History Quotes / BananaRepublic

-->-- '''Wiki/RationalWiki'''

->"He’s killed, intimidated or bribed half the officials from here to Chile. There’s only one law down there: [[TheMobBossIsScarier Sanchez’s law.]]"

->"Originally established as a homeland for free American slaves, [[PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny it's been enslaved]] by one dictator after another ever since. The latest was American-educated, self-declared president Andre Baptiste. President Baptiste ''was'' my best customer, but I was in no hurry to meet him; he'd gotten a reputation for routinely hacking off the limbs of those who opposed him. His seven-year civil war has been described as 'a relentless campaign of sadistic, wanton violence.' That kind of sums up Andy for me."

->''"It's a glorious thing," said Cronin, half jestingly, "to be able to discharge a government, and insert one of your own choosing, in these days."\\\
"Oh, it is only amatter of business," said Vincenti, stopping and offering the stump of his cigar to a monkey that swung down from a lime tree; "and that is what moves the world of today. That extra real on the price of bananas had to go. We took the shortest way of removing it."''

->"This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the protestors away? Where are they? This kind of behavior is ''never'' tolerated in Boraqua. You shout like that, they put you in jail. ''Right'' away. No trial, no nothing. Journalists, we have a ''special jail'' for journalists. You are stealing? Right to jail. You are playing music too loud? Right to jail, right away. Driving too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You are charging too high prices for sweaters, glasses, you ''right to'' jail. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, ''jail.'' You overcook chicken, ''also'' jail. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up, believe it or not, ''jail''. Right away. We have the best patients in the world. Because of jail."

->"{{UsefulNotes/Colombia}}. From what I've heard, even the butterflies are corrupt and smuggling drugs."

->"You might be surprised to learn than 93% of investments are ethical, eco-friendly, and wide open to market collapse. A crash can strike without warning, wiping clean a lifetime of work and saving to [[MoralMyopia destroy your future, and the future of your family.]] The people at Third World Bank have different ideas, capturing the earning potential of underdeveloped countries and spreading your money across a wide range of tobacco, defense, and pharmaceutical investments. Third World, keeping ''your'' money safe -- no matter the cost."

->''And all of the guards are speaking Spanish, because I think it was a legal requirement in the ‘80s that all action movies had to take place in the jungles of either Vietnam or South America.''

->''UsefulNotes/{{Uganda}} has managed to cram an awful lot of history into its few decades of independence -- or should that be [[{{Spoonerism}} a lot of awful history]]. From UsefulNotes/IdiAmin to the Lord's Resistance Army, Uganda has suffered dictatorship, war, dictatorship, war, dictatorship and war. And the ebola virus.''

->''These fucks need to learn that you have to do some research before you agree to perform in a country that you can’t even pick out on the Franchise/CarmenSandiego map. You know why I’ve never eaten at Del Taco or Yoshinoya? Because I do my research by Yelping that shit first; and when the first three reviews that come up sound like the strained moans of a haunted spirit, I know to stay away, no matter how good a deal $0.59 tacos sound.''
-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/12/21/ruh-roh-mariah-carey-maybe-kinda-performed-for-a-dictator-again/ Dlisted]]''', "Ruh Roh: Music/MariahCarey Maybe Kinda Performed For A Dictator Again"

->''Millions of [[{{UsefulNotes/Brazil}} Brazilians]] have been protesting in the streets for more than a year over the superfluous spending on stadiums that'll be abandoned and probably turned into shantytowns two weeks after the games. The government's solution? Spend ''even more money'' coming up with sci-fi-looking measures to curb the protests...In other words, Brazil has finally caught up to the dystopian future shown in the movie ''{{Film/Brazil}}'' from 1985.''

->''UsefulNotes/{{Uganda}} has managed to cram an awful lot of history into its few decades of independence -- or should that be [[{{Spoonerism}} a lot of awful history]]. From UsefulNotes/IdiAmin to the Lord's Resistance Army, Uganda has suffered dictatorship, war, [[SoGoodWeMentionedItTwice dictatorship, war, dictatorship and war.]] And the ebola virus.''

!!!Fiction
->''"At that time we had a treaty with about every foreign country except Belgium and that banana republic, Anchuria."''
-->--Creator/OHenry: ''Cabbages and Kings'', chapter 17: "Two Recalls"

->''"It's a glorious thing," said Cronin, half jestingly, "to be able to discharge a government, and insert one of your own choosing, in these days."''
->''"Oh, it is only amatter of business," said Vincenti, stopping and offering the stump of his cigar to a monkey that swung down from a lime tree; "and that is what moves the world of today. That extra real on the price of bananas had to go. We took the shortest way of removing it."''
-->--Creator/OHenry: ''Cabbages and Kings'', chapter 16: "Rouge et Noir"

->''"I place you in charge of Arrakis. It's yours to squeeze, as I promised. I want you to ''squeeze'', and '''''squeeze''''', and '''''SQUEEZE!''''' Give me spice! Drive them! Drive them into utter submission!"''
-->-- '''Baron Harkonnen''', ''Film/Dune1984''

->''"{{UsefulNotes/Colombia}}. From what I've heard, even the butterflies are corrupt and smuggling drugs."''

->''"He’s killed, intimidated or bribed half the officials from here to Chile. There’s only one law down there: [[TheMobBossIsScarier Sanchez’s law.]]"''
-->-- '''Felix Leiter''', ''Film/LicenceToKill''

->''"Spend enough time in international hotspots, and you learn that a lot of the worst monsters on earth are just [[PsychopathicManchild spoiled rich kids]]. Mass murderers come in many shapes and sizes, but they tend to drink the same brands of champagne."''
-->-- ''Series/BurnNotice'', "Truth and Reconciliation"

->''"You might be surprised to learn than 93% of investments are ethical, eco-friendly, and wide open to market collapse. A crash can strike without warning, wiping clean a lifetime of work and saving to [[MoralMyopia destroy your future, and the future of your family.]] The people at Third World Bank have different ideas, capturing the earning potential of underdeveloped countries and spreading your money across a wide range of tobacco, defense, and pharmaceutical investments. Third World, keeping ''your'' money safe -- no matter the cost."''

->''"Originally established as a homeland for free American slaves, [[{{Irony}} it's been enslaved]] by one dictator after another ever since. The latest was American-educated, self-declared president Andre Baptiste. President Baptiste ''was'' my best customer, but I was in no hurry to meet him; he'd gotten a reputation for [[MakeAnExampleOfThem routinely hacking off the limbs of those who opposed him.]] His seven-year civil war has been described as 'a relentless campaign of sadistic, wanton violence.' That kind of sums up [[WithFriendsLikeThese Andy]] for me."''
-->-- '''Yuri Orlov''', ''Film/LordOfWar''

!!!RealLife
->''"We fly through the jungle, with lots of aerial footage of a large mansion...And all of the guards are speaking Spanish, because I think it was a legal requirement in the ‘80s that all action movies had to take place in the jungles of either Vietnam or South America."''

->'''Jay:''' So, The Berserker here (aka Wrestling/JohnNord, Nord the Barbarian, whichever you like), he was in from the Wrestling/{{A|mericanWrestlingAssociation}}WA and the Pacific-Northwest, and he had [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute similar manners and gimmicks]] [to] Wrestling/BruiserBrody, who was stabbed to death in a shower after a wrestling match in UsefulNotes/PuertoRico. That was horrific, it was a disgusting scandal.\\
'''Steve:''' Plus it ruined wrestling over there.\\
'''Jay:''' Rightly so. There were witnesses there, including Tony Atlas. Everyone knew what happened. Man [[KangarooCourt walks off scot free.]]
-->-- ''WebVideo/OSWReview'' on Wrestling/{{WWF}} ''Survivor Series '91''


->''"With some irritation, I told him that I had no intention of repeating the various horror stories told told me by those who had been ruined by his government, their businesses seized, their livelihoods ended... An owner would come into work one morning to find an army officer sitting at his desk, directing what had been his business the day before.\\\
Heikal was scornful. 'So we take their money. So they are not happy. So what? At least they are still alive! That's something!' He felt this showed [[KillThePoor great restraint on the part of the government]] and perhaps he was right."''
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''', "Nasser's Egypt"

->''"Their conception of the way politics works is that it's arranged by [[TheOmniscientCouncilOfVagueness rich guys sitting in back rooms who work out deals together]], and the population's irrelevant. They haven't the slightest conception or the way a democratic system functions... So they have a [[StateSec huge security force]]--nobody really knows how big it is, because it's a secret, but they may have thirty or forty thousand men enlisted. They surely have one of the highest densities of police per capita in the world, if not the highest. They [[TheQuisling work very closely with the Israeli secret service and the Israeli army]]. They're very brutal. And they're making a ton of money. So you go to places like Gaza which are just collapsing, there are people starving in the streets--and there's also a ton of construction, new fancy restaurants, hotels, a lot of Palestinian investors going in...So now that's their role, to oversee all of this, and they'll put up with any humiliation. I mean, if you look at the terms of the [Oslo Accords], it was just [[GunboatDiplomacy gratuitous humiliation]]. But the P.L.O. is perfectly happy to take it. And they'll get rich, and they'll have the guns, and they'll be the equivalent of the elite in India, or Mexico, Thailand, Indonesia, or any other place that you see in the Third World."''
-->-- '''Noam Chomsky''' on Yassar Arafat, ''Understanding Power''

->''"A country whose people resemble ''Series/TheBeverlyHillbillies'': people who have no class, culture, or civility but happen upon large amounts of black gold. The profits of this are then used on flashy expenditures in order to create a pretense of civility among other peoples who are actually civilized (North Americans, Europeans, etc)."''
-->-- ''Website/UrbanDictionary'' on SaudiArabia

->''"You know when a shithead [[KarmaHoudini wins the lottery]], and immediately buys [[ConspicuousConsumption a frozen champagne sculpture of his own scrotum]] and a pack of Filipino slave boys to hold up his home shelving units? Well, if that person was a city, it would be Dubai."''
-->-- ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' on ''VideoGame/SpecOpsTheLine''

->''"UsefulNotes/{{Uganda}} has managed to cram an awful lot of history into its few decades of independence -- or should that be [[{{Spoonerism}} a lot of awful history]]. From UsefulNotes/IdiAmin to the [[ChurchMilitant Lord's Resistance Army]], Uganda has suffered dictatorship, war, [[SoGoodWeMentionedItTwice dictatorship, war, dictatorship and war.]] And the [[FromBadToWorse ebola virus.]]"''
-->-- ''Wiki/RationalWiki''

->''"It’s [[UsefulNotes/MuammarGaddafi 2011]] all over again! These fucks need to learn that you have to do some research before you agree to perform in a country that you can’t even pick out on the Franchise/CarmenSandiego map. You know why I’ve never eaten at Del Taco or Yoshinoya? Because I do my research by Yelping that shit first; and when the first three reviews that come up sound like the strained moans of a haunted spirit, I know to stay away, no matter how good a deal $0.59 tacos sound. Celebrities need to start Yelping countries before they go to them to make sure they aren’t getting down with shady shit. Case in point…Mariah’s paycheque can only be cashed at the Bank of Blood Money, because the gala was held by a father-daughter dictatorship duo."''
-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/12/21/ruh-roh-mariah-carey-maybe-kinda-performed-for-a-dictator-again/ Dlisted]]''', "Ruh Roh: Music/MariahCarey Maybe Kinda Performed For A Dictator [[AesopAmnesia Again]]"

->''"Millions of [[{{UsefulNotes/Brazil}} Brazilians]] have been protesting in the streets for more than a year over the superfluous spending on stadiums that'll be abandoned and probably [[TheCityNarrows turned into shantytowns]] two weeks after the games. The government's solution? Spend ''even more money'' coming up with sci-fi-looking measures to curb the protests...In other words, Brazil has finally caught up to the dystopian future shown in the movie ''{{Film/Brazil}}'' from 1985."''

->''"All it took was $5 million and a fancy sketch of a hovering air conditioner for the FIFA president and his board to bestow hosting duties for the 2022 World Cup upon Qatar, a nation that treats its migrant workers worse than Germany treated Brazil in its 2014 Cup debacle. Will [Sepp] Blatter answer for this? Of course not. Blatter is [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney so unbeholden to any form of international law or common decency]] that he can simply rampage from country to country, looting coffers and shitting on poor people as he pleases. He is a walking nightmare of diplomatic immunity."''
-->-- '''[[http://www.gq.com/entertainment/sports/201409/25-biggest-sleazebags-in-sports Drew Magary]]''', "The 25 Biggest Sleazebags in Sports!"

->"This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the protestors away? Where are they? This kind of behavior tolerated in Boraqua. You shout like that, they put you in jail. ''Right'' away. No trial, no nothing. Journalists, we have a ''special jail'' for journalists. You are stealing? Right to jail. You are playing music too loud? Right to jail, right away. Driving too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You are charging too high prices for sweaters, glasses, you ''right to'' jail. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, ''jail.'' You overcook chicken, ''also'' jail. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up, believe it or not, ''jail''. Right away. We have the best patients in the world. Because of jail."

-->-- '''Baron Harkonnen''', ''{{Film/Dune}}'' (1984)

->''"Uganda has managed to cram an awful lot of history into its few decades of independence -- or should that be [[{{Spoonerism}} a lot of awful history]]. From [[TheCaligula Idi Amin]] to the [[ChurchMilitant Lord's Resistance Army]], Uganda has suffered dictatorship, war, [[SoGoodWeMentionedItTwice dictatorship, war, dictatorship and war.]] And the [[FromBadToWorse ebola virus.]]"''

->''"{{UsefulNotes/Colombia}}. From what I've heard, even the butterflies are corrupt."''

-->-- ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' on ''SpecOpsTheLine''

->''At that time we had a treaty with about every foreign country except Belgium and that banana republic, Anchuria.''

-->-- '''Felix''', ''Film/LicenceToKill''