1 | [[center: [-[[Characters/AwfulHospital Main Character Index]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheMotherAndHerSon The Mother And Her Son]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalCompanionsOfTheMother Companions Of The Mother]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheHospitalStaff The Hospital Staff]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheHospitalPatients The Hospital Patients And Visitors]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalBurgrrIncPersonnel Burgrr Inc. Personnel]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheAbyss The Abyss]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheMorgue The Morgue]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheLibrary The Library]] | '''The Cafe''' | [[Characters/InertSubConceptVesselMG0908BNSKHL3900438093990 Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheWorms The Worms]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheParliament The Parliament]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheDolphins The Dolphins]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalUnaffiliatedEntities Unaffiliated Entities]]]]-] |
2 | |
3 | [[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bigcafe.png]] |
4 | [[caption-width-right:350:Thirsty?]] |
5 | |
6 | Beings who dwell within The Cafe zone. |
7 | [[foldercontrol]] |
8 | ---- |
9 | |
10 | [[folder: Chip]] |
11 | [[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/chip.png]] |
12 | [[caption-width-right:350:What can he get you?]] |
13 | |
14 | --> '''Chip''': M-m-mocha, eh? N-n-n-no p-p-roblemo! |
15 | |
16 | A barista of Fluid State Comestibles Incorporated, [[note]](which appears to be completely unaffiliated with Burgrr, Inc.)[[/note]] who works in a cafe right outside the lobby of Dr. Tori's surgical ward. |
17 | |
18 | SPECIAL NOTE: For tropes relating to Chip ''after'' [[spoiler: his Q-36 Procedure,]] please click [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheHospitalStaff here.]] |
19 | |
20 | ---- |
21 | |
22 | * AnthropomorphicPersonification: Of baristas. Serving coffee, making the occasional mistake, and apologizing for said mistakes, are crucial for Cafe performance throughout the [[LayeredWorld Perception Range]]. [[spoiler:He isn't the original. The Parliament somehow forced him to take the job. He is quite relieved when he gets to return to his former position.]] |
23 | * CityInABottle: Flair really doesn't let Chip leave his post… |
24 | -->'''Chip''': s-so... while we're asking q-q-questions.... ww-w-what's it l-like out there in the non c-c-c-cafe z-zones, anyway?\ |
25 | '''Fern''': Oh... uh... it's... well... something. It's. Something.\ |
26 | '''Chip''': [[SincerityMode W-wow!]] That m-must be p-p-pretty n-neat! |
27 | * CosmicKeystone: Believe it or not, Chip is this for the Cafe. |
28 | * ITasteDelicious: He's well aware of this, and freely offers what amounts to his lifeblood to any customer who'd ask for it... though WordOfGod insists that he never drinks his own mocha. |
29 | -->'''Commentator''': Ironically he doesn't drink coffee.\ |
30 | '''Bogleech''': For him, that would be like drinking human blood, yeah. |
31 | * MajorInjuryUnderreaction: When pouring mocha from his own head into a normal cup, Chip screams out the sort of bloodcurdling shriek a human would give, if he were stabbing his own brain. Then he presents the cup to his customer with a merry "Enjoy!" |
32 | * {{Mascot}}: During his time as the barista, they had [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/481.html a drawing of Chip's head]] on the canopy over the Cafe's entrance. |
33 | * NervousWreck: Between the stammering and jittering and all the cracks in his head, it probably won't be long until he shatters completely. |
34 | * NonHumanHead: He has a badly cracked coffee mug for a head. Notably, this isn't actually attached to his body -- he manually holds it a bit above where his neck would be. |
35 | * PassingTheTorch: Chip '''very desperately''' wants out of his job. But he can't just leave; Dr. Tori must get someone else to replace him. |
36 | -->'''Chip's Memo To Tori''': I KNOW YOU SAID YOU JUST DON'T HAVE ANY DONORS I'D BE INTERESTED IN SWAPPING WITH, BUT I JUST REALLY NEED A BREAK FROM THIS POSITION. I'LL TAKE ANYTHING. I REALLY DON'T CARE. |
37 | * PowerUpFood: It's a one-time only deal, but Chip's mocha allowed Fern to ''level up,'' from Level 10 to 11. |
38 | * PunnyName: Actually, Chip's far more "cracked" than chipped. [[spoiler:And now he's a computer chip.]] |
39 | * YouGetMeCoffee: Or whatever else you'd care to wet your throat with. |
40 | [[/folder]] |
41 | |
42 | [[folder: Flair]] |
43 | [[quoteright:100:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/icon_badge.png]] |
44 | [[caption-width-right:100:A smile like that really makes you want to tip your barista...]] |
45 | |
46 | !!!!!![[caption-width-right:375: [[labelnote: Are you sure you want to click this?]]https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/flair.png[[/labelnote]]]] |
47 | [[caption-width-right:375:[[spoiler: Service with way too many smiles!]]]] |
48 | |
49 | --> '''Flair''': Chiiip, you're not bothering customers with your job-irrelevant thoughts again, are you? |
50 | |
51 | The boss of the Cafe; a button pinned to the front of whoever's serving as barista. |
52 | ---- |
53 | * AdmiringTheAbomination: She adores dolphins for being so thoroughly evil. |
54 | * AmbitionIsEvil: No matter why she's turning Slobs into her [[SlaveMooks puppets,]] it's clear it's for her own evil sake. |
55 | * AxCrazy: It seems she's killed before, and would gladly do so again, except that profits come first. |
56 | -->'''Joe''': COME ON, FLAIR, DON'T YOU EVER GET THE URGE TO JUST... ''NNNNNGGGGG''... JUST....' 'CUSTOMERS''.... I DON'T KNOW, JUST, JUST ''RRRRRIP 'EM IN HALF?!''\ |
57 | '''Flair''': Well of ''course,'' but it's unfortunately proven... unprofitable. Work before fun, sugar. |
58 | * BeingPersonalIsntProfessional: As her pull quote shows. She offers Fern a free drink of her choice for Chip's faux pas; Fern later made good on this offer after Joe takes over. |
59 | * BigBrotherIsWatchingYou: Having Flair literally pinned to your front doesn't leave you with much room for privacy, if you work as her employee. |
60 | * BlatantLies: She gives Eyeslob a bottle of "safe tea", which contains something that looks an awful lot like Flair as a PuppeteerParasite. His [[Expositron9000 infoid larvus]] [[https://bogleech.com/awfulhospital/780.html quickly confirms]] that it's hazardous. |
61 | * ItIsDehumanizing: |
62 | -->'''Flair''': I'm so ''terribly'' sorry, miss. Our employee apparently thinks customers want to hear ''its'' problems. |
63 | * {{Greed}}: Flair continuously grows [[{{Flanderization}}more and more outspoken]] about how she feels your life is only worth sparing if you got money to spend. |
64 | -->'''Joe''': PLEASE CHOKE TO DEATH.\ |
65 | '''Flair''': Now, sugarmush, we talked about this. Not until after we have all their money. |
66 | * MeanBoss: Seriously, ''you'' try working for a boss that compels you to painfully pour your own cranial fluids for complimentary customer consumption, and never lets you leave your job site. |
67 | ** Subverted with Joe, however. [[WordOfGod As Bogleech himself put it]], she and Joe have a lot more in common. In any case, she's a lot more patient with Joe than she ever was with Chip and even calls Joe by pet names like "dear" and "sugar". |
68 | * MeaningfulName: 'Flairs' are decorations which people like baristas are obligated to wear as part of their uniform. |
69 | * MesACrowd: All Cafe employees get Flair badges pinned to their front. |
70 | * [[MisterBig Miss Big]]: She's pretty large for a ''badge.'' Subverted later; once Flair is shown through Eyeslob's point of view. |
71 | * MoreThanMeetsTheEye: Flair's not just a bunch of badges, she's actually a huge parasitic lifeform hanging from the Cafe's ceiling, with her tendrils implanted in every one of her workers. |
72 | * PetTheDog: Amazingly, she [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/884.html actually gave Joe a layer break as a reward for good behavior and told Fern to scram and leave him alone.]] Which might not seem like much but given who we're dealing with, is generous by her standards. One has to wonder if Chip ever had such luck. |
73 | * PuppeteerParasite: She [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/778.html controls her workers]] by feeding them a "safe tea" infested with a parasitic larva of herself. It's assumed that after swallowing it, this larva matures and connects its host to Flair's main body in the Cafe. |
74 | * SlasherSmile: Instead of '[[https://helanefronekmd.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/screen-shot-2015-02-28-at-11-29-09-am.png Don't Worry, Be Happy,]]' her grin is best described as 'Be Worried, TOO Happy!' |
75 | * TheStarscream: Claims to be a member of the [[BigBadDuumvirate Parliament,]] but it's clear she actually wants to take them over for herself. |
76 | * SkewedPriorities: You might almost wonder if there the Cafe has a demographic which responds ''positively'' when baristas like Joe tell them, "I hate you." At least he pushes the club card on them! |
77 | %%* HypnoticCreature: Very curious, how Fern felt compelled to empty all her money into The Cafe's tip jar, shortly after drinking that 'free' mocha. |
78 | * TookALevelInJerkass: Not that Flair was all that great to begin with, but [[http://bogleech.com/awfulhospital/bigcafe.png after Joe joined her team,]] she put "SCRAM" and "ORDER AND GET OUT" in big letters right for all the Cafe's customers to see! |
79 | [[/folder]] |
80 | |
81 | [[folder: Joe]] |
82 | [[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/coffeejoe.png]] |
83 | [[caption-width-right:350:You'd be better off drinking the [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} Neurotoxin]] than his Blackish Foam.]] |
84 | -->'''Joe''': WELCOME. TO THE CAFE. I HATE YOU FOR SOME REASON.\ |
85 | '''Flair''': Now, Joe, we've talked about this.\ |
86 | '''Joe''': Y...YES MA'AM. WELCOME TO THE CAFE. I HATE YOU. FOR SOME REASON. ASK. ABOUT OUR CLUB CARD.\ |
87 | '''Flair''': See, was that so hard? |
88 | |
89 | Chip's foul-tempered replacement. |
90 | '''Special Note:''' For tropes relating to the man Joe used to be ''before'' [[spoiler: his Q-36 Procedure,]] please click [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheParliament here.]] |
91 | ---- |
92 | * AdmiringTheAbomination: He talks about how a dolphin painfully ripped apart his previous self into bloody pieces and gushes at how cool it was, wishing he could be a dolphin too. |
93 | * AnthropomorphicPersonification: Ends up taking the role of personification of baristas from Chip. Baristas range wide will probably be ruder as a result. |
94 | * AxCrazy: Whatever sanity he had back when he was [[spoiler: Jay]] the human seems gone now. |
95 | -->'''Joe''': COME ON, FLAIR, DON'T YOU EVER GET THE URGE TO JUST...''NNNNNGGGGG''... JUST.... ''CUSTOMERS''.... I DON'T KNOW, JUST, JUST ''RRRRRIP 'EM IN HALF?!'' |
96 | * BrutalHonesty: "I hate you for some reason," "Choke to death forever," and other such pleasantries. |
97 | * {{CAPSLOCK}}[=/=]WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma: JOE SPEAKS HIS. DIALOGUE THIS WAY WITH WEIRD. PERIOD PLACEMENT. PROBABLY AS A RESULT OF. ALL THE COFFEE THAT NOW SERVES AS HIS. BLOOD. |
98 | * CosmicKeystone: Joe inherited all the responsibility of being this from Chip. Meaning Flair's not letting him leave the Café anytime soon. |
99 | * DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: There's a distinct possibility he enjoys being the barista... [[http://bogleech.com/awfulhospital/cuppajoe3.png a little too much.]] |
100 | * FatherOfAThousandYoung: Joe still suffers from his slob condition, even after [[spoiler: the Q-36 Procedure.]] However, Flair has no problem subduing all of Joe's "young," slapping Flair badges on their bodies, and adding them to the Cafe's workforce. |
101 | * GoingNative: The fact that he now uses non-Earth time measurements would seem to suggest this. |
102 | -->'''Joe''': FOR A QUASISPIRAL ONLY, EVERY DRINK INCLUDES A COMPLEMENTARY SAMPLE OF OUR BRAND. NEW. HOUSE FLAVOR. |
103 | * ITasteDelicious: Fern and her Commentators certainly don't think this at all about the Blackish Foam inside Joe's head-cup. |
104 | -->''The only thing you're certain of is that this will never enter your mouth.'' |
105 | * LaserGuidedAmnesia: It's unknown whether [[spoiler: his Q-36 Procedure]] was slightly botched, or whether Flair subjected him to a memory wipe, but Joe doesn't seem to recall his old life as [[spoiler: Jay.]] Nonetheless, he instinctively hates Fern on sight. |
106 | * LethalChef: Joe's Blackish Foam is outright poisonous to EVERYTHING. [[spoiler: When Willis soaked the Bandages with Blackish Foam during Team Green's fight with Dr. Man, not only did it corrupt the Bandages' healing ability into a ''harming'' ability, but he eventually [[DeathIsASlapOnTheWrist died from it]]. He still holds a grudge against Fern after being brought back to life.]] |
107 | -->[[spoiler: '''Dr. Man''': His previous vessel... turned. He has had no difficulty adjusting to a replacement, as you have done innumerable times yourself, though he found your tactics... distasteful... and has articulated... colorful... opinions of your character.]] |
108 | * MascotVillain: As with everything else, Joe assumed all of Chip's old mascot duties; his mug is over all the [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/648.html Cafe's]] [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/734.html canopies.]] |
109 | * MorphicResonance: Even after his change, Joe is lanky thin, and although his body no longer has the "bacterial" pattern [[spoiler: Jay]] had, Joe wears a blue-colored uniform and his cup-head is also blue. Even the neck brace [[spoiler: Jay]] was wearing during his final life cycle "translated" to one of those "HOT! CAUTION!" covers that coffee shops put on their disposable coffee cups. |
110 | * NonHumanHead: His head is a styrofoam cup attached to his body with a neck brace. |
111 | * PoisonousPerson: As mentioned above, the Blackish Foam which Joe naturally produces... isn't fit for consumption. |
112 | * PunnyName: Because it's apparently unacceptable for any Café worker's name to NOT be a coffee-themed pun. |
113 | * RedeemingReplacement: [[InvertedTrope Nope.]] Between Chip and Joe, Chip was the better barista, and his mocha will be missed. |
114 | * StaticRoleExchangeableCharacter: To quote WordOfGod: "[[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/649.html ...it could]] have been far, far worse for [[spoiler: Jay.]] SOME-body has to be the Barista, anyhow." |
115 | * SwappedRoles: [[spoiler: Jay]] was swapped into Chip's role and species. |
116 | * UnCoffee: His head fluid is "Blackish Foam", a grey slop that stinks like melted tires mixed with congealed bacon grease. It's apparently some Zone's version of coffee. |
117 | * TheUnsmile: What a grimace! |
118 | * UnholyMatrimony: It may not be 'matrimony,' but WordOfGod says Joe and Flair ''are'' an item together! |
119 | --> '''Bogleech''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/756.html Fan canons]] already existed that they had a relationship like that and it really [[AscendedFanon only seems natural.]] Joe[[spoiler:/Jay]] is that type of person who practically craves being miserable and will jump on the tiniest excuse to hate someone and complain about something, while Flair is a power-crazed greedy parasite. Together, they each make the other feel very fulfilled, but also keep each other from really bothering anybody else. |
120 | * WalkingSpoiler: His existence pretty much spoils what [[spoiler: Jay becomes post operation]]. |
121 | * WasOnceAMan: Joe was once [[spoiler: Jay]]. |
122 | [[/folder]] |
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