depending on if this takes place before or after ''Film/ScoobyDoo'', could also be HarsherInHindsight. |
| 174 | * Phelous finally explaining how reviewers in two different places can possibly communicate with one another... which deeply freaks out Critic (and possibly the audience). |
| 175 | * After Critic states he never does meta jokes, he realizes he has Doug Walker's wedding ring on and tries to hide it. |
| 176 | * Remembering the Good Guy CEO's quote from the last review, Critic and Phelous proceed to call him "Mr. Shove-It-Up-Your-Ass." |
| 177 | * This time, Phelous banishes Casper [[spoiler:to the toilet]]. At the end, the Critic goes to use it, [[spoiler:forgetting Casper was banished there]]. |
| 178 | * [[ItMakesSenseInContext MY LIFE IS AN ENDLESS DISAPPOINTMENT]] |
| 179 | * The return of "I have a date with a six-year-old boy." |
| 180 | * This line: |
| 181 | -->'''Chucky''' (on seeing Andy making out with the film's love interest): "Man, I really gotta get out of this body!" |
| 182 | -->'''Phelous!Chucky''': "Then I can be the one kissing Andy." |
| 183 | -->''Cut to an ImagineSpot of Charles Lee Ray kissing Andy'' |
| 184 | * [[UrineTrouble Yellow liquid]] running in front of an image of Harold Whitehurst after he sacrifices himself. |
| 185 | * When it turns out that the giant blade the Grim Reaper at the carnival swings around is ''real'': |
| 186 | -->'''Phelous''': Oh, that's a real blade, is it? [[NoOSHACompliance I think that'd be a safety issue,]] but then again, [[SarcasmMode it's not a safety issue to have six-year-olds running around with no protective gear in war games,]] so what do ''I'' know? |
| 187 | * "This means war." (Chucky then pops out of a WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes drum.) |
| 188 | * Mr. Explainy-Pants explaining the joke about random deaths being funny or not...[[spoiler:then getting shot by the Critic and saying that the joke was irony.]] |
| 189 | [[/folder]] |
| 190 | |
| 191 | [[folder:Rob Zombie's Halloween]] |
| 192 | * The face Phelous makes when Michael Myers "talks" (more like makes a subtitle appearing with sparkly sounds) has to be seen to be believed. |
| 193 | * Phelous playing new Michael's "I'm not listening, AAAAHHH!" line over scenes from the original ''Halloween''. |
| 194 | [[/folder]] |
| 195 | |
| 196 | [[folder:Rob Zombie's Halloween 2]] |
| 197 | * ''"Did you just talked? No! I don't want to hear another word from you. And I sure hope it doesn't happen again!" *Winks*'' |
| 198 | * ''"Besides this is not a remake. This is an original... Pile of Crap."'' |
| 199 | * The first dialog between Child!Michael and his mom. |
| 200 | --> '''Phelous!Child!Michael''': I just feel a little sick after my [[TheOtherDarrin actor change]]. Did we really need more scenes of me? |
| 201 | --> '''Phelous!Rob Zombie's wife''': Of course we did, honey. We need to bring up the stupid [[AnimalMotifs white horse]] shit, because my ghost is gonna show up with one all the time, and it symbolizes stuff, so it's got meaning and shit. Clever, right? |
| 202 | --> '''Phelous''': ''*Completely deadpan*'' No. |
| 203 | * ''"I died so you don't have to~!"'' |
| 204 | * The conversation between Laurie and the psychiatrist: |
| 205 | --> '''Psychiatrist''': Laurie, they never found his body. |
| 206 | --> '''Laurie''': So? |
| 207 | --> '''Phelous!Psychiatrist''': There's no reason to be calm, Laurie. He's still out there. He's going to kill you! You need to panic right now!! |
| 208 | * The scene where Loomis complaints about an old picture of "Old Loomis"... said photo is Donald Pleasence's. |
| 209 | * Loomis declaring Michael Myers is Dead, spelling it "D-E-E-D". |
| 210 | --> '''Phelous''': And we do see in fact Michael Myers IS fucking ''"Deed"'', as the Brawny man replaced him. |
| 211 | * His reaction at Michael [[FanDisservice revealing his leg through a slit in a tunic]], after the line of [[Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow "A Chick dressing as a Dude who wants to be a Chick"]]. |
| 212 | * To illustrate how Laurie [[TookALevelInJerkass has become an obnoxious jerk]] in this sequel, he plays a montage of her more awful moments. It also just so happens to have the "Dog Ending" theme from ''VideoGame/SilentHill2'' playing over it. |
| 213 | * Phelous goes LaughingMad when Michael actually says something ("DIE!") in the movie, then breaks down sobbing until [[SnapBack immediately stopping and saying "It's not that big a deal."]] |
| 214 | [[/folder]] |
| 215 | |
| 216 | [[folder:Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines]] |
| 217 | * Like in the ''Wrong Turn 4'' review, Phelous points out that prequels in these movies will all pretty much be a ForegoneConclusion that they can't die, since despite the constant ContinuitySnarl regarding their backstory, the writers didn't go as far as having the Inbreds rise from their grave. Then he remembers all the times Three-Fingers got an UnexplainedRecovery, and ends up saying they might as well have them rise from their graves at this point. |
| 218 | -->'''Phelous''': Because don't forget, not only are Inbreds the superior species, but they are also a bit magical! |
| 219 | * Upon the movie giving ''yet another'' backstory contradicting the previously established ones by implying Inbred were responsible for decimating ''an entire population'' in 1817, Phelous wonders if this is meant to suggest they are either immortal or part of a long line of Inbreds. |
| 220 | -->'''Phelous''': A long line of Inbreds... yeah, that'd would work out well. [[SincerityMode And I do really mean it'd work out well]] in this movie's bizarre universe, because they seem to imply that fucking your family members is how you get the superior genes! |
| 221 | * Phelous desperately tries to figure out how to make sense of the now four contradicting backstories. The best explanation he can come up with is "time-travelling chemical inbred mutant patients from 1817". |
| 222 | * The main characters turn out to be ''yet again'' generic teenagers going to a party: |
| 223 | -->'''Phelous''': What? [[SarcasmMode I got absolutely nothing to say about that! It's never overdone, I love it!]] |
| 224 | * "Oh, they couldn't even get acting to show up for this movie... that's too bad." |
| 225 | * In the movie's opening kill, Three-Fingers cuts off the news anchor's finger, leading Phelous to think he's trying to create more of his kind. |
| 226 | -->'''Phelous''' (''After Three-Fingers sliced off the anchor's finger while she was FlippingTheBird to him''): That's ''four'' fingers! idiot! Some superior species you are! |
| 227 | * Upon finding out the Inbreds suddenly are with another old man different than Gaz Station Man, Phelous wonders if they are just like Leatherface and keep finding a new family to be with. |
| 228 | * After boasting about how he's been killing and eating people for thirty years and never left anything behind, the new old guy leading the Inbreds almost immediately displays his [[InformedAbility pretended expertise]] by [[TooDumbToLive putting himself in the middle of the road in order to ambush people, almost getting hit by a car in the process]] and [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome being arrested immediately by the cops]] after [[EpicFail getting the crap beaten out of him by the teenagers he was trying to catch]]. On top of this, it's later revealed he ''was'' wanted for murder, [[BlatantLies meaning he didn't even do that good of a job at covering his tracks]]. |
| 229 | -->'''Phelous''': Been doing it for thirty years! [[SarcasmMode He's the Best]]! ({{Beat}})... I usually don't have to do that for the villain. |
| 230 | * The montage of all the evil old guy's over the top, redundant death threats he keeps throwing at the protagonists from his cell. |
| 231 | * Phelous' growing impatience over the characters being completely powerless to fight back against the Inbred, [[RockBeatsLaser even though they are a police station with guns while their opponents are three morons with knives and bows]], not to mention the Inbreds can no go to town and slaughter an entire police station will ''still'' remaining hidden from the public. This leads him to theorize the next movie will be about the Inbred taking on the army with knives and winning: |
| 232 | -->'''Phelous as a soldier''' (''facing Jason''): I've got a shotgun, you stupid freak! (''Jason raises his machete'') OH! A KNIFE! I'M SO STUPID! (''shoots himself'') |
| 233 | ** Then he theorizes Wrong Turn 7 will be about the Inbreds taking over the Moon and blow up Earth with a laser, followed by Wrong Turn 8 having them slaughtering highly advanced aliens with knives |
| 234 | * Phelous summarizes the entire plot of the movie to these three lines on a loop: |
| 235 | -->'''Protagonists''': [[TooDumbToLive Ah! What do we do! We're so stupid]]! |
| 236 | -->'''Old Guy''': Eh eh eh, they are going to kill you! |
| 237 | -->'''Inbreds''': We kill and torture someone! |
| 238 | [[/folder]] |
| 239 | |
| 240 | [[folder:Halloween 6]] |
| 241 | * From his ''Halloween 6'' review: [[spoiler: Michael Myers IS ''Film/{{ThePumaman}}''!]] |
| 242 | * Also in the same review, Phelous's horrified reaction to [[spoiler:[[{{Squick}} Michael Myers being the father of his niece's baby.]]]] |
| 243 | ** Which is then compounded by Michael's [[EvenEvilHasStandards horrified reaction]] and subsequent frantic (yet still silent) denial. |
| 244 | [[/folder]] |
| 245 | |
| 246 | [[folder:TMNT: Coming Out of Their Shells]] |
| 247 | * The duet between Sub-Zero and Phelous to the tune of "You Can Count On Us", with Sub-Zero coming out of nowhere and Phelous telling him to get out of the room. |
| 248 | -->'''Sub-Zero:''' ''(Singing)'' ''I'm Sub-Zero! You can count on me...'' ''(Speaking)'' To be as cold as ice! |
| 249 | -->'''Phelous:''' ''(Singing)'' ''Sub-Zero! You get out right now!'' |
| 250 | -->'''Sub-Zero:''' ''(Singing)'' ''Alright, fi-ine! Because I hate your face!'' ''(Sub-Zero leaves the room)'' |
| 251 | * Phelous trying to play the guitar with a microphone, failing spectacularly. |
| 252 | -->'''Phelous!Michelangelo:''' [[TakeThat I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!]] |
| 253 | * Pointing out how the stage show basically goes against everything the Turtles learned about the art of the ninja. |
| 254 | -->'''[[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1990 Movie Splinter]]:''' You must never stop practicing the art of ninja. The art of...invisibility. |
| 255 | -->'''Phelous Splinter:''' Well, when I said that, I meant "practice the ninjutsu of music!" And by "invisible", I meant "go on fucking stage in front of hundreds of people, and then let yourself be recorded so everyone sees you!" |
| 256 | ** And then Phelous follows it up with the Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}} doing away with the ghost-hunting business and becoming a band. |
| 257 | * Phelous' long reaction to Splinter's "Skipping Stones" song, before finally using his fingers as a cross in horror. |
| 258 | ** And then there's his take on the song by singing about doing his taxes, eating crackers, taking a dump, and then taking a nap. |
| 259 | ** The song in question: ''Doing my taxes! (Doing my taxes...) Gotta check on other debits and credit! (Debits and credit...) And then, afterwards, I'm gonna eat some crackers! (Plain crackers...) Keep on, keep on, keep on... chewing them up! (It takes awhile...) Then, of course, after that, I'm gonna take a dump! (Lots of poo...) Wow, crazy day, I'd better take a nap! (Sleepy-sleep-sleep...)'' |
| 260 | * "Yes, it is I, [[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2014 Colonel Shrader]], and I ''hate'' reviews!" |
| 261 | * "[[SelfDeprecation This costume is almost on par with]] ''[[SelfDeprecation my]]'' [[SelfDeprecation Shredder, and that's sad.]]" |
| 262 | * Raphael performing "Walk Straight": |
| 263 | -->'''Raphael''': You got to walk (walk straight), Talk (talk straight), be (be straight) |
| 264 | -->'''Phelous''': Whoa, whoa, whoa! People are free to live whatever lifestyle they choose, Turtles! |
| 265 | -->'''Raphael''': I say "walk", you say "walk straight", I say "talk", you say "talk straight". You say whatever the Turtles say. |
| 266 | -->'''Phelous''': Why, you fucking bunch of fascists! |
| 267 | * Phelous parodying the visuals of the "Cowabunga" song with "NO" graphics. |
| 268 | * "But before the Turtles can [[WesternAnimation/TurtlesForever call Shredder a grade-A meanie]]..." |
| 269 | * ''SHREDDED!'' |
| 270 | ** This bit when Shredder is insulting the audience: |
| 271 | -->'''Concert!Shredder''': "Cousin? What's the matter, couldn't get a date? |
| 272 | -->'''Phelous!Kid''': [[KissingCousins She]] ''[[KissingCousins is]]'' [[KissingCousins my date!]] |
| 273 | -->'''Phelous!Shredder''': Oh, fuck me! |
| 274 | * Shredder's song about how much he hates music causing [[LogicBomb Baxter Stockman's head explode.]] |
| 275 | * Pointing out how Concert!Shredder killed three people in the concert, making him the most incompetent ''and'' competent version of the character simultaneously. |
| 276 | -->'''Phelous''': Hope you're taking notes, Shredder. |
| 277 | -->'''Phelous!Shredder''': If you disguise it under the dumbest plan in the universe you can get away with murder in a children's concert! |
| 278 | * [[ItMakesSenseInContext Follow Your]] [[ToiletHumor Fart]]. |
| 279 | [[/folder]] |
| 280 | |
| 281 | [[folder:TMNT: Gettin Down in Your Town]] |
| 282 | * From the sequel ''Gettin Down in Your Town'': |
| 283 | -->'''Phelous!Shredder''': (is singing) I love the Technodrome so baaaaaad, it houuuuses everything I love, [[HoYay like Kraaaaang]]- ([[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud immediately stops singing in horror]]) |
| 284 | -->'''Phelous''': '''8O''' |
| 285 | * His spot-on impression of Krang. |
| 286 | * Michelangelo loudly announcing Splinter's death... over and over again. |
| 287 | -->'''Michelangelo''': He's dead! Thank you! He's dead! Thank yooouu! |
| 288 | * "Holy shit! [[SpecialEffectFailure Someone put a bullet right between Leo's eyes]]! WHO KILLED LEONARDO??" |
| 289 | ** "[[MoodWhiplash Who cares?]]" |
| 290 | * Phelous noticing that Leonardo basically became Raphael 2.0. |
| 291 | -->'''Phelous!Leonardo''': SHUT THE FUCK UP I'LL MURDER YOU ''ALLLLLLLLLLL''!! |
| 292 | -->'''Phelous!Kid''': I don't like this concert... |
| 293 | -->'''Phelous!Leonardo''': '''''DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK??!!''''' |
| 294 | -->'''Phelous!Kid''': (sobbing) |
| 295 | ** Then Phelous realizing that Leonardo actually just fucking hates Mikey. |
| 296 | -->'''Phelous!Leo''': I'll never forgive you for [[CallBack fucking me over in Jeopardy]], Michelangelo! |
| 297 | -->'''Phelous!Mikey''': The answer was [[CatchPhrase cowabunga]], dude! I pretty much gave you that! |
| 298 | -->'''Phelous!Leo''': [[NeverMyFault I don't wanna hear it]]! |
| 299 | -->'''Phelous!Don''': Duuudes, we're gonna sort out our ''[[CreativeDifferences issuuuues]]'', we'll be right back! |
| 300 | -->'''Phelous!Kid''': ...[[FlatWhat what]]? |
| 301 | [[/folder]] |
| 302 | |
| 303 | [[folder:The Real Ghostbusters: X-Mas Marks the Spot]] |
| 304 | * The Action-Figure skit, with Ray having busted a cat. |
| 305 | --> '''Phelous!Peter''': You blasting [[WesternAnimation/GarfieldAndFriends this cat]] in particular offends me more than usual[[note]]Peter and Garfield shared the same voice actor, Lorenzo Music[[/note]]. |
| 306 | --> '''Phelous!Ray''': Hey, come on, Pete! We can get some roasted cat over on open fire. |
| 307 | --> ''(Peter blasts him and Garfield pees on him)'' |
| 308 | * "And that's the story of how the Ghostbusters killed Christmas." *cue ''WesternAnimation/TheRealGhostbusters'' end credits* |
| 309 | * "That's right, the ghosts of Christmas get busted! I guarantee you, no other version of A Christmas Carol will have that!" |
| 310 | * His reaction to the tiny bird the butcher gives to the family. |
| 311 | --> "What the hell is that?! A pigeon?! So Cratchit and his family are going to die from fine rat meat? You know, what? That's not even big enough to be a full grown pidgeon. This guy fucking killed a baby pigeon just so he could give Bob Cratchit the smallest fucking bird possible." |
| 312 | --> "And we never see them again after this scene. So yeah, they fucking starved to death. ({{Beat}}) Merry Christmas!" |
| 313 | * Also pointing out that Egon has to risk his molecular structure, when Slimer could get there instead. |
| 314 | --> "Scrooge's anti-Christmas message must have even resonated with the afterlife, as even stupid Slimer also hates it now, which means he's gonna be even more useless than usual! As instead of sending Slimer to get the ghosts back for them, Egon has to risk altering his molecular structure to that of a ghost so he can go find them." |
| 315 | --> (Deadpan) "Yeah, almost like you can go instead, you stupid sack of shit." |
| 316 | --> "Yeah! Get sucked in, Slimer! Oh, damn." |
| 317 | [[/folder]] |
| 318 | |
| 319 | [[folder:Sonic Christmas Blast]] |
| 320 | * The [[StylisticSuck title card]] from the ''WesternAnimation/SonicChristmasBlast'' episode. |
| 321 | * Phelous dubbing over Scratch's lines (and especially his laugh). |
| 322 | * The constant game overs. |
| 323 | * Santa Claus' pessimistic defeatism triggering the ending credits at least four times. |
| 324 | * In slow-mo: "'''ROBOTNIK, [[BigNo NOOOOOOOO]][[SlowNo OOOOOOOOO!]]'''" |
| 325 | [[/folder]] |
| 326 | |
| 327 | [[folder:Super Mario Christmas]] |
| 328 | * From the [[WesternAnimation/SuperMarioBrosSuperShow Super Mario Christmas]] [[WesternAnimation/SuperMarioWorld double feature]] review, Phelous [[WhatTheHellHero repeatedly calls out Toad]] for caring more about the snowboard Princess Toadstool gave him than his own friends. |
| 329 | ** And when he finally got fed up with his absolute selfishness throughout the special, he revealed Toad's "true form": [[spoiler: [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler a square mustache]], complete with a "Dun-Dun-DUUUNNN!" ScareChord.]] Which is then followed by a scene of Toad interrogating someone in German. This makes Phelous apologize to his German viewers, saying [[EvenNerdsHaveStandards how they shouldn't have to deal with Toad either.]] |
| 330 | * "If you do drugs, you go to Hell before you die. Please." |
| 331 | * Stating that he hopes that Nintendo never gave Yoshi a baby mentality again. Cue clip from ''VideoGame/YoshisStory'' |
| 332 | -->'''Phelous:''' ''(shaking his fist)'' '''Damn you, Yoshi...!''' |
| 333 | * His reaction to the bug-eyed cave children. |
| 334 | ** The ending where [[spoiler:he gets a mushroom cap, much to his horror.]] This is followed by end credits consisting of various characters dancing to "Do The Mario". |
| 335 | * Phelous expresses his love of Bowser's plan: to blow Santa up. |
| 336 | -->'''Santa:''' ''(as Bob-ombs fall from the sky)'' '''Ho-ho-holy shit!''' |
| 337 | * When Yoshi cries out while trying to save one of the cave children that Santa!Mario needs to go on a diet (and the latter balks at the idea): |
| 338 | -->'''Santa!Mario:''' I'd rather let all the cave people die [[SkewedPriorities than to give up my extra cheese pizzas, Yoshi!]] |
| 339 | * Phelous' [[FreakOut reaction]] to the music during the chase scene. |
| 340 | [[/folder]] |
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