History Main / SafeSaneAndConsensual

* ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'': If Commander [[PlayerCharacter Shepard]] decides to romance one of their squadmates, then the ship's doctor [[TheSmartGuy Mordin]] will pull them aside to have a chat on "medical matters." Which is to say, he's giving you TheTalk about how to have Safe, Sane, and Consensual intercourse no matter who you choose to romance. His advice is not played as a joke, since Shepard's potential love interests include [[MindOverMatter Jack]] (a mentally unstable psychic), [[ProfessionalKiller Thane]] (who's BizarreAlienBiology may cause hallucinations during intercourse), and [[IllGirl Tali]] (who cannot survive outside an environmental suit, so guidance for physical intimacy is certainly needed).

---> "Somehow we both seem to have forgotten the Safe part. Quite possibly the Sane bit as well."

* This is the core philosophy of Mistress Matisse's and Creator/DanSavage's sex columns for The Seattle Stranger and Georgia Straight. Savage has specifically said in articles that the only things he considers completely unacceptable are rape, [[LoliconAndShotacon pedophilia]], [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprophilia coprophilia.]] He also tends to caution against cheating except in very extreme cases (for example, an abusive partner), though he is an advocate for ''[[MyGirlIsASlut consensual]]'' [[MyGirlIsASlut non-monogamy]].

* Played hilariously (and almost ingeniously) in ''ComicBook/MisterMiracle2017'', which reveals not only that [[ComicBook/NewGods Scott Free/Mister Miracle]] is in a happy, loving relationship with Big Barda, he's into bondage sex. While the sex scene doesn't show him and Barda exchanging {{Safe Word}}s, Scott's entire superhero-shtick is being the greatest EscapeArtist in the universe, and had already demonstrated previously in the series to have escaped multiple {{Death Trap}}s. When he says "I can always escape," you'll probably believe him.

-->-- "My Conviction", ''Theatre/{{Hair}}''

* '''[[UsefulNotes/{{Consent}} Consensual]]''' means that everyone involved agrees without coercion, and also has a sufficiently high intellectual capacity so they understand the risks and consequences of their actions. (Legally speaking, everyone who has reached a certain age is expected to have reached such capacity, outside of those with cognitive disabilities.) [[SlippingAMickey Those who are drugged down with high doses of alcohol or similar]] [[QuestionableConsent may not be able to give meaningful consent]] [[WhatDidIDoLastNight because of the effects of those substances]] [[AlcoholInducedIdiocy on inhibitions and mental faculties.]]

This pattern can also be used to describe, for example, the difference between an honest boxing match and simply beating someone up. There are many variations of the pattern: Consenting Adults, Informed Consent, [[FunWithAcronyms Risk Aware Consensual Kink]], and so on. But while nuances may differ and may be important in specific contexts, the basic concept is the same: Everyone involved does not merely give lip-service consent, they know what they are getting into and are capable of deciding for themselves what they want and don't want. For more on the fine nuances of the difference between these phrases, see the [[UsefulNotes/{{Consent}} Useful Notes entry on Consent]].

* ''Manga/{{Evangelion 303}}'': In chapter 17, twenty-years-old Shinji and Asuka explore their relationship's sexual dynamics further. Asuka wants to try bondage games. When Shinji asks if she is REALLY, ABSOLUTELY sure that she wants to get tied up and spanked by him, she retorts that she is and he better do so now. Later, when he says he is surprised at her being a sub, she explains THAT is the point of fantasy. During the chapter, Shinji reflects that Asuka had probably fantasized about it for a long time, but before him, she had never met someone she trusted enough to try it, and she wanted to be sure she could share her secret fantasies with him before [[spoiler:their wedding]].

* Played both ways in ''Fanfic/{{Eroninja}}''. Anko has a thing for BDSM which Naruto is willing to indulge but some of her kinks are too extreme for him, which she agrees not to try after he says no. Haruna however, was essentially abused into becoming a submissive SexSlave who needs to be heavily abused to get off. Initially, her bodyguards fulfill the role as she can trust them to keep their sex life separate from their day to day lives but when they die, she finds herself in dire straits. Eventually, Naruto learns of her condition and gives her to Anko so both can indulge their kinks, and Anko only pushes things too far once and only to make sure Haruna wasn't too broken to use the safe word she was given.

* The Time Warp from ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'' is implied to be this for most, genuinely weird, Transylvanians. Contrast this with Frank-N-Furter's [[CorruptTheCutie "Experiments" with easily-manipulated humans]].

* In ''Slave Jade'', the female lead is a sexually submissive woman who starts dating a "dominant" psycho who kidnaps her and executes a miserable attempt at inducing StockholmSyndrome. Before they actually met, he seemed to have a very good understanding of consent and safety -- what she didn't know is that the bulk of his mails to her were reasonable ideas that he never thought in his own head, but merely copy/pasted from various sites. [[spoiler:In the end, she shoots him and escapes. He survives the bullet and ends up in jail for all he did to her, while her shooting him is ruled as self-defence. In the epilogue she decides to find a new man to dominate her -- a man who isn't psycho, but really understand SSC.]]
* In the ''Literature/KushielsLegacy'' universe, things can get plenty kinky, but there are ''rules'' in place and violating them isn't just illegal, it's ''heresy''. Both law and custom ensure that even indentured sex servants only participate if they enjoy that kind of thing, and sometimes with a bodyguard waiting, just in case things go too far.

* The 4:th and 8:th commandment of ''Literature/TheGospelOfTheFlyingSpaghettiMonster''.
* In ''Slave World'', this trope is sometimes played straight, but usually overtly Defied with a lot of LampshadeHanging that the plot is not SSC and thus not [=BDSM=] even though it makes great [=BDSM=] appeal.

* ''[[Literature/TheMillenniumTrilogy The Girl Who Played with Fire]]'', Lisbeth has previously been tied up and raped. Despite this, she finds it quite pleasing when her lover Miriam ties her up during their various sexual encounters.

* In ''Series/{{Rome}}'', Octavius is shown to have a lot of weird hang-ups over sex. During the consummation of his arranged marriage, his new wife reveals an interest in S&M, which he discovers he's really into. Their marriage is a happy one.
* ''Series/NipTuck'': In one episode a dominatrix who's been hired by a guilt-ridden CEO PatientOfTheWeek makes a brief appearance. She actually tortured him with fish hooks while he's still recuperating, but took care to use an antiseptic on the wound.

* '''[[UsefulNotes/{{Consent}} Consensual]]''' means that everyone involved agrees without coercion, and also has a sufficiently high intellectual capacity so they understand the risks and consequences of their actions. (Legally speaking, everyone who has reached a certain age is expected to have reached such capacity, outside of those with cognitive disabilities.) [[SlippingAMickey Those who are drugged down with high doses of alcohol or similar]] [[QuestionableConsent may not be able to give meaningful consent]] [[WhatDidIDoLastNight because of the effects of those substances]] [[AlcoholInducedStupidity on inhibitions and mental faculties.]]

* This is the core philosophy of Mistress Matisse's and Creator/DanSavage's sex columns for The Seattle Stranger and Georgia Straight. Savage has specifically said in articles that the only things he considers completely unacceptable are rape, [[LoliconAndShotacon pedophilia]], [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprophilia coprophilia.]] He also tends to caution against [[YourCheatingHeart cheating]] except in very extreme cases (for example, an abusive partner), though he is an advocate for ''[[MyGirlIsASlut consensual]]'' [[MyGirlIsASlut non-monogamy]].

* In ''Fanfic/ThePowerOfSeven'', Harry's dynamic with Demelza, in particular, depends on them both acknowledging the limits of their interaction, as Demelza has a definite interest in tales of experienced men protecting/seducing lower-class women. This prompts Harry to approach their relationship in the manner of a team captain giving her guidance, to the point that Demelza refers to him as 'Captain' during their encounters- even [[spoiler:referring to him as 'Master' during some of their later liasions]]- and has even been told she has a safe word (although she's never used it to date, expressing complete faith that Harry will protect and reward her). Harry also demonstrates another important facet of this trope: if he even thinks something's gone wrong, he asks Demelza to confirm she's okay, safe word or no. So far he's always misread it and Demelza is fine (or better than fine), but pausing and checking in to make sure is an important part of SSC. Thanks to Harry's genuinely caring nature, it's a part he understands intuitively.

* Mary Jo Putney's {{Regency|England}}-set RomanceNovel features the villain kidnapping and imprisoning a woman in order to force her to dominate him, [[spoiler:with the intention of finally "turning the tables" and murdering her]]. It's not safe, sane, ''or'' consensual, and it would be textbook BondageIsBad -- except that the investigation includes a conversation with the madam of a whipping brothel, who educates the investigator (and the reader) about the difference between this form of violence and the consensual games in ''her'' establishment.

* ''{{Series/Hollywood}}'': Ernie services one client who's into really hardcore bondage and submission -- his requests include being shouted at, beaten, tied up, and left at the side of the road. Ernie happily complies, but irritates the guy because he keeps breaking character to make sure he's okay, leading to a truly hilarious scene where he screams at the client and calls him a worthless pervert, shoves him into the trunk of his car... and then not even a split second later, kindly asks him if he tied him up too tight and if he's sure he'll be okay back there. It's implied this sort of thing isn't what Ernie is personally into, but if a customer is willing to pay and is fine with it, he's up for anything.

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* In one ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'' strip ([[http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/2010-08-28 28 August 2010]]), the PointyHairedBoss is trying to make people believe that slave labor is ok by pretending that "slave" really refers to the [=BDSM=] kind of slavery rather then economical exploitation of poor people.

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* ''VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition'': If the Inquisitor pursues a relationship with The Iron Bull, the relationship takes on more than a few notes of BDSM, but all through this filter. Bull makes it clear from the start that the Inquisitor is in control, and he'll do nothing the Inquisitor doesn't want to be done — and if the Inquisitor says "no," then Bull just drops the arrangement with no grudges. If [[TheEmpath Cole]] is in the party, at some point, he may mention that, while Bull leads in the bedroom, the Inquisitor maintains the power in the proceedings. Also Bull is very explicit about what the point of this is: The Inquisitor is someone who never asked to be in a position of power and this is a way to destress. He has no interest in pushing it farther into a lifestyle (which can be very emotionally risky). Though ManOfSteelWomanOfKleenex means there is some risk, particularly if your Inquisitor happens to be a female elf.
* The short independent VisualNovel ''Cute Demon Crashers!'' is all about this. HornyDevils have worked out that it's a lot easier to get fed if they approach people while they're awake and play nice, so they've taken to helping humans safely explore their sexuality. All of the game's H-scenes have a button for the PlayerCharacter to say "stop" at any point, which ends the sex and has their parter immediately start calming them down.

* ''Webcomic/{{Collar6}}'' started off (seemingly) as little more than a comic set in a world where BDSM relationships (especially lesbian ones) were [[ConvenientlyCommonKink publicly expressed and accepted]]. Some aspects were PlayedForLaughs, others just [[AuthorAppeal raw titillation]], until the strip entered a particular storyline that [[MoralEventHorizon crossed a variety of lines no couple should]]. After a combination of a firestorm of fan responses and his own rethinking of the situation, the author spent the majority of the next chunk of story having the characters [[CharacterDevelopment coming to terms with the facts]] that secrets like the ones Mistress Sixx had kept, and some of the "play" she involved Laura in without first getting consent, were absolutely wrong. Since then, anyone who intentionally continues to violate the norm of SSC guidelines are explicitly evil or at least deluded. Although it should be said that this is also a world where "dominant" and "submissive" spiritual-sexual energies are explicit MAGIC tends to make some of the definitions of "sane" get a bit wobbly.

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* ''VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition'': If the Inquisitor pursues a relationship with The Iron Bull, the relationship takes on more than a few notes of BDSM, but all through this filter. Bull makes it clear from the start that the Inquisitor is in control, and he'll do nothing the Inquisitor doesn't want to be done — and if the Inquisitor says "no," then Bull just drops the arrangement with no grudges. If [[TheEmpath Cole]] is in the party, at some point, he may mention that, while Bull leads in the bedroom, the Inquisitor maintains the power in the proceedings.

* Played both ways in ''[[https://ficwad.com/story/213011 Eroninja]]''. Anko has a thing for BDSM which Naruto is willing to indulge but some of her kinks are too extreme for him, which she agrees not to try after he says no. Haruna however, was essentially abused into becoming a submissive SexSlave who needs to be heavily abused to get off. Initially, her bodyguards fulfill the role as she can trust them to keep their sex life separate from their day to day lives but when they die, she finds herself in dire straits. Eventually, Naruto learns of her condition and gives her to Anko so both can indulge their kinks, and Anko only pushes things too far once and only to make sure Haruna wasn't too broken to use the safe word she was given.

* In ''Fanfic/ThePowerOfSeven'', Harry's dynamic with Demelza, in particular, depends on them both acknowledging the limits of their interaction, as Demelza has a definite interest in tales of experienced men protecting/seducing lower-class women. This prompts Harry to approach their relationship in the manner of a team captain giving her guidance, to the point that Demelza refers to him as 'Captain' during their encounters and has even been told she has a safe word (although she's never used it to date, expressing complete faith that Harry will protect and reward her).

* [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/938255 "The Lucky Hand"]] is a short fic of ''Literature/HoratioHornblower'' (book 'verse with taking some characterization for Pellew from the TV 'verse) in which Commodore Pellew spanks Lieutenant Hornblower, who previously served under him as a midshipman. It's agreed between them that it will be only hand and Pellew wants to hear that Hornblower knows it's all play.

* In ''Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse'' fanfic, [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/8855068/chapters/20305006 "The Watcher Watched"]] Tony Stark stresses to Loki the importance of enthusiastic consent and mutual pleasure multiple times much to Loki's confusion due to his personal history with bad BDSM relationships and Asgard's negative views on BDSM and homosexuality.

** It also doesn't seem entirely '''Consensual'' - Just look at the look of shock and confusion on Paul's face as Marcy hurls him insistently down on to the mattress! Can you really say he looks 100% happy to be there?