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History SelfDemonstrating / BeavisAndButtHead

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** Yeah, and Anderson keeps getting our names wrong too because he's like, old and senile and stuff, heheh. One time when we wrecked his yard, he told the cops our names were "Butt-Hole" and "Joe". Another time, he told us about those "two little bastards, Buford and Bernardo." That dumbass didn't even recognize us, heheheheh!


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* ConstructionVehicleRampage: One time we took the steamroller Anderson had in his driveway for a joyride, heheh. We got to wreck the school and piss off [=McDicker=]. We were looking for Todd to show him how cool we were, but Stewart reminded us he'd dropped out, heheheh.
** Yeah, and while we were out with the steamroller Anderson and his neighbor were sitting in Anderson's yard like a couple of dumbasses, huh huh. When we brought it back we turned it off, which made Anderson pissed. Then he actually did something cool for once and punched his neighbor in the face!


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* RecognitionFailure: Anderson's so old and senile that he never recognizes us, huh huh. He'll complain to the cops about "Butt-Hole and Joe" and tell us about "Buford and Bernardo", but he never realizes we're the same guys who keep screwing him over, huh huh!
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* OurWerewolvesAreDifferent: One time, after seeing that ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' movie, me and Butt-Head tried to become werewolves, so we'd get tons of chicks. But this homeless dude just bit us and [[NauseaFuel we got really sick and covered in these sores and stuff]], heh heh. [[SkewedPriorities And we still didn't score]]!

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* OurWerewolvesAreDifferent: One time, after seeing that ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' ''Film/{{Twilight}}'' movie, me and Butt-Head tried to become werewolves, so we'd get tons of chicks. But this homeless dude just bit us and [[NauseaFuel we got really sick and covered in these sores and stuff]], heh heh. [[SkewedPriorities And we still didn't score]]!
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* CentipedesDilemma: Uh, this one time, me and Beavis were thinking about how we take a whizz, uh huh huh huh huh. And then we, like, forgot how to and couldn't for two weeks, uh huh huh huh huh huh.
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** Yeah, heh heh. And then you go to that place in the clouds where all you get to do is wear a bathrobe and play wuss music on your harp while some old guy reads a book to you about your life. It sucks.
** But, uh, if you're evil, then it means you get to kick people's asses, commit all sorts of crimes, and do all other sorts of cool stuff, huh huh huh. And then, like, you get rich and chicks throw themselves at you. Because they like being with a bad guy or something, uh huh huh huh huh.

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** Yeah, heh heh. And then you go to [[FluffyCloudHeaven that place in the clouds clouds]] where all you get to do is wear a bathrobe and play wuss music on your harp while some old guy reads a book to you about your life. It sucks.
** But, uh, if you're evil, then it means you get to kick people's asses, commit all sorts of crimes, and do all other sorts of cool stuff, huh huh huh. And then, like, you get rich and chicks throw themselves at you. [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys Because they like being with a bad guy or something, something]], uh huh huh huh huh.
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* EvilIsCool: Yeah, really. If you're, like, some dude who does good, uh huh huh, then you're a wuss. Uh huh huh huh huh.
** Yeah, heh heh. And then you go to that place in the clouds where all you get to do is wear a bathrobe and play wuss music on your harp while some old guy reads a book to you about your life. It sucks.
** But, uh, if you're evil, then it means you get to kick people's asses, commit all sorts of crimes, and do all other sorts of cool stuff, huh huh huh. And then, like, you get rich and chicks throw themselves at you. Because they like being with a bad guy or something, uh huh huh huh huh.
** Yeah! And then when you die, you go to Hell, where there's FIRE! And demon chicks that want to do you! And everything smells like turds! Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh! Yeah, that's where I wanna go. Being evil RULES!
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** Umm, on that [[{{Franchise/Transformers}} cartoon where those robots turn into cars]], there are a couple of dudes named [[https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Runabout_(G1) Runabout]] and [[https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Runamuck_(G1) Runamuck]]. Normally, only wusses like Stewart like that stuff, but Runabout and Runamuck are actually cool because they're [[https://twitter.com/TF_Moments/status/1631532273345642496 a lot like us]], heh heh. They love to [[https://twitter.com/TF_Moments/status/1564817756800761858 smash and wreck stuff, and even start fires, FIRES, FIRES!!]] They even laugh like us, heh heh.
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* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Nachos rule! Heh heh. Oh yeah, and so are tacos, huh huh. One cool things about school, is that they have kick-ass tacos.

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* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Mexican food rules, heh heh! Nachos rule! Heh heh. Oh yeah, are our favorites, but we also like burritos and so are tacos, huh huh. One cool things about school, school is that they have kick-ass tacos.tacos. We also like sloppy joes, too. They might be Cuban instead of Mexican, but it's, like, close enough, heheh.
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* GutturalGrowler: Heh, I met this guy who looked like Butt-Head but wasn't Butt-Head, and he said that I had a "scratchy rock and roll voice." Heh heh heh, scratch. I guess that would be pretty cool if I did, 'cause then I could be in Pantera! Heh heh, that would RULE!
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** Oh, and we've learned that, uh, two soldiers working under that [[SelfDemonstrating/KefkaPalazzo magic clown]] copied us. But that's cool. Heh heh heh.

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* OnionTears: One time, I got, like, an onion in my chili dog, and it made my eyes hurt, heh heh. Butt-Head kept telling me I was crying, but I wasn't!

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* OnceDoneNeverForgotten: Hey Beavis, it's okay to cry. Crying takes the sad out of you, uh huh huh huh huh.
** Damn it, Butt-Head, I was NOT crying!
* OnionTears: One Listen, one time, I just got, like, an onion in my chili dog, and it made my eyes hurt, heh heh. Butt-Head kept telling me I was crying, but I wasn't!
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* FutureLoser: Uh, it's like, there's these two dudes who are like us except they're old and stupid and they haven't scored, uh huh huh huh huh. Because they, like, came from another university or something.
** Heh heh, yeah. University sucks! Which is, like, why we're never gonna go, heh heh heh.
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* HopeBringer: YOU ''WILL'' GIVE ALL YOUR TP TO ME! YOU ''WILL'' RESPECT MY BUNGHOLE! MANY WILL FIGHT FOR ME IF YOU DO NOT! FOR NO MAN SHOULD BE WITHOUT TP AND I WILL BRING IT TO THEM!
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** I almost scored with that space chick, but then this guy who looked like me but with a head where his hair should be took her away. But, y'know, it turns out he is me from some other world, and he ''did'' score with her while Butt-Head only got to watch, so uh, heh heh, I think that means ''I'' scored.
** (''SMACK'') Shutup, asswipe! You won't score before I will!

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** I almost scored with that space chick, but then this guy who looked like me but with a head where his hair should be took her away. But, y'know, it turns out it's 'cause he is me from some other world, and he ''did'' score with her while his Butt-Head only got to watch, so uh, heh heh, I think that means ''I'' it wasn't me, but somewhere out there, there's a Beavis who scored.
** (''SMACK'') Shutup, asswipe! You won't score before I will!will! Uh, maybe that you, but not ''this'' you! Huh huh.

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