History Quotes / UnreliableNarrator

->'''Creator/ThurlRavenscroft''': Yes, it's Superior Duck! The Duck of Yesterday!\\
'''Daffy''': Tomorrow. The Duck of ''Tomorrow''.\\
'''Ravenscroft''': Oh, uh, y-y-yes. Ahem. Superior Duck, the Duck of Tomorrow! Yes, it's Superior Duck! Able to leap the tallest locomotive!\\
'''Daffy''': There is no such thing as the tallest locomotive. The accepted verb is not leap; the noun is not locomotive. Understandez-vous?\\
'''Ravenscroft''': Yes, uh, oh yes, yes. Superior Duck! Faster than a speeding building!\\
'''Daffy''': ''[to audience]'' Do you too have trouble with ''your'' narrators?
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'', "Superior Duck"

->'''Caption:''' ''Knowwhere''\\
The edge of the universe\\
Located inside the decapitated head of a Celestial\\
Three months ago\
Kitty Pryde-Narrated flashback\\
'''Kitty Pryde:''' Knowwhere... about two months ago.\\
'''Caption:''' Historically she is an unreliable narrator
-->-- ''ComicBook/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy'' (2015) #5

->''Within the first five minutes, we see our lead Grant has a bump on the head and is hallucinating things. So immediately we know we can’t trust our storyteller and that the movie is building to a bullshit twist. That is not a good start because at that point I also lost interest.... In the second act you may be partially tricked that the twist has already come. Grant finally (FINALLY) runs into Joey. Joey explains though that he was not trying to kill Grant but Marissa because (get this) Marissa is a demon who lures its prey with sex then drains your life force. Temporarily my interest is piqued as I rather like the concept of Tom Sizemore as a demon slayer who is fighting sex demon Creator/KatherineHeigl. Throw in Creator/MelGibson as Sizemore’s partner and [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot you have the makings of one of the funniest buddy movies ever]]. So the second half is spend with Joey and Grant hunting Marissa.\\\
But then the final twist comes. Instead of an interesting movie like the one presented in the second act, it turns out Grant is just crazy and everything we know about the movie is completely wrong. So, in actuality, our movie starts properly in the third act of the movie. I say that because nothing in the story before hand can be trusted. Nothing.''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/zyzzyx-road-2006-john-penney/ on]] ''Film/ZyzzyxRoad'' (2006)

->''But then my friend the philologist remarked that, although my ideas were not without interest, they had not been proved by anything. \\
At first, I was extremely surprised, but when I managed to understand the sense of what he was saying I saw that here, too, he was strictly consistent. \\
He called proof only a text containing precisely formulated information, but not considerations about the subject raised. Of course, I did not agree with him. \\
Because then I would have been obliged to assert [[Literature/TheTravelsOfMarcoPolo that Prester John ruled in the "Three Indias"]]! \\
[...] In the accounting system offered, a "proved statement" will not be one which has a footnote to an authentic source, but one which does not contradict \\
strictly established facts and logic, however paradoxical the conclusion based on such principles. Incidentally, this is how all natural scientists work.''
-->-- '''L.N.Gumilev''', "[[RealityIsUnrealistic Searches for an Imaginary Kingdom]]".

-> ''The warrior and the sorceress rode into Viden-town''\\
''For they had heard of evil there and meant to bring it down''\\
''An overlord with iron hand who ruled his folk with fear --''\\
Hey Barkeep, shut that minstrel up and bring another beer. And Bring another Beer.\\
\\
''The warrior and the sorceress went searching high and low''\\
That isn't true, I tell you, and I think that I should know!\\
''They meant to find the tyrant who'd betrayed his people's trust''\\
''And bring the monster's power and pride to tumble in the dust. Tooo tumble in the dust.''\\
\\
Oh like hell...\\
\\
''They searched through all the town to find and bring him to defeat''\\
Like Hell! What we were looking for was wine and bread and meat!\\
''They found him in the tavern and they challenged him to fight''\\
We found him holding up the bar, drunk as a pig, that night. Drunk as a pig that night\\
\\
''The tyrant laughed and mocked at them, with vile words and base''\\
He tripped on Warrl's tail, then took exception to my face.\\
''The warrior was too wise for him; his blade clove only air!''\\
He swung, I ducked, he lunged -- and then he tripped over a chair. He tripped over a chair.\\
\\
''With but a single blow the warrior brought him to his doom!''\\
About that time he turned around -- I got him with a broom.\\
''And in a breath the deed was done! The tyrant-lord lay dead!''\\
I didn't mean for him to hit the fire iron with his head! The fire iron with this head.\\
\\
''The wife that he had kept shut up they freed and set on high''\\
''And Viden-town beneath her hand contentedly did lie.''\\
I went to find his next-of-kin and to the girl confess --\\
"Your husband wasn't much before, but now he's rather less --" But now he's rather less.\\
\\
"He was a drunken bum, and I'll be better off", she said.\\
"And while I can't admit it, I'm not sorry that he's dead.\\
So here's a little something -- but you'd best be on your way\\
I'll claim it was an accident if you'll just leave today." If you'll just leave today.\\
\\
''In triumph out of Viden-town the partners rode again''\\
''To find another tyrant and to clean him from his den --''\\
''The scourge of evil and the answer to a desperate prayer!''\\
Don't you believe a word of it -- I know, 'cause I was there!
-->-- '''Creator/MercedesLackey''', "The Leslac Version"

->''Bir nodded towards Ching. “Lieutenant Leibshott has been filling me in on the recent history of your world, with some help from Lieutenant Katsuragi. She’s taken pains to stress that she was only telling me what was operationally necessary, and was keeping back sensitive details that pertained to you two for both professional and personal reasons.” He threw a wry look at Misato, who was pretending to study the map on the battle table’s display. “Although Lieutenant Katsuragi was only too happy to offer her own observations and speculations on that front at times. Some of them were very exotic and creative.”\\
Asuka glared at Misato, who gave her a cheerful and unrepentant smile. “I wonder if I can get Kaji to spank you for that.”\\
“Oooh, promise?” Misato cackled in response.\\
Asuka rolled her eyes. “Ignore everything she said. Beer-soaked crazy talk, all of it, I’d bet.”\\
“I’m shocked! You mean you and the First Child weren’t sleepover buddies and pen-pals?” Ching asked with a smile.\\
“And I’m sure the part about you both flashing the penguin was completely unintentional, no matter what Lieutenant Katsuragi says,” Sergeant Bir said.\\
Asuka met Shinji’s equally nonplussed look for a second, and then turned back to Sergeant Bir. “Ahem… er, yeah, total nonsense.”''
-->-- ''Fanfic/ACrownOfStars'', ''[[http://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/posts/2578680/ chapter 49]]''

->A martyr died and said fuck.
->His final howl of profanity reverberated through the ages.
->It inspired his devotees during the darkest times of a brutal regime.
->His lessons were guarded, kept secret, espoused in the shadows of tyranny.
->A vision of peace for those who'd never conceived of it.
->And though his death was gruesome, it opened the world to a feeling of hope.
->This hope echoed through the ages.
->It gave his disciples the strength to persist as they perished in droves.
->It was the only light to shine on a dark planet for millions of sweeps.
->And if you are one so devoted to his teaching, who sees truth in his words,
->It may be said with great authority that '''you are wrong.'''
->'''You are foolish to believe his lies. His martyrdom is false, his sacrifice hollow.'''
->'''Repent for your adherence to this illusion now, and perhaps leniency will be your reward.'''
->"What just happened there?"
->"I brought to your attention that the story you were listening to had a speaker with a specific identity. And where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda."
-->-- '''Aradia''' and '''[[spoiler:Alt!Calliope]]''', ''Literature/TheHomestuckEpilogues''