History NotAlwaysRight / TropesEToL

* KickTheSonOfABitch: [[https://notalwaysright.com/hey-mr-dj-put-my-record-on/ This DJ]] gets tired of dealing with a patron who absolutely refuses to wait for the requested song to come up in a queue, storms out, only to storm back in, forcing past security, moments later and starts attacking other patrons with a knife. As the offending patron gets arrested, the DJ plays the requested song "as a parting gift."

* IronicEcho: [[https://notalwaysright.com/when-they-are-in-receipt-of-practising-what-they-have-preached/320300/ This religious customer]] gives a trans waiter an anti-trans pamphlet instead of a tip, saying "Considering your life choices, I think it's something that will save you more than any money ever could." The waiter later sees the customer working at a Christian charity which discriminates against the [=LGBTQ=] community and says the same line while giving them a pamphlet for a trans charity instead of a donation.

** Somehow, [[https://notalwaysright.com/best-to-be-as-quiet-as-a-mouse-and-move-on/263503/ this guy]] used computers for ''ten years'' without realizing you can pick up and put down your mouse to make it go across the entire screen.

* {{Hypocrite}}:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bag-of-chipocrisy/ Isn't it so inconsiderate of people to just open up the food and eat it in the store?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/effective-marketing/ "By the way, here are your two fish sandwiches."]]
** In general, there's a large number of customers who outright refuse to listen to or acknowledge what the employee is telling them, usually to continue to demand a particular product or service that the employee is directly informing them isn't available... and then berate the employee for not listening to them when their demands are unmet. Such as [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-smart-card/ this chap.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/eating-steak-on-rare-occasions/ This person]] wanted an extremely rare steak, and then, when the meat was uncooked, proceeded to say, "I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! Come on honey, let's go to that sushi place next door!"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/only-in-la/ This guy]] walks into an adult store in L.A. He is shocked to see that the cashier is a woman and immediately shouts that she should StayInTheKitchen, and then calls her a heathen for having a wife, and then immediately forgets the entire incident and asks her if they stock bibles. In an adult store. Like the title of that quote says, [[OnlyInAmerica "Only In L.A."]]
** "I'm an adult! Don't you [[http://notalwaysright.com/tit-for-tattoo/ judge me!]]"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/socially-acceptable/ ObamaCare is evil Socialism! Do you mind if I pay with food stamps?]]
** Your employee didn't help my pregnant wife carry her groceries and pack them in the car! Me? [[http://notalwaysright.com/contractions-speak-louder-than-words/ I was sitting in the car waiting for her; what's that got to do with anything]]?
** Using a machine is ruining the natural process of man and the cutting of bread! [[http://notalwaysright.com/loathe-of-bread-3/ No, use the machine -- I'm in a big rush.]]
** When a customer overhears an employee tell someone else that a theater is being cleaned, she mishears "Cleansed," and begins to shout how she doesn't want to be in a theater that practices all that "New age spiritual witchcraft stuff." [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-sense-toil-and-trouble/ And then goes to see Season of the Witch.]]
** After this guy has been delaying taking his wife, who is in labor, to the hospital to argue about a discount on a duffel bag: [[http://notalwaysright.com/contractions-speak-louder-than-words-part-3/ "Fine! See if I ever shop here again! You people are killing my wife over a duffel bag!"]]
** Cars shouldn't park in a parking lot if they have nothing to do with the store. [[http://notalwaysright.com/parking-up-the-wrong-tree/ It's taking up the spaces this guy's dinner guests use.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/casting-the-first-stone/ "I'm working on Sunday because there are customers that want to buy groceries on Sundays."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/practice-what-you-preach-please/ Mommy forgot to say please.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/banking-error/ This is a particularly obvious example..]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/takes-one-to-jim-crow-one/ "Takes One To Jim Crow One"]].
** If it were taken any further, [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-must-be-smoking/ this mother]] would border on abusive.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/somebody-took-an-evolutionary-detour/ Don't you know how rude it is to interrupt somebody else's conversation?!]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/youre-a-fine-one-to-talk/ She still talks and talks]]...
** Why would your parents name you after an animal? [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-game-of-kat-and-birdie/ You should have a good sturdy name like Birdie.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-argument-just-went-up-in-smoke/ This]] customer complains about how energy drinks are unhealthy and should be banned... then buys some cigarettes.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lost-a-sense-of-irony/ "People who lose expensive things don't deserve them!"]]... says the woman who retrieved her [=iPhone 4=] from the lost & found.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/c-is-for-coffee-cigarettes-and-cluelessness/ "Stop putting cancer in your coffee!"]]... says the smoker.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/saving-the-earth-7-mpg-at-a-time/ This woman]] insists on no bags in the name of the environment. She drives an SUV.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/dont-bow-down-to-your-desires/72403/ This employee]] wears a badge that says 'Talk dirty to me' at work. Yet when a customer actually talks mildly dirty to her, she feels uncomfortable.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/aisle-always-need-directions-part-4/ This person]] asks a worker which aisle the chips are located. Despite the worker ''repeatedly'' pointing to the chips display ''right in the aisle they're in'', the customer keeps asking for the aisle number, and the worker eventually relents and gives the aisle number. What makes the customer a hypocrite is that she returns and chews the worker out for not saying that the chips were right there. She should try listening next time.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/recaf-my-decaf/ This man]] complains about a non-caffeinated drink, claiming that the pizza place must have put caffeine in it. What does he want as a replacement? A caffeinated drink.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-rude-a-blabbering/ This gabber]] holds up a checkout line by talking on her cell phone, and not listening to the cashier when prompted for extra information. When the cashier finally gives up and moves on to the next customer, the gabber has the gall to call the cashier rude! Yes, ''that's'' rude, and holding up the checkout line for five minutes and ignoring the cashier ''isn't''. [[ItsAllAboutMe Flawless logic, that]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-vocation-for-location-part-5/ This person]] completely flips out when the caller slightly mispronounces a location name and messes up the person's nationality, but insists that South Africa is also Zimbabwe. They'll correct others' mistakes but refuse to admit when they've got it wrong.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/she-let-it-get-to-her-head/ This person]] refuses to buy a hair treatment product that was used and requests an unopened bottle... even though ''she'' was the one to use it.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cotton-pickers/ This woman]] touches some cotton candy despite a sign saying not to. The worker says that she has to buy it... but she doesn't want to, because she touched it. What.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-homo-critical-are-hypocritical/ "Homosexuality is a sin!"]]... says the man in line to purchase lesbian porn.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-argument-isnt-loaded/ Customer says he has medical issues]] preventing him from lifting stuff -- completely legit and justified. Worker says she has medical issues preventing her from lifting stuff -- she's lying and lazy. The best part is that another customer [[ConvictionByContradiction calls out the first one on his bluff]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/grand-theft-innocence-part-4/ This mother]] won't let her kid get ''VideoGame/CallOfDutyBlackOps'', but lets him get ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoIV'' without hesitation.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/and-the-children-shall-lead-2/ "Can you believe the childish things people will do just to get ahead in line?"]]... says the woman who engaged in childish antics to get ahead in line.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-quite-the-crema-of-the-crop-part-2/ I'm cutting down on sugar!]] Now get me a coffee with toffee, hazelnut, and extra cream.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-smart-phone-number/ This woman]] absolutely refuses to give her phone number to anyone... unless it's for a rewards program.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/acting-an-oaf-about-the-loaf-part-2/ This pizza store owner]] demands a free sandwich because the restaurant he's ordering from doesn't have one specific thing he wants on it. The cashier asks him how he would respond if a customer came into his pizza place and acted the way he's acting. [[EntitledBastard He responds by filing a formal complaint.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/quick-to-find-fault-with-being-quick-to-finding-fault/ I wasted a lot of my valuable time on this superfluous call!]] Now I'm going to complain about how much of my time you wasted for ten more minutes!
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/grand-theft-innocence-part-6/ This woman]] criticizes an adult woman for buying ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'', but says no one has the right to criticize her for buying her nine-year-old son a ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAuto'' game since her purchases are no one else's business.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cannot-speak-the-language-of-respect/ These high school boys]] demand to be treated with respect, while throwing childish tantrums because an older couple dared to speak a language other than English within earshot of them. They then complain about a time when they themselves visited Mexico and the locals continued speaking Spanish, [[ItsAllAboutMe rather than immediately learning English to make said boys' lives easier]]. When it later turns out they were at the restaurant to apply for jobs, [[LaserGuidedKarma they are immediately kicked out over this display]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/past-the-point-of-no-return/ This customer]] repeatedly fails to grasp the concept of "This is a bookstore, you don't have to return your book" and calls the worker "thick" for repeatedly saying so... then turns around and hypocritically {{Stealth Insult}}s the worker by saying very slowly, "I'm sorry to have told you that you were thick. I should have realised you were special."
** A customer gets offended when the cashier attempts to sell her some ''Film/HarryPotter'' [=DVDs=] because [[http://notalwaysright.com/missed-the-magic-of-the-magic-kingdom/ "Any movie that delves into magic is Satan's movies!"]]... But the movies she does buy include ''WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast'' and ''WesternAnimation/{{The Little Mermaid|1989}}'', which of course both heavily involve magic.
** Two girls cut in line and refuse to move to the back. When another customer asks an employee to make them move to the back, they punch him. When he threatens to call the cops, they sneer at him for "hiding behind the cops" because he's "[[TemptingFate too scared to fight]]", and punch him again... [[https://notalwaysright.com/way-out-of-line/ "Wait, how DARE you defend yourself when I punch you again! I'm calling the cops!"]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/critical-about-their-marriage-is-hypocritical/59361/ This Navy officer]] claims that a sailor is [[FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence defiling the sanctity of his marriage]] because he's not getting married in a Christian church, and then proceeds to cheat on his own wife with the daughter of a Rear Admiral.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/they-dont-give-you-a-badge-for-that/154104/ This mother]] demands that her daughter join a Boy Scout troop (implied to have occurred before the BSA accepted girls) for being useless around the house in spite of the daughter in question being the only one in the family working, and not interested in joining. When the mother is taken to court for attempted assault and disturbance of the peace (because the submitter and the Scoutmaster refused on the grounds of her being female), the daughter sums up the issue nicely:
--->'''Daughter:''' "Frankly, she was always overzealous about others' actions, but never considered her own. Personally, I think she deserves it."
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/beware-of-geeks-bearing-gifts/191195/ This tech support customer]] constantly belittles the guys working on clearing his laptop of viruses with geek stereotypes, including that they all live [[BasementDweller in their mothers' basements]]. Their revenge hinges on the realisation that he ''does'' live with his mother.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/meet-the-girls-who-peaked-in-high-school/280013/ This story]] features an overgrown GirlPosse, who descend on a woman trying to have a bagel in peace, so the AlphaBitch can make jokes about her weight while her hangers-on laugh and fake gasp. When the woman deadpan points out "I'm literally two sizes smaller than you, and I'm thirty-eight weeks pregnant", the Alpha Bitch runs out in tears screaming that they're supposed to be friends, leaving the posse staring at the woman in shock.
--->'''Woman''': ''*Shrugs*'' "Don't dish if you can't receive. Now clear off!"

* InnocentlyInsensitive: [[https://notalwaysright.com/babys-first-entitled-you-know-who/266004/ This submitter]] encounters a particularly abrasive (and racist) customer who [[MistakenForServant mistakes him for an employee]]. An ''actual'' employee commiserates with the submitter by remarking "[[Franchise/{{Pokémon}} a wild Karen appears]]."[[note]]The word "Karen" is censored, but it's easy enough to guess.[[/note]] The submitter, unaware that a "Karen" is a nickname for a particularly domineering ObnoxiousEntitledHousewife, assumes that the customer is a regular whose name really is Karen, and when trying to help her, refers to her as such, prompting the customer to go ''bananas''.

* InnocentInnuendo: [[http://notalwaysright.com/why-context-is-important/ Why context is important.]]

--->'''Customer:'' "But... This is America!"\\

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/some-parents-are-way-too-comfortable-leaving-their-kids-with-strangers-part-4-2/310197/ A pet/house-sitting employee]] arrives at a house expecting to look after the owners' dog while they're on vacation but instead finds their ''child'', whose parents have told them that the house-sitter will be feeding them and ferrying them to and from school, and who borrowed a neighbor's dog to trick the sitting company's manager. It baffles the company as to how they thought this would work ''without'' the sitters calling Child Protection Services.