History WebVideo / WhatTheFuckIsWrongWithYou

* AnAesop: Many, including:
** Nothing is hot in the Walmart. [[spoiler:Except when someone lights the fireworks display.]]
** No one wants to see your dick.
** That doesn't go there./Your vagina and your ass are not pockets. Also, don't stick guns there.
** Just watch porn (instead of getting your kicks through weird, creepy, criminal behaviour).
** The old drugs still work. (As opposed to "What happens if I snort drain cleaner?")
** Guns are not a remote control for life.
** Stuff posted on the internet is there forever.
** Never clamber onto a dead carcass. (lesser-known)
** You are NOT special.
** Poop is never a plan.
** Stupid plans will never impress women. (Addendum: If a woman ''is'' impressed by your stupid plans, words or actions, she is not someone you want to be around.)
** It's alright to have fetishes, but don't force yours on others!
** Never, ever, ''ever'' let the Internet make choices concerning your brand, your products, or anything with your company's name on it.
** Don't believe in conspiracies.
** If there's anything you want to fuck (objects such as kid playgrounds, doors or fences), don't do it in the open, buy your own and have fun with it at home.
** "You know what's worse than [petty argument or reason someone just committed a crime over]? Prison." Or, alternately, "You know what's more expensive than [petty argument or cheapskate behavior that led to a crime]? Bail / A lawyer" or "you know where they ''don't'' have [commonly available item you attempted to steal or over which you committed a crime because you could not acquire it]? Prison."
** Life is not VideoGame/GrandTheftAuto. The cops won't stop chasing you if you reach your house. "They gon' ''find you''."
** For advertisers: Put a (pre)teenager on your teams. If they start giggling at one of your ideas, go back to the drawing board.
** '''''<video game title>''''' is not a LARP!
** Watch your ''damn'' '''''kids!'''''
** If you're in public, you're on camera, whether you know it or not.
** Archaeologists: if you happen to find a cool mask, weapon, piece of jewellery or other artefact in an ancient tomb, temple, palace or other building, '''''put it the fuck back'''''. We already have one plague, we can't afford another curse out there!
** ''Don't fuck with the bingo grannies.''
** Being right doesn't matter, it's not an excuse for you to do whatever you want.
** Your ex is not worth jail.
** 911 is not customer service.
** Rule #1 of going outside is ''put on some pants first''.
** "Stop, you won!" (Used when an irate customer gets their way, yet decides to take things further with criminal behavior)

--->'''Tara:''' And let's picture your first day in the yard. 'What are you in for?' 'Grand theft auto.' 'What are you in for?' 'Aggravated assault.' [[RuleOfThree 'What about you?']] ''({{Beat}})'' '[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers I robbed a lemonade stand,]] stole some money from some kids.' [[EvenEvilHasStandards Guess who's getting his shit kicked in?]]