History Recap / ParadisePDS01E01WelcomeToParadise

'''Gina''': Personally, I like the butthole. It intimidates citizens. I mean, if anything, we should add like a billy club being [[AssShove RAMMED RIGHT INTO IT!]]

* ObliviousToSarcasm: Kevin doesn't understand Randall's sarcasm.
-->'''Kevin''': Good morning. How's my favorite dad?\\
'''Randall''': Kevin, I'm a divorced guy with no balls, who has to wear a testosterone patch to keep his mustache from falling out, SO I'M SHITTING RAINBOWS! YAAAAAAY!\\
'''Kevin''': That's great, dad!

* {{Cliffhanger}}: The episode ends with [[spoiler:an unidentified member of Paradise P.D. shooting Terry Two-Toes in the holding cell, leading into the overarching plot of the rest of the season.]] Pretty epic, considering how they ended the episode off like this and didn't even throw in a single sex joke.

* CannotKeepASecret: Delbert tells Kevin everything he knows about [[spoiler:the argyle meth corporation]], with little to no prompting.

-->'''Hopson''': I pulled over a suspicious-looking colored fellow yesterday!
-->''[Cutaway to Hopson pulling over Fitz]''
-->''[Cut back to scene]''
-->'''Fitz''': Third ... time ... this week.

* DeadPersonConversation: Bullet talks to [[spoiler:Buster]] in his dream. The latter tells him that [[spoiler:he doesn't need to feel bad for killing him with chocolate because now that he's in chocolate heaven, he's having the time of his life.]]

* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: The cops point out that the company logo, which is intended to resemble a sunset, looks more like a puckering anus, which Randall gets pissed off about.
-->'''Fitz''': Maybe PR would improve if we didn't have to walk around with a puckering butthole patch!
-->'''Randall''': Puckering butthole? That happens to be a sunset that I designed myself in Microsoft Paint!
-->'''Gina''': Personally, I like the butthole. It intimidates citizens. I mean, if anything, we should add like a billy club being [[AssShove RAMMED RIGHT INTO IT!]]
** In "Ass on the Line", [[spoiler:Randall admits that it actually was a puckering butthole.]]

** Kevin Crawford - Wanting to be a cop, stupidly plays with a gun and shoots his father in the testicles, letting us know that he's a reckless idiot, who tries and fails to live up to his dreams of being a police officer.
** Randall Crawford - Slams a criminal against the wall and curses at him. He also gets pissed off at his son for shooting him and unleashes a stream of insults onto him. This tells us that Randall is a tough-as-nails police chief, who is quick to anger, and even quicker to get angered.
** Bullet - Comes out of the evidence locker, with cocaine powder all over his nose. Teaching us that he's a drug addicted drug dog.
** Gina Jabowski - Honks Dusty's bitch tits and foghorns his peter. She later describes how she brutally assaulted a guy, just for having an unpaid parking ticket, teaching us that she's a psychopathic crazy bitch, who goes overboard with punishing criminals and also constantly sexually harasses Dusty.
** Dusty Marlowe - Has a gag, where he's eating a sandwich, while an insulin pump functions on his side, showing that he's a one-dimensional fat joke.
** Gerald Fitzgerald - References a cutaway gag, where he meditated on a yoga mat, while Dusty got beat shitless by ruffians. This teaches us that Fitz is a wicca, who does no work and justifies this with "I have PTSD!"
** Stanley Hopson - Wakes up from his nap and randomly tells everyone a story of the time he fingered Mickey Rooney back in the 1900's. This teaches us that he's a crazy old man, with a lot of sexual history with historical figures.

-->'''Kevin''': Alright, I'm only going to ask you this once and I'm not stopping until I get answers. Who do you work for?
-->'''Delbert''': Terry Two-Toes.
-->'''Kevin''': Wow ... seriously? Is it supposed to be this easy? I didn't even need to bring in bad cop.
-->''[Gina breaks through the window and beats the shit out of Delbert with her scrapbook]''
-->'''Gina''': EAT SCRAPBOOK, YOU DICK SUCKING, MOTHERFUCKING, CRIMINAL PIECE OF HUMAN SHIT!

* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: After [[spoiler:killing all of his friends with argyle meth]], Bullet realizes how horrible of a person he is, when he's on drugs. This haunts him so much that he gives up drugs completely.

-->'''Kevin''': Good morning. How's my favorite dad?
-->'''Randall''': Kevin, I'm a divorced guy with no balls, who has to wear a testosterone patch to keep his mustache from falling out, SO I'M SHITTING RAINBOWS! YAAAAAAY!
-->'''Kevin''': That's great, dad!
* NeverMyFault: Kevin may have shot his testicles but considering that he let a loaded gun where his six-year-old son could easily find it Randall is mostly to blame for the incident.

-->'''Kevin''': Listen, I think I know what you guys are selling here and ... I'd like to buy some?
-->'''Robby''': Okay, how 'bout this? I know you're a cop.
-->'''Kevin''': ''[reaches for his gun]''
-->'''Robby''': ''[takes out movie, titled "I Know You're a Cop"]'' It's a buddy cop movie, starring Frank Stallone and a monkey.

* NeverMyFault: Kevin may have shot his testicules but considering that [[TooDumbToLive he let a loaded gun where his six years old son could easily find it]] Randall is mostly to blame for the incident.

* NeverMyFault: Kevin may have shot his testicules but considering that [TooDumbToLive he let a loaded gun where his sis years old son could easily find it] Randall is mostly to blame for the incident.

* TestosteronePoisoning: Randall uses way too many testosterone patches, which turns him into a giant red devil, who breaks a hole in the wall and smashes a car ... his own car.

* MilestoneCelebration: Gina makes her 100th arrest in this episode, which she celebrates by putting in her scrapbook.

-->'''Robby''': ''[takes out movie, titled "I Know You're a Cop"]'' It's a buddy cop movie, starring Frank Stallone and a monkey.

* BulletproofHumanShield: Dusty is used as this twice in the episode. Because he's so fat, the bullets only break through a single layer of his 10 layers of skin and when he sneezes, he shoots the bullets out of his body and back at the villains who fired them at him.

* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: After killing all of his friends with argyle meth, Bullet realizes how horrible of a person he is, when he's on drugs. This haunts him so much that he gives up drugs completely.

* GeorgeJetsonJobSecurity: It's explained here that the only reason someone at oafish and stupid as Kevin is able to keep his job as a highly respected law enforcer is because of the fact that his mother is the mayor, so she forces the job's higher-ups to keep him on the force.

* DisneyCreaturesOfTheFace: Terry Two-Toes' song "Argyle Meth is the Best Meth in Town" parodies a typical Disney song, or "Mickey Mouse shit" as Randall put it, complete with a sparkling shaft of sunshine and some happily tweeting bluebirds flying by, at the beginning of the scene.

** Dusty Marlowe -
** Gerald Fitzgerald -
** Stanley Hopson -

* MenAreTough:
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone:
* OopsIDidItAgain:
* OutOfFocus:
* TestosteronePoisoning:
* TrainingMontage:
* WhosLaughingNow:
* WhosOnFirst: