History Main / SquashMatch

* At [=WrestleMania=] [=XXIV=], Wrestling/{{Kane}} defeated [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/us/ecw/ecw-h.html WWE ECW Heavyweight Champion]] Wrestling/ChavoGuerreroJr for the title in ''ten seconds''. '''''Ouch.'''''

* A most satisfying squash was [[Wrestling/{{LayCool}} Michelle [=McCool=]]] versus Wrestling/MickieJames for the Women's Championship at the 2010 ''Royal Rumble''. Resident BitchInSheepsClothing [=McCool=] had been taunting poor Mickie for weeks about being "[[HollywoodPudgy fat]]" (calling her "Piggie James") and had her henchwomen [[BreakTheCutie douse Mickie with punch and smash her face into a heavily frosted cake, causing Mickie to burst into tears and run out of the arena]]. [=McCool=] kept ranting about how she had embarrassed James right out of WWE, and had her best friend Layla mock her by wearing a fat suit and a pig snout. At the ''Royal Rumble'', [=McCool=] came out first and flat-out announced to the crowd that her opponent was too scared to show up. She and Layla were still gloating when a familiar musical theme hit and....MICKIE JAMES made an appearance on WWE programming for the first time in weeks! [=McCool=]'s jaw was still on the floor from shock when James knocked her out and pinned her to win the title in ''less than half a minute''. Michelle and Layla then were humiliated by Mickie and her friends with a big messy cake to the face in a splendid little PayEvilUntoEvil moment ([[MoralDissonance although some fans did not like it]]).

* Sendai Girl's Pro Wrestling's 2015 celebration show for the 20 year career of Meiko Satomura, featured a glaring mismatch pitting Sakura Hirota against Jinsei Shinzaki, who outweighed her by about 39 kg(138lbs to 224lbs). Hirota was squashed in 11 seconds. However, she shook it off and took [[TheOneGuy him]] on in an immediate rematch...which she also lost but at least managed to last more than five minutes in.

There's a fourth, much rarer use for the squash match, and that's when it's used to set up a WhamEpisode when a high-tier star gets absolutely [[TheWorfEffect Worfed]] when the audience was expecting a more even contest- see [[Wrestling/JohnCena Cena]] vs [[Wrestling/BrockLesnar Lesnar]], Lesnar vs Wrestling/{{Goldberg}}, and Wrestling/{{Cody|Rhodes}} vs [[Wrestling/BrodieLee Lee]] below. When done properly, this can create some of the greatest and most shocking moments in wrestling history; when done badly it can badly derail a wrestler's career, but either way it's not something that can be done often.

-->-- A presquashed '''Matt Striker''', ''[[Wrestling/WWERaw Monday Night Raw]]''

* Wrestling/KevinNash, as Diesel, needed only eight seconds to relieve Wrestling/BobBacklund of the WWF Championship at a house show in 1994. This is an anomaly, because it was the last time the world title changed hands at a non-televised event (though there were cameras rolling, and thus the WWF's weekend recap shows were able to show highlights... which in this case consisted of the entire 8-second match).

* When Big Daddy V (a.k.a. Mabel, King Mabel and Viscera) was being pushed in the InNameOnly ECW, he once won a ''Three-on-One'' Squash Match. Said one reviewer, [[AC: "Winner -- Big Daddy V, via murder"]].

* One match in the [[TournamentArc Mahora Martial Arts Tournament]] in ''Anime/MahouSenseiNegima'' pitted a random bit character against the supremely powerful FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire Evangeline K [=McDowell=]. She won the match instantly, in a single blow, without even focusing on the fight.

->"The WWE universe, they want legitimate competition, nobody wants to see mindless carnage."
-->--A presquashed '''Matt Striker''', ''[[Wrestling/WWERaw Monday Night Raw]]''

Compare BeginWithAFinisher, CurbStompBattle, and TheWorfEffect (given wrestling's [[SportsStory nature]], it's possible to pull off one or both of those tropes without the recipient losing a match). Not to be confused with the racket and ball sport known as squash, though [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_753_the-20-most-amazing-people-youve-never-heard-of_p2/ Heather McKay did "squash" her competition for 19 years.]]

* Wrestling/{{Chyna}} vs. Wrestling/{{Ivory}} at [=WrestleMania XVII=]. Chyna just utterly destroyed Ivory, smiling the entire time like she was throwing around a doll, and then she finished her with a powerbomb. Chyna went for the pin, pulled Ivory up at the count of two, and then opted to gorilla press a defenseless Ivory to a cheering crowd. Then, without turning around to face her again, Chyna sat down and "pinned" Ivory simply by leaning back on her like Ivory was the back of a reclining chair, as the ref counted to 3.

* A particularly infamous example occurred at [=WrestleMania 28=], when Wrestling/{{Sheamus}} squashed [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/wwe/wwe-world-h.html Heavyweight Champion]] [[Wrestling/BryanDanielson Daniel Bryan]] in 18 seconds. The match was so anti-climatic and the result so detestable[[note]](At that time, Daniel Bryan was blazing hot as a self-obsessed {{Heel}} whose dorky, over-the-top celebrations sparked the "Yes! Yes! Yes!" phenomenon. Sheamus was less popular by comparison [although WWE was pushing him much harder than Bryan], but still regarded by many as a good worker and an excellent opponent for Bryan. They were expected to have a classic, well-fought match, with the anticipation heightened by the fact that the Bryan/Sheamus title match at the ''last'' Wrestlemania was unfairly bumped to "dark match" status.)[[/note]] that it severely deflated the audience for the next two matches and led to an InternetBackdraft. The worst part was that Wrestling/{{WWE}} was ''trying'' to create a "Wrestlemania Moment" by having Sheamus break the record for the shortest ever [=WrestleMania=] title match, and ''they failed to beat it'', [[ShaggyDogStory rendering the entire exercise a complete waste]].

Compare CurbStompBattle and TheWorfEffect (given wrestling's [[SportsStory nature]], it's possible to pull off one or both of those tropes without the recipient losing a match). Not to be confused with the racket and ball sport known as squash, though [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_753_the-20-most-amazing-people-youve-never-heard-of_p2/ Heather McKay did "squash" her competition for 19 years.]]

* One match in the [[TournamentArc Mahora Martial Arts Tournament]] in ''VideoGame/{{Negima}}'' pitted a random bit character against the supremely powerful FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire Evangeline K [=McDowell=]. She won the match instantly, in a single blow, without even focusing on the fight.
* ''Anime/SamuraiDeeperKyo'' takes this trope to a whole other level when Kyo ends a TournamentArc early by demanding that every remaining contestant (aside from his allies) fight him at once so he can get the tournament over with, ending in him killing them all in seconds.

* The battle against Zote in the Colosseum of Fools in ''VideoGame/HollowKnight'' plays out like this. It only takes about a dozen hits to lay him out, and in the meantime [[ZeroEffortBoss he's incapable of hurting the player]], or even jumping without falling over himself, for that matter.

-->--A presquashed '''Matt Striker''', ''Monday Night Raw''

The squash match is an extremely quick match, where one guy [[CurbStompBattle completely wrecks the other]]. These matches rarely last longer than a minute. Squash matches are usually used to portray the squasher as an unstoppable force. Therefore, TheGiant and the WrestlingMonster are the most common squashers.

This tactic was most in vogue during the late Eighties and early Nineties, where top stars retained their star power by being fed a steady supply of rookies while their upcoming opponents were groomed in the short-term by the same method. A typical episode of ''[[Wrestling/{{WWERaw}} WWF/E Monday Night Raw]]'' during that time would consist of four to five short squash matches, and one main event that would usually be either a squash by a top-level star or end in a non-finish. The [[ButtMonkey faceless losers]] that were on the receiving end of these matches were euphemistically referred to as "enhancement talent" (aka {{Jobber}}s, as in "doing the job", 'cuz someone has to lose), with [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/category/jobbers/jotw/ a handful gaining cult fame or even making entire careers out of it.]][[note]]In professional wrestling, the majority of work is usually done by the person ''receiving'' the moves rather than the person performing them: setting up the move, executing the move in a safe fashion for both wrestlers and making it look like the move was effective. Because this skill set is so critically important, this can lead to a strange phenomenon where the perpetual losers are actually ''better'' at their jobs than the winners, and stay losers because [[TheDilbertPrinciple they're so good at making others look better.]][[/note]]

An over-abundance of squash matches were also one of the reasons why Wrestling/{{WWE}} lost their lead in the ratings battle with WCW for over a year, as their predictable and boring squashes were forced to compete with Monday Nitro's packed card of quality, competitive matches every week. WWE was eventually forced to change their tactics and ditch their reliance on squashes for their main television programs, although their C-level shows (e.g. ''Superstars'', ''Sunday Night Heat'', ''Velocity'') would continue the old ways.

* The Wrestling/UltimateWarrior has had some high-profile squashes. At ''Wrestling/{{SummerSlam}}'' in 1988, he beat the Honky-Tonk Man in 30 seconds to end Honky's 454-day reign as Intercontinental Champion. On ''Saturday Night's Main Event'', evil Japanese wrestler Wrestling/MrFuji boasted that he had acquired an unbeatable martial arts master named "Super Ninja" and played it up as though it were to be a massive challenge, but the match ended up being a squash that ended in less than 2-1/2 minutes (No explanation was ever offered, but it was possible that the "Super Ninja" was a last minute substitution for a challenger who no-showed). Then, at ''[=WrestleMania=] XII'', he defeated a young Wrestling/TripleH in less than 2 minutes after being hit with a Pedigree and [[NoSell no-selling it]].
** Although in the Warrior's case, squashes were necessary as he was in such poor condition from steroid abuse that his ring entrance (a sprint to the ring) would leave him breathless and exhausted. There's a reason his generally-considered best match (against Wrestling/RandySavage at ''[=WrestleMania=] VII'', which went a shade over 20 minutes) had Warrior ''walk'' to the ring to start it.

** Wrestling/SantinoMarella currently holds the prestigious record of quickest Royal Rumble elimination, as he was not done stepping through the ropes before being clotheslined promptly right back over them. The group of fans in the front row who spelled out "SANTINO" as he entered were likely unamused, however.

** Wrestling/MikeyWhipwreck was Old-School Wrestling/{{ECW}}'s King of the Squashes. His theme was Music/{{Beck}}'s "Loser". Wrestling/JoeyStyles lost it when Whipwreck ''got in an offensive move''. When he lucked into getting a title, he constantly begged ECW to take the belt off him, even getting a note from his mother about it. He 'won' his title defenses through a combination of run-ins, dumb luck and the occasional disqualification.

* A particularly infamous example occurred at [=WrestleMania 28=], when Wrestling/{{Sheamus}} squashed [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/wwe/wwe-world-h.html Heavyweight Champion]] [[Wrestling/BryanDanielson Daniel Bryan]] in 18 seconds. The match was so anti-climatic and the result so detestable[[note]](At that time, Daniel Bryan was blazing hot as a self-obsessed {{Heel}} whose dorky, over-the-top celebrations sparked the "Yes! Yes! Yes!" phenomenon. Sheamus was less popular by comparison [although WWE was pushing him much harder than Bryan], but still regarded by many as a good worker and an excellent opponent for Bryan. They were expected to have a classic, well-fought match, with the anticipation heightened by the fact that the Bryan/Sheamus title match at the ''last'' Wrestlemania was unfairly bumped to "dark match" status.)[[/note]] that it severely deflated the audience for the next two matches and led to an InternetBackdraft. The worst part was that Wrestling/{{WWE}} was ''trying'' to create a "Wrestlemania Moment" by having Sheamus break the record for the shortest ever Wrestlemania title match, and ''they failed to beat it'', [[ShaggyDogStory rendering the entire exercise a complete waste]].

The time it would take for a normal person to read this entry is about six times as long as the match Wrestling/HulkHogan had with Wrestling/{{Yokozuna}} for the title at ''Wrestling/{{WrestleMania}} IX''. This is what is called a Squash Match.

This tactic was most in vogue during the late Eighties and early Nineties, where top stars retained their star power by being fed a steady supply of rookies while their upcoming opponents were groomed in the short-term by the same method. A typical episode of ''[[Wrestling/{{WWERaw}} WWF/E Monday Night Raw]]'' during that time would consist of four to five short squash matches, and one main event that would usually be either a squash by a top-level star or end in a non-finish. The [[ButtMonkey faceless losers]] that were on the receiving end of these matches were euphemistically referred to as "enhancement talent" (aka {{Jobber}}s, as in "doing the job", 'cuz someone has to lose), with [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/category/jobbers/jotw/ a handful gaining cult fame or even making entire careers out of it]].[[note]]In professional wrestling, the majority of work is usually done by the person ''receiving'' the moves rather than the person performing them: setting up the move, executing the move in a safe fashion for both wrestlers and making it look like the move was effective. Because this skill set is so critically important, this can lead to a strange phenomenon where the perpetual losers are actually ''better'' at their jobs than the winners, and stay losers because [[TheDilbertPrinciple they're so good at making others look better.]][[/note]]

Compare CurbStompBattle and TheWorfEffect (given wrestling's [[SportsStory nature]], it's possible to pull off one or both of those tropes without the recipient losing a match). Not to be confused with the racket and ball sport known as squash, though [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_753_the-20-most-amazing-people-youve-never-heard-of_p2/ Heather McKay did "squash" her competition for 19 years]].

* Colin Delaney's purpose in life on WWE's ECW brand was being on the wrong end of squash matches, having been squashed by the likes of Wrestling/{{Kane}}, The Great Khali, Big Daddy V, Wrestling/MarkHenry and Wrestling/TheBigShow. The squashes started being [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] with Delaney wearing progressively more ''bandages'' going into the ''next squash,'' but comeuppance came for his tormentor, the General Manager, when the guy was relieved of his post ''and'' his contract, squashed by the SmackDown! brand's U.S. Champion... and then immediately booked against a fresh Colin Delaney, who before long rolled him up for a pin. Delaney then had a meaningless FaceHeelTurn & was [[GeorgeJetsonJobSecurity released from the company without fanfare]].

* Wrestling/BethPhoenix was relegated to these in the several weeks after her transfer to SmackDown, with her being put into squash matches with tiny, nondescript girls - who got little to no offence in as she bitchslaps them from pillar to post. How this was supposed to get her over as anything other than a vicious bully is beyond comprehension...

** He also had a very, ''very'' limited moveset (mostly clotheslines, tackles, and simple slams) and often didn't execute them properly. Thus, matches were short to not "stink up the joint" (as Wrestling/TedDiBiase stated) and probably to limit the potentiality that he would injure his opponent through a poorly made slam. The aforementioned Honky Tonk Man squash was HTM's idea. At the time, he insisted it'd be highly satisfying to fans for him to lose that way after using every dirty trick in the book to keep the IC title for over a year, but he later admitted he insisted on being squashed because he didn't want Warrior to injure him.
* A similar bit occurs in the ''Wrestling/RoyalRumble'', where you lose by being tossed over the top rope. Some fans have fond memories of humorous 'runs' lasting under 10 seconds. The shortest of these ever was by The Warlord, at the Royal Rumble 1989, in which he lasted all of 2 seconds before being clotheslined over the top by Wrestling/HulkHogan. He stepped in the ring, and got knocked right back out again.
** Wrestling/SantinoMarella currently holds the prestigious record of quickest Royal Rumble elimination, as he was not done stepping through the ropes before being clotheslined promptly right back over them. The group of fans in the front row who spelled out "SANTINO" as he entered were, likely, unamused.

* When Big Daddy V (a.k.a. Mabel, King Mabel and Viscera) was being pushed on [[InNameOnly ECW]] he once won a ''Three-on-One'' Squash Match. Said one reviewer, [[AC: "Winner -- Big Daddy V, via murder"]].

* At Survivor Series 1998, [[Wrestling/DwayneJohnson The Rock's]] first round opponent was supposed to be Wrestling/TripleH (a no-show because of a knee injury), but he instead got Wrestling/BigBossman by surprise. The moment Big Boss Man entered the ring, the bell rang, and The Rock put him in an inside cradle. The referee counted 1, 2, 3 and the match was over. It lasted ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0QbBQGj47M three seconds]]''. This would turn out to all be [[KansasCityShuffle part of the plan]], as The Rock would [[FaceHeelTurn turn heel]] after winning the championship against [[Wrestling/MickFoley Mankind]] later that night with [[Wrestling/VinceMcMahon Vince [=McMahon=]]]'s help in a parody of the Wrestling/MontrealScrewjob; in a reference to how much The Rock was loathed early in his career, the people screwed the people. Needless to say, no one [[DidntSeeThatComing really saw that coming]].
* Wrestling/{{TNA}}, ''Victory Road 2011'': In the main event, Wrestling/{{Sting}} defended the TNA World Heavyweight Championship against Wrestling/JeffHardy in ''ninety seconds''. To put that in perspective, the introductions and announcements preceding the match lasted over eight minutes. Unfortunately, this was due to the worst of reasons: Hardy was "in no condition to perform"[[note]]Reports vary on exactly ''when'' TNA officials noticed this. Some reports suggest that it was noticed early but the officials decided that he could "shake it off" before the match; others suggest that it was only when Hardy was (failing to) ascend the entrance rampway that officials realised something was horribly wrong.[[/note]] and Sting was instructed to end it early to minimise the risk of injury to both performers. Despite being told he'd be taking a quick dive before the match started, Hardy inexplicably tried to ''kick out'' of Sting's initial pin, but Sting visibly held him down to force the issue. And Sting was righteously ''pissed'' about it. (You can see it [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V6ulxTRSDc here]], but it's not pretty.)

* A particularly infamous example occurred at [=WrestleMania 28=], when Wrestling/{{Sheamus}} squashed [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/wwe/wwe-world-h.html Heavyweight Champion]] [[Wrestling/BryanDanielson Daniel Bryan]] in 18 seconds. The match was so anti-climatic and the result so detestable[[note]](At that time, Daniel Bryan was blazing hot as a self-obsessed {{Heel}} whose dorky, over-the-top celebrations sparked the "Yes! Yes! Yes!" phenomenon. Sheamus was less popular by comparison [although WWE was pushing him much harder than Bryan], but still regarded by many as a good worker and an excellent opponent for Bryan. They were expected to have a classic, well-fought match, with the anticipation heightened by the fact that the Bryan/Sheamus title match at the ''last'' Wrestlemania was unfairly bumped to "dark match" status.)[[/note]] that it severely deflated the audience for the next two matches and led to an InternetBackdraft. The worst part was that the Wrestling/{{WWE}} were ''trying'' to create a "Wrestlemania Moment" by having Sheamus break the record for the shortest ever Wrestlemania title match, and ''they failed to beat it'', [[ShaggyDogStory rendering the entire exercise a complete waste]].

* ''ComicStrip/{{Curtis}}'': The title character's favorite athlete, a former world champion boxer named Percy Percy Coleman (meant to be a clear Expy of former Real Life champion Buster Douglas), often attempts comeback fights that always end with him being on the receiving end of one of these. The match ALWAYS is described with these lines:

* Wrestling/BethPhoenix seems to have been relegated to these in the past several weeks since her transfer to SmackDown, with her being put into squash matches with tiny, nondescript girls - who get little to no offence in as she bitchslaps them from pillar to post. How this is supposed to get her over as anything other than a vicious bully is beyond comprehension...

* In mid-2011, Wrestling/BrodusClay has had several matches like this on B-show ''Wrestling/WWESuperstars.'' He even pulls their heads up from his first attempt at a pinfall to beat on them some more. The jobbers could count themselves lucky if they managed to get a single offensive move (or even a dodge) in against him. Often a more literal example than usual, as Clay weighs in at ''375 pounds'' and has used a leaping crossbody and a running splash as finishers, meaning they'd practically have to scrape his opponents off the mat.
* A June 11th 2011 Ice Ribbon show saw Emi Sakura on the mid card, looking to start evening the score against her former pupil Tsukushi, who had somehow or another beaten Sakura in their last four encounters. The bell rang and Tsukushi got her fastest win yet, pinning Sakura in four seconds(it'd take another five matches for Emi to finally get a win and even then it was a tag match).
* A particularly infamous example occurred at [=WrestleMania 28=], when Wrestling/{{Sheamus}} squashed [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/wwe/wwe-world-h.html Heavyweight Champion]] [[Wrestling/BryanDanielson Daniel Bryan]] in 18 seconds. The match was so anti-climatic and the result so detestable[[note]](At that time, Daniel Bryan was blazing hot as a self-obsessed {{Heel}} whose dorky, over-the-top celebrations sparked the "Yes! Yes! Yes!" phenomenon. Sheamus was less popular by comparison (although WWE was pushing him much harder than Bryan), but still regarded by many as a good worker and an excellent opponent for Bryan. They were expected to have a classic, well-fought match, with the anticipation heightened by the fact that the Bryan/Sheamus title match at the ''last'' Wrestlemania was unfairly bumped to "dark match" status.)[[/note]] that it severely deflated the audience for the next two matches and led to an InternetBackdraft. The worst part was that the Wrestling/{{WWE}} were ''trying'' to create a "Wrestlemania Moment" by having Sheamus break the record for the shortest ever Wrestlemania title match, and ''they failed to beat it'', rendering the entire exercise a complete waste.