History Series / Burnistoun

* AnythingThatMoves: Invoked humorously in a sketch featuring the fictional hip hop duo Devine and Romaine rapping about all of the various people (and items) that they can put into their "wank bank", including--but not limited to--random young women out in public, sausage rolls, car exhaust pipes, Creator/MikeTyson, and each other.
-->''"Ain't no legal drama in the wank bank''
-->''Gonna ruin some socks on you..."''

* CatchPhrase:
** "For Real," by Jolly Boy John.
** "''Excuse'' me??" for Kelly [=McGlade=].
** Joe and Barry, the two staunchly working-class StraightGay men from the third season, have a habit of yelling that they'll go "up 'eh road!" when they've been offended by something.

** "''Excuse'' me?" for Kelly [=McGlade=].

* SeparatedByACommonLanguage: One sketch features two guys traveling in a new, voice-activated elevator-- which has an American accent. The automated system is unable to understand their Scottish accents, and they try impressions of various accents, to no avail.

* GrandpaGod: A fair number of sketches feature God in the form of a glowing, robed, white-bearded old man. He's generally a pretty cool fellow who enjoys some good patter, although he disapproves of DJ Jesus's mixes of life on earth.
* HowsYourBritishAccent: Subverted and parodied in a sketch about a Scottish actor who made it big in Hollywood. In the sketch, the actor uses his Scottishness to woo a woman, but he speaks with a watered-down, Americanized accent. A passerby approaches and proceeds to criticise his accent and use of American slang like "buddy" instead of what you'd use "wi' yer da or uncle." At the end of the sketch, the interloper with the authentic Glasgwegian accent gets the girl.
* FluffyCloudHeaven: DJ Jesus lives in a land in the sky surrounded by clouds, where his [[GrandpaGod white-bearded father, God]] also lives.

* EscalatingWar: A recurring gag sees two unnamed friends hanging around the house, at which point one does or says something that slightly annoys the other. The two begin arguing, gradually becoming verbally abusive to a ridiculous degree. For example, one wishes death on the other, followed by the other wishing death on his friend's entire family.
** Eventually, it always is revealed that one friend has gotten a gift for the other and now is too hurt to give it to him, walking out of the room angrily. The other friend, upon realizing this kind gesture, breaks down in tears. The gifts are always emblazoned with some message commemorating the strength of their friendship, which are always misspelled (i.e. "Palmsobile" instead of "Palsmobile"--for ''pals only'').

--> Voice recognition technology? In a lift? In [b]Scotland[/b]? Ye ever tried voice recognition technology?

* ArchEnemy: Big Sanny Tolan's Boy is Doberman Man's greatest enemy, and Doberman Man invests the majority of his time trying to chase him down. While Burnistoun has plenty of actual criminals, Big Sanny Tolan's Boy was Doberman Man's school bully, and Doberman Man's quest to stop him is based more on his personal vengeance than any actual threat he poses to the city.
* AwLookTheyReallyDoLoveEachOther: While Paul and Walter are almost always at each other's throats, in the last episode of Series 2 they take a break from fighting and bond over a childhood game and their dead mother's memory. [[spoiler: And then they are killed when their van rolls into the sea.]]
* BatmanParody: Doberman Man, a dog-themed superhero with a growl, cape, and costume that resembles Batman. Unlike Batman, Doberman Man seems more concerned with getting back at his school bullies than fighting crime.

* BrickJoke: Often a feature of the longer, more complex Paul and Walter sketches. For example, in one, a line about Walter's apparently debilitating fear of Jools Holland seems come out of nowhere until it plays a large role in the punchline.

* DaydreamSurprise: In the first sketch of the first series, a man named Gordon Belford is harassed by a pair of thugs who threaten to pull a knife on him. He responds by chucking a bottle of ginger ale at them and perfectly hits one in the head. This leads to him being featured on a TV programme and making it into the Guinness Book of World Records. At the end of the sequence, this is revealed to be in his imagination, and when he actually tries to chuck the bottle of ginger he dumps it all over himself instead.

** Eventually, it is revealed that one friend has gotten a gift for the other and now is too hurt to give it to him, walking out of the room angrily. The other friend, upon realizing this kind gesture, tears up. The gifts are always emblazoned with some message commemorating the strength of their friendship, which are always misspelled (i.e. "Palmsobile" instead of "Palsmobile"--for ''pals only'').

--> '''Calvin Brogue, MSMPS for Burnistoun North''': Well now, well now, we all had a good laugh at the charity ball last night, when Mr. Coughlin's wife Marge complained about having pins and needles in her feet. What does she expect? Every hour Mr. Coughlin is in London, she spends with her legs in the air, yes...having sex with men!

* EverythingIsAnInstrument: A recurring gag is a tension-filled situation (i.e. someone encountering hoodlums destroying his car) turning into a musical mashup of rhythmic sounds, which turns out to be being actively mixed by DJ Jesus in heaven.

** A recurring gag in Series 3 deconstructs this. In the sketches, a rowdy-looking fan of the Burnistoun United football team attempts to come up with rude songs to sing at the opposing team, but tends to make them overly nice and polite instead. His friends always make fun of him for this until he changes them to be more offensive.

* HowsYourBritishAccent: Subverted and parodied in a sketch about a Scottish actor who made it big in Hollywood. In the sketch, the actor uses his Scottishness to woo a woman, but he speaks with basically an insanely watered-down, Americanized accent. A passerby approaches and proceeds to criticise his accent and use of American slang like "buddy" instead of what you'd use "wi' yer da or uncle." At the end of the sketch, the interloper with the authentic Glasgwegian accent gets the girl.

** Invoked literally in a sketch where a man attempts to sell a "denim jaisket" (denim jacket) to a customer at a garage sale for 500 pounds, despite the fact that it is a ''child's'' jacket. And the customer buys it, in an attempt to recapture his own glory days.

* ObviouslyEvil: The Burnistoun Butcher is an extremely creepy-looking guy with packing tape all over his face who wears a blood-soaked t-shirt and a trenchcoat. Everything about his appearance screams serial killer, but despite his publicly admitting to being one nobody pays him any attention.

* TuxedoAndMartini: A series of sketches feature a James Bond parody. He's English and Tuxedo-clad, and is assigned various dangerous missions and has women with PunnyNames fawning all over him. His main shtick is making lame double entendres, then pointing his gun at the camera and winking.
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist: Kelly [=McGlade=], the main character and narrator of a series of sketches focused on her. She's arrogant, self-absorbed, and cruel to her fellow band-mates who depend on her, and ends up physically fighting someone almost every time she appears. However, someone else usually gets the better of her by the end of each sketch, though she never admits it.

** Series 3 has a series of sketches about a Scottish history programme. The show features a stereotypical wild highlander with a long red beard talking about famous historical battles, but he gets carried away and ends up violently re-enacting them by himself, assaulting unfortunate English tourists who happen to be around in the process.

** Eventually, it is revealed that one friend has gotten a gift for the other and now is too hurt to give it to him, walking out of the room angrily. The other friend, upon realizing this kind gesture, begins crying. The gifts are always emblazoned with some message detailing the power of their friendship, and the messages are always misspelled (i.e. "Palmsobile" instead of "Palsmobile"--for ''pals only'').

* Scott and Peter, a pair of lower-class friends who hang out and have SeinfeldianConversation{{s}} and other SliceOfLife antics.

* HowsYourBritishAccent: Subverted and parodied in a sketch about a Scottish actor who made it big in Hollywood. In the sketch, the actor uses his Scottishness to woo a woman, but he speaks with basically an insanely watered-down, Americanized accent. A passerby approaches proceeds to criticise his accent and use of American slang like "buddy" instead of what you'd use "wi' yer da or uncle." At the end of the sketch, the interloper with the authentic Glasgwegian accent gets the girl.

* ViolentGlaswegian: Discussed in the voice-activated elevator sketch. The American-voiced machine urges the two very frustrated men to stay calm, to which one of them responds that obviously they had to add this, since they knew they were selling it to Scotsmen who were bound to lose it. The fictional town of Burnistoun appears to be located in the greater Glasgow area.

* AssholeVictim: [[spoiler: Kelly [=McGlade=]]] when the Burnistoun Butcher becomes her new manager.

* RetroactiveRecognition: Richard Rankin, for fans of ''Outlander.''

---> Rubbish collector: You cannae put that body in your green bin, mate. Stuff like that's gotta go in your brown bin. You know, with the grass and the plants and that? If you're wanting that emptied, you'll need to get that body out of there!
---> Burnistoun Butcher: Sick! Too many bloody bins!
---> Rubbish collector: Just daein' my job, mate. Just daein' my job!