History Quotes / Padding

-> (While a group of stranded astronauts are silently trekking through a desert... not for the first time, or the last time.)

-> '''Bill'''': More wandering through the desert than [[Literature/TheBible the Book of Exodus!]]

-> (While a group of stranded astronauts are silently trekking through a desert... not for the first time, or last time.)

-> (While a group of stranded astronauts are trekking silently through a desert... not for the first time, or last time.)

-> '''Mike''': More walking about than the movie Walkabout!

[[folder:Blogs]]

->''Oh my goodness, guys, I don’t want to jinx it, but I think … I think … this ''ComicStrip/ApartmentThreeG'' storyline might ''finally'' be over... Looks like all’s well that’s ended well after weeks and weeks and weeks of literally nothing happening, oh God, so many weeks, so many nothings.''
-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''', [[http://joshreads.com/?p=23372 "Lily has BLEATed Her Way to Survival"]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]

->"Let's not get episodic, okay, old timer? ''Beginning. Middle. End. Facts. Details. Condense. Plot.'' Tell it."
-->--'''Seymour Simmons''', ''Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen''

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
->"[[EngagingChevrons Scan, scan, scan.]] That's all you people ever do! I've been through every deck on this ship and do you know what I've seen? Bipeds pushing buttons! Bipeds replacing relays! Bipeds running diagnostics! When are you going to do something ''interesting?''"
-->-- '''[=Q2=]''', ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''

->"I really think there's more 'nothing' in this movie than in any movie we've seen."
-->-- '''Mike'''[='s=] verdict on ''Film/TheStarfighters'', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''

[[folder:Music]]

->(You talk too much)\\
''You never shut up''\\
(I said you talk too much)\\
''Homeboy you never shut up''
-->--"You Talk Too Much", '''Music/RunDMC'''

->''Oh, my, my, shit\\
Everybody talks, everybody talks\\
Everybody talks too much''
-->--"Everybody Talks", '''Neon Trees'''

[[folder:Newspapers]]

->''You know a movie is in trouble when you start looking at your watch. You know it's in bad trouble when you start shaking your watch because you think it might have stopped.''
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Her Alibi'' (1989)

[[folder:Radio]]

->''"Make sure you arrive an hour late so you don't miss out on all the good bits."''
-->-- '''Radio/MartinMolloy''' review of ''Film/{{Titanic|1997}}''

[[folder:Web Animation]]

->"You know why this game is on three discs? Not because it’s a complex roller-coaster of an epic. It's because it's ''padded like a [[{{Wangst}} menstruating]] fire hose.''"
-->-- '''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII''

->"And the confrontation with the big boss isn't even the climax! The game just potters around for another mission to pad out the ''pathetic'' playtime, constantly checking its watch before going, 'fuck it, that'll do.' And [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I swear this is true:]] the {{final boss}} fight is ''two dogs.'' The biggest threat in the game [[{{Anticlimax}} could have been outwitted by chucking a fucking Bonio at it.]]"
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/KaneAndLynch 2: Dog Days''

->"''... and the rest of the Book is dedicated to Hephaestus making Achilles new duds. In BOOK NINETEEN Achilles PUTS ON his new duds [such drama!]... yeah, this Epic kind of drags on in places..."
-->-- '''WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions''' summarizes ''Literature/TheIliad''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]

->''This movie is slower than the checkout line with the woman reading the bodice ripper and paying with a check.''
-->--'''[[http://spoonyexperiment.com/tenchi-muyo/ Christopher Kinsey]]''' on ''Anime/TenchiMuyo''

->''Real life Creator/WoodyAllen must have suffered a brain injury because he thought this movie had so much material, he couldn’t possible trim this from 112 minutes. Just for some perspective, ''Film/CrimesAndMisdemeanors,'' a philosophical musing about morality and justice in the universe is about 100 minutes. This movie about [[{{Slapstick}} Woody bumping into chairs]] is 12 minutes longer than that... No no, please Woody, I want the three hour extended edition please.''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[https://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/hollywood-ending-2002-woody-allen/ on]] ''Film/HollywoodEnding'' (2002)

->'''Chris:''' As you may have realized by this point, this movie is kind of poorly written. But hey, please enjoy two minutes of slapstick as Barb Wire's dog [[GroinAttack eats a dude's penis]] in the next scene!\\
'''Matt:''' And, really, that whole scene is the dog bites the guy in the crotch. It is the epitome of a DVD deleted scene. But here it is, in the movie... This movie should not only really get going 40 minutes in. It does not earn that at all. ''Casablanca'' can totally do that. It's got atmosphere like crazy and it's really enjoyable to hang out with Rick and Ugarte for a while. It more than earns its deliberate pacing. ''Barb Wire'' is a 138-minute movie that should be about 50.
-->-- '''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/barb-wire-pamela-anderson-movie-review-part-1/ on]] ''Film/BarbWire''

->''Data reports the cave is unstable. [[CaptainObvious Glad you're here, Professor]]. The shaking and falling rocks didn't tip me off at all. He goes with Worf and Picard to find an escape route. They blow out a wall, revealing... more caves! Which Picard suggests they head for. In screenwriting, this is generally known as "padding". For those less than cinematically inclined, just picture this: term paper due in thirty minutes. 100 words away from the minimum length. You get the picture.''
-->-- ''Website/TheAgonyBooth'' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Star_Trek__Insurrection.aspx on]] ''Film/StarTrekInsurrection''

->'''Viceroy:''' ''[on viewscreen]'' Hello, I'm a [[DarthVaderClone big scary-looking alien.]] Sorry to keep you waiting in orbit for 17 hours, but our great leader is dying and he will be wormfood in another day or so. That's why [[BondVillainStupidity we chose theatrics over haste.]]
-->-- '''[[http://www.stardestroyer.net/Nemesis/Pictorial-4.html Adam Wong]]''' on ''Film/StarTrekNemesis''

->''Mulder chats to his cellmate in what must be one of the most blatant examples of empty dialogue and Scully examines a rock. Yes, it's that riveting... I'd lost the plot at this point and was swiveling around on my chair because that was the more interesting option.''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/the-x-files-season-four_17.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/TheXFiles'', "Terma"

->'Clark has to "let go" of his past, just as Oliver has to "let go" of his self-doubt. They both have to "[[CareBearStare find the strength within]]". Oddly, however, Oliver had never really before seemed especially self-doubtful, and Clark has reached this conclusion [[AesopAmnesia so many times now]] it's become embarrassing.''
-->--'''[[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville10-ep20#marc Marc Pritchard]]''' on ''Series/{{Smallville}}'', "Propecy"

->''This was not a 1 episode. There were redeeming qualities. As usual, they occur at the beginning and at the end of the episode, when nothing about the episode in question is really happening, but rather, when [[CharacterDevelopment character motion]] slugs forward... I often wonder what the length of the actual character segments of this show would add up to. If someone were to cut them all together using Windows Media Player or something, it would probably give us a good three or four hours of work.''
-->-- '''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville5-ep14 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'', "Tomb"

->''It's just the Doctor playing the Trilogic Game for four episodes while Steven and Dodo meander through a series of arbitrary deadly challenges. The reason it's four episodes long is... that's how long it is. It could have been one. It could have been three hundred. It doesn't matter, because the plot does not build at all, at any point, anywhere in the entire episode. They just eventually run out of games and go free.''
-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2011/04/most-totally-closed-mind-celestial.html Dr. El Sandifer]]''' on [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS3E7TheCelestialToymaker}} "The Celestial Toymaker"]]

->''This was the year TV critics finally realized that having a lot of dialogue [[Series/TheNewsroom does not equal]] having good dialogue. ZOMG SO MANY WORDS HOW DOES [[Creator/AaronSorkin SORKIN]] DO IT?
-->--'''[[http://www.gq.com/entertainment/celebrities/201212/least-influential-people-2012#slide=18 Drew Magary]]''', "The 25 Least Influential People of 2012"

->''[[Wrestling/RandySavage Macho]] is out in a flash threatening to beat up Sapphire, but then our jiggly hero, Wrestling/DustyRhodes comes to her rescue and they beat up Brother Love and spend about 5 minutes in the ring just [[GratuitousDiscoSequence dancing for no reason.]]\\\
I used to think that segments like this only happened these days. I’m relieved to see that they are a part of wrestling’s history and entirely inescapable. Jesus.''
-->--'''''[[http://cewshreviews.blogspot.com/2010/01/wwf-royal-rumble-1990.html Cewsh Reviews]]''''' ''Royal Rumble 1988''

->''If this keeps up, Charles Nelson Reilly is going to sue me for using [[https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0c/3e/59/0c3e5975b6c91b6b2fd050582649ccae.jpg his image]] so much.''
-->--'''''[[http://www.ddtdigest.com/updates/2000121m.htm DDT]]''''' on ''Wrestling/WCWMondayNitro''

->''It was shaping up to be an amusing episode of ''{{Series/Raw}}''. Yes, it was extremely thin on action, but sometimes you’ve got to tease the audience to convince them to buy the upcoming pay-per-view, especially ''Wrestling/{{WrestleMania}}''... oh right, this *was* ''[=WrestleMania=].
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/induction-wrestlemania-xv-russomania/ "Wrestlemania XV - Russomania!"]]

->''Hiro gets a love interest. [[RomanticPlotTumor And then another love interest. And then one more sort-of love interest.]] Claire [[IJustWantToBeNormal wants to be normal]] and lets us know that through [[StatusQuoIsGod 6 billion rehashed arguments with her father]]. Sylar turns good. [[HeelFaceRevolvingDoor Then bad. Then good.]] Then ... something with a carnival. It was never really spelled out for us where these characters were going and why we needed to feel a sense of urgency for them to get there. They were just kind of doing things. [[MundaneUtility With powers]].''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''' on ''{{Series/Heroes}}'', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-new-season-heroes-can-avoid-sucking/ "4 Ways the New Season of Heroes Can Avoid Sucking"]]

->''It's here that Chloe has the flight attendant summon her father to hear her "extremely good news." We cut back to Rayford's point of view because this is how'' [co-author Jerry] ''Jenkins works: If Chloe sends her father a message, the next scene has to be of her father receiving that same message. This is part of his secret formula for cramming a 200-page novel into a mere 468 pages.''
-->-- '''Fred Clark''' [[http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2008/02/08/lb-losing-chloe/ critiquing]] ''[[Literature/LeftBehind Left Behind: A Novel of the Earth's Last Days]]''

->''[VideoGame/BanjoTooie] has its moments, but Rare's mentality while making this game must have [been] "Big levels are great, so TOTALLY FREAKING GINORMOUS LEVELS must be TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME" and the game spreads itself too thin.''
-->--'''{{Blog/Codiekitty}}'''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Videos]]

->"You could make trading cards out of the number of pointless scenes from this movie."
-->--'''''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''''' on ''Film/TheRoom''

->"Brace yourself for two movies so unnecessarily long that they include [[ProductPlacement five Volvo commercials]], two montages of the previous ''Twilight'' movies, four games of chess, and ''the most. [[HeldGaze Stares]]. Ever''."
-->-- '''''WebVideo/HonestTrailers''''' on ''{{Film/Twilight}}: Breaking Dawn (Parts 1 and 2)''

->"Y'see, a guy named [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare William Shakesman]] once said, "Brevity is the soul of wit."\\\
This just means ''[[LaymansTerms don't waste my time.]]'' Ya keep it ''nice and simple!''\\\
''(cut to Creator/GeorgeLucas playing with his Gungan figurines)''\\\
I said ''stop'' wasting my time. STOP IT!"
-->--'''WebVideo/RedLetterMedia''' on ''Film/ThePhantomMenace''

->'''Jack:''' This movie felt to me like those papers that you wrote in high school, and those papers had to be two pages long and so you made your font a little bit bigger and you put two point spacing in between all of-\\
'''Jay:''' You put 2.5. That tricks them every time 'cause it's just a little bit wider.\\
'''Jack:''' Just make everything a little bit bigger.
-->-- ''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst'' on ''Film/{{ROTOR}}''

->"Then it cuts to him like, oh my God. That scene where Harry Osborn goes and talks to his dad, who's dying on his bed, and it's like, "Okay, here's the scene: You're disappointed in the dad and now you're gonna become evil." And it's like ten minutes long and it's just them talking back and forth. I started playing Poker on my phone. I did! I started playing Hold'em on my phone. I really did. I was just sitting there; I was just so bored. And there were so many scenes of talking and talking and talking; this movie was 2 hours and 22 minutes long."
-->-- '''Mike Stoklasa''', ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' on ''Film/TheAmazingSpiderMan2''

->"Meanwhile, Ramirez is still in Scotland (you can tell because in Scotland there's [[TheThemeParkVersion constant bagpipe music]])... He stops into a tailor for new suit, because when you return from death, you reappear in your old clothes. No money, but hey, your head's still attached; better than a kick in the nuts, I guess. He doesn't have any money but luckily he has a pearl earring which -- ''[beat]'' is [[WritersCannotDoMath worth nowhere near what a new suit would cost]]. Is all this necessary? Does this B-plot accomplish anything other than being annoying and raising more plot holes?"
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Film/HighlanderIITheQuickening''

->For the love of God! Cut half this shit out, c'mon!
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick''' on ''Film/{{Xanadu|1980}}''

->[[Music/MichaelJackson Cause this is FILLER!]] [[SongParody Filling up the time!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go5wle3_G5k An hour and a half is just too long for uncreative minds! Whoo! Whoo!]]
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''Film/{{Casper}}''

->Boy, this would be annoying if it were paired with a much more interesting and time-sensitive story.
-->-- '''Creator/AllisonPregler''', ''Baywatching'' ("Armored Car")

->This is gonna be a really short video. But it's a kinda short level, even for ''VideoGame/YoshisIsland'', it's -- [[BonusLevel Bonus challenge]]! Oh, well, okay, we can artificially pad things up with Bonus Challenge here. (Whew!)
-->-- '''LetsPlay/{{Raocow}}''', LetsPlay [[GameMod New]] VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld2YoshisIsland [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4bSALBZhr8 1-2]]

->You see, when you have this little footage, you apparently can't afford to cut any of it, so even though this movie is a scant ''62 minutes'', every scene goes on for-''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]]-ever''! That guy doing the bad Music/IggyPop impression? Forever! The fountain dance? Forever! [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnrDCVuU6YI This song]] lasts seven whole minutes, and it feels like ''hours''!
-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhvY19tdoSA on]] ''A Certain Sacrifice''

->"A big truck goes by and Howard shows signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as he panics and flashes back to his abduction. Which we saw ten minutes ago, and reflects a stress that is so severe...that it is never brought up again. Your movie is damn near two hours long. Hey, here's a thought - how about putting shit in there that actually has a point?"
-->--'''Website/SFDebris''' on ''Film/HowardTheDuck''

->"The game says it takes fourteen hours to complete. If you knew where to go, it'd take ''three''."
-->--'''WebVideo/{{Pyrocynical}}''' [[https://youtu.be/w7Se1iwsV48?t=11m20s on]] ''VideoGame/HuntDownTheFreeman''

->"Wait, I don't understand, the narration's done, but there's like ten more minutes of video?"
-->--'''WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}}''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oWk9gYSfME Dahir Insaat with TieTuesday: The Restaurant]]"

->"Yes, you're reading that correctly and it's no lie: ''72'' minutes. They went over an hour with this one. And if you're wondering how they came up with enough material to fill a 72 minute run time when they barely had enough to fill a 22 minute run-time [[WesternAnimation/TheChristmasLight last movie]], the answer is '''''they didn't'''''.
-->--'''Webvideo/{{Phelous}}''' on ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QUUBhYcFlo The Christmas Brigade]]''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
->"''Coming up next, we have nothing. We didn't have enough news to cover the whole show tonight, so I'm gonna say absolutely nothing in the cadence of a news story, and I hope I'll get away with it.''"
-->--'''Kip Schlezinger''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Real Life]]
->"The second one was kind of worse because it was longer and it was a holding pattern, because it went on for like 150 minutes and nothing happened. I mean a bunch of stuff happened but nothing actually happened, just a bunch of'' stuff ''happened."
-->--'''Creator/MarkKermode''' on ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanDeadMansChest''
[[/folder]]

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick''' on ''Film/{{Xanadu}}''

-->-- ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'', "Hypno's Naptime"

->"[[EngagingChevrons Scan, scan, scan.]] that's all you people ever do! I've been through every deck on this ship and do you know what I've seen? Bipeds pushing buttons! Bipeds replacing relays! Bipeds running diagnostics! When are you going to do something ''interesting?''"

->"Scan, scan, scan... that's all you people ever do! I've been through every deck on this ship and do you know what I've seen? Bipeds pushing buttons! Bipeds replacing relays! Bipeds running diagnostics! When are you going to do something ''interesting?''"

[[folder:Blog]]

->''Real life Creator/WoodyAllen must have suffered a brain injury because he thought this movie had so much material, he couldn’t possible trim this from 112 minutes. Just for some perspective, ''Film/CrimesAndMisdemeanors,'' a philosophical musing about morality and justice in the universe is about 100 minutes. This movie about Woody bumping into chairs is 12 minutes longer than that... No no, please Woody, I want the three hour extended edition please.''

->"And the confrontation with the big boss isn't even the climax! The game just potters around for another mission to pad out the ''pathetic'' playtime, constantly checking its watch before going, 'fuck it, that'll do.' And I swear this is true, the {{final boss} fight is ''two dogs.'' The biggest threat in the game [[{{Anticlimqx}} could have been outwitted by chucking a fucking Bonio at it.]]"

->Let's not get episodic, okay, old timer? ''Beginning. Middle. End. Facts. Details. Condense. Plot.'' Tell it.

->Scan, scan, scan... that's all you people ever do! I've been through every deck on this ship and do you know what I've seen? Bipeds pushing buttons! Bipeds replacing relays! Bipeds running diagnostics! When are you going to do something ''interesting?''

->I really think there's more 'nothing' in this movie than in any movie we've seen.

->You know a movie is in trouble when you start looking at your watch. You know it's in bad trouble when you start shaking your watch because you think it might have stopped.

->You know why this game is on three discs? Not because it’s a complex roller-coaster of an epic. It's because it's ''padded like a [[{{Wangst}} menstruating]] fire hose.''

->''... and the rest of the Book is dedicated to Hephaestus making Achilles new duds. In BOOK NINETEEN Achilles PUTS ON his new duds [such drama!]... yeah, this Epic kind of drags on in places...

->Oh my goodness, guys, I don’t want to jinx it, but I think … I think … this ''ComicStrip/ApartmentThreeG'' storyline might ''finally'' be over... Looks like all’s well that’s ended well after weeks and weeks and weeks of literally nothing happening, oh God, so many weeks, so many nothings.
-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''', [[http://joshreads.com/?p=23372 "Lily has BLEATed Her Way to Survival"]]

->This movie is slower than the checkout line with the woman reading the bodice ripper and paying with a check.

->Here is the movie. Some government guy comes up to Henry and tells him to give the government some steel and Henry tells him to piss off cause capitalism. Then Henry complains and someone asks 'Who is John Galt?' and someone disappears like there is some [[TheAdjectivalSuperhero Objectivist Batman]] running around or something. Another person comes to Henry asking him for steel and he tells him to piss off. Henry complains and someone tells Atlas to shrug. Then another person tells Henry to give the steel, then lather, then Henry has the court asking him for steel, then rinse, then more government people ask for steel, then repeat. I had it all wrong a few paragraphs ago. This movie isn’t slow in telling a story, it is an endless loop. Ayn Rand is Music/SelenaGomez, she [[WaxingLyrical loves this plot point like a love song, and she keeps hitting re-peatpeatpeatpeatpeat.]] Oh god, this review has me quoting Selena Gomez.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/atlas-shrugged-part-ii-the-strike-2012-john-putch/ on]] ''Film/AtlasShrugged Part II: The Strike''

->Data reports the cave is unstable. [[CaptainObvious Glad you're here, Professor]]. The shaking and falling rocks didn't tip me off at all. He goes with Worf and Picard to find an escape route. They blow out a wall, revealing... more caves! Which Picard suggests they head for. In screenwriting, this is generally known as "padding". For those less than cinematically inclined, just picture this: term paper due in thirty minutes. 100 words away from the minimum length. You get the picture.

->Mulder chats to his cellmate in what must be one of the most blatant examples of empty dialogue and Scully examines a rock. Yes, it's that riveting... I'd lost the plot at this point and was swiveling around on my chair because that was the more interesting option.

->Clark has to "let go" of his past, just as Oliver has to "let go" of his self-doubt. They both have to "[[CareBearStare find the strength within]]". Oddly, however, Oliver had never really before seemed especially self-doubtful, and Clark has reached this conclusion [[AesopAmnesia so many times now]] it's become embarrassing.

->This was not a 1 episode. There were redeeming qualities. As usual, they occur at the beginning and at the end of the episode, when nothing about the episode in question is really happening, but rather, when [[CharacterDevelopment character motion]] slugs forward... I often wonder what the length of the actual character segments of this show would add up to. If someone were to cut them all together using Windows Media Player or something, it would probably give us [[DamnedByFaintPraise a good three or four hours of work.]]

->It's just the Doctor playing the Trilogic Game for four episodes while Steven and Dodo meander through a series of arbitrary deadly challenges. The reason it's four episodes long is... that's how long it is. It could have been one. It could have been three hundred. It doesn't matter, because the plot does not build at all, at any point, anywhere in the entire episode. They just eventually run out of games and go free.

->''"This was the year TV critics finally realized that having a lot of dialogue [[Series/TheNewsroom does not equal]] having good dialogue. '''ZOMG SO MANY WORDS HOW DOES [[Creator/AaronSorkin SORKIN]] DO IT?'''"''

->[[Wrestling/RandySavage Macho]] is out in a flash threatening to beat up Sapphire, but then our jiggly hero, Wrestling/DustyRhodes comes to her rescue and they beat up Brother Love and spend about 5 minutes in the ring just [[GratuitousDiscoSequence dancing for no reason.]]\\\
I used to think that segments like this only happened these days. I’m relieved to see that they are a part of wrestling’s history and entirely inescapable. Jesus.

->If this keeps up, Charles Nelson Reilly is going to sue me for using [[https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0c/3e/59/0c3e5975b6c91b6b2fd050582649ccae.jpg his image]] so much.

->It was shaping up to be an amusing episode of ''{{Series/Raw}}''. Yes, it was extremely thin on action, but sometimes you’ve got to tease the audience to convince them to buy the upcoming pay-per-view, especially ''Wrestling/{{WrestleMania}}''... oh right, this *was* ''[=WrestleMania=].''

->Aside from the 2007-2008 writers' strike sliding a cactus up TV's collective asshole, one of the biggest problems with later seasons of ''{{Series/Heroes}}'' was that the plot simply lost basic direction... Hiro gets a love interest. [[RomanticPlotTumor And then another love interest. And then one more sort-of love interest.]] Claire [[IJustWantToBeNormal wants to be normal]] and lets us know that through [[StatusQuoIsGod 6 billion rehashed arguments with her father]]. Sylar turns good. [[HeelFaceRevolvingDoor Then bad. Then good.]] Then ... something with a carnival. It was never really spelled out for us where these characters were going and why we needed to feel a sense of urgency for them to get there. They were just kind of doing things. [[MundaneUtility With powers]].
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-new-season-heroes-can-avoid-sucking/ "4 Ways the New Season of Heroes Can Avoid Sucking"]]

->Brace yourself for two movies so unnecessarily long that they include [[ProductPlacement five Volvo commercials]], two montages of the previous Twilight movies, four games of chess, and '''the [[PunctuatedForEmphasis MOST]]. [[HeldGaze STARES]]. [[UpToEleven EVER]]!'''
-->-- '''''WebVideo/HonestTrailers''''', ''{{Film/Twilight}}: Breaking Dawn (Parts 1 and 2)''

->Y'see, a guy named [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare William Shakesman]] once said, "Brevity is the soul of wit."\\\
This just means '''[[LaymansTerms don't waste my time.]]''' Ya keep it ''nice and simple!''\\\

I said '''stop''' wasting my time. '''''STOP IT!'''''

->Meanwhile, Ramirez is still in Scotland (you can tell because in Scotland there's [[TheThemeParkVersion constant bagpipe music]])... He stops into a tailor for new suit, because when you return from death, you reappear in your old clothes. No money, but hey, your head's still attached; better than a kick in the nuts, I guess. He doesn't have any money but luckily he has a pearl earring which -- ''[beat]'' is [[WritersCannotDoMath worth nowhere near what a new suit would cost]]. Is all this necessary? Does this B-plot accomplish anything other than being annoying and raising more plot holes?

-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyjJ7QbCQBo on]] ''A Certain Sacrifice''

-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Her Alibi'' (1981)

->''... and the rest of the Book is dedicated to Hephaestus making Achilles new duds. In BOOK NINETEEN Achilles PUTS ON his new duds [such drama!]... yes, this Epic kind of drags on in places...

->''"Then it cuts to him like, oh my God. That scene where Harry Osborn goes and talks to his dad, who's dying on his bed, and it's like, "Okay, here's the scene: You're disappointed in the dad and now you're gonna become evil." And it's like ten minutes long and it's just them talking back and forth. I started playing Poker on my phone. I did! I started playing Hold'em on my phone. I really did. I was just sitting there; I was just so bored. And there were so many scenes of talking and talking and talking; this movie was 2 hours and 22 minutes long."''

->'''Jay:''' This movie is '''challenging''' you to stay awake for the whole thing... And ''I wasn't even tired!'' I can watch a movie super-late at night! If I'm engaged, I'll be into it, it doesn't matter. But I noticed I was starting to nod off, and I was like, "[[ManVersusMachine I'm not gonna let this movie beat me.]] It beat Mike. I'm not gonna let it beat me." So that was my challenge for the rest of the movie, to keep me invested: just, [[NeverSleepAgain not falling asleep]]. To the point where I had to just get up and walk out the theater for a bit, stretch my legs. I heard ''you'' giggling.\\
'''Rich:''' Yeah, because I knew you had given up... I didn't think you were coming back.
-->-- ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' on ''Film/{{Transcendence}}''

->Clark has to "let go" of his past, just as Oliver has to "let go" of his self-doubt. They both have to "[[CareBearStare find the strength within]]". Oddly, however, Oliver had never really before seemed especially self-doubtful] and Clark has reached this conclusion [[AesopAmnesia so many times now]] it's become embarrassing.

->You know why this game is on three discs? Not because it’s a complex roller-coaster of an epic. It's because it's ''padded like a[[{{Wangst}} mentruaring]] fire hose.''

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
->You know a movie is in trouble when you start looking at your watch. You know it's in bad trouble when you start shaking your watch because you think it might have stopped.
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Her Alibi'' (1981)
[[/folder]]

->You know why this game is on three discs? Not because it’s a complex roller-coaster of an epic. It's because it's '''''PADDED LIKE A [[{{Wangst}} MENSTRUATING]] FIRE HOSE.'''''

->''"This was the year TV critics finally realized that having a lot of dialogue [[Series/TheNewsroom does not equal]] having good dialogue. '''ZOMG SO MANY WORDS HOW DOES [[Creator/AaeonSorkin SORKIN]] DO IT?'''"''