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# If I am out and about in my SecretIdentity, and TheHero comes out from nowhere to try to beat me up for my acts, I must enact WoundedGazelleGambit. The people will turn on ''him'' while he tries to tell them [[CassandraTruth the truth]], and better, if recorded, will go a ''long'' way to discredit TheHero as a person who harms innocent people.
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# If I am a Dungeons and Dragons villain, buy or steal that new book written by the witch known as Tasha. It has the means to make my mooks more powerful, especially the lower ranked ones. After that, acquire the other books, for the appropriate edition of Dungeons and Dragons of course.
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# I will never invade Russia... unless my name ends in [[UsefulNotes/{{Mongolia}} Khan.]] Likewise, I will not use my land armies in China unless my name ends in Khan. That being said, I should also note that, even if my surname meets both conditions, nobody said either venture would be easy.
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# If a magical ritual is a key part of my plans, the ritual site will have ample security to deal with any meddling do-gooders who show up.
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# Being a PresidentEvil is overrated if my nation has term limits. It’s much better to put puppet rulers in the Capital.
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# Being a PresidentEvil is overrated if my nation has term limits. It’s much better to put puppet rulers in the Capital.Capital (or Capitol).
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# If I need to buy supplies or expertise from a third party, I will pay them fairly instead of ripping them off or murdering them the moment the job is done. Such things may save me money in the short term, but once word gets around or people notice that my subcontractors are never seen again, nobody will want to do business with me anymore.
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# If I need to buy supplies or expertise from a third party, I will pay them fairly instead of ripping them off or murdering them the moment the job is done. Such things may save me money in the short term, but once word gets around or people notice that my subcontractors are never seen again, nobody will want to do business with me anymore. (The hero can probably turn that to ''his'' advantage.)
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# I will not say the words "or else" to someone unless I can easily best them in a fight or, at the very least, I have good dental insurance.
# I will make sure I have good dental insurance.
# I will make sure I have good dental insurance.
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# I will not say the words "or else" to someone unless I can easily best them in a fight or, at the very least, I have good dental insurance.
#insurance (which I will make sure I have good dental insurance.do).
# I will keep my own {{leitmotif}} confined to the earbuds of my Legions of Terror, lest it alert the Hero and his allies to our Power-Up.
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# I will keep my own {{leitmotif}} confined to the earbuds of my Legions of Terror, lest it alert the Hero and his allies to our Power-Up.
# When having prisoners transported via underground trains, it will not be a singular route. Additionally, I will have my Legions of Terror stationed every 100 ft. or so to watch for (1) allied forces blocking the rails or (2) breakdowns in equipment.
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# If I have a product I need to get to the market, I must never fool my investors and customers if I don't want my good name in danger.
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# If I have a product I need to get to the market, I must never fool my investors and customers if I don't want my good name reputation in danger.
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# If I have a product I need to get to the market, I must never fool my investors and customers if I don't want my good name in danger.
# Similarly I will have my R&D Team work on it so that it doesn't have any unexpected side-effects or shortcomings at the last second.
# Similarly I will have my R&D Team work on it so that it doesn't have any unexpected side-effects or shortcomings at the last second.
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# If possible, never harm the Innocent.
# If I, or my scientists, have created a creature, and it has escaped, and has gone on a killing spree, and the Expert Hunter I've hired tells me that we'd be better off killing it instead of capturing it, I'll admit that the guy has a point. The orders will be Capture if Possible, Kill if Necessary.
# Likewise, when hunting down an escaped creature, safety of the locals and hikers and such take priority over the creature.
# If I, or my scientists, have created a creature, and it has escaped, and has gone on a killing spree, and the Expert Hunter I've hired tells me that we'd be better off killing it instead of capturing it, I'll admit that the guy has a point. The orders will be Capture if Possible, Kill if Necessary.
# Likewise, when hunting down an escaped creature, safety of the locals and hikers and such take priority over the creature.
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# I will not say the words "or else" to someone unless I can easily best them in a fight or, at the very least, I have good dental insurance.
# I will make sure I have good dental insurance.
# I will make sure I have good dental insurance.
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# The interior decor of my Fortress of Doom will not feature pointy objects I could be impaled upon if I lose my footing and stumble backwards during the final showdown with the Hero.
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# If I have no choice but to have a DuelToTheDeath with the hero, I will, during the fight, listen in for their Leitmotif. If it plays at any point, I will [[{{ScrewThisImOuttaHere}} get the hell out of Dodge]] before they get a ThemeMusicPowerUp.
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# If I have no choice but to have a DuelToTheDeath with the hero, I will, during the fight, listen in for their Leitmotif.[[{{Leitmotif}} Leitmotif]]. If it plays at any point, I will [[{{ScrewThisImOuttaHere}} get the hell out of Dodge]] before they get a ThemeMusicPowerUp.
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# If I have no choice but to have a DuelToTheDeath with the hero, I will, during the fight, listen in for their Leitmotif. If it plays at any point, I will [[{{ScrewThisImOuttaHere}} get the hell out of Dodge]] before they get a ThemeMusicPowerUp.
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# If TimeTravel exists in my universe, I will be damn sure to research it thoroughly, and make sure that I don't dispose off the right people by accident, and keep my machine in pristine condition, lest I want to be TrappedInThePast or GoneToTheFuture with no way back, or even more importantly, getting myself RetGone from existence.
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# If I get a bunch of calls from people asking for "Pizza King" or whatever the local fast food place is, I'll check to see if my number is indeed close to the number of the local place. If it is, change it.
# If the number of my place and the local fast food place are indeed very similar, and it's impractical for me to change my number, see to it that some sort of deal is set up, wherein they change their number, or give my guys a discount for the inconvenience.
# If the number of my place and the local fast food place are indeed very similar, and it's impractical for me to change my number, see to it that some sort of deal is set up, wherein they change their number, or give my guys a discount for the inconvenience.
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# Unless it’s actually raining, snowing, or some other natural weather phenomenon is occurring, my forces will be ordered to immediately fire upon any suspicious individuals wearing hoods, especially if they start trying to do some parkour. Heroes think wearing a hood perfectly disguises them, so they’ll be pretty easy to spot from a mile out if they keep their hoods on. Likewise, Visitors and citizens who suffer from albinism or leucism will instead be provided with free umbrellas to use instead of hoods to protect them from the sun’s UV radiation, that they can pickup at a local information kiosk, one of the many I shall have constructed every few city blocks to keep people appraised of any changes to this policy, and never conveniently forget it. People who choose to wear their hoods up out of some sense of personal fashion will be politely asked to remove the hood, only wear it during appropriate times or at home, and then be immediately executed if they continue to resist.
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# If there is something unique about the location of my evil lair that [[GPSEvidence can make its location be deduced by soil samples, plant matter or other debris that can accumulate on my clothing/equipment by spending time there and then fall off at a crime scene]], I will relocate to a more anonymous location unless there is some specific reason why I need to be operating out of that general area.
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# If there is something unique about the location of my hidden evil lair that [[GPSEvidence can make its location be deduced by soil samples, plant matter or other debris that can accumulate on my clothing/equipment by spending time there and then fall off at a crime scene]], I will relocate to a more anonymous location unless there is some specific reason why I need to be operating out of that general area.
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# Actually, instead of quadruple pay, I’ll stick to a standard Christmas bonus. There’s being festive, and then there’s just throwing money away. Quadruple pay for the holidays can be negotiated for the year one of my minions brings me the head of my greatest enemy, however. Assuming I’m not my own worst enemy, but that’s why I’m reading this list, isn’t it?
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# Actually, instead of quadruple pay, I’ll stick to a standard Christmas bonus. There’s being festive, and then there’s just throwing money away. Quadruple pay for the holidays can be negotiated for the year one of my minions brings me the head of my greatest worst enemy, however. Assuming I’m not my own worst enemy, but that’s why I’m reading this list, isn’t it?
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# Actually, instead of quadruple pay, I’ll stick to a standard Christmas bonus. There’s being festive, and then there’s just throwing money away. Quadruple pay for the holidays can be negotiated for the year one of my minions brings me the head of my greatest enemy, however. Assuming I’m not my own worst enemy, but that’s why I’m reading this list, isn’t it?
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# I will, in fact, use my resources to boost Christmas, and fight against those who wish to ruin or destroy Christmas. Doing this will paint me as ALighterShadeOfBlack, so that TheHero will be convinced to not shoot me down on sight, as well as helping my civilian persona further on.
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# Actually, make it a flat Quadruple Pay during the holidays. Killing the Hero though, that's an Extra Bonus.
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# Instead of the usual, useless plot to cancel, steal, or ruin Christmas (or its closest equivalent on our world), I will offer to pay everyone in my evil organization generous holiday bonus the year the Hero's corpse brought before me. Offer void if the Hero isn't 100% confirmed perma-dead.
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# If any of my minions happens to be shapeshifters or masters of disguise, I will put their abilities to good use by having them spy on the Hero and the Rebellion.
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# If any of my minions happens happen to be shapeshifters or masters of disguise, I will put their abilities to good use by having them spy on the Hero and the Rebellion.
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# If a lavish wedding to the beautiful princess is necessary for political or magical reasons, I will make sure I have plenty of armed guards and a cadre of my best warriors on hand to deal with anyone who dares try to disrupt the ceremony.
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# If a lavish wedding to the beautiful princess is necessary for political or magical reasons, I the security surrounding the wedding will make sure I have plenty be equally lavish: hundreds of armed security guards and a cadre of my best warriors henchpersons on hand to deal with anyone who dares try to disrupt the ceremony.
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# If any of my minions happens to be a shapeshifters or masters of disguise, I will put their abilities to good use by having them spy on the Hero and the Rebellion.
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# If any of my minions happens to be a shapeshifters or masters of disguise, I will put their abilities to good use by having them spy on the Hero and the Rebellion.
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# If any of my minions happens to be a shapeshifters or masters of disguise, I will put their abilities to good use by having them spy on the Hero and the Rebellion.
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# Of course, I will calibrate it so that it won't eject ''me'' into the sky. It will not make a good impression if I have to sit down and then the Mooks see their boss fly off every time.
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# The ornate throne in the great hall of my palace will have a pressure plate hidden under the seat. If anyone is so arrogant as to sit down on it, a hatch will open in the ceiling and they will be launched into the air Team Rocket style.
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# The ornate throne in the great hall of my palace will have a pressure plate hidden under the seat. If anyone is so arrogant as to sit down on it, a hatch will open in the ceiling [[ATwinkleInTheSky and they will be launched into the air Team Rocket style.]]
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# The ornate throne in the great hall of my palace will have a pressure plate hidden under the seat. If anyone is so arrogant as to sit down on it, a hatch will open in the ceiling and they will be launched into the air Team Rocket style.
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# Also, after diving for cover, double check to see if I got an extra hole in my body. Those things can be annoying, especially ones through my head or heart.
# If I do find that extra hole in a lethal spot, make damn sure the Hero isn't going to walk away either. I might be dead, but I'll be damned before someone brags about killing me.
# If I do find that extra hole in a lethal spot, make damn sure the Hero isn't going to walk away either. I might be dead, but I'll be damned before someone brags about killing me.
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# If the Hero (appears to) fire his weapon at me and miss, I will not make a snide remark at his expense...I will dive for cover.
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