History WarpThatAesop / StarWars

* The best way to honor a dead family is to bury their weapons on a planet that every single one of them hated. Bonus points if you bury them in sand and one of them [[MemeticMutation doesn't like sand]]. But only bury the blue ones, not the green one. Green sucks.

* Being conscripted in infancy to become operatives for the political elite and prop up a corrupt, failing state is okay. A life of being trained how to kill from the time you can walk, dragged through natural and unnatural disasters, crime scenes, and sentient rights abuses (and having the look the other way on most of the suffering because you have to prop up the ''state'', not care for the people) won't cause any trouble. Having to kill or be killed from your early teens, racking up at least a three digit body count by the time you're twenty (someone actually did the math on Ahsoka), and using the life energy of the universe as a weapon...THAT'S all well and good and serving the Light. But wanting something closer than "work friends," writing your family, or wanting something more emotionally imitate than a trip to the brothel (which is a-ok! Sex is fine but Attachment Bad!) is what's going to send you into frying kittens and cutting down schoolkids...

* A good hearted peasant offers you her help? Sure, go and eat her food, crash on her sofa, and take her only child to groom intoi your fabled living weapon. Just don't do anything to help her because SHE isn't important.
* The most compassionate course of action for a nine year old boy rescued from human trafficking is to leave his mom qith the traffickers, haul him away from everyone and everything he knows, lock him in a room with a dozen creepy old men who interrogate him for hours, and then scold him as evil for daring to admit he's scared, homesick, and worried for mom. He needs to be properly stoic and let go of his mom on command if he's to be your ultimate anti-Sith killer, after all!

* Killing is wrong...unless you're the one doing it. Same with [[MindRape]] on petty drug dealers and mooks.

* Killing is wrong...unless you're the one doing it.

* Being conscripted in infancy to become operatives for the political elite and prop up a corrupt, failing state is okay. A life of being trained how to kill from the time you can walk, dragged through natural and unnatural disasters, crime scenes, and sentient rights abuses (and having the look the other way on most of the suffering because you have to prop up the ''state'', not care for the people). Having to kill or be killed from your early teens, racking up at least a three digit body count by the time you're twenty (someone actually did the math on Ahsoka), and using the life energy of the universe as a weapon...THAT'S all well and good and serving the Light. But wanting something closer than "work friends," writing your family, or wanting something more emotionally imitate than a trip to the brothel (which is a-ok! Sex is fine but Attachment Bad!) is what's going to send you into frying kittens and cutting down schoolkids...

* Falling in love automatically turns headstrong, capable {{Action Girl}}s into whiny, demure [[DamselInDistress
distressed damsels]]. Just look at Padme (and Leia, to a much lesser extent).

* Falling in love automatically turns headstrong, capable {{Action Girl}}s into whiny, demure {{Distressed Damsel}}s. Just look at Padme (and Leia, to a much lesser extent).

* Keep people in the military from developing long term relationships, it could always lead to TheDarkSide by way of LoveMakesYouEvil. Casual sexual affairs are okay though!

* Need someone to rule your world? Elect fourteen year old girls and call them queens! Find a dozen other fourteen year old girls as assassination bait!

* The best way to let a guy know you're don't want a relationship with him is to show a lot of skin and spend tons of time alone with him in scenic locales and in darkened rooms lit by fireplaces.

* Only Sith deal in extremes. Unless you're a Jedi saying that particular sentence, which happens to be an extreme generalization of both Siths and people who deal in extremes, then its okay.

* Sure, delay a soldier who has been tasked to carry out a solo mission. Wither his patience away until he snaps, then you've got the right to say that he or she has no patience and thus do not deserve your help.

* If someone who's trying to kill you tells you he's your father without any sort of evidence to back it up, take his word for it. It's not like he might be trying to mess with your head or anything.

* Related, if one of your subordinate officers is getting ''insubordinate'' to the point where he is ''openly questioning your authority'', the best course of action is to simply ignore him and hope that he goes away. Maybe throw in some snarky comments to let people know you're still in charge. Actually nipping the problem in the bud by either throwing him in the brig or including him and the rest of your officer team in on your plan just seems rash. After all, it's not like he could persuade any of your staff to mutiny, sabotage your plans, or heaven forbid, that any of your other staff might feel the same way as he does. As they say in ''Film/OfficeSpace'', these kinds of things just work themselves out naturally without you having to do anything at all.

* If you spent most of your life committing evil acts all you need to do is feel bad about it, do one or two good deeds, then die.

* Sand is bad because “it’s rough and coarse and it gets everywhere”.

* Clone slaves? Sending a boy to assassinate his father (who you [[KansasCityShuffle told actually killed his father]])? You still get to go to transparent-blue-heaven.

** Your uncle is trying to keep you from the war despite you being TheChosenOne who can end things and bring peace everywhere? Even ''if'' he simply wants to keep you safe, he is still in the wrong for doing so (debatable at best). If he gets killed? His death should be considered sad and unjust...but you should still get over it after a short while and consider yourself liberated, because now you can help fight the good fight.

! The Phantom Menace

! Attack of the Clones

! Revenge of the Sith

! Rogue One

! A New Hope

* It's okay to postpone doing The Right Thing until you have nothing else better to do. Want to go Fight The Good Fight, but Uncle needs you to help around the farm? No prob, whatevs, just wait for the cosmic calendar to realign itself to '''your''' timetable.
** Alternately: If you do not fight against evil-- ALL evil, EVERYWHERE-- immediately, it will come to your house and kill the only family you've ever known. So get on that.
** Another alternative: Your uncle is trying to keep you from the war despite you being TheChosenOne who can end things and bring peace everywhere? Even ''if'' he simply wants to keep you safe, he is still in the wrong for doing so (debatable at best). If he gets killed? His death should be considered sad and unjust...but you should still get over it after a short while and consider yourself liberated, because now you can help fight the good fight.

! The Empire Strikes Back

** Alternative interpretation: you need to develop a supernatural power that allows you to "search your feelings" to magically know whether a statement is true ''just in case'' someone who's trying to kill you says he's your father.

! Return of the Jedi

! The Force Awakens
* On the run from a terrorist organisation? Don't worry, enough implausible coincidences will occur within a short period of time that will work to your advantage with minimum effort on your part.

! The Last Jedi

** Refusing a recall order just because your forces are already irretrievably committed to the attack and will be massacred if they attempt to withdraw means you're arrogant and rash. Issuing said order marks you as compassionate and wise.

! The Rise of Skywalker