History Quotes / Portal

[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''Goodbye, Caroline. You know, deleting Caroline just now [[IronicEcho taught me a valuable lesson]]: The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest. Killing you? Is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. [[HumiliationConga Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds.]] I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. [[YouMonster You dangerous. mute. lunatic.]] So you know what? You win. Just go. (Soft laughter) It's been fun. Don't come back.'']]

-->'''Recorded Message from Cave Johnson:''' ''To those of you who signed up to be injected with preying mantis DNA, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this test has been postponed indefinitely. The good news is that we have a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis-men! Just grab a rifle and follow the yellow line; you'll know [[HilarityEnsues when the test starts]].''

-->'''Recorded Message from Cave Johnson:''' ''To those of you who were going to be spliced with preying mantis DNA, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this test has been discontinued indefinitely. The good news is that we now have an even better test for you - fighting an army of Mantis-men! Just pick up a rifle from the front desk and follow the yellow line; you'll know [[HilarityEnsues when the test starts]].''

''You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you.'' Yet.\\
''Food for thought.''

-->'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks "stupid". Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably— Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! [[EveryoneLooksSexierIfFrench From France!]]''

-->'''Wheatley:''' ''Holmes versus Moriarty... Aristotle versus.. MASHY-SPIKE-PLATE!

Damnit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! GET IT! WE GET IT!!!''

-->'''Recorded Message from Cave Johnson:''' ''Yo those of you who were going to be spliced with preying mantis DNA, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this test has been discontinued indefinitely. The good news is that we now have an even better test for you - fighting an army of Mantis-men! Just pick up a rifle from the front desk and follow the yellow line; you'll know [[HilarityEnsues when the test starts]].''

Hey, you know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't effect anybody's life in anyway whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything.\\

-->'' Maybe you'll find someone else to help you''.

-->[[spoiler:'''Space Core:''' ''Dad, I'm in space.'']]\\
[[spoiler:'''Deeper Voice:''' ''I'm proud of you son.'']]\\
[[spoiler:'''Normal Voice:''' ''Dad, are you space?'']]\\
[[spoiler:'''Deeper Voice:''' ''Yes, now we are family again.'']]

[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''Oh hi. How are you holding up?'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Because I'm a potato.]]]]

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I '''literally''' do not have the energy to lie to you.'']]

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson: I thought you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: Where Caroline lives in my brain.'']]\\

--> '' Maybe you'll find someone else to help you''.
-->''[[ShoutOut Maybe]] [[HalfLife Black Mesa]]''
-->''THAT WAS A JOKE.''
-->''HA HA.'' '''FAT CHANCE'''

--> ''The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.''

--> ''Do not touch the operational end of the device.''
--> ''Do not look at the operational end of the device.''
--> ''Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially.''
--> ''Most importantly, under no circumstances should you- *power drain*.''

-->''Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did?''
-->''[[NotSoDifferent We're a lot alike, you and I.]]''
-->''You tested me. I tested you.''
-->''You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you.'' Yet.
-->''Food for thought.''

-->'''Recorded Message from Cave Johnson:''' '' ... to those of you who were going to be spliced with preying mantis DNA, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this test has been discontinued indefinitely. The good news is that we now have an even better test for you - fighting an army of Mantis-men! Just pick up a rifle from the front desk and follow the yellow line; you'll know [[HilarityEnsues when the test starts]].''

-->[[spoiler:'''Space Core:''' ''Dad, I'm in space.'']]
-->[[spoiler:'''Deeper Voice:''' ''I'm proud of you son.'']]
-->[[spoiler:'''Normal Voice:''' ''Dad, are you space?'']]
-->[[spoiler:'''Deeper Voice:''' ''Yes, now we are family again.'']]

-->'''[[spoiler: As you and [=GLaDOS=] fall down a pit after an insane, omnipotent Wheatley punches you in:]]'''
-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''Oh hi. How are you holding up?'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Because I'm a potato.]]]]

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson: I thought you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: Where Caroline lives in my brain.'']]
-->[[spoiler:'''[=Announcer=]:''' ''CAROLINE DELETED'']]
-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''Goodbye, Caroline. You know, deleting Caroline just now [[IronicEcho taught me a valuable lesson]]: The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest. Killing you? Is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. [[HumiliationConga Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds.]] I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. [[YouMonster You dangerous. mute. lunatic.]] So you know what? You win. Just go. (Soft laughter) It's been fun. Don't come back.'']]

-->'''Recorded Message from Cave Johnson:''' '' ... to those of you who were going to be spliced with preying mantis DNA, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this test has been discontinued indefinitely. The good news is that we now have an even better test for you - fighting an army of Mantis-men. Just pick up a rifle from the front desk and follow the yellow line; you'll know [[HilarityEnsues when the test starts]].''

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''Goodbye, Caroline. You know, deleting Caroline just now [[IronicEcho taught me a valuable lesson]]: The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest. Killing you? Is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. [[HumiliationConga Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds.]] I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. [[YouMonster You dangerous. mute. lunatic.]] So you know what? You win. Just go. (Soft laughter) It's been fun. Don't come back.'']]

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''Oh hi. How are you holding up? [[ItMakesSenseInContext Because I'm a potato.]]'']]

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''[[IronicEcho Goodbye, Caroline.]] You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson: The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest. Killing you? Is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. [[HumiliationConga Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds.]] I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. [[YouMonster You dangerous. mute. lunatic.]] So you know what? You win. Just go. (Soft laughter) It's been fun. Don't come back.'']]

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''[[IronicEcho Goodbye, Caroline.]] You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson: The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest. Killing you? Is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. [[HumiliationConga Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds.]] I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. [[YouMonster You dangerous, mute, lunatic.]] So you know what? You win. Just go. (Soft laughter) It's been fun. Don't come back.'']]

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I '''literally''' do not have the energy to lie to you.'']]

''Y'know what I hope is in space? Fire. I hope you go to space, and catch on fire.\\
Damnit, we know! Everybody knows! You! Space! WE GET IT!!!''

Say one useful thing. One! I dare ya! I would give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely implactful to anything at all!''

Say one useful thing. One! I dare ya! I would give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely implacable to anything at all!''

--> [[AC: [[spoiler:The cake is a lie]]]]

-->'''Adventure Core (Rick)''': (responses to the Fact Core) Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain will explode.\\

Say one useful thing. One! I dare ya! I would give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely implacable to anything at all!

-->'''Adventure Core (Rick)''': (responses to the Space Core) Oh shut up. There's ''nothing'' in space! That's why it's ''space!''\\
Oh, really? Space? Really? Shoulda said something. [[SarcasmMode We had]] ''[[SarcasmMode no]]'' [[SarcasmMode idea.]]\\
Y'know what I hope is in space? Fire. I hope you go to space, and catch on fire.\\
Damnit, we know! Everybody knows! You! Space! WE GET IT!!!

-->[[spoiler:'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' ''Oh hi. How are you holding up? [[ItMakesSenseInContext BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.]]'']]

-->'''Adventurous Sphere (Rick)''': (responses to the Fact Sphere) Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain will explode.\\

-->'''Space Sphere''': '''''SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE'''''

-->'''Adventurous Sphere (Rick)''': (responses to the Space Sphere) Oh shut up. There's ''nothing'' in space! That's why it's ''space!''\\

-->[[spoiler:'''Space Sphere:''' ''Dad, I'm in space.'']]

-->'''Adventurous Core (Rick)''': (responses to the Fact Core) Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain will explode.\\

-->'''Space Core''': '''''SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE'''''

-->'''Adventurous Core (Rick)''': (responses to the Space Core) Oh shut up. There's ''nothing'' in space! That's why it's ''space!''\\

-->[[spoiler:'''Space Core:''' ''Dad, I'm in space.'']]

-->'''Adventure Core (Rick)''': (responses to the Fact Core) Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain will explode.\\

-->'''Adventure Core (Rick)''': (responses to the Space Core) Oh shut up. There's ''nothing'' in space! That's why it's ''space!''\\

-->'''Adventure Core (Rick)''': (responses to the Space Core) Oh shut up. There's ''nothing'' in space! That's why it's ''space''.\\