History for Quotes/PedophilePriest

Added: 342

Apr 21st 2024 at 2:14:28 AM

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->''"He will blame you for his sin\\
The devil without, and the devil within\\
From his lair they call a church\\
He has the power to pervert\\
He has the right to rape and bugger\\
For God the Father, and Mary the Mother\\
In Christ's name he shall pervert\\
It takes a priest to unleash the beast"''
-->--'''Music/InkubusSukkubus''', "Preacher Man"

NotGonnaDoALot4

Added: 225

Jul 17th 2023 at 8:04:18 AM

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->'''Dan:''' ''[narrating]'' My name is Clements. I used to be a priest. Not much use for those nowadays.\\
'''Ross:''' Not with all these little boys gone!
-->--''WebVideo/SteamTrain'''s playthrough of ''VideoGame/OrganTrail''

NotGonnaDoALot4

Added: 285

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Oct 27th 2022 at 7:49:46 AM

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Added line(s) 54,55 (click to see context) :

[[AC:Video Game]]
->''"Correct me if I'm wrong, but is Saul's bedroom any place for a drugged, young altar boy? I think he's evidence enough for me to [[PayEvilUntoEvil send Saul back to Hell]]!"''
-->-- '''Vile''', ''[[VideoGame/Reincarnation2008 Reincarnation: The Clergy of Unholy]]''

Changed line(s) 54,55 (click to see context) from:

-->-- '''Alucard,''' ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

to:

-->-- ~~'''Alucard,'''~~ '''Alucard''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

MurlocAggroB

Changed: 9

Oct 22nd 2022 at 5:43:19 PM

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Correcting the lyrics.

Changed line(s) 28,29 (click to see context) from:

Put my trust in god that day\\
Not the man that got his way\\

to:

Put my trust in ~~god~~ God that day\\
Not the man that ~~got his~~ taught His way\\

SenorCornholio

Added: 105

Changed: 2

May 2nd 2022 at 12:03:17 PM

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Changed line(s) 78 (click to see context) from:

'''Guru:''' Do I look Catholic to you?

to:

'''Guru:''' Do I look Catholic to ~~you?~~you?\\
'''Nail:''' Sir, I think he means he wants you to release his hidden potential.\\
'''Gohan:''' Yeah, that.

DemonDuckofDoom

Added: 172

Dec 31st 2020 at 1:21:36 AM

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->''"I was eleven. And I was preyed upon by father David Holly in Wester. And I don't mean prayed for, I mean preyed upon."''
-->--'''Phil Saviano''', ''Film/{{Spotlight}}''

DemonDuckofDoom

Added: 234

Dec 31st 2020 at 1:10:42 AM

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->''"They say it's just physical abuse but it's more than that, this was spiritual abuse. You know why I went along with everything? Because priests are supposed to be the good guys."''
-->--'''Peter Canellos''', ''Film/{{Spotlight}}''

NotGonnaDoALot4

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Nov 10th 2020 at 5:10:42 PM

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->''And then the Christian Right stepped up in the form of [[TheFundamentalist Donny Benson, superconservative leader of the National Bible Truths Foundation]]. He'd battled with us before, but we thought Donny was too Christian to kick us while we were down. We were wrong. (My one consolation is that Donny got caught a few weeks later in a hotel room with a ball gag, a blindfold, an electrical-stimulation kit, and a teenage boy.)''
-->--''Literature/TheDayTheMusicDied''

intastiel

Added: 1817

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Jun 27th 2020 at 10:52:18 PM

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Sorting quotes into headers.

Added line(s) 6,33 (click to see context) :

[[AC:Comedy]]
->''When Jesus said "[[Literature/TheFourGospels suffer the little children, come unto me,]]" that's ''not'' what he was talking about!''
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', ''Back in Town''.

[[AC:Film]]

Changed line(s) 6,33 (click to see context) from:

->Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]
-->--'''Alucard,''' ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

->What do I do? What do I do? I could try seducing him... wait, I'm not an eight year-old boy, shit!
-->--'''Seras''', regarding [[BadassPreacher Anderson]], ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

->'''Alucard:''' Honestly, if you're going to have a dick-fighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the [[TeenyWeenie world's cruelest handicap]]. Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet. Which was paid for how? Oh, right! Generous donations from your followers to spread the Word of God. ''All over his back.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 3

->'''Priest:''' Oh, but I had no choice! They made it impossible to say no!\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, who could resist the temptation of immortality?\\
'''Priest:''' Amongst...other things...\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, they didn't. What, did they just drive a truck of them up to your house?!\\
'''Priest:''' [''stammers wordlessly'']\\
'''Maxwell:''' ''Wow.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 4 Preview

->Hey there, padre, how's little Timmy? You know what's good for getting cum stains out of altar boy robes? ''Holy water!!'' Did you miss me?!
-->--'''Alucard''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'' Episode 8

->'''Anderson''': Any last words, ''monster''?\\
'''Alucard''': Have you ever thought about carbonating the blood of Christ? You know, give the kids something fizzy to drink, before they wake up in an hour.
-->--''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 8

->'''Gohan:''' Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.
->'''Guru:''' Do I look Catholic to you?
-->--''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

to:

->Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]
-->--'''Alucard,''' ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

->What do [[AC:Live-Action TV]]
->''"When I do? What do I do? I could try seducing him... wait, I'm not an eight year-old boy, shit!
-->--'''Seras''', regarding [[BadassPreacher Anderson]], ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

->'''Alucard:''' Honestly, if you're going to have a dick-fighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the [[TeenyWeenie world's cruelest handicap]]. Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained was growin' up in ~~your private Vatican jet. Which was paid for how? Oh, right! Generous donations from your followers to spread~~ Ireland, if the ~~Word~~ priests ''weren't'' fiddlin' with you, you were one of ~~God. ''All over his back.''~~
the ugly kids."''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 3

->'''Priest:''' Oh, but I had no choice! They made it impossible to say no!\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, who could resist the temptation of immortality?\\
'''Priest:''' Amongst...other things...\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, they didn't. What, did they just drive a truck of them up to your house?!\\
'''Priest:''' [''stammers wordlessly'']\\
'''Maxwell:''' ''Wow.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 4 Preview

->Hey there, padre, how's little Timmy? You know what's good for getting cum stains out of altar boy robes? ''Holy water!!'' Did you miss me?!
-->--'''Alucard''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'' Episode 8

->'''Anderson''': Any last words, ''monster''?\\
'''Alucard''': Have you ever thought about carbonating the blood of Christ? You know, give the kids something fizzy to drink, before they wake up in an hour.
-->--''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 8

->'''Gohan:''' Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.
->'''Guru:''' Do I look Catholic to you?
-->--''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''
'''Nathan''', ''Series/{{Misfits}}''

[[AC:Music]]

Changed line(s) 64,68 (click to see context) from:

->''"When I was growin' up in Ireland, if the priests ''weren't'' fiddlin' with you, you were one of the ugly kids."''
-->--'''Nathan''', ''Series/{{Misfits}}''

->''When Jesus said "[[Literature/TheFourGospels suffer the little children, come unto me,]]" that's ''not'' what he was talking about!''
-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', ''Back in Town''.

to:

~~->''"When~~ [[AC:Web Original]]
->''"Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]"''
-->-- '''Alucard,''' ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

->''"What do I ~~was growin'~~ do? What do I do? I could try seducing him... wait, I'm not an eight year-old boy, shit!"''
-->-- '''Seras''', regarding [[BadassPreacher Anderson]], ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

->'''Alucard:''' Honestly, if you're going to have a dick-fighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the [[TeenyWeenie world's cruelest handicap]]. Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained up in ~~Ireland, if~~ your private Vatican jet. Which was paid for how? Oh, right! Generous donations from your followers to spread the ~~priests ''weren't'' fiddlin' with you, you were one~~ Word of God. ''All over his back.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 3

->'''Priest:''' Oh, but I had no choice! They made it impossible to say no!\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, who could resist the ugly kids."''
-->--'''Nathan''', ''Series/{{Misfits}}''

->''When Jesus said "[[Literature/TheFourGospels suffer the temptation of immortality?\\
'''Priest:''' Amongst...other things...\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, they didn't. What, did they just drive a truck of them up to your house?!\\
'''Priest:''' ''[stammers wordlessly]''\\
'''Maxwell:''' ''Wow.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 4 Preview

->''"Hey there, padre, how's little children, come unto me,]]" that's ''not'' what he was talking about!''
-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', ''Back Timmy? You know what's good for getting cum stains out of altar boy robes? ''Holy water!!'' Did you miss me?!"''
-->-- '''Alucard''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'' Episode 8

->'''Anderson''': Any last words, ''monster''?\\
'''Alucard''': Have you ever thought about carbonating the blood of Christ? You know, give the kids something fizzy to drink, before they wake up in ~~Town''.~~an hour.
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 8

->'''Gohan:''' Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.\\
'''Guru:''' Do I look Catholic to you?
-->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

WilliamRadarStorm

Changed: 3

May 30th 2020 at 12:07:55 PM

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Changed line(s) 68 (click to see context) from:

-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin, ''Back in Town''.

to:

~~-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin,~~ -->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', ''Back in Town''.

WilliamRadarStorm

Added: 184

May 30th 2020 at 12:07:38 PM

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->''When Jesus said "[[Literature/TheFourGospels suffer the little children, come unto me,]]" that's ''not'' what he was talking about!''
-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin, ''Back in Town''.

Zaptech

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Mar 12th 2019 at 8:27:05 AM

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->'''Gohan:''' Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.
->'''Guru:''' Do I look Catholic to you?
-->--''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

intastiel

Added: 159

Jan 10th 2019 at 3:39:48 PM

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->''"When I was growin' up in Ireland, if the priests ''weren't'' fiddlin' with you, you were one of the ugly kids."''
-->--'''Nathan''', ''Series/{{Misfits}}''

CerotechOmega

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Dec 28th 2018 at 2:51:23 PM

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Changed line(s) 15,20 (click to see context) from:

->'''Priest:''' Oh, but I had no choice! They made it impossible to say no!
->'''Maxwell:''' Oh, who could resist the temptation of immortality?
->'''Priest:''' Amongst...other things...
->'''Maxwell:''' Oh, they didn't. What, did they just drive a truck of them up to your house?!
->'''Priest:''' [''stammers wordlessly'']
->'''Maxwell:''' ''Wow.''

to:

->'''Priest:''' Oh, but I had no choice! They made it impossible to say no!
->'''Maxwell:''' no!\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, who could resist the temptation of immortality?
->'''Priest:''' immortality?\\
'''Priest:''' Amongst...other things...
->'''Maxwell:''' things...\\
'''Maxwell:''' Oh, they didn't. What, did they just drive a truck of them up to your house?!
->'''Priest:''' house?!\\
'''Priest:''' [''stammers wordlessly'']
->'''Maxwell:''' wordlessly'']\\
'''Maxwell:''' ''Wow.''

Changed line(s) 23,24 (click to see context) from:

->'''Anderson''': Any last words, ''monster''?
->'''Alucard''': Have you ever thought about carbonating the blood of Christ? You know, give the kids something fizzy to drink, before they wake up in an hour.

to:

->Hey there, padre, how's little Timmy? You know what's good for getting cum stains out of altar boy robes? ''Holy water!!'' Did you miss me?!
-->--'''Alucard''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'' Episode 8

->'''Anderson''': Any last words, ''monster''?
->'''Alucard''': ''monster''?\\
'''Alucard''': Have you ever thought about carbonating the blood of Christ? You know, give the kids something fizzy to drink, before they wake up in an hour.

Dravencour

Changed: 2

Dec 24th 2018 at 4:02:14 PM

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Changed line(s) 13,14 (click to see context) from:

-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 4

to:

-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 4
3

Dravencour

Changed: 77

Dec 24th 2018 at 4:00:05 PM

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-->--'''Alucard,''' ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

to:

-->--'''Alucard,''' ~~''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''~~
''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

Changed line(s) 10,11 (click to see context) from:

-->--'''Seras''', regarding [[BadassPreacher Anderson]], ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

to:

-->--'''Seras''', regarding [[BadassPreacher Anderson]], ~~''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''~~
''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 1

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-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

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-->-- ~~''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''~~
''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 4

Changed line(s) 21,23 (click to see context) from:

-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

->'''Anderson''': Any last words, vampire?

to:

-->-- ~~''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''~~

''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 4 Preview

->'''Anderson''': Any last words, ~~vampire?~~''monster''?

Changed line(s) 25,26 (click to see context) from:

-->--''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

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~~-->--''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''~~
-->--''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'', Episode 8

Zaptech

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Dec 7th 2018 at 3:59:04 PM

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->What do I do? What do I do? I could try seducing him... wait, I'm not an eight year-old boy, shit!
-->--'''Seras''', regarding [[BadassPreacher Anderson]], ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

NineballCirno

Changed: 24

Nov 25th 2018 at 6:23:15 PM

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Red Links

Changed line(s) 33,34 (click to see context) from:

-->-- '''Creator/BillyTalent''', "Devil In a Midnight Mass"

to:

-->-- ~~'''Creator/BillyTalent''',~~ '''Music/BillyTalent''', "Devil In a Midnight Mass"

Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:

-->-- '''Creator/{{Epica}}''', "Cry for the Moon"

to:

-->-- ~~'''Creator/{{Epica}}''',~~ '''Music/{{Epica}}''', "Cry for the Moon"

Zaptech

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Jul 27th 2018 at 6:42:34 PM

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->'''Anderson''': Any last words, vampire?
->'''Alucard''': Have you ever thought about carbonating the blood of Christ? You know, give the kids something fizzy to drink, before they wake up in an hour.
-->--''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

Zaptech

Changed: 4

Jul 27th 2018 at 6:41:12 PM

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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:

->''Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]''

to:

~~->''Suddenly~~ ->Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise ~~Progress!]]''~~Progress!]]

Zaptech

Added: 446

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Jul 27th 2018 at 6:41:03 PM

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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:

->'''Alucard:''' Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]

to:

~~->'''Alucard:''' Suddenly~~ ->''Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise ~~Progress!]]~~Progress!]]''
-->--'''Alucard,''' ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

->'''Alucard:''' Honestly, if you're going to have a dick-fighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the [[TeenyWeenie world's cruelest handicap]]. Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet. Which was paid for how? Oh, right! Generous donations from your followers to spread the Word of God. ''All over his back.''

Deleted line(s) 9,11 (click to see context) :

nombretomado

Changed: 12

Mar 7th 2018 at 12:43:31 PM

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Changed line(s) 39,40 (click to see context) from:

-->-- '''Creator/TimMinchin''', "The Pope Song"

to:

-->-- ~~'''Creator/TimMinchin''',~~ '''Music/TimMinchin''', "The Pope Song"

Dravencour

Changed: 1

Apr 16th 2017 at 4:16:45 AM

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Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:

-->-- '''Creator/{{Epica}}'', "Cry for the Moon"

to:

-->-- ~~'''Creator/{{Epica}}'',~~ '''Creator/{{Epica}}''', "Cry for the Moon"

Dravencour

Changed: 19

Removed: 2

Apr 16th 2017 at 4:16:28 AM

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Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:

And if you don't like the swearing that this motherfucker forced from me\\

to:

And if you don't like the ~~swearing~~ [[ClusterFBomb swearing]] that this motherfucker forced from me\\

Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:

When one is fucking cross about fuckers fucking boys!

to:

When one is fucking cross about fuckers fucking ~~boys!~~boys!''

Deleted line(s) 45 (click to see context) :

Dravencour

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Apr 16th 2017 at 4:15:38 AM

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Changed line(s) 6,7 (click to see context) from:

->'''Alucard:''' Suddenly it reeks of hypocrisy in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic church. And what's this? No little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]

to:

\n->'''Alucard:''' Suddenly it reeks of ~~hypocrisy~~ ''hypocrisy'' in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic ~~church.~~ Church! And what's this? No ~~little~~ Little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]

Added DiffLines:

->'''Alucard:''' Honestly, if you're going to have a dick-fighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the [[TeenyWeenie world's cruelest handicap]]. Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet. Which was paid for how? Oh, right! Generous donations from your followers to spread the Word of God. ''All over his back.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

->'''Priest:''' Oh, but I had no choice! They made it impossible to say no!
->'''Maxwell:''' Oh, who could resist the temptation of immortality?
->'''Priest:''' Amongst...other things...
->'''Maxwell:''' Oh, they didn't. What, did they just drive a truck of them up to your house?!
->'''Priest:''' [''stammers wordlessly'']
->'''Maxwell:''' ''Wow.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

->''A devil in a midnight mass\\
Killed the boy inside the man\\
The holy water in his hands\\
Can never wash away his sins\\
Hold your breath and count to four\\
Pinky swears don't work no more\\
Put my trust in god that day\\
Not the man that got his way\\
I was alive but now I'm singing''
-->-- '''Creator/BillyTalent''', "Devil In a Midnight Mass"

->''Fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you, motherfucker\\
If you think that motherfucker is sacred.\\
If you cover for another motherfucker who's a kiddy fucker,\\
Fuck you, you're no better than the motherfucking rapist.\\
And if you don't like the swearing that this motherfucker forced from me\\
Or reckon it shows moral or intellectual paucity,\\
Then fuck you, motherfucker! This is language one employs\\
When one is fucking cross about fuckers fucking boys!
-->-- '''Creator/TimMinchin''', "The Pope Song"

->''Virginity has been stolen at very young ages\\
And the extinguisher loses its immunity\\
Morbid abuse of power in the Garden of Eden\\
Where the apple gets a youthful face, a youthful face\\
\\
Eternal silence cries out for justice\\
Forgiveness is not for sale\\
Nor is the will to forget''
-->-- '''Creator/{{Epica}}'', "Cry for the Moon"

Doug86

Changed: 9

Dec 17th 2015 at 11:49:06 PM

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Changed line(s) 8,9 (click to see context) from:

-->-- ''HellsingUltimateAbridged''

to:

-->-- ~~''HellsingUltimateAbridged''~~
''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

bificommander

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Aug 17th 2015 at 9:05:15 AM

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->'''Alucard:''' Suddenly it reeks of hypocrisy in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic church. And what's this? No little Timmy glued to your crotch? [[DamnedByFaintPraise Progress!]]
-->-- ''HellsingUltimateAbridged''

StFan

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Changed: 20

Oct 12th 2012 at 3:24:13 PM

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Changed line(s) 1,4 (click to see context) from:

->'''Dana Scully''': And you think God hears your prayers?
->'''Father Joe''': You think he hears yours?
->'''Dana Scully''': I didn't bugger 37 altar boys.
-->--''TheXFilesIWantToBelieve''

to:

->'''Dana ~~Scully''':~~ Scully:''' And you think God hears your prayers?
->'''Father Joe''': prayers?\\
'''Father Joe:''' You think he hears yours?
->'''Dana Scully''': yours?\\
'''Dana Scully:''' I didn't bugger 37 altar boys.
~~-->--''TheXFilesIWantToBelieve''~~-->-- ''Film/TheXFilesIWantToBelieve''
----

Belfagor

Added: 186

Apr 21st 2012 at 3:36:44 AM

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->'''Dana Scully''': And you think God hears your prayers?
->'''Father Joe''': You think he hears yours?
->'''Dana Scully''': I didn't bugger 37 altar boys.
-->--''TheXFilesIWantToBelieve''

History Quotes / PedophilePriest