Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Armor Piercing Slap is no longer a trope
Changed line(s) 166 (click to see context) from:
'''Sandy:''' Only just before he [[ArmorPiercingSlap suffers a concussion.]]
to:
'''Sandy:''' Only just before he [[ArmorPiercingSlap suffers a concussion.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->'''Roger:''' And you know that feeling you get when something cool you built turns out to work even better than you expected? It's really wierd when that thing is also chasing you with a death ray.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2555.html here]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2555.html here]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->'''Sandy:''' Oh ick. You guys actually play in this muck?\\
'''Swampy:''' Think of it as "less than optimal playing conditions."\\
'''Sandy:''' It's mud.\\
'''Roger:''' [[InsistentTerminology "Excessively hydrated topsoil."]]\\
'''Sandy:''' You guys are nuts.\\
'''Swampy:''' "Imbalanced cognitive ability."\\
'''Roger:''' "Obsessive-compulsive."
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb450.html here]]
'''Swampy:''' Think of it as "less than optimal playing conditions."\\
'''Sandy:''' It's mud.\\
'''Roger:''' [[InsistentTerminology "Excessively hydrated topsoil."]]\\
'''Sandy:''' You guys are nuts.\\
'''Swampy:''' "Imbalanced cognitive ability."\\
'''Roger:''' "Obsessive-compulsive."
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb450.html here]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 270 (click to see context) from:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1885.html here]]->'''Cara:''' How do I know you don't still have a bunch of strange and nasty secrets?\\
to:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1885.html here]]->'''Cara:''' here]]
->'''Cara:''' How do I know you don't still have a bunch of strange and nasty secrets?\\
->'''Cara:''' How do I know you don't still have a bunch of strange and nasty secrets?\\
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 270 (click to see context) from:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1885.html here]]
to:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1885.html here]]->'''Cara:''' How do I know you don't still have a bunch of strange and nasty secrets?\\
'''Doc:''' My Dear Lady, I have not even ''begun'' to show you my trove of strange and nasty secrets.\\
'''Cara:''' Should I be worried?\\
'''Doc:''' Not at all. You're fireproof now.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2259.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Veiled insult has been noted and logged.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2275.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh gosh, that aroused neither curiosity nor suspicion. I should pay it no mind and just go about my usual business.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2326.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Don't worry about it. Just be yourself.\\
'''Doc:''' Myself has the fashion sense of a retired dumptruck. I should at least make an effort.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2340.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Would the owner of the blue Ford hatchback, parked on the west side of the building in the no-parking zone in front of our loading dock, please remove it? What's left of your transmission is clogging the treads on our excavator. Thank you.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2572.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Swamps, I love you, but sometimes I swear your brain is just a shock absorber.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2602.html here]]
->'''Roger:''' That would be dangerous, stupid and ill-advised. Lemme get my toolbox.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2629.html here]]
'''Doc:''' My Dear Lady, I have not even ''begun'' to show you my trove of strange and nasty secrets.\\
'''Cara:''' Should I be worried?\\
'''Doc:''' Not at all. You're fireproof now.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2259.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Veiled insult has been noted and logged.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2275.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh gosh, that aroused neither curiosity nor suspicion. I should pay it no mind and just go about my usual business.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2326.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Don't worry about it. Just be yourself.\\
'''Doc:''' Myself has the fashion sense of a retired dumptruck. I should at least make an effort.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2340.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Would the owner of the blue Ford hatchback, parked on the west side of the building in the no-parking zone in front of our loading dock, please remove it? What's left of your transmission is clogging the treads on our excavator. Thank you.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2572.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Swamps, I love you, but sometimes I swear your brain is just a shock absorber.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2602.html here]]
->'''Roger:''' That would be dangerous, stupid and ill-advised. Lemme get my toolbox.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb2629.html here]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb177.html here]]
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb177.html here]]
Changed line(s) 47 (click to see context) from:
to:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb190.html here]]
Deleted line(s) 53,56 (click to see context) :
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 155 (click to see context) from:
->'''Pirta:''' Is her always such a perv?\\
to:
->'''Pirta:''' Is her he always such a perv?\\
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 62 (click to see context) from:
'''Roger:''' Like when you stripped that bolt back at the shop and got so angry you threw the ratchet handle throught the wall and broke a water pipe? That was fun?
to:
'''Roger:''' Like when you stripped that bolt back at the shop and got so angry you threw the ratchet handle throught through the wall and broke a water pipe? That was fun?
Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
'''Bandit:''' Two cases? Should I be in fear for my life?\\
to:
'''Bandit:''' Two cases? [[TheMadnessPlace Should I be in fear for my life?\\life?]]\\
Changed line(s) 268 (click to see context) from:
->'''Shoey:''' ''[reffing]'' Oh, it's good to be back on the field. Big group, new players...''HEY DIPWAD! I SEE YOU [[KickThemWhileTheyAreDown BONUS-BALLING ELIMINATED PLAYERS]] AGAIN I'M GONNA MAKE YOU '''EAT''' THAT BUNKER!!'' It's almost relaxing...
to:
->'''Shoey:''' ''[reffing]'' Oh, it's good to be back on the field. field again! Big group, new players...''HEY DIPWAD! I SEE CATCH YOU [[KickThemWhileTheyAreDown BONUS-BALLING ELIMINATED PLAYERS]] AGAIN I'M GONNA MAKE YOU '''EAT''' THAT BUNKER!!'' It's almost relaxing...
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 266 (click to see context) from:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1882.html here]]
to:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1882.html here]]
->'''Shoey:''' ''[reffing]'' Oh, it's good to be back on the field. Big group, new players...''HEY DIPWAD! I SEE YOU [[KickThemWhileTheyAreDown BONUS-BALLING ELIMINATED PLAYERS]] AGAIN I'M GONNA MAKE YOU '''EAT''' THAT BUNKER!!'' It's almost relaxing...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1885.html here]]
->'''Shoey:''' ''[reffing]'' Oh, it's good to be back on the field. Big group, new players...''HEY DIPWAD! I SEE YOU [[KickThemWhileTheyAreDown BONUS-BALLING ELIMINATED PLAYERS]] AGAIN I'M GONNA MAKE YOU '''EAT''' THAT BUNKER!!'' It's almost relaxing...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1885.html here]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 217 (click to see context) from:
->'''Bruno:''' I can't fault his logic, Red. I wanna unscrew his head and see what makes him tick, but I can't fault his ''logic''.
to:
->'''Bruno:''' I can't fault his logic, Red. [[StopHavingFunGuys I wanna unscrew his head and see what makes him tick, tick]], but I can't fault his ''logic''.
Changed line(s) 256 (click to see context) from:
'''Red:''' Veiled, nothin'. You an' Roger soaked my entire target range [[SpamAttack and everything for sixty yards around it a food deep in yellow paint.]] You guys ''owe'' me.
to:
'''Red:''' Veiled, nothin'. You an' Roger soaked my entire target range [[SpamAttack and everything for sixty yards around it a food foot deep in yellow paint.]] You guys ''owe'' me.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 107 (click to see context) from:
'''Swampy:''' Of course, some take 'different' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} to a whole new and interesting level...]]
to:
'''Swampy:''' Of course, some take 'different' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} [[BunnyEarsLawyer to a whole new and interesting level...]]
Changed line(s) 149,150 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
->'''Doc:''' Okay, if I send it back with a refund, give you a new one, erase the website, burn the shop down, shave my head and move to Tibet, ''THEN'' would you be satisfied?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb003.html here]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb003.html here]]
Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
Changed line(s) 8,9 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
->'''Player:''' Hey Doc, you're here! Can you fix a Nova that won't fire?\\
'''Roger:''' 8.4 seconds and you're not even out of the truck yet. That's a new record.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb033.html here]]
Changed line(s) 13,14 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
Changed line(s) 16,17 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
Changed line(s) 21,22 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
to:
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb120.html here]]
Changed line(s) 27,28 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
Changed line(s) 30,32 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Bandit:''' ''[Watching Jinx's tryout with a pump-action marker]'' He's going to be insufferable, you know.\\
->'''Bandit:''' ''[Watching Jinx's tryout with a pump-action marker]'' He's going to be insufferable, you know.\\
to:
'''Bandit:''' He's going to be insufferable, you know.\\
Changed line(s) 34,39 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
'''Swampy:''' You know
%%-->-- [[ here]]
'''Doc:''' Technically, I suppose, but then what ''Enron'' was doing was technically legal. 'Til they got caught, anyway.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb214.html here]]
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
Changed line(s) 47,48 (click to see context) from:
%%-->-- [[ here]]
to:
->'''Doc:''' ''[on modding his truck with snow tracks]'' Sometimes the journey is more interesting than the destination. I have fun just trying to get there.\\
'''Roger:''' Like when you stripped that bolt back at the shop and got so angry you threw the ratchet handle throught the wall and broke a water pipe? That was fun?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb260.html here]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->'''Customer:''' Hey! This 'cocker you sold me stopped working after I fixed it!\\
'''Doc:''' ''[on the phone]'' Hang on, I gotta go break somebody's fingers.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Doc:''' So what inspired you to put a miniature Tokamak fusion reactor in my Electrococker?\\
'''Roger:''' Remember how mad you got last month when the battery died in the middle of that rush for the flag?\\
'''Doc:''' Point taken. But in all fairness, they were planning on cutting down those trees for more playing area anyway.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' Was that [[WrenchWench a woman wearing a toolbelt?]]\\
'''Doc:''' Yup.\\
'''Roger:''' Why was I not notified?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Doc:''' Moved here intentionally? Your parents probably aren't real clear on the concept of 'godforsaken backwater.'
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' [You'll need] a helmet, a fire extinguisher, a first-aid kit and an updated life insurance policy.\\
'''Jinx:''' ''What?'' What kind of field is it?!\\
'''Roger:''' Field? Oh, the field's fine. I was talking about riding in [[CoolCar Doc's truck]]. You'd be safer in a top-fuel dragster. Wouldn't get you there as fast, though.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Rainman:''' ''[to Jinx]'' Hey stranger.\\
'''Doc:''' And stranger still. What's up Rainman?
->'''Newbie:''' ''[on some pros' paintball jargon]'' Does anyone here speak English?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Doc:''' Hmm. Roger's laptop, and it's still logged in. ''*starts typing search terms*'' Let's see now... Phrenology, civet gallbladder, inflatable, zaftig! Pusillanimous, hormone, pygmy walrus! Dementia, cure of, and flatulence, cure of! ''*finishes and goes away giggling*'' I wonder what Amazon.com will recommend for him now?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Bandit:''' ''[Watching Jinx's tryout with a pump-action marker]'' He's going to be insufferable, you know.\\
'''Doc:''' We lived through your first time, didn't we?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->''[after Doc accidentally [[ExplosiveOverclocking explosively overcharges]] the lights]'' \\
'''Roger:''' Now those are some interesting colors...\\
'''Doc:''' Where's Swampy? We're gonna need somebody with uncarbonized retinas to check the breaker room for flames.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' No veggies?\\
'''Doc:''' [[MeatVersusVeggies Veggies are what food eats.]]
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' I had everything organized!\\
'''Doc:''' What, geologically? Strata and syncline are not terms typically used in office filing systems.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb301.html here]]
->'''Bandit:''' What's up Roj. Where is everybody?\\
'''Roger:''' Doc locked himself in the shop [[MustHaveCaffeine with two cases of Dew.]]\\
'''Bandit:''' Two cases? Should I be in fear for my life?\\
'''Roger:''' I've already secured all the fissionables. Nothing to worry about except [[StuffBlowingUp conventional munitions and the usual runaway exothermic reactions.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb312.html here]]
->'''Customer:''' Wow, it looks great. What all did you have to replace?\\
'''Doc:''' Well, I checked it carefully, and...see this fitting? And the trigger? Those I kept. Everything else I had to replace.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb325.html here]]
->'''Swampy:''' Didn't Doc treat him for megalomania after the last tourney?\\
'''Shoey:''' Musta wore off. Think we should clobber him again?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb340.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' A nice bottle of Chateau Belgrave...\\
'''Roger:''' [[WineIsClassy A white wine? Wouldn't a red go better with]] [[SubvertedTrope the microwave burritos?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb354.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' I'm really sorry about this. The guys get a little rowdy after a game...\\
'''Waiter:''' Rowdy?! They jacked up the pressure on the soda fountain and were trying to chrono the Coke nozzles!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb366.html here]]
->'''Spam:''' Dear Doc: We are pr epar red to help yu re fin annce you're mort age right now !\\
'''Doc:''' Dear Sirs: Thank you for your assistance. [[SarcasmMode I've always wanted to let some random person who can't spell handle a major financial transaction for me,]] but I'll have to direct you to my financial adviser in order to work out the details. He is Mr. MUGABE AZINGA of the Nigerian Finance Ministry. [[SetAMookToKillAMook Please allow me to forward your message to him...]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb393.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You don't necessarily need to know anything about paintball, it's just office paperwork like you'd see at any other company.\\
'''Sandy:''' Hair restorer and microwave popcorn are business expenses?\\
'''Doc:''' Well, okay, maybe not ''exactly'' like other companies...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb415.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' ''[being carried at a sprint by Roger]'' isn't this a bit extreme for an "oops"?\\
'''Roger:''' After you've been here for a while, you'll learn how ominous one of Doc's 'oopses' can be. [[DontAskJustRun They tend to have a minimum safe distance.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb440.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Does everyone use the same kind of accessories?\\
'''Swampy:''' Not really. There's lots of ways to set these up, and every player is different...\\
'''Roger:''' My towel! Where's my towel! [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy How can I be a hoopy frood if I don't know where my towel is?!]]\\
'''Swampy:''' Of course, some take 'different' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} to a whole new and interesting level...]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb465.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what to do when I get there, and somebody could pop out and shoot me any second now. So why am I having so much fun?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb498.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' What's with these people? They're so ''[[TheCameo strange!]]''\\
'''Swampy:''' They're fine. They're no worse than Doc or Roger. [[MadScientist Okay, bad example]], but still...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb539.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' No problem. I've seen this kind of thing lots of times. In fact, I think I first saw this particular problem in the movie ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey''.\\
'''Customer:''' What, a computer malfunction?\\
'''Doc:''' [[SurroundedByIdiots No, monkeys bashing stuff with a thigh bone.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb564.html here]]
->'''Customer:''' Hey, got a problem here, think you can fix it?\\
'''Doc:''' [[MrFixit With the right filler rod I can fix the crack of dawn.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb575.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' 'Swampy,' huh? Unimaginative parents, or did they just hate you outright?\\
'''Swampy:''' Well, they weren't poets.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb590.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Dunno. What's playing?\\
'''Roger:''' The same five movies that are always playing: the mindless explosive-laden action flick, the sappy chick flick, the propagandist political "documentary", the low-budget sci-fi based off a crappy book, and the horror/thriller with a plot so transparent it makes vodka look like week-old Yoo-Hoo.\\
'''Doc:''' You can always stay here, you know.\\
'''Roger:''' [[SoBadItsGood And miss out on all the fun?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb631.html here]]
->'''Roger:''' 'Not bad?!' [[ItCameFromTheFridge The egg salad's grown MANDIBLES!]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb652.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' Anybody know why he tried blowing up a refrigerator in the first place?\\
'''Bruno:''' He's Doc. Sometimes 'just because' is a perfectly acceptable reason.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb666.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' ''[watching Pirta play]'' We've created a monster.\\
'''Swampy:''' That's what we said about you.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb729.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Now we can do this one of two ways. One, you delete the photos voluntarily and don't let the lady know they were ever taken, and we'll give you some free passes and paint for your trouble. The other way involves being coerced to ''eat'' said phones without benefit of condiments, after which we suggest to the lady that she could perhaps retrieve them, if she so desired, using whatever pointy items she had on hand.\\
'''Cell camera guy:''' You make a strong and vividly illustrated case.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Sandy:''' A...bomb shelter?\\
'''Doc:''' Well, that's what he called it. It was more like a place to ''store'' his bombs.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb842.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' Is her always such a perv?\\
'''Sandy:''' Only just before he [[ArmorPiercingSlap suffers a concussion.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb889.html here]]
->'''Rainman:''' The blues lost three guys but were up one. Larry, why don't you switch over?\\
'''Blue guy:''' The body rejects that transplant.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb954.html here]]
->'''Shoey:''' Uh, the game's started.\\
'''Player:''' Oh, ayuh, I know. I'm stayin' here to defend th' flag.\\
'''Shoey:''' From what? Invasive weeds?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb956.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' What ''is'' it with this place that not only does [[StuffBlowingUp something blow up every five minutes]], but it's always something [[MadeOfExplodium that has no business exploding in the first place?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1028.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Y'know, I think next time I go skydiving, I won't even have to bother bringing a parachute. I'll just bring some welding leads or an extension cord. It's an even bet they'll snag on ''something'' before I land.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1154.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' I'd say it's too early for puns...but that presumes that at some point there's a correct time for them.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1340.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' I didn't say it was a good idea. I just said it'd be fun to watch.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1353.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' What? C'mon! The experiment worked! Hardly anything blew up!\\
'''Sandy:''' Except that you use 'hardly anything' like most people use 'across the entire Eastern seaboard.'
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1376.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' Oh, come on! Fancy restaurants are the best places to make a scene!\\
'''Tawny:''' I bet I can get us kicked out!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1399.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' What on Earth are you trying to do there, reassemble used dynamite?\\
'''Doc:''' That'd probably be easier.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1465.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' What? But I have some great strategies and tactics lined up for you guys!\\
'''Sandy:''' Most of your 'strategies' involve [[FastballSpecial throwing people overhand]] or distracting them with a stun grenade. We want to win this thing our way.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1470.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Can I get you something to drink?\\
'''Gino:''' Beer if you got one. Three if you got more than one.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1548.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You know, I've never seen anyone crumple a glass bottle into a ball before.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1549.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Well, Roger had this idea for a golf club, and...wait, don't you want to hear what happened?\\
'''Sandy:''' I'll wait for the movie. Or the court transcripts.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1552.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Your lectures could be bottled and sold as surgical anesthetic.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1660.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You know, some nice soothing gunfire does sound pretty good right about now...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1667.html here]]
->'''Rainman:''' I want a rematch!\\
'''Bandit:''' Sure! 237th time's the charm!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1671.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' I can't fault his logic, Red. I wanna unscrew his head and see what makes him tick, but I can't fault his ''logic''.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1685.html here]]
->'''Swampy:''' All right, are they running towards something, or away from it?\\
'''Sandy:''' Away, 'cause they're sweating. If they were running that excitedly towards something, they'd be drooling.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1722.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Okay, I'm pretty sure like two minutes ago we were talking about team practice. Did I get the wrong set of cue cards or something?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1750.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' What? How did you know?\\
'''Swampy:''' Well, like this morning, when he found out I ate the last of his Froot Loops? The smoke that came out of his ears was a lot darker than usual...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1752.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' This is kind of a "RocksFallEveryoneDies" type of weapon, isn't it?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1788.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' I think we're okay. The fire would have to jump the river to get here, and I've taken precautions. I washed my car and invited a bunch of people over for a barbecue this weekend. [[CueTheRain It's practically guaranteed to rain]].
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1798.html here]]
->'''Swampy:''' But I bribed Bruno to let us have one!\\
'''Pirta:''' You? A bribe? You mean to tell me that Bruno can be bought off with [[PerpetualPoverty half a pound of pocket lint and an expired Hardee's coupon?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1800.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' I heard Darryl wasn't quite the same after he took a tranq dart strong enough to knock down [[UnstoppableRage Doc on a Dew bender.]]\\
'''Rainman:''' To tell the truth, sir, Darryl wasn't quite the same in the first place.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1803.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You and I have very different ideas of what 'real simple' means.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1807.html here]]
->'''Red Team:''' Besides its use in popular culture to denote anger and aggression, the color red's historic use as a pejorative towards Communist Bloc nations--e.g. "[[DirtyCommunists the Red Menace]]"--makes it politically unacceptable, and as such I would like to request an alternative!\\
'''Jinx:''' ...right. Okay, Team ''Pedantic Douchebags'', are you ready?!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1841.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' Swampy, I swear I am going to find a way to make you eat your own head.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1856.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Is that a veiled request for help?\\
'''Red:''' Veiled, nothin'. You an' Roger soaked my entire target range [[SpamAttack and everything for sixty yards around it a food deep in yellow paint.]] You guys ''owe'' me.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1863.html here]]
->'''Roger:''' Leave me alone. Do you have any idea how hard it is to code up a 3-dimensional dynamic spin compensation program?\\
'''Doc:''' Do you know how funny it's going to look with your tail protruding from your left ear?\\
'''Roger:''' [[ShuttingUpNow I'll be right out.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1864.html here]]
->'''Red:''' Is someone paying you to keep me depressed, Bruno?\\
'''Bruno:''' We took up a collection.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1882.html here]]
'''Doc:''' ''[on the phone]'' Hang on, I gotta go break somebody's fingers.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Doc:''' So what inspired you to put a miniature Tokamak fusion reactor in my Electrococker?\\
'''Roger:''' Remember how mad you got last month when the battery died in the middle of that rush for the flag?\\
'''Doc:''' Point taken. But in all fairness, they were planning on cutting down those trees for more playing area anyway.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' Was that [[WrenchWench a woman wearing a toolbelt?]]\\
'''Doc:''' Yup.\\
'''Roger:''' Why was I not notified?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Doc:''' Moved here intentionally? Your parents probably aren't real clear on the concept of 'godforsaken backwater.'
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' [You'll need] a helmet, a fire extinguisher, a first-aid kit and an updated life insurance policy.\\
'''Jinx:''' ''What?'' What kind of field is it?!\\
'''Roger:''' Field? Oh, the field's fine. I was talking about riding in [[CoolCar Doc's truck]]. You'd be safer in a top-fuel dragster. Wouldn't get you there as fast, though.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Rainman:''' ''[to Jinx]'' Hey stranger.\\
'''Doc:''' And stranger still. What's up Rainman?
->'''Newbie:''' ''[on some pros' paintball jargon]'' Does anyone here speak English?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Doc:''' Hmm. Roger's laptop, and it's still logged in. ''*starts typing search terms*'' Let's see now... Phrenology, civet gallbladder, inflatable, zaftig! Pusillanimous, hormone, pygmy walrus! Dementia, cure of, and flatulence, cure of! ''*finishes and goes away giggling*'' I wonder what Amazon.com will recommend for him now?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Bandit:''' ''[Watching Jinx's tryout with a pump-action marker]'' He's going to be insufferable, you know.\\
'''Doc:''' We lived through your first time, didn't we?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Bandit:''' What's wrong?\\
'''Swampy:''' You know that feeling that [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Wile E Coyote]] gets when he realizes the [[AnvilOnHead anvil]] is still up there?
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->''[after Doc accidentally [[ExplosiveOverclocking explosively overcharges]] the lights]'' \\
'''Roger:''' Now those are some interesting colors...\\
'''Doc:''' Where's Swampy? We're gonna need somebody with uncarbonized retinas to check the breaker room for flames.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' No veggies?\\
'''Doc:''' [[MeatVersusVeggies Veggies are what food eats.]]
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Roger:''' I had everything organized!\\
'''Doc:''' What, geologically? Strata and syncline are not terms typically used in office filing systems.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb301.html here]]
->'''Bandit:''' What's up Roj. Where is everybody?\\
'''Roger:''' Doc locked himself in the shop [[MustHaveCaffeine with two cases of Dew.]]\\
'''Bandit:''' Two cases? Should I be in fear for my life?\\
'''Roger:''' I've already secured all the fissionables. Nothing to worry about except [[StuffBlowingUp conventional munitions and the usual runaway exothermic reactions.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb312.html here]]
->'''Customer:''' Wow, it looks great. What all did you have to replace?\\
'''Doc:''' Well, I checked it carefully, and...see this fitting? And the trigger? Those I kept. Everything else I had to replace.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb325.html here]]
->'''Swampy:''' Didn't Doc treat him for megalomania after the last tourney?\\
'''Shoey:''' Musta wore off. Think we should clobber him again?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb340.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' A nice bottle of Chateau Belgrave...\\
'''Roger:''' [[WineIsClassy A white wine? Wouldn't a red go better with]] [[SubvertedTrope the microwave burritos?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb354.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' I'm really sorry about this. The guys get a little rowdy after a game...\\
'''Waiter:''' Rowdy?! They jacked up the pressure on the soda fountain and were trying to chrono the Coke nozzles!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb366.html here]]
->'''Spam:''' Dear Doc: We are pr epar red to help yu re fin annce you're mort age right now !\\
'''Doc:''' Dear Sirs: Thank you for your assistance. [[SarcasmMode I've always wanted to let some random person who can't spell handle a major financial transaction for me,]] but I'll have to direct you to my financial adviser in order to work out the details. He is Mr. MUGABE AZINGA of the Nigerian Finance Ministry. [[SetAMookToKillAMook Please allow me to forward your message to him...]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb393.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You don't necessarily need to know anything about paintball, it's just office paperwork like you'd see at any other company.\\
'''Sandy:''' Hair restorer and microwave popcorn are business expenses?\\
'''Doc:''' Well, okay, maybe not ''exactly'' like other companies...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb415.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' ''[being carried at a sprint by Roger]'' isn't this a bit extreme for an "oops"?\\
'''Roger:''' After you've been here for a while, you'll learn how ominous one of Doc's 'oopses' can be. [[DontAskJustRun They tend to have a minimum safe distance.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb440.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Does everyone use the same kind of accessories?\\
'''Swampy:''' Not really. There's lots of ways to set these up, and every player is different...\\
'''Roger:''' My towel! Where's my towel! [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy How can I be a hoopy frood if I don't know where my towel is?!]]\\
'''Swampy:''' Of course, some take 'different' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} to a whole new and interesting level...]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb465.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what to do when I get there, and somebody could pop out and shoot me any second now. So why am I having so much fun?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb498.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' What's with these people? They're so ''[[TheCameo strange!]]''\\
'''Swampy:''' They're fine. They're no worse than Doc or Roger. [[MadScientist Okay, bad example]], but still...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb539.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' No problem. I've seen this kind of thing lots of times. In fact, I think I first saw this particular problem in the movie ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey''.\\
'''Customer:''' What, a computer malfunction?\\
'''Doc:''' [[SurroundedByIdiots No, monkeys bashing stuff with a thigh bone.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb564.html here]]
->'''Customer:''' Hey, got a problem here, think you can fix it?\\
'''Doc:''' [[MrFixit With the right filler rod I can fix the crack of dawn.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb575.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' 'Swampy,' huh? Unimaginative parents, or did they just hate you outright?\\
'''Swampy:''' Well, they weren't poets.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb590.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Dunno. What's playing?\\
'''Roger:''' The same five movies that are always playing: the mindless explosive-laden action flick, the sappy chick flick, the propagandist political "documentary", the low-budget sci-fi based off a crappy book, and the horror/thriller with a plot so transparent it makes vodka look like week-old Yoo-Hoo.\\
'''Doc:''' You can always stay here, you know.\\
'''Roger:''' [[SoBadItsGood And miss out on all the fun?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb631.html here]]
->'''Roger:''' 'Not bad?!' [[ItCameFromTheFridge The egg salad's grown MANDIBLES!]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb652.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' Anybody know why he tried blowing up a refrigerator in the first place?\\
'''Bruno:''' He's Doc. Sometimes 'just because' is a perfectly acceptable reason.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb666.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' ''[watching Pirta play]'' We've created a monster.\\
'''Swampy:''' That's what we said about you.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb729.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Now we can do this one of two ways. One, you delete the photos voluntarily and don't let the lady know they were ever taken, and we'll give you some free passes and paint for your trouble. The other way involves being coerced to ''eat'' said phones without benefit of condiments, after which we suggest to the lady that she could perhaps retrieve them, if she so desired, using whatever pointy items she had on hand.\\
'''Cell camera guy:''' You make a strong and vividly illustrated case.
%%-->-- [[ here]]
->'''Sandy:''' A...bomb shelter?\\
'''Doc:''' Well, that's what he called it. It was more like a place to ''store'' his bombs.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb842.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' Is her always such a perv?\\
'''Sandy:''' Only just before he [[ArmorPiercingSlap suffers a concussion.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb889.html here]]
->'''Rainman:''' The blues lost three guys but were up one. Larry, why don't you switch over?\\
'''Blue guy:''' The body rejects that transplant.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb954.html here]]
->'''Shoey:''' Uh, the game's started.\\
'''Player:''' Oh, ayuh, I know. I'm stayin' here to defend th' flag.\\
'''Shoey:''' From what? Invasive weeds?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb956.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' What ''is'' it with this place that not only does [[StuffBlowingUp something blow up every five minutes]], but it's always something [[MadeOfExplodium that has no business exploding in the first place?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1028.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Y'know, I think next time I go skydiving, I won't even have to bother bringing a parachute. I'll just bring some welding leads or an extension cord. It's an even bet they'll snag on ''something'' before I land.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1154.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' I'd say it's too early for puns...but that presumes that at some point there's a correct time for them.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1340.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' I didn't say it was a good idea. I just said it'd be fun to watch.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1353.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' What? C'mon! The experiment worked! Hardly anything blew up!\\
'''Sandy:''' Except that you use 'hardly anything' like most people use 'across the entire Eastern seaboard.'
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1376.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' Oh, come on! Fancy restaurants are the best places to make a scene!\\
'''Tawny:''' I bet I can get us kicked out!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1399.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' What on Earth are you trying to do there, reassemble used dynamite?\\
'''Doc:''' That'd probably be easier.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1465.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' What? But I have some great strategies and tactics lined up for you guys!\\
'''Sandy:''' Most of your 'strategies' involve [[FastballSpecial throwing people overhand]] or distracting them with a stun grenade. We want to win this thing our way.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1470.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Can I get you something to drink?\\
'''Gino:''' Beer if you got one. Three if you got more than one.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1548.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You know, I've never seen anyone crumple a glass bottle into a ball before.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1549.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Well, Roger had this idea for a golf club, and...wait, don't you want to hear what happened?\\
'''Sandy:''' I'll wait for the movie. Or the court transcripts.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1552.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Your lectures could be bottled and sold as surgical anesthetic.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1660.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You know, some nice soothing gunfire does sound pretty good right about now...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1667.html here]]
->'''Rainman:''' I want a rematch!\\
'''Bandit:''' Sure! 237th time's the charm!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1671.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' I can't fault his logic, Red. I wanna unscrew his head and see what makes him tick, but I can't fault his ''logic''.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1685.html here]]
->'''Swampy:''' All right, are they running towards something, or away from it?\\
'''Sandy:''' Away, 'cause they're sweating. If they were running that excitedly towards something, they'd be drooling.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1722.html here]]
->'''Sandy:''' Okay, I'm pretty sure like two minutes ago we were talking about team practice. Did I get the wrong set of cue cards or something?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1750.html here]]
->'''Pirta:''' What? How did you know?\\
'''Swampy:''' Well, like this morning, when he found out I ate the last of his Froot Loops? The smoke that came out of his ears was a lot darker than usual...
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1752.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' This is kind of a "RocksFallEveryoneDies" type of weapon, isn't it?
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1788.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' I think we're okay. The fire would have to jump the river to get here, and I've taken precautions. I washed my car and invited a bunch of people over for a barbecue this weekend. [[CueTheRain It's practically guaranteed to rain]].
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1798.html here]]
->'''Swampy:''' But I bribed Bruno to let us have one!\\
'''Pirta:''' You? A bribe? You mean to tell me that Bruno can be bought off with [[PerpetualPoverty half a pound of pocket lint and an expired Hardee's coupon?]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1800.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' I heard Darryl wasn't quite the same after he took a tranq dart strong enough to knock down [[UnstoppableRage Doc on a Dew bender.]]\\
'''Rainman:''' To tell the truth, sir, Darryl wasn't quite the same in the first place.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1803.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' You and I have very different ideas of what 'real simple' means.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1807.html here]]
->'''Red Team:''' Besides its use in popular culture to denote anger and aggression, the color red's historic use as a pejorative towards Communist Bloc nations--e.g. "[[DirtyCommunists the Red Menace]]"--makes it politically unacceptable, and as such I would like to request an alternative!\\
'''Jinx:''' ...right. Okay, Team ''Pedantic Douchebags'', are you ready?!
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1841.html here]]
->'''Bruno:''' Swampy, I swear I am going to find a way to make you eat your own head.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1856.html here]]
->'''Doc:''' Is that a veiled request for help?\\
'''Red:''' Veiled, nothin'. You an' Roger soaked my entire target range [[SpamAttack and everything for sixty yards around it a food deep in yellow paint.]] You guys ''owe'' me.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1863.html here]]
->'''Roger:''' Leave me alone. Do you have any idea how hard it is to code up a 3-dimensional dynamic spin compensation program?\\
'''Doc:''' Do you know how funny it's going to look with your tail protruding from your left ear?\\
'''Roger:''' [[ShuttingUpNow I'll be right out.]]
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1864.html here]]
->'''Red:''' Is someone paying you to keep me depressed, Bruno?\\
'''Bruno:''' We took up a collection.
-->-- [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1882.html here]]
