History Main / UselessBystanderParent

* In ''Manga/DeathNote'', Teru Mikami's mother cares for her son, and when he gets himself beaten up while trying to protect others from bullies, she tells him that he should not try to take on the impossible task of protecting everyone. While the third person omniscient narrator for his flashbacks in the manga supports that she said what she did for his sake, Teru himself narrates in the anime that his mother was not just, and sees her death along with several bullies as proof of a god that punishes evildoers.

* In ''Literature/Stone Cold'' by Robert Swindells, the main character's mother allows her new boyfriend, Vince, to chase both of her children out of the house. Her older daughter moves in with her boyfriend after an implied proposition/assault by Vince. Her son, known only as "Link", fares even worse - Vince subjects him to constant insults (apparently trying to get the sixteen-year-old to leave), then locks him out of the house one night only to physically attack him upon his return, claiming to be enraged that Link "worried his mother" by staying out all night. He then leaves home, becoming homeless in the streets of Bradford. His mother clearly knows that Vince is abusive...but never once defends her children. This eventually leads to a disastrous Christmas party where Vince viciously berates and mocks Link...while his mother and sister stand by and say nothing. In fact, their Christmas gift to him is a ''sleeping bag'' -- confirmation that, rather than rescuing him, they're effectively abandoning him and expecting him to remain homeless. Link decides to take his chances living on the street in London rather than living anywhere near Vince.

* In ''Stone Cold'' by Robert Swindells, the main character's mother allows her new boyfriend, Vince, to chase both of her children out of the house. Her older daughter moves in with her boyfriend after an implied proposition/assault by Vince. Her son, known only as "Link", fares even worse - Vince subjects him to constant insults (apparently trying to get the sixteen-year-old to leave), then locks him out of the house one night only to physically attack him upon his return, claiming to be enraged that Link "worried his mother" by staying out all night. He then leaves home, becoming homeless in the streets of Bradford. His mother clearly knows that Vince is abusive...but never once defends her children. This eventually leads to a disastrous Christmas party where Vince viciously berates and mocks Link...while his mother and sister stand by and say nothing. In fact, their Christmas gift to him is a ''sleeping bag'' -- confirmation that, rather than rescuing him, they're effectively abandoning him and expecting him to remain homeless. Link decides to take his chances living on the street in London rather than living anywhere near Vince.

The reason for their inaction varies. Many are scared of their partners, and, in some cases, they have had their spirits broken -- they tried to stand up for themselves or their children in the past, and the [[DomesticAbuse fallout was so terrifying]] that they gave up. Some feel that they owe loyalty to their partner first and foremost, no matter how horrible that partner may be or [[MyMasterRightOrWrong how much they disagree with them]]. Others suffer from such [[ExtremeDoormat crippling self-esteem issues]] (usually made worse by the abusive party) that they fail to trust their own judgement, they and assume that the abusive party must be right -- the abuser must be the "proper" parent and the bystander is the weak one that doesn't know how to discipline their children. Some are caught in a hopelessly tangled situation, afraid to take action in case they're wrong. Others are simply weak-willed or cowardly by nature, and becoming a parent hasn't changed that fact.

They never hurt their children. They may clearly love their children. They probably know that they ''should'' protect their children. Yet they don't. Instead, they watch from the sidelines, chewing their lip and wringing their hands as their offspring are [[ParentalNeglect neglected]], [[FinancialAbuse exploited]] or {{abus|iveParents}}ed.

The reason for their inaction varies. Many are scared of their partners and, in some cases, they have had their spirits broken -- they tried to stand up for themselves or their children in the past, and the [[DomesticAbuse fallout was so terrifying]] that they gave up. Some feel that they owe loyalty to their partner first and foremost, no matter how horrible that partner may be or [[MyMasterRightOrWrong how much they disagree with them]]. Others suffer from such [[ExtremeDoormat crippling self-esteem issues]] (usually made worse by the abusive party) that they fail to trust their own judgement, and assume that the abusive party must be right -- the abuser must be the "proper" parent and the bystander is the weak one that doesn't know how to discipline their children. Some are caught in a hopelessly tangled situation, afraid to take action in case they're wrong. Others are simply weak-willed or cowardly by nature, and becoming a parent hasn't changed that fact.

While the attacker is normally a partner or spouse, it can be a SadistTeacher or even a child bully that this parent cannot stand up to.

In order to qualify as a UBP, the parent must ''know'' that something is wrong. If they are completely unaware that their children are in trouble, they don't qualify. However, if they are clearly ''[[StepfordSmiler pretending]]'' that nothing is wrong and too quick to make excuses to concerned parties and handwave any possible unpleasantness, then they count. If they are in a situation where they are truly, totally helpless -- such as being chained up while their vicious ex-partner attacks their children -- then they do not count, as long as it is clear to the viewer that they ''would'' rescue their child if they could.

Usually, if the abuse is physical, the UBP will be female and the abuser male. If the abuse is emotional, the reverse is usually true. A step-parent can be an UBP, and will generally be sympathetic, as their desire to help the kids will conflict with not wanting to overstep the mark.

** Momiji's dad ultimately chooses his wife over his son, asking Hatori to wipe his wife's memory of Momiji to prevent her from confronting the oh-so-horrible fact that, through no fault of his own, Momiji turns into a cute bunny when hugged. He promises Momiji that he'll love him twice as much to make up for his mother rejecting him. Yet all we see him do is constantly run interference to make sure Momiji sees as little of his mother and sister as possible. Momiji is even expected to apologise if he runs into them accidentally. When Momiji's sister, Momo, decides she wants to learn the violin, Momiji's dad stops Momiji's lessons in favour of his daughter getting the best violin tuition, without the risk of her encountering her brother... Even though the main reason Momo wants to learn violin is so she could play for Momiji, [[DramaticIrony who she wants to have as a big brother]]. As with nearly all parents in this series no-one ever calls him out on this.
** Akito's father, Akira, truly loved his child but didn't seem to do much about Ren being incredibly distant as a parent. The most we see is him asking why she refuses to hold Akito and doesn't seem to react to her referring to their child simply as "the baby" and implying that everyone fusses over the kid enough that ''she'' doesn't need to bother. That's not even going into how she [[spoiler:bullied Akira into agreeing to raise Akito as a boy regardless of her sex at birth, threatening to get an abortion if he refused]]. Presumably no one calls Akira out on this because he's the head of the house and incredibly sickly (and Akito adores him because he was the only parent who gave Akito any love).
** Kyoko was massively abused and eventually disowned by her father, while her mother did nothing but fret and wonder how her daughter turned out so poorly and what would the neighbors think?

* ''[[Manga/GreatTeacherOnizuka GTO: 14 Days in Shonan]]'': Seiya Dojima's mother did nothing to protect him from her abusive boyfriend, even after he ''forcibly gave Seiya a full-back tattoo''. Onizuka calls her out on this when [[spoiler:Seiya almost shoots the guy]].

** Shigaraki's mother and maternal grandparents did love him and his sister, Hana, but all three adults were too meek to stand up to his father, Kotaro, whenever the man was putting Shigaraki/Tenko outside in the backyard as punishment for playing heroes. They only told Shigaraki not to cry and would try to cheer him up after being punished. After Kotaro hit his son in front of the entire family, his wife and her parents finally had enough of his abusive treatment towards the children and confronted him on the matter, with his wife threatening to leave him and take the kids with her. [[spoiler:Unfortunately it was too late, as Tenko's Decayed Quirk finally appeared and killed most of his family by accident (with his father's death being on purpose).]]
** Hawks' mother, Tomie, was more focused on the television being broken rather than stopping his father from hitting him and would beg the man not to leave her. After Hawks' father was arrested, she forced Hawks to steal for them to survive on the streets. Years later, when Dabi came to their house and demanded that she tell him about her family by threatening her, she quickly told him about Hawks' father. Ashamed of her actions, Tomie left home, but left a letter and told Hawks how proud she was of him.
** [[spoiler:Rei Todoroki]] considers herself to be one. Although she hated how her husband treated their youngest son as a tool to surpass both him and All Might and tried to get her husband to acknowledge their three other children, [[spoiler:Rei]] didn't truly help her eldest son when his mental state began to spiral down after being replaced by his younger brother as their father's successor. When she tried to get her eldest son to think about opportunities other than the hero path his father formerly set him on, he called her out on this and reminded her that she was just as responsible for his pain since she knew that his father only wanted to marry her so he could have children with powerful Quirks.
* In ''Manga/OnePiece'', Robin's maternal uncle and his wife looked after her while her mother was away on a research expedition. While Robin's uncle is once shown trying to comfort a crying Robin, he doesn't do anything when his wife mistreats Robin. He and his wife go out to celebrate their daughter's birthday, leaving Robin with a note telling her to eat bread for dinner(and not use too much jam), do her chores and go to bed before they get back.
* ''Manga/OuranHighSchoolHostClub'': Narrowly subverted. At first glance, it seems that Tamaki's father, Yuzuru, doesn't try to prevent the endless emotional abuse that his son experiences at the hands of Yuzuru's utterly ruthless mother, and even goes along with her to stop him from meeting with his sickly mother. [[spoiler: He actually opposes his mother. Every single bit. And actually wants Tamaki (and himself, naturally) to be able to live with Anne-Sophie so much that he ''deposes'' his mother to become the head of the Suoh Empire. Yuzuru's mother's reaction is [[HeroicBSOD priceless]].]]
* In a particularly dark chapter of ''Manga/PetShopOfHorrors'', a mother fears that she is this, even though she has already fled from her violent partner, She has nightmares in which she not only fails to protect her young son, she actually shoves him in front of her after her ex-partner tries to stab her. Ultimately, she's far from spineless - she dies shielding her son from her ex-partner's attack.

* In ''Manhwa/TheTarotCafe'', one story has an alchemist trying to woo a heartless princess, with her promising to love him if he can make her laugh. He creates a very humanlike jester "[[ArtificialHuman doll]]" for this purpose, which the princess starts torturing for her own amusement. The alchemist realizes what's happening to the jester and is horrified, but he meets with Pamela uncertain of what to do. [[spoiler:He eventually chooses to side with the jester, who feels genuine love for his creator, rather than the princess.]]

* A rare male example, Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler's father in ''Film/BoogieNights''. Despite only a few brief scenes, in the beginning, it's pretty clear that the mother is an alcoholic and emotional abuser, and the father does nothing to stand up to his son.
* In ''Film/DeadPoetsSociety'', Neil's mother is revealed to be this in her small appearances in the film; while she clearly loves her son she does not stand up to her husband (a particularly mean FantasyForbiddingFather) forcing his life aspirations onto Neil even when she realizes how depressed it makes him.

* In ''Film/MadeasBigHappyFamily'', this is an alternate way of viewing the mother, Shirley. Although she prides herself on being a decent, single parent who brought up her children to be God-fearing and respectful, the reality is all three of her children have substantial issues. Worst of all is those of eldest daughter Kimberly, who was [[spoiler: raped by her Uncle at the age of 13 which culminated in her getting pregnant with her "brother" Byron, who Shirley, instead of pursuing any legal action from it, decides to turn to God and raise the boy as her own, which was withheld from him throughout his upbringing.]]

** On Abhimanyu's side, his aunt (who took him in after his parents died) is shown to treat him as an unwanted guest at best and a freeloader at worst rather than her nephew, [[spoiler:even calling him [[KickTheDog bad luck when his grandmother is hospitalized, knowing full well how the death of his parents affected him.]]]] All Abhimanyu's uncle does is weakly tell her to stop, but it's later implied that he does nothing more than that according to Abhimanyu, who says he's used to not being listened and ignored at home.

* In ''Stone Cold'' by Robert Swindells, the main character's mother allows her new boyfriend, Vince, to chase both of her children out of the house. Her older daughter moves in with her boyfriend after an implied proposition/assault by Vince. Her son, known only as "Link", fares even worse - Vince subjects him to constant insults (apparently trying to get the sixteen-year-old to leave), then locks him out of the house one night only to physically attack him upon his return, claiming to be enraged that Link "worried his mother" by staying out all night. He then leaves home, becoming homeless in the streets of Bradford. His mother clearly knows that Vince is abusive...but never once defends her children. This eventually leads to a disastrous Christmas party where Vince viciously berates and mocks Link...while his mother and sister stand by and say nothing. In fact, their Christmas gift to him is a ''sleeping bag'' -- confirmation that, rather than rescuing him, they're effectively abandoning him and expect him to remain homeless. Link deciding to take his chances living on the street in London rather than living anywhere near Vince.
* In Creator/JackieFrench's ''Summerland'' (not to be confused with several works of the same name), Bridget's mother is the in-denial variant of the spineless parent. She knows her husband is dangerous, and at least makes an attempt to get her daughter out of the way before he arrives home, but is ultimately always making excuses for him: if only she were a better wife, if only Bridget would be good and not make him so angry... Eventually, Bridget stands up for herself and leaves home to seek the safety of her grandparents' house. Her mum supports this decision, yet her main concern is that Bridget doesn't let them know what's going on.

* In the ''Literature/{{Divergent}}'' series, [[spoiler: Four's mom, Evelyn, escaped from the abusive family life she had and left her hapless son to be abused by his father, Marcus, for over 10 years. She knew that the abuse is going on, but deliberately never met, comforted, or retook her job as a mom afterward until he was 16 years old. Unlike many examples in the series, though, it's very much called out: the first time that the two reunited, Four proceeded to give [[WhatTheHellHero her a middle finger and refused to meet her again]] (though he changed his mind eventually). Tris also doesn't like to be in her company for similar reasons.]]
* In ''Literature/{{Jumper}}'', David's mom runs away from her abusive husband but leaves Davy with him. Davy doesn't blame her, but ''she'' believes that she has to make amends for leaving him to face the abuse alone, [[WriterOnBoard as part of the Alanon step program]].
* The self-help psychology book ''If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with your Past and Take you place in the World'' identified such parents as a "Childlike Parent" who "Feeling incapable or needy, Childlike parents offer their children little protection. Childlike parents, woefully uncomfortable with themselves, encourage their children to take care of them, thereby controlling through role-reversal."
* ''Literature/AFrozenHeart'', a tie-in novel to ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013'', reveals that Prince Hans lives with an abusive family, where his [[AbusiveParents father]] and 11 of his 12 older brothers constantly mock, beat up and mistreat Hans every day. [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas His mother]] was very much against this but years of her husband's cruelty and abuse at everyone has made her terrified, reducing her to an ExtremeDoormat who is unable to do anything but give Hans small smiles to acknowledge him, but his brothers pick on him for it. [[spoiler:Her reaction to what her youngest son did in Arendelle is never revealed]].
* Cyan's mother, Belinda, in ''Literature/TheAmyVirus'', is this. [[spoiler: She hated scamming people with the Good Brain Diet, hated the actual diet itself, and hated the FinancialAbuse the blog was doing to Cyan. She wanted to end the blog after the first year, but her husband Daniel kept scaring her into thinking that the scam and the FinacialAbuse was the only way for them to make money]]. [[spoiler: It took Cyan finally running away after Daniel's threat to lock her up in an institution if she kept rebelling against him for Belinda [[GrewASpine to finally stand up to Daniel]]. She subsequently becomes TheAtoner by forcibly divorcing Daniel, taking full custody of Cyan so Daniel can never hurt her again, and publically revealing the truth about the Good Brain Diet to shut the scam down]].
* In ''Literature/EllaEnchanted'', Ella's father admits to being upset by how she's treated by her stepfamily, but not so much that he's willing to return home to put a stop to it.

* ''Series/VeronicaMars'': Logan's mother Lynn is very aware that her husband Aaron is a violent abuser who beats his son with a belt. She tries to ignore it by [[AlcoholicParent drinking extensively]]. [[spoiler:She later commits suicide after Logan threatens to kill Aaron.]]
* In ''Series/{{Roseanne}}'', the titular character and her sister were beaten as children by their father. When discussing this as adults, Jackie notes that whenever it happened their Mom wasn't any better, and would just go into the kitchen and wash dishes until it was over. Roseanne points out that their Mom's general approach to any problem was "ignore it and it'll go away."

* ''Literature/TheBible:'' David's oldest son, Amnon, rapes his half-sister Tamar, which is discovered by Tamar's other brother, Absalom. We are told that David is furious about this...but not that Amnon suffers any sort of punishment. It's Absalom who [[SilentTreatment refuses to speak to Amnon]] for years and eventually [[RapeAndRevenge kills him]]. ''Now'' David gets around to acting, in that he nearly kills Absalom, but is eventually convinced not to. Presumably this all contributes to Absalom's FaceHeelTurn.

* Cinderella's Father in ''Theatre/IntoTheWoods'' is just enough of a character to ignore the abuse she suffers at the hands of her Stepmother and Stepsisters. He'd be window dressing, if not for the fact that she addresses him directly as he accompanies the others to the Prince's ball. He brushes her off but doesn't offer any abuse of his own.

* ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'': Zigzagged with Willow Schnee. While she ''does'' love her children, her despair at discovering her husband Jacques was a GoldDigger led her to become an alcoholic and barely present in her children's lives, too trapped in her own helplessness to stop Jacques from abusing them. [[spoiler:However, she has also been secretly recording Jacques' activities in the manor for her and her children's safety, and acknowledges the role she played in creating the abusive environment they live in when she points out to Weiss that her brother Whitley hates her and wants nothing to do with her because she left him all alone with two terrible parents.]]

* ''Webcomic/KhaosKomix'': TheReveal in [[spoiler:Jamie]]'s story is that his mother, in addition to being emotionally and physically abusive herself, knew about [[spoiler:his sexual abuse as a young child by a family friend]] but did nothing [[SlaveToPR because it would have made her look bad]]. He immediately cuts all ties with her.

** The show implies Butterscotch was mostly this. When he was home, he was either indifferent or dismissive, with that one time on Father's Day when [=BoJack=] gave the "wrong" answer to the Panama canal question where he slapped him. Other than that, he did really nothing to offset any of Beatrice's mistreatment of their son.

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks'' episode "The Color Ruckus", Uncle Ruckus' mother, Bunny Ruckus, was definitely one of these. Although she did love her children and cared about them, she did very little to stop her husband [[AbusiveDad Mister Ruckus]] from regularly beating the tar out of Uncle when he was a little kid, usually doing nothing more than yelling out "LORD HAVE MERCY, MY BABY!" in impotent protest. Even though she was horrified to see [[ParentalAbandonment Mister literally throwing Uncle out of their home]] and ''did'' try to prevent him from doing so, for some reason she still stayed with her husband and didn't rescue her lost son. Overall, Bunny was well-meaning but utterly worthless as a guardian.

* In ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls,'' [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Stan]] [[spoiler:and [[WalkingSpoiler Ford]]]]'s mother, [[AllThereInTheScript Caryn]], seems to have cared more about him than her husband, Filbrick--she calls him a "free spirit" when other people just put him down, and [[AllThereInTheManual bonus materials]] refer to her as a "caring mother [[LikeFatherLikeSon and kleptomaniac]]." That said, she wasn't able to do anything to keep Filbrick from kicking him out, and as far as we know, didn't keep in contact with him afterwards.

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', Marge would often only offer token resistance to the abuse Bart suffered, acknowledging that it was happening, but never really doing anything about it. This is especially true when it came to the ParentalFavoritism shown to Lisa. Homer was able to easily convince her to consider Bart a lost cause at age six once they discovered that Lisa was a ChildProdigy.

* ''Manga/MyHeroAcademia'':

* In ''Manga/OnePiece'', Robin's maternal uncle and his wife looked after her while her mother was away on a research expedition. While Robin's uncle is once shown trying to comfort a crying Robin, he doesn't do anything when his wife mistreats Robin. He and his wife go out to celebrate their daughter's birthday, leaving Robin with a note telling her to eat bread for dinner(and not use too much jam), do her chores and go to bed before they get back.

* In ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls,'' [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Stan]] [[spoiler:and [[WalkingSpoiler Ford]]]]'s mother, [[AllThereInTheScript Caryn]], seems to have cared more about him than her husband, Filbrick--she calls him a "free spirit" when other people just put him down, and [[AllThereInTheManual bonus materials]] refer to her as a "caring mother." That said, she wasn't able to do anything to keep Filbrick from kicking him out, and as far as we know, didn't keep in contact with him afterwards.

* ''WesternAnimation/BoJackHorseman'' implies Butterscotch was mostly this. When he was home, he was either indifferent or dismissive, with that one time on Father's Day when [=BoJack=] gave the "wrong" answer to the Panama canal question where he slapped him. Other than that, he did really nothing to offset any of Beatrice's mistreatment of their son.

* In ''Manga/NarutoGaiden'', abuse in the form of neglect is presented with [[spoiler: Sakura. While she is married to Sasuke and gave birth to Sarada with him, she stayed silent for over 10 years about Sasuke's disappearance within the family (he's out-in-duty watching over Orochimaru's hideout). She didn't tell Sarada anything about him besides the fact that he's a part of their family, and even actually ''lied'' by presenting Sasuke's old photo with Taka members, except by overlaying their figures with hers. While this problem is rectified in the end, it doesn't stop the fact that she basically did emotionally abuse her daughter by not giving her evidence. Abuse that started early and went on for over a decade doesn't magically heal by simply finding the answer in RealLife, as the series shows.]]
** This is actually ''{{Deconstructed}}''. [[spoiler: Because of the long, long time that Sarada spent without Sasuke, she ended up becoming closer with Naruto, who's basically her true father in all but name and genetics.]]

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' Marge would often only offer token resistance to the abuse Bart suffered, acknowledging that it was happening, but never really doing anything about it. This is especially true when it came to the ParentalFavoritism shown to Lisa. Homer was able to easily convince her to consider Bart a lost cause at age six once they discovered that Lisa was a ChildProdigy.

* In Jackie French's ''Summerland'' (not to be confused with several works of the same name), Bridget's mother is the in-denial variant of the spineless parent. She knows her husband is dangerous, and at least makes an attempt to get her daughter out of the way before he arrives home, but is ultimately always making excuses for him: if only she were a better wife, if only Bridget would be good and not make him so angry... Eventually, Bridget stands up for herself and leaves home to seek the safety of her grandparents' house. Her mum supports this decision, yet her main concern is that Bridget doesn't let them know what's going on.

* ''Manga/Reborn2004'' has Nana Sawada, the main character’s own mother. While she isn’t necessarily a bad parent per say, she doesn’t do much to help ease tensions between her husband and son and often takes her husband’s side instead. She doesn’t even show a lick of concern towards Tsuna’s low self-esteem and the blatant bullying he endures at school either.

* ''Manga/KatekyoHitmanReborn'' has Nana Sawada, the main character’s own mother. While she isn’t necessarily a bad parent per say, she doesn’t do much to help ease tensions between her husband and son and often takes her husband’s side instead. She doesn’t even show a lick of concern towards Tsuna’s low self-esteem and the blatant bullying he endures at school either.

[[folder:Fan Fiction]]

** I Samuel 2 features Eli, the elderly priest and judge of Israel, who neglected or failed to discipline his sons, Hophni and Phinehas, and as a result, his adult sons extorted raw meat from the ones bringing the offering when the fat was supposed to be burned off (Leviticus 3:3-5), and to make matters worse, they slept with the women who assembled at the tabernacle's entrance. By the time Eli reproves them, they ignore his warnings; the situation isn't helped by Eli's age, which was about 80-something to 90-something years old. A prophet comes along warning Eli that his sons would be slain in battle and that Eli's sins would not be atoned for; instead, Eli's adoptive apprentice, Samuel, becomes the next High Priest and leader of Israel.

The reason for their inaction varies. Many are scared of their partners and, in some cases, they have had their spirits broken -- they tried to stand up for themselves or their children in the past, and the [[DomesticAbuse fallout was so terrifying]] that they gave up. Some feel that they owe loyalty to their partner first and foremost, no matter how horrible that partner may be or [[MyMasterRightOrWrong how much they disagree with them]]. Others suffer from such [[ExtremeDoormat crippling self esteem issues]] (usually made worse by the abusive party) that they fail to trust their own judgement, and assume that the abusive party must be right -- the abuser must be the "proper" parent and the bystander is the weak one that doesn't know how to discipline their children. Some are caught in a hopelessly tangled situation, afraid to take action in case they're wrong. Others are simply weak-willed or cowardly by nature, and becoming a parent hasn't changed that fact.

This character is rarely completely unsympathetic, especially if we know that they have tried to do something. However, much depends on their circumstances: the spouse of a KnightTemplar who crusades for one child at the expense of the others is generally sympathetic, especially if they try to "make up" for the neglect. However, a parent who brings a new paramour into the house and stands by when he insults or attacks the kids might be judged even more harshly that the abuser -- not only have they failed to defend their children, they brought the threat into the house in the first place.

In order to qualify as a UBP, the parent must ''know'' that something is wrong. If they are completely unaware that their children are in trouble, they don't qualify. However, if they are clearly ''[[StepfordSmiler pretending]]'' that nothing is wrong, and too quick to make excuses to concerned parties and handwave any possible unpleasantness, then they count. If they are in a situation where they are truly, totally helpless -- such as being chained up while their vicious ex-partner attacks their children -- then they do not count, as long as it is clear to the viewer that they ''would'' rescue their child if they could.

** Akito's father, Akira, truly loved his child, but didn't seem to do much about Ren being incredibly distant as a parent. The most we see is him asking why she refuses to hold Akito and doesn't seem to react to her referring to their child simply as "the baby" and implying that everyone fusses over the kid enough that ''she'' doesn't need to bother. That's not even going into how she [[spoiler:bullied Akira into agreeing to raise Akito as a boy regardless of her sex at birth, threatening to get an abortion if he refused]]. Presumably no one calls Akira out on this because he's the head of the house and incredibly sickly (and Akito adores him because he was the only parent who gave Akito any love).

** Tohru's grandfather is one of the more sympathetic examples from the manga. He really does love his son, but it's implied he had very little hand in Katsuya's upbringing because the two rarely saw eye-to-eye. In present times in the series, he loves Tohru dearly but his poor health means that he has to be cared for by Tohru's aunt and uncle. Realizing he can't do much to protect her from their cruelty and not wanting her to feel trapped, the best he can do is urge her to go somewhere else, if there's a place she'd rather be at.
* In ''Manga/NarutoGaiden'', an abuse in the form of neglect is presented with [[spoiler: Sakura. While she is married to Sasuke and gave birth to Sarada with him, she stayed silent for over 10 years about Sasuke's disappearance within the family (he's out-in-duty watching over Orochimaru's hideout). She didn't tell Sarada anything about him besides the fact that he's a part of their family, and even actually ''lied'' by presenting Sasuke's old photo with Taka members, except by overlaying their figures with hers. While this problem is rectified in the end, it doesn't stop the fact that she basically did emotional abuse to her daughter by not giving her evidence. Abuse that started early and went on for over a decade doesn't magically heal by simply finding the answer in RealLife, as the series shows.]]

* A rare male example, Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler's father in ''Film/BoogieNights''. Despite only a few brief scenes in the beginning, it's pretty clear that the mother is an alcoholic and emotional abuser, and the father does nothing to stand up to his son.

* In Jackie French's ''Summerland'' (not to be confused with several works of the same name), Bridget's mother is the in-denial variant of the spineless parent. She knows her husband is dangerous, and at least makes an attempt to get her daughter out of the way before he arrives home, but is ultimately always making excuses for him: if only she were a better wife, if only Bridget would be good and not make him so angry.... Eventually, Bridget stands up for herself and leaves home to seek the safety of her grandparents' house. Her mum supports this decision, yet her main concern is that Bridget doesn't let them know what's going on.

* In the ''Literature/{{Divergent}}'' series, [[spoiler: Four's mom, Evelyn, escaped from the abusive family life she had and left her hapless son to be abused by his father, Marcus, for over 10 years. She knew that the abuse is going on, but deliberately never met, comforted, or retook her job as a mom afterward, until he was 16 years old. Unlike many examples in the series, though, it's very much called out: the first time that the two reunited, Four proceeded to give [[WhatTheHellHero her a middle finger and refused to meet her again]] (though he changed his mind eventually). Tris also doesn't like to be in her company for similar reasons.]]

* The self-help psychology book ''If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with your Past and Take you place in the World'' identified such parent as a "Childlike Parent" who "Feeling incapable or needy, Childlike parents offer their children little protection. Childlike parents, woefully uncomfortable with themselves, encourage their children to take care of them, thereby controlling through role-reversal."
* ''Literature/AFrozenHeart'', a tie-in novel to ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013'', reveals that Prince Hans lives with an abusive family, where his [[AbusiveParents father]] and 11 of his 12 older brothers constantly mock, beat up and mistreat Hans everyday. [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas His mother]] was very much against this, but years of her husband's cruelty and abuse at everyone has made her terrified, reducing her to an ExtremeDoormat who is unable to do anything but give Hans small smiles to acknowledge him, but his brothers pick on him for it. [[spoiler:Her reaction to what her youngest son did in Arendelle is never revealed]].

** I Samuel 2 features Eli, the elderly priest and judge of Israel, who neglected or failed to discipline his sons, Hophni and Phinehas, and as a result, his adult sons extorted raw meat from the ones bringing the offering when the fat was supposed to be burned off (Leviticus 3:3-5), and to make matters worse, they slept with the women who assembled at the tabernacle's entrance. By the time Eli reproves them, they ignore his warnings; the situation isn't helped by Eli's age, which was about 80-something to 90-something years old. A prophet comes along warning Eli that his sons would be slain in battle and that Eli's sins would not be atoned for; instead Eli's adoptive apprentice, Samuel, becomes the next High Priest and leader of Israel.

* Cinderella's Father in ''Theatre/IntoTheWoods'' is just enough of a character to ignore the abuse she suffers at the hands of her Stepmother and Stepsisters. He'd be window dressing, if not for the fact that she addresses him directly as he accompanies the others to the Prince's ball. He brushes her off, but doesn't offer any abuse of his own.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}},'' Jake had a HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood (mostly psychological, it seems) from his now-deceased father, "Mad-Dog" Morgendorffer. One episode has his mother Ruth visit and admit that she wishes that she had stood up to Mad-Dog, both for Jake and for herself. (A tie-in book also includes a bitter letter that Jake sent to his father, with a parenthetical note to Ruth saying that he doesn't blame her, because he knows that she could never stand up to him.)

[[folder:Visual novels]]
* In ''VisualNovel/CinderellaPhenomenon'', King Genaro didn't do much to protect his daughter, Princess Lucette, against the abuse she suffered in her childhood. This was because he feared the abuser wouldn't let him see Lucette anymore if he tried to intervene.
[[/folder]]

* In ''VisualNovel/CinderellaPhenomenon'', King Genaro didn't do much to protect his daughter, Princess Lucette, from the abuse she suffered in her childhood. This was because he feared the abuser wouldn't let him see Lucette anymore if he tried to intervene.