History JustForFun / ThingsWeHaveLearntFromMedia

* TelevisionIsTryingToKillUs.

* Absolutely anything can be made to [[RuleOfCool look cool]], or at least as though it's [[MundaneMadeAwesome supposed to be cool,]] with judicious use of CameraTricks, stirring speeches and a suitably rousing [[OrchestralBombing classical]] or [[EpicRocking rock]] soundtrack.

* [[DeathBySex Sex will kill you]] and there is [[ButWeUsedACondom no such thing as effective contraception]]. [[AManIsNotAVirgin Guys still need to have sex]], but [[MyGirlIsNotASlut the girls they do it with are filthy sluts]].

* If you love somebody, [[DefeatMeansFriendship blow them up]]. Courtesy of [[MagicalGirlLyricalNanoha Nanoha Takamachi]].

* Victorian England was a utopia of refinement and civility. They never oppressed anyone, no one ever lived in poverty or squalor and the men were all effeminate, sensitive, and gay even though Alan Turing was chemically castrated for homosexuality and anti-gay laws were only officially repealed in 2003.

** So are [[ThereAreNoGoodExecutives corporations]]. Actually, let's just say it outright, [[EvilVersusEvil everyone]] [[HobbesWasRight is]] [[HumansAreBastards evil]]. If you hate all of humanity, then you're clearly a deep moral thinker. But if you hate only one race, then you're a racist.

** And not to mention [[XenaWarriorPrincess King David, Julius Caesar and Boudicca are all contemporaries, the Trojan Wars happened a few years before the birth of Christ, and katana-wielding samurai existed in Japan at the same time as them all.]] These things did ''not'' [[AnachronismStew happen/exist over a period of several thousand years, as we have been led to believe.]]

* Even if [[YouSuck you're astonishingly stupid and incompetent]], following your dreams will make them come true. Always.

** ''Side-effects may vary, your goodness [[LoveMakesYouEvil may go down]] as well as up. Please consult your physician.''

* [[CuteKidsAndRobots Children, robots]] and [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter animals]] are really annoying but [[InfantImmortality never die]].

* God exists and takes all the good Christians in Hollywood to Heaven; everyone else burns in Hell.

* Absolutely anything can be made to [[RuleOfCool look cool]], or at least as though it's [[MundaneMadeAwesome supposed to be cool,]] with judicious use of CameraTricks, stirring speeches and a suitably rousing classical or rock soundtrack.

* All men are unfulfilled unless they are drinking the right beer, have huge penises, and have hair that both exists and is not grey. Unless they are Scottish or [[NotEvenBotheringWithTheAccent British pretending to be French]]. Then, [[GrandmaWhatMassiveHotnessYouHave having grey hair or being bald just makes them sexier]].

* [[ThoseWackyNazis The Nazis]] were sufficiently advanced to create an army of vampires and an effeminate catboy who exists everywhere and nowhere at once due to a quantum singularity dividing his existence by zero. And math is the only way to kill {{Dracula}}. (''Manga/{{Hellsing}}'')

* At least 1 percent of Americans, and 1 percent of British citizens, are serial killers.

* Hitting someone's head (it helps to have an implement, but your fist will do) very, very hard is a safe, easy, and effective way of knocking him out for anywhere from several minutes to a few hours. He may say, "Oooh, my head hurts," when he awakes, or hold an icepack to his forehead (regardless of where you hit him), but he'll be just fine.
** It is also the perfect way to cause or cure retrograde amnesia.

* Bullying is wrong. Crushing people's minds, however, is A-OK!
* The {{Jerkass}} wil always find a way to avoid elimination, and will always avoid retribution until the finals or semi-finals, when he gets an appropriatly karmic comeupance from the EnsembleDarkHorse.
* [[TheAnnoyingOrange Oranges are annoying, even to each other]].

* If you like anything not intended for your age bracket or sex -- or worse, both -- you are a pedophile.

* ''Anything'' in life can be connected to--[[{{Misblamed}} or]] [[HateDumb blamed on]]--''TheSimpsons''.

** And [[MortalKombat have magical powers.]]

* Any name, no matter how strange, unpronounceable or [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast obviously evil]] it is, can be passed off with "Hm, must be foreign".

* Reality television is more sadistic and satanic than all of the fictional Hollywood bloodbaths combined. It can never truly be socially conscious. There's absolutely no difference between a show like "Jersey Shore" and a show like "Survivor" despite the former being about drinking and partying and the latter being about working together to survive. The absolute worst fate that anyone can suffer is being told that his or her singing sucks on American Idol by Simon Cowell.
* Men and women can never just be friends without falling in love. True love always happens on first sight. If the characters hate each other, it is written in the stars that they'll love each other in the end.
* Television news programs are nothing but propaganda and trashy celebrity gossip. Except for comedian commentators who are never afraid to tell it like it is.

*** Cars have short-range warp drives so they can [[Series/CoronationStreet be in Salford one second and Ashton-under-Lyne the next]] or [[Series/TwentyFour negotiate L.A. traffic in a matter of minutes]].

*** Cars have short-range warp drives so they can [[CoronationStreet be in Salford one second and Ashton-under-Lyne the next]] or [[Series/TwentyFour negotiate L.A. traffic in a matter of minutes]].

** So are [[ThereAreNoGoodExecutives corporations]]. Actually, let's just say it outright, [[EvilVersusEvil everyone]] [[HobbesWasRight is]] [[HumansAreBastards evil]].

* There are never any positive stereotypes of people you admire/negative stereotypes of people you despise. Besides, all of the positive stereoptypes of people you admire/negative stereotypes of people you despise are absolutely 100% true.

* It's always very important to be an intelligent and virtuous person even if doing so will make you a social outcast. If you succeed it's due to nothing more than your own hard work and grit, but if you're a smart person and you still fail it's because other people are always discouraging you and trying to drag you down.

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* There is no such place as UsefulNotes/NorthEastEngland. Unless you're BillyElliot or TheLikelyLads.

* [[NeverTheSelvesShallMeet Never go back in time and meet yourself.]] [[Film/BackToTheFuturePartII You may either pass out from the shock, or create a paradox which will destroy the universe.]] [[TimeCop And if you dare to touch your past self, you will horribly melt into nothing.]]

* [[HighlyVisibleNinja Ninjas can be always identified as such by what they wear,]] especially if [[GodfreyHoNinjaMovies they wear headbands describing their profession.]]

** [[NotGoodWithRejection RejectionMakesYouEvil]].

** RejectionMakesYouEvil.
** TortureMakesYouEvil.

* Any name, no matter how strange, unpronounceable or [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast obviously evil]] it is, can be passed off as 'Hm, must be foreign'.

** [[WesternAnimation/UltimateSpiderman Conflicting evidence:]] you can say whatever you like about anything, as loudly as you like, in an otherwise totally silent room, and no-one will care in the slightest.

TV, film, video games etc. are very educational. [[strike:Even if they're inaccurate.]]

** Heck, a blow to the head can do ''anything'' you like to a person's psyche. Short term memory loss, temporary full amnesia, permanent full amnesia, LaserGuidedAmnesia to forget important plot details, create false memories, make you believe your cover story, anything.

** Heck, a blow to the head can do ''anything'' you like to a person's psyche. Short term memory loss, temporary full amnesia, full amnesia, LaserGuidedAmnesia to forget important plot details, create false memories, make you believe your cover story, anything.

* There is no such place as NorthEastEngland. Unless you're BillyElliot or TheLikelyLads.

* [[NeverTheSelvesShallMeet Never go back in time and meet yourself.]] [[BackToTheFuture You may either pass out from the shock, or create a paradox which will destroy the universe.]] [[TimeCop And if you dare to touch your past self, you will horribly melt into nothing.]]

* Senior citizens, especially old men, almost always talk about how they're going to "take back this country" from us young whippersnappers, but don't usually put much effort into it. Or indeed, any at all. (We're looking at you, [[Series/{{Frasier}} Martin Crane]].)

* [[Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy You can say]]] [[Film/BruceAlmighty pretty much anything]] [[Film/EvanAlmighty as an American news anchor.]] And in the unlikely even that you are fired, just do some really really impressive newscasting and you can be hired again no problem.