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* [[Theatre/BloodBrothers So, did you hear the story of the Johnstone twins? ]]
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* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Isn't it delightful playing easy?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} What about chromosomes? Do they carry? Will they carry?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} What about chromosomes? Do they carry? Will they carry?]]
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** [[Creator/GianniMatragrano Had the]] Toys/{{Bionicle}} [[Creator/GianniMatragrano dream again. Specifically, I was at Disneyland, and they were selling some kind of...green watermelon liquid in giant novelty jugs shaped like Mata feet. Then, we went to the LEGO Store before we went home, and the aisles...oh, the aisles...]]
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** [[WesternAnimation/TheLEGOStarWarsHolidaySpecial Who?! Cares?! About?! A trade dispute?!]]
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** [[Film/RoadHouse1989 Pain don't hurt.]]
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* [[Theatre/DearEvanHansen When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you every really crash or even make a sound?]]
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* [[Theatre/DearEvanHansen When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you every ever really crash or even make a sound?]]
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** [[Creator/GeorgeOrwell I think 'and then you wake up' is the exactly suitable answer to a remark like the one quoted above.]]
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** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Goons.]]
** [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Terezi already made me a map.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} And leave me high and dry in case of a scavenger hunt!?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} And leave me high and dry in case of a scavenger hunt!?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Are you kidding? Scott fell last week. He hasn't shut up about it since!]]
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** What wall?
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** What wall?[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark We've just got a lot of really cool shit back here that we don't feel like sharing!]]
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** [[Music/JazzEmu You can't make me dance, tonight.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Dance with me, Lois! Dance the dance of life!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Dance with me, Lois! Dance the dance of life!]]
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** [[WesternAnimation/ThePatrickStarShow Remember: "There's no forest so dark it can stifle the light of a woman's soul!"]]
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** [[Music/CaravanPalace In my dreams, I rock and I rule the wonderland!]]
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** [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents He should've just taken the bus.]]
** BusesAreForFreaks.
** BusesAreForFreaks.
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** [[VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom2 I wanna take you for a ride!]]
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*** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Chop Shop! CHOP SHOP!]]
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** [[Music/OrigamiAngel Thank you, New Jersey, run my self-esteem into the ground.]]
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** [[Music/TheFourSeasons Walk like a man,]] [[MemeticMutation sing like a girl...]]
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** [[Music/TheFourSeasons [[Music/FrankieValliAndTheFourSeasons Walk like a man,]] [[MemeticMutation sing like a girl...]]
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** [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus This demonstrates the value of not being seen.]]
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** [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus Mr. Bradshaw, will you stand up, please?]]\\
''[Mr. Bradshaw stands up, is shot]''\\
[[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus This demonstrates the value of not being seen.]]
''[Mr. Bradshaw stands up, is shot]''\\
[[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus This demonstrates the value of not being seen.]]
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** [[Music/TheFourSeasons Walk like a man,]] [[MemeticMutation sing like a girl...]]
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* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} What is this? Wash and wear?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Who is man enough to march to March of the Falsettos?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Who is man enough to march to March of the Falsettos?]]
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** [[Videogame/MortalKombat11 Leave, or be terminated.]]
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** [[Videogame/MortalKombat11 [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 Leave, or be terminated.]]
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** [[Videogame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!]]
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** [[Videogame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas [[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!]]
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** [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants No, this is Patrick.]]
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* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Is this therapy?]]
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* [[Theatre/{{Oklahoma}} Where is the leader who will save us\\
And be the first man to be shot?]]
** [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus This demonstrates the value of not being seen.]]
And be the first man to be shot?]]
** [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus This demonstrates the value of not being seen.]]
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** [[WesternAnimation/TheLEGOMovie2TheSecondPart Coffee; the bitter liquid that provides the only semblance of pleasure left in these dark times.]]
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Splitting examples from main page
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* [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} To be, or not to be?]]
** Not to be. Definitely not to be.
** [[Film/LastActionHero *large explosion*]]
** Depends, is it nobler in spirit to suffer the slings and arrows... umm... screw it, not to be!
** True. (2B)∨¬(2B) is a tautology.
** [[TakeAThirdOption All of the above]].
*** ''None'' of the above.
** Yes.
*** No.
** [[Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock "Our revels now are ended, Kirk!]] [[Film/StarTrekVITheUndiscoveredCountry Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!"]]
** [[Series/{{MASH}} Oh, why ask me?]]
** ''[[Literature/ToBeOrNotToBeThatIsTheAdventure Turn to page 16]]'' '''TO BE'''
*** or '''NOT TO BE''': ''turn to page 17''
** To be what?
*** ToBeAMaster.
** [[Videogame/MortalKombat11 Leave, or be terminated.]]
** [[Film/TheProducers You mean a lot to me!]]
* [[Theatre/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberofFleetStreet And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair like her?]]
** [[Recap/DoctorWho2005CSTheChristmasInvasion No, you're just sort of brown.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} What do you read, my Lord?]]
** Words, words, words.
** [[Website/TVTropes This Very Wiki]].
** [[Film/{{Yellowbeard}} The last time I read a book, I was raped -- let that be a lesson to you.]]
** [[NeverLearnedToRead I never]] [[VideoGame/KidIcarusUprising learned]] [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosUltimate how to read!]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 Idiot's Guide to Kicking Your Ass.]]
** [[WebVideo/BerserkAbridged What, are you reading from a book of sexist villain cliches?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/EightCrazyNights Jokes on you, pal: I can't read!]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 Page 5, Cliché Villains Handbook?]]
** [[Videogame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!]]
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?]]
** Why does that matter? Isn't the [[FeudingFamilies real problem]] the "Montague" part?
*** Because my great-uncle was named [[MythologyGag Romeus]], and my father really respected him.
** I hath a vile cretin to slayeth.
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet Why are thou yet so fair?]]
** [[Theatre/TheCompleteWorksOfWilliamShakespeareAbridged I dunno!]]
** [[Film/LastActionHero Who says I'm fair? *BLAM*]]
* [[Theatre/{{Macbeth}} Is this a dagger that I see before me?]]
** No, now give me back my pencil.
** No, I'm just [[OrAreYouJustHappyToSeeMe happy to see you]].
** Well if it was behind you, you wouldn't ''see it'' now, would ya, dumbass?
** [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Um. No, my lord. It's my handkerchief, you see. You can sort of tell the difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges.]]
** It's Mack the Knife.
** [[Series/TheGoodies No! It's Truffaut the Wonderdog!]]
** [[VideoGame/GhostHunter No, it's a Glock 17.]]
*** [[FanFic/MyImmortal Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol.]]
** Yes, and this is [[WebAnimation/{{hololive}} her human form]].
* What light through yonder window breaks?
** [[Film/{{Daredevil}} The "C" train.]]
*** [[Franchise/TheMatrix Hear that Mister Anderson?]] [[WebVideo/CinemaSins That's the sound of inevitability. That's the sound of your death. Goodbye, Mister Anderson.]]
** [[Series/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch Explosion in the chem lab.]]
*** [[VideoGame/Payday2 Dammit, I told you to be careful!]]
** A house fire.
** It is a rock, and Juliet has a concussion.
** [[Franchise/SpyroTheDragon That window up there, dummy.]]
** (3x10[[superscript:8]]/λ)x6.63x10[[superscript:-34]]
* [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic How do you solve a problem like Maria?]]
** With cheese.
** KillItWithFire!
*** No! KillItWithWater!
*** No! KillItWithIce!
*** [[RuleOfThree No! Kill It with... Steam?]]
** [[ReassignedToAntarctica Reassignment to Antarctica!]]
** I know dis guy, see? You pay me, I get him to take care of da problem for you.
** No! It's not Maria that's the problem! [[VideoGame/SonicAdventure2 It's the black hedgehog she's with]] [[VideoGame/ShadowTheHedgehog that's the problem!]]
*** [[DeathByOriginStory Bit late for that now.]]
*** [[AllegedLookalikes You mean Sonic?]]
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI Get Celes to take over her role in the opera.]]
** [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosForNintendo3DSAndWiiU Settle it in Smash!]]
** If you want to know, just ask Maria [[AmbiguousSyntax how she solves a problem]].
** [[Film/JurassicPark SHOOT HER!]]
*** [[Film/AttackOfTheClones ...or something!]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 When in doubt, I kill.]]
** I'm more of a [[Film/LicencetoKill problem eliminator.]]
* How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
** On film.
** [[Music/{{ACDC}} Pick up the phone, leave her alone... it's time you made a stand!]]
** Simple:
-->'''Step 1:''' Condense cloud into water.\\
'''Step 2:''' Freeze water into ice.\\
'''Step 3:''' Insert pin.
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Use]] [[VideoGame/DissidiaFinalFantasy Bind.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic I'm a pegasus pony. I'll see what I can do.]]
** [[WebVideo/SonicAdventureAbridged "We'll catch up to the Egg Carrier in no time." "You fucking passed them!!"]]
** That's impossible. [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome Try to catch a cloud and it will just return to water and wet the floor.]]
* [[Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera My God, who is this man, who hunts to kill?]]
** Well, hunting to mangle is needlessly cruel.
** [[WebVideo/TwistedTranslations Mom... I kill people.]]
** [[WebVideo/FreemansMind I haven't murdered anyone! Well, not today, anyway...]]
** [[Manga/DeathNote Kira]].
*** ''[[VideoGame/MortalKombatX Kano]]''[[VideoGame/MortalKombatX , ya bloody prick!]]
** An EgomaniacHunter.
** [[Characters/MarvelComicsKravenTheHunter Kraven the Hunter]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 Your own design.]]
* Why do they want to whip poor Will again?
** Isn't he the designated whipping boy?
*** [[Music/JohnMellencamp He's had that pleasure for years and years.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack HEY! I'm not poor!]]
** [[Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanDeadMansChest Because he let the cannon drop.]]
** [[Series/StrangerThings He was coughing up slugs]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext that turned into dogs.]]
* [[Theatre/LesMiserables Do you hear the people sing?]]
** Yes. [[DreadfulMusician They have some serious bad tone issues.]]
*** [[Theatre/ForbiddenBroadway Pretty voices singing somewhere else, not here.]]
** [[VideoGame/TomodachiLife You... don't sing very well.]]
** What people?
** [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'll SING! SING! SING! SING!]]
** [[Music/TallyHall Let us sing! Let us sing! Let us sing! Let us sing!]]
* [[Theatre/BellsAreRinging Mary and Ethel who?]]
** [[Series/DowntonAbbey Lady Mary Crawley and Ethel Parks.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/MaryAndMax Mary Daisy Dinkle and Ethel the rooster.]]
** Creator/MaryTylerMoore [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=447t62FTc4Q and Ethel Winant.]]
** [[WhosonFirst Mary Who and Ethel Who. That's who.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?]]
** That depends, who's asking?
** To quote from ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'', act 3, scene 3, line 87, "No!"
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?]]
** [[Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace Because all you of Earth are IDIOTS!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Why do you write like you're running out of time?]]
** Welcome to the phenomena that is ChristmasRushed.
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Why do you always say what you believe?]]
** Just ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve...
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} What are you waiting for? What do you stall for? We won the war, what was it all for?]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 The pride of serving my family and country.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} If I can prove that I never broke the law, do you promise to never tell another soul what you saw?]]
** Only if I can help bury the body.
** '''''[[Film/JudgeDredd I AM...THE LAW!]]'''''
** [[Creator/JimmyDavis Oh, look! You get to go to prison! What luck! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?]]
** [[Franchise/YuGiOh IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!]]
** [[ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} I'm immature?!! Well excuse me, Miss Poopy Head!]]
** [[WebComic/SquareRootOfMinusGarfield I'm immature?!! I'm going to kill you!]]
** [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer I am immature. I'm a teen. I've yet to mature.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/PorkyPigsFeat You have insult me! We meet on the field of onions!]]
** [[Videogame/MortalKombat11 I think you got that backwards.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Can we get back to politics? Please?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb Are times that hard?]]
** Politics sucks.
* [[Theatre/OfTheeISing What shall we do now? What is our cue now?]]
** [[Theatre/TheWintersTale Exit, pursued by a bear.]]
*** [[Anime/DigimonAdventure This isn't funny! I'm being chased by a giant stuffed bear!]]
** [[VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas OBJECTIVE: Talk to the idiot wearing sunglasses.]]
*** OBJECTIVE: Find Gloria Van Graff at the Silver Rush in Freeside and make that bitch eat her hair.
*** [[VideoGame/BendyAndTheInkMachine New Objective:]] '''[[VideoGame/BendyAndTheInkMachine RUN AWAY]]'''
** [[Film/AustinPowersTheSpyWhoShaggedMe When the doors close, just say 'Go'. Better.]]
** [[WebVideo/TwistedTranslations When a bell rings, the pieces need to shoot the angels.]]
** [[Theatre/AnyoneCanWhistle Rub your stomachs. Goo-ood. Goo-ood. Now pat your heads. Hel-lo. Hel-lo.]]
** [[WebVideo/DontHugMeImScared Listen to your heart\\
Listen to the rain\\
Listen to the voices in your brain\\
Come on guys, let's get creative!]]
** [[Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin On one hand, they're paying you a bunch of money. They're paying ME...a bunch of money. While on this hand, they're telling me, "Hey, go out there and give Bagwell a hell of a match. Go out there with an 18-year old German kid. Give him seven good minutes. Let the people see what he can do.]]
** [[Film/SpaceJam Everybody get up, it's time to slam now...]]
* [[Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance Do you mean "orphan" - a person who has lost their parents, or "often" - frequently?]]
** Neither. I mean "offin'", as in [[SelfMadeOrphan how I became an orphan to begin with.]]
*** [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} You're an orphan? Of course! I'm an orphan! God, I wish there was a war then we could prove that we're worth more than anyone bargained for.]]
*** [[Videogame/Injustice2 This is a waste of my time.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Macbeth}} When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?]]
** [[Literature/WyrdSisters Well, I can do next Tuesday.]]
** [[Film/DrStrangelove We'll meet again some sunny day...]]
** [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.]]
** [[Film/KungPowEnterTheFist We will meet many more times... in the sequel!]]
*** [[VideoGame/TheSpongebobMovieGame We must stop and wonder, how long until the sequel? It depends on the box office.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooWhereAreYou Let's all]] meet [[WebVideo/TheMisadventuresOfSkooks back at the malt shop!]]
** [[VideoGame/BanjoTooie Just wait until Banjo-Threeie!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons I have a feeling we'll meet again, each and every week. Always in more sexy and exciting ways.]]
** [[Manga/WanganMidnight Go down the next ramp. I have a feeling we won't meet again.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} Who's there?]]
** [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys IT'S ME.]]
** [[RunningGag No, he's playing baseball.]]
** Is this another KnockKnockJoke?
** Bobby.
*** [[Wrestling/PaulHeyman Bobby who?]]
*** [[Wrestling/BrockLesnar Exactly.]]
** Yes, he is. [[WhosonFirst No third base needed.]]
** [[WebAnimation/{{Arfenhouse}} JO'Z HEER]]
* [[Theatre/DearEvanHansen Does anybody have a map?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/DoraTheExplorer I'm the map, I'm the map...]]
** [[VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends Who needs a map?!]]
** [[Film/KnightsOfBadassdom They suck at making maps!]]
** [[WebAnimation/FinalFantasyVIIMachinabridged Where the hell would I put a map? In all the pockets I don't have?]]
** [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaCDiGames Here is the map. Where do you wish to go?]]
** Where we're going, we don't NEED maps!
* [[Theatre/DearEvanHansen When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you every really crash or even make a sound?]]
* [[Theatre/TheBookOfMormon What will you do, Joseph? Will you fight the clitoris-man?]]
** Can I at least do an EnemyScan first?
** ...I can't find him.
** [[Theatre/JosephAndTheAmazingTechnicolorDreamcoat Please stop, I don't believe in free love!]]
** [[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureBattleTendency I've got a plan... One last all-or-nothing gambit! Yeah, it's my final move... Listen up! This is something you're going to have to do for yourself! ...Hmmmmhmmmmhmmmhmmm....]] '''''[[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureBattleTendency RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVES!]]'''''
* [[Theatre/{{Wicked}} Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?]]
** [[Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG 829. Despite the song's claim]], [[Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow a pelvic thrust does not cause Sanity loss.]]
** [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventurePhantomBlood Is he a victim of circumstance, you're wondering? Not on your life! He's been evil since he drew his first breath!]]
* [[Theatre/SouthPacific Ditez-moi pourquoi la vie est gai?]]
** [[NoYou No, YOU'RE gay!]]
** [[GratuitousFrench Pardonnez-moi, je ne parle pas très bien français.]]
** [[Series/{{Scrubs}} Yes! I am the king of gay chicken!]]
** [[WebAnimation/RedVsBlue Yes, that's right. I'm a gay robot.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuyPresentsLaughItUpFuzzball A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...]]
** [[Manga/AzumangaDaioh The correct term is lesbain! UH, NOT THAT I'M A LESBAIN!!]]
** [[WebVideo/MetalGearSolidTheAbridgedSnakes We're here, we're queer... I mean, all for one and one fo- forget it.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons No one's gay for Moleman...]]
** [[Film/MeanGirls He's almost too gay to function.]]
** [[WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged Maybe I'm gay, or maybe stereotypes are bullshit.]]
** [[Series/{{DegrassiTheNextGeneration}} I'm gay. I'm totally, totally gay.]]
** [[WebComic/{{Sonichu}} I'm straight! I'm straight! You're the homos! Every last one of you!]]
** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub Silver, you know what? You're a twink. I'm gonna go smoke some weed now.]]
** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub I was gay before the light!]]
** [[WebVideo/DeathNoteAbridgedStackedSugarCubes I told you, I'm not gay!]]
** [[WebComic/TheNonAdventuresOfWonderella I ain't gay, but I'll lay back.]]
** [[WebVideo/DeathNoteAbridgedDogface701 I'm not gay, but that Light Yagami is one fine piece of ass.]]
** [[WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeriesTeamDattebayo My boyfriend is GAY!]]
** [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Possibly homosexual. Must investigate further.]]
** [[Music/{{DESCENDENTS}} Go away, you fucking gay!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks Nigga, you gay!]]
** [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries What, just because a guy likes to dress effeminately, and hang around with another extremely attractive man, and read yaoi, and flaunt his gorgeous abs, and stroke a phallic symbol suggestively in every other scene, that automatically makes him gay?]]
** [[WebVideo/MarikPlaysBloodlines Ok, ok! I admit it! I'm gay, I'm gay! I like men, and I like men's bottoms, and I have a whole folder on my computer filled with Thiefshipping pictures!]]
** [[Film/AlmostFamous Fuck it! I'm gay!]]
** [[WebComic/FinalFantasyVIITheSevening Last night I was worried that I might be gay, but you are possibly the hottest girl I have ever laid my eyes on.]]
** [[WebVideo/GameGrumps Yeah. I like to fuck a girl with another guy in the same hole. Does that make me gay? And what if that girl is a guy?]]
** [[Creator/Dathings1 Is he gay, or is he peeing?]]
** [[Creator/Dathings1 A little gay is fun when you're Russian!]]
** [[Creator/JimmyDavis Hey, hey, how's the gay? I said, hey, hey, how's the gay?]]
** [[AudioPlay/DirtyPotter When I was your age, I took penis in the poophole for almost two days. I said "Fuck you, kind parents, for giving me buttsex to make me gay."]]
** [[WebVideo/{{Boogidyboo}} You're GAY?! FUCK you!]]
** [[WebVideo/{{avojaifnot}} You're all faggots! FAGGOTS, I SAY!]]
*** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Faggot: A bundle of sticks for fuel. [Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks] ]]
*** [[Music/GreenDay Well maybe I'm the faggot America!\\
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda!]]
** [[WebVideo/Chris10237 This place is gayer than I expected!]]
** [[Creator/DaThings1 Mother said not to be straight! I should've heeded her advice!]]
** [[WebAnimation/DiamondIsUnbreakableRetold The guys and I hate him. He's a single tool. He's just kind of gay. He sucks the cock out of the party.]]
** [[VideoGame/BookOfMarioKingOfMiami I can't go on, the Homosexuals are going to kill us.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones We'll have a gay old time!]]
*** WIIIIILLLLMAAAAAAA!!!
** '''''[[Videogame/INJUSTICE2 ENOUGH WITH THESE WORDS!]]'''''
** Sorry, I don't understand what you mean.
** [[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1990 You want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy before.]]
** In English: "Do tell, why is life that beautiful?"
*** Beautiful? [[Series/DempseyandMakepeace Life's tough, life's a bitch, and then you die.]]
** [[Film/CaptainBlood Don't fling your French at me!]]
** [[WebVideo/GameTheory But that's just a theory.]] [[MemeticMutation A GAY theory!]]
* Theatre/WhyMarry
** [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS16E10TheresSomethingAboutMarrying There's Something About Marrying]].
** [[Film/StepBrothers Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Candide}} Objection! What about snakes?]]
** [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Asps... very dangerous. You go first.]]
** [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil1 It's not just a poisonous snake]]... [[Narm/ResidentEvil it's a MONSTAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!]]
** [[VideoGame/KingsQuestVAbsenceMakesTheHeartGoYonder Graham, watch out! A]] [[AcCENTUponTheWrongSylLABle POI]][[VideoGame/KingsQuestVAbsenceMakesTheHeartGoYonder sonous snake!]]
** [[Music/TheLonelyIsland You're still a cunt, Steve! Go fuck your snake!]]
** [[VideoGame/ShadowWarrior1997 Ugly, scary, snake... shitface!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse Snake people, or 'Sneople', control our government at the highest levels!]]
* [[Theatre/TheProducers Who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town?]]
** [[ExtremeOmnisexual Anything.]]
*** With the [[SleepsWithEveryoneButYou exception]] of [[Anime/PantyAndStockingWithGarterbelt Brief]].
** [[PizzaBoySpecialDelivery The pizza boy.]]
** [[RoboSexual A robot.]]
*** [[WebAnimation/MinilifeTV Say, how would you like to go back to my place and do some deeds that won't be caught by this camera crew?]]
** [[ScrewYourself Yourself.]]
*** [[WebVideo/TheNoveltyDesire I do not fuck me.]]
*** [[WebComic/FinalFantasyVIITheSevening Get off me, you handsome devil!]]
*** [[WebVideo/{{avojaifnot}} And so we fucked ourselves.]]
** [[SexFaceTurn The]] [[DatingCatwoman villain.]]
*** [[Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG 1775. Just because I spared the villain's life doesn't mean she owes me a first date.]]
** [[SextraCredit The teacher.]]
** [[SingleMomStripper A single mom.]]
*** [[Film/ForrestGump Your mama sure does care about your schooling, son!]]
*** [[Film/SuperheroMovie I love you like your father did. I believe in you like your father did. I even had sex with your mother just like your father did!]]
** [[SleepingWithTheBoss The boss]] and/or [[SleepingWithTheBosssWife his wife.]]
** [[InLoveWithTheGangstersGirl The gangster's girl.]]
** [[StupidSexyFriend Your]] {{friend|sWithBenefits}}.
** [[ComfortingTheWidow The widow.]]
** [[KissingCousins Your cousin.]]
*** [[Film/TheWolfOfWallStreet If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.]]
** [[IntimatePsychotherapy Your patient.]]
** [[Music/SiIvaGunner A chicken and a goat.]]
*** [[Series/TheDailyShow ...W-well, I mean, to be fair to Larry... is chicken-sex ever really consensual?]]
** [[Film/{{Showgirls}} I didn't fuck anybody...]]
*** [[Film/TrueLies I think maybe she's telling the truth.]]
*** [[WebVideo/CinemaSins Um... our Easter Bunny disagrees.]]
** [[Series/TheWalkingDead The wrong people]].
** [[WebAnimation/{{Walrusguy}} You must f]][[CensoredForComedy ***]] [[WesternAnimation/{{Ratatoing}} Marcel]] [[YouTubePoop Toing.]]
** [[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Rule of Acquisition #112: Never have sex with the boss' sister.]]
** [[Franchise/StarTrekExpandedUniverse Rule of Acquisition #113: Always have sex with the boss.]]
** [[{{Cuckold}} A wife]].
*** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub Now if you'll excuse me, I have more ladies to go to bed with. Isn't that right, Doctor Ivo Robotnik?]]
*** [[ComicBook/TheKingpin The Kingpin has rules -- rules which you would do well to memorize. Among these rules is one stipulating that we do not touch another man's wife for any reason -- ever.]]
** A [[SilverFox grandma]].
*** [[WesternAnimation/Ben10AlienForce I don't know if I can pound your grandma!]]
*** [[Radio/TrueCapitalist Fucking making my granny like she would bang an African YOU FUCK! MY GRANNY'S NOT STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK, YOU FUCKIN' TROLLS!]]
** [[Music/TheLonelyIsland A giant fish.]]
** [[Music/TheLonelyIsland Go fuck your snake!]]
*** [[WebVideo/GameGrumps I don't fuck snakes! That's disgusting!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/PerfectHairForever I HAVE SEX WITH DOGS, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?]]
*** [[Creator/MoBrosStudios What did you do that for?]]
** [[HotAsHell The devil.]]
*** [[Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit Satan has penetrated you over 13,000 times, you whore... GOD DEMANDS YOUR REPENTANCE!]]
*** [[Music/{{SSQ}} I once slept with the devil, it was really no big thrill.]]
** [[WebVideo/TheMisadventuresOfSkooks Go to the church and ask God to fug you!]]
** [[WebAnimation/PonyDotMov A snail]].
** [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Don't know how to "fuck" something.]]
** [[Memes/AttackOnTitan Bees and the eagles.]]
*** [[Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews It's hip to]] [[Series/PennAndTellerBullshit fuck]] [[WebVideo/GamesRepainted bees!]]
** [[ComicBook/SecretSix A butterfly.]]
** [[ComicBook/TheSuperiorFoesOfSpiderMan A bull.]]
** [[BrotherSisterIncest Your sister.]]
*** [[Literature/{{Haganai}} Big brother I want you to give me your big juicy thick c**k and drench me with your hot sticky c** until I'm gasping for air!]]
*** [[Film/DirtyWork "Oh yeah, and remember in the twelfth grade, you had sex with her? Ha--"\\
\\
...\\
\\
"Okay, enough reminiscing."]]
*** [[ComicBook/{{Preacher}} Son of God or son of man, Marseille; you can't fuck your sister and expect much good to come of it.]]
*** [[Series/{{Rome}} You fucked your sister! You little pervert!]]
** [[{{Twincest}} Your twin.]]
** [[ParentalIncest Your father.]]
*** [[Theatre/TheCompleteWorksOfWilliamShakespeareAbridged Eeeeww!]]
** [[ParentalIncest Your mother.]]
*** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub Well, if you're my dad, it makes the last dub horrifying. God.]]
*** [[Creator/MoBrosStudios Fried chicken tramp! You want to be your mother's lover? In earnest?]]
** [[ILoveTheDead The dead.]]
*** [[VideoGame/WarcraftIII I love dead people. Frequently.]]
*** [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater That... may be the worst thing you have ever said.]]
*** [[WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged C'mon now, mate. Gotta have standards! I know we're shootin' and rapin', but necrophilia's a step too far.]]
** [[PedoHunt Children]].
*** [[Film/ThisIsSpinalTap You're sweet, but you're just four feet.\\
And you still got your baby teeth.\\
You're too young, and I'm too well hung.\\
Tonight, I'm gonna rock you!]]
** [[WebVideo/{{Vinesauce}} I'd fuck Bayonetta!]]
** [[Film/Robocop2 Go fuck a refrigerator, pecker-neck!]]
** [[ReallyGetsAround Anyone and everyone I see.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Oliver}} Where is love?]]
** [[UsefulNotes/CanadianProvincesAndTerritories In Saskatchewan.]]
** [[Memes/{{Music}} Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt-]] wait...
** Love is for pussies.
** [[Anime/FreshPrettyCure In Yotsuba]].
* [[Theatre/{{Oliver}} Who will buy my sweet red roses?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast Not the Prince. Begone, you hideous old hag!]]
*** [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Who are you calling old?!]]
** [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} There's fennel for you, and columbines. There's rue for you, and here's some for me. We may call it herb of grace o' Sundays. O, you must wear your rue with a difference! There's a daisy. I would give you some violets, but they wither'd all when my father died.]]
** [[Film/AKnightsTale A flower is good for nothing. You can't eat a flower, a flower can't keep you warm...]]
* [[Theatre/{{Rent}} How do you measure, measure a year?]]
** With a calendar.
** [[ButformeitwasTuesday How do you measure, measure your breath?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Wicked}} What is this feeling, fervid as a flame? Does it have a name?]]
** WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove
** [[Film/TheProducers It's called an erection. Well, it's either that or malaria. Don't worry, they've got pills for everything these days.]]
* [[Theatre/TheLastFiveYears Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 I've got soul to spare, but none for you.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hadestown}} Why do we build the wall?]]
** [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump To keep the Mexicans out.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/ColorClassics There's gold in the Sun, I saw it there. Precious gold that is so rare. So get busy everyone, build my wall to reach the Sun!]]
** What wall?
* [[Theatre/CityOfAngels Funny?\\
How'd I fail to see this little bedtime tale was funny?]]
** [[VideoGame/Mother3 The Frightbot told a story so scary you couldn't help but laugh.]]
** [[Creator/CharlesDickens The absurdity of the situation put its pathos to the rout.]]
** [[Blog/ToplessRobot Spider-Man gave Mary Jane cancer by tragically shooting her up repeatedly with his horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. His horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. That's not tragic. That shit is fucking hilarious.]]
** [[Creator/CleolindaJones There was a Line of Bathos, and you crossed it. I know it's a metaphorical fish, but sweetie, that fish ain't comin' back.]]
** [[WebVideo/BennettTheSage A baby just watched his mother die right before his eyes. Why is this so hilarious to me? Oh wait, no, I know why. It's because she died by getting bonked on the head by an empty shell casing!]]
** [[WebVideo/{{Phelous}} Primal kinda died too by becoming a hilarious pancake on the floor, which seems more like a gag for Waspinator in Beast Wars than a supposed-to-be dramatic death for your main hero.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheJimmyTimmyPowerHour I should not be laughing! This is a terrible situation! And yet... I find myself unable to resist... your influence!]]
** [[AudioPlay/DirtyPotter The awful thing was that you probably thought this was funny. But it isn't. At all. Ever.]]
** [[Film/Joker2019 I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it's a fucking comedy.]]
*** [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents Everyone knows comedy is the lowest form of entertainment, next to animation.]]
** [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater See, I was confused by the total lack of comedy.]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 "Funny" ain't the word for it.]]
** [[VideoGame/Injustice2 I'll show you funny!]]
* [[Theatre/DeathOfASalesman When the hell did I lose my temper?]]
** When someone brought up UsefulNotes/NiagaraFalls.
*** [[{{BerserkButton/Film}} NIAGARA FALLS?! Sloooooooooowly I turned...]]
*** Step by step... Inch by inch...
** When someone pressed your BerserkButton.
** The moment you join the [[Characters/GLRedLanternCorps Red Lantern Corps]].
* [[Theatre/JosephAndTheAmazingTechnicolorDreamcoat Poor, poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack HEY! I'm not poor!]]
** My name is not Joseph.
** [[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureBattleTendency Well, if I'm gonna be sitting around for 30 minutes, I've got nothing better to do. Best place to wait is right in front of Lisa Lisa's door.]] [[ThePeepingTom And if my eye just happens to wander near the keyhole... Niiiiiice.]]
* [[Theatre/TheRiseAndFallOfTheCityOfMahagonny Where is the telephone? Is here no telephone?]]
** No, not since the BrattyHalfPint broke it.
*** [[VideoGame/BlazBlueCrossTagBattle I am not a brat! Take it back! Take it back!]]
*** Your language says otherwise.
** [[Music/SiIvaGunner I ate those phone.]]
** Where we're going, WE DON'T NEED A TELEPHONE!
* [[Theatre/BatmanTheMusical What did Batman do in Katmandu?]]
** [[Series/Batman1966 The Batusi]].
** [[DatingCatwoman Catwoman]].
** Subduing the corrupt tribesmen.
* [[Theatre/{{Beetlejuice}} When you're dead, who gives a shit?]]
** [[NoDeadBodyPoops You do. Literally.]]
** [[VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft I'm dead... and I'm pissed.]]
** [[Film/BrideOfChucky Yeah... but dying is such a bitch!]]
** [[VideoGame/WanganMidnight I don't love people and they don't love me. And if I died, nobody would mourn me.]]
** [[VideoGame/Injustice2 Been dead, done that!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Cats}} What's a Jellicle cat?]]
** CAT KITTY CAT CAT KITTY CAT CAT
** "Jeliccle"? What is that?
* [[Theatre/TheTamingOfTheShrew What's this? Mutton?]]
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV The grade 3 stew actually contains ingredients with names other than "dunno" or "not sure, but it was definitely dead when I threw it in."]]
** [[ImaHumanitarian Human meat.]]
* [[Theatre/OnAClearDayYouCanSeeForever Talk to flowers right here?]]
** It's good to TalkToEveryone, so why not?
** [[WesternAnimation/AliceInWonderland All the flowers\\
Would have very extra special powers\\
They would sit and talk to me for hours\\
When I'm lonely in a world of my own.]]
** [[VideoGame/DontStarve HEY THERE, FLOWERS. WANNA... KILL ALL HUMANS?]]
** This coming from [[ComicBook/AquaMan a man who talks to fish]] every second?
*** [[VideoGame/Injustice2 I command them!]]
* [[Theatre/TheKingAndI Shall we dance?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce Dancing is forbidden!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/VeggieTales I can't dance.]]
** [[Series/{{Angel}} You remember when I said they didn't have music in my world? Wish I could say the same about the dancing.]]
** [[Film/HighSchoolMusical2 I don't dance.]]
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIIRemake Let's dance, asshole!]]
* [[Theatre/AnyoneCanWhistle Then I'm sure there was a saying you learned that you have used ever since to govern your life. A motto, a watchcry?]]
** [[Music/{{Batman}} GET THE FUNK UP!]]
** [[Music/WeirdAlYankovic Dare to be Stupid!]]
** [[Franchise/TheLionKing Hakuna Matata!]]
** [[Literature/IForcedABotToWriteThisBook Live Laugh Love. Or Else.]]
** None of the above.
* [[Theatre/MuchAdoAboutNothing Hath no man's dagger here a point for me?]]
** What dagger?
** [[WebVideo/CriticalRole Dagger, dagger, dagger.]]
** [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater I can't resist the knife. So sleek, so sharp. So silent. I wonder, will I do it slow or fast? On the one hand, I'd]] '''[[Webcomic/EightBitTheater love]]''' [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater for you to feel every inch of metal slowly pierce your skin and then rip your belly asunder. Just the]] '''[[Webcomic/EightBitTheater thought]]''' [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater puts a smile on my face.]] [[TheFaceless Not that you can see it.]] [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater But on the other hand, there's nothing quite so satisfying as slitting a man's throat. There's such a sinister beauty in the efficiency of it. The pain would wake you up just in time to die.]]
** [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.]]
* [[Theatre/KeatingTheMusical A GST, well this is what you call salvation,\\
To whack taxation over the nation?\\
This is the bright new plan that you bring?\\
Fifteen percent on everything?]]
** Yes, including [[VideoGame/AceCombat7SkiesUnknown the death of a million people to save ten million!]]
* [[Theatre/KeatingTheMusical If people hate me, and you're so great, why you wanna make me wait?]]
** [[VideoGame/Tekken5 To let you savor your death.]]
* [[Theatre/TheMerchantOfVenice If you prick us, do we not bleed?]]
** [[Literature/{{Neverwhere}} Mr. Vandemar pondered this for a moment, in the dark. Then he said, perfectly accurately, "No."]]
** [[Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnofJustice You will!]]
** [[Film/{{Dodgeball}} Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.]] ''[[Film/{{Dodgeball}} Nobody!]]''
** [[WesternAnimation/TheRoadtoElDorado Do you know why the gods demand blood? Because gods don't bleed.]]
* ''Theatre/WhosAfraidOfVirginiaWoolf''
** You are, stupid.
** [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 I fear no man. But that thing... it scares me.]]
** [[Videogame/Injustice2 Fear isn't in my genes.]]
** [[ComicBook/SpiderMan Spider]]-[[Radio/CabinPressure Man]].
* [[Theatre/CriticsChoice Let's talk about geography. Tell me, Parker, how do you]] ''[[Theatre/CriticsChoice know]]'' [[Theatre/CriticsChoice the world is flat?]]
** [[Creator/ShelSilverstein I've been down to the edge of the world,\\
Sat on the edge where the wild wind whirled,\\
Peeked over the ledge where the blue smoke curls,\\
And I can tell you, boys and girls,\\
The world is FLAT!]]
** I've been deceived by flat-earth [[KnowNothingKnowItAll know-it-alls]] who believe in the one absolute truth the world is flat, even if I tried to convince them otherwise by saying the world is round like a ball.
** I don't. Had the world been flat, there would be no day, no night, no seasons, no time, no terrain, no depth, no height, no mountains, no hills, no elevation, the list goes on.
* [[Theatre/HowILearnedToDrive Who did it to you, Uncle Peck? How old were you? Were you eleven?]]
** [[Theatre/PacificOvertures I was younger then... I was only ten.]]
** [[WoundedGazelleGambit No one. I pretended to be wounded so I can personally kill you when you're gullible.]]
** ''[[Film/Ghostbusters1984 I HATE YOU, VENKMAN!]]''
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet I dreamt a dream tonight.\\
And so did I.\\
Well, what was yours?]]
** [[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice It starts out where I'm in an all-nude production of]] ''Theatre/DeathOfASalesman [[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice On Ice]]'', [[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice but I haven't studied and can't remember my lines. Suddenly, it begins to rain marshmallows, but that's OK because the trees are made of graham crackers and chocolate bars are the official currency. I believe that by working together, we can make that dream a reality.]]
** [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration It is kind of difficult to explain. Counselor Troi's body... was a cake.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} I had the weirdest dream that I was in]] ''Film/TheBourneIdentity!'' [[WesternAnimation/ToyStory3 Lotso, you were there, and you were there too, Ken.]] [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} And]] Creator/MattDamon, [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} you were there,]] [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} and]] Creator/JuliaStiles, [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} you were there... but you weren't really in anything after that. I don't know why, 'cause you were great in]] ''Film/TenThingsIHateAboutYou...''
** [[Film/RiskyBusiness The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are]] ''[[Film/RiskyBusiness you]]'' [[Film/RiskyBusiness doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.]]
** [[Film/ANightmareOnElmStreet3DreamWarriors In my dreams I'm beautiful. And bad!]]
** [[Literature/SmallGods I always dream of a giant carrot chasing me through a field of lobsters.]]
** [[Comicbook/TheSandman1989 These things with faces like appendectomy scars were crocheting my intestines into body bags for the blind and dead. I told myself it was only a dream, but it didn't matter. They just kept on bloody knitting.]]
** [[Film/TheDevilsCarnival In all my dreams I drown.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Machinal}} Suppose the machine shouldn't work?]]
** [[Theatre/TheTimeOfYourLife Give it a whack on its side.]]
** HaveYouTriedRebooting
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet What shall I swear by?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Ninjago}} You should never swear. It's a sign of weak verbal skills.]]
** '''''[[Film/BatmanBegins Swear to me!]]'''''
** '''''[[Film/SpiderMan3 EVERYTHING!]]'''''
* [[Theatre/TheUnsinkableMollyBrown Are you sure that you haven't been answered? Now think, children, think!]]
** [[Magic8Ball Reply hazy. Ask again later.]]
** [[Film/AFewGoodMen I want the]] ''[[Film/AFewGoodMen truth!]]''
* [[Theatre/TheThreepennyOpera What keeps a man alive?]]
** [[Film/BenHur1959 Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Macbeth}} What bloody man is that?]]
** [[Literature/HarryPotter The Bloody Baron]]
** [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer William the Bloody]]
** ''Theatre/BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson''
** [[Film/ArmyOfDarkness Name's Ash. Housewares.]]
* [[Theatre/AllMySons What is this, Labor Day?]]
** [[Music/ThePeoplesChoiceMusic Hey everybody, it's Labor Day!]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Should I take the bus or walk instead?]]
** [[Theatre/{{Allegro}} Oh, hell, I'll walk!]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Do you wanna ride, wanna go far?]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill What did we say about masturbation?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsonsMovie More than two shakes and it's playing with yourself?]]
** [[Music/{{Divinyls}} When I think about you I touch myself.]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Did you kill Eminem?!]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Could you get out of my head for like, five minutes?]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Should I take the upgrade?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Robots}} Sorry, pal, it's either upgrade or the Chop Shop for you.]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill You think I wanted to teach high school drama? In New Jersey?!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Heathers}} How'd you find my address?!]]
* [[Theatre/HanselAndGretel1893 Nibble, nibble, mousekin,\\
Who's nibbling at my housekin?]]
** [[Series/SesameStreet Me Cookie Monster!]] Me love to eat GingerbreadHouse!
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet What, art thou hurt?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants No! I'm just doubled over in pain BECAUSE ITS A NEW DANCE CRAZE!]]
** '''''[[VideoGame/EarthBound1994 NESS... IT HURTS... IT HURTS...]]'''''
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} Ow! ...That didn't hurt.]]
** [[Creator/TheCapitolSteps My megahertz so bad, even my gigahertz a tad.]]
* [[Theatre/OurAmericanCousin Don't know the manners of good society, eh?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Hepatitis hepatitis?]]
----
** Not to be. Definitely not to be.
** [[Film/LastActionHero *large explosion*]]
** Depends, is it nobler in spirit to suffer the slings and arrows... umm... screw it, not to be!
** True. (2B)∨¬(2B) is a tautology.
** [[TakeAThirdOption All of the above]].
*** ''None'' of the above.
** Yes.
*** No.
** [[Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock "Our revels now are ended, Kirk!]] [[Film/StarTrekVITheUndiscoveredCountry Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!"]]
** [[Series/{{MASH}} Oh, why ask me?]]
** ''[[Literature/ToBeOrNotToBeThatIsTheAdventure Turn to page 16]]'' '''TO BE'''
*** or '''NOT TO BE''': ''turn to page 17''
** To be what?
*** ToBeAMaster.
** [[Videogame/MortalKombat11 Leave, or be terminated.]]
** [[Film/TheProducers You mean a lot to me!]]
* [[Theatre/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberofFleetStreet And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair like her?]]
** [[Recap/DoctorWho2005CSTheChristmasInvasion No, you're just sort of brown.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} What do you read, my Lord?]]
** Words, words, words.
** [[Website/TVTropes This Very Wiki]].
** [[Film/{{Yellowbeard}} The last time I read a book, I was raped -- let that be a lesson to you.]]
** [[NeverLearnedToRead I never]] [[VideoGame/KidIcarusUprising learned]] [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosUltimate how to read!]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 Idiot's Guide to Kicking Your Ass.]]
** [[WebVideo/BerserkAbridged What, are you reading from a book of sexist villain cliches?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/EightCrazyNights Jokes on you, pal: I can't read!]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 Page 5, Cliché Villains Handbook?]]
** [[Videogame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!]]
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?]]
** Why does that matter? Isn't the [[FeudingFamilies real problem]] the "Montague" part?
*** Because my great-uncle was named [[MythologyGag Romeus]], and my father really respected him.
** I hath a vile cretin to slayeth.
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet Why are thou yet so fair?]]
** [[Theatre/TheCompleteWorksOfWilliamShakespeareAbridged I dunno!]]
** [[Film/LastActionHero Who says I'm fair? *BLAM*]]
* [[Theatre/{{Macbeth}} Is this a dagger that I see before me?]]
** No, now give me back my pencil.
** No, I'm just [[OrAreYouJustHappyToSeeMe happy to see you]].
** Well if it was behind you, you wouldn't ''see it'' now, would ya, dumbass?
** [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Um. No, my lord. It's my handkerchief, you see. You can sort of tell the difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges.]]
** It's Mack the Knife.
** [[Series/TheGoodies No! It's Truffaut the Wonderdog!]]
** [[VideoGame/GhostHunter No, it's a Glock 17.]]
*** [[FanFic/MyImmortal Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol.]]
** Yes, and this is [[WebAnimation/{{hololive}} her human form]].
* What light through yonder window breaks?
** [[Film/{{Daredevil}} The "C" train.]]
*** [[Franchise/TheMatrix Hear that Mister Anderson?]] [[WebVideo/CinemaSins That's the sound of inevitability. That's the sound of your death. Goodbye, Mister Anderson.]]
** [[Series/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch Explosion in the chem lab.]]
*** [[VideoGame/Payday2 Dammit, I told you to be careful!]]
** A house fire.
** It is a rock, and Juliet has a concussion.
** [[Franchise/SpyroTheDragon That window up there, dummy.]]
** (3x10[[superscript:8]]/λ)x6.63x10[[superscript:-34]]
* [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic How do you solve a problem like Maria?]]
** With cheese.
** KillItWithFire!
*** No! KillItWithWater!
*** No! KillItWithIce!
*** [[RuleOfThree No! Kill It with... Steam?]]
** [[ReassignedToAntarctica Reassignment to Antarctica!]]
** I know dis guy, see? You pay me, I get him to take care of da problem for you.
** No! It's not Maria that's the problem! [[VideoGame/SonicAdventure2 It's the black hedgehog she's with]] [[VideoGame/ShadowTheHedgehog that's the problem!]]
*** [[DeathByOriginStory Bit late for that now.]]
*** [[AllegedLookalikes You mean Sonic?]]
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI Get Celes to take over her role in the opera.]]
** [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosForNintendo3DSAndWiiU Settle it in Smash!]]
** If you want to know, just ask Maria [[AmbiguousSyntax how she solves a problem]].
** [[Film/JurassicPark SHOOT HER!]]
*** [[Film/AttackOfTheClones ...or something!]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 When in doubt, I kill.]]
** I'm more of a [[Film/LicencetoKill problem eliminator.]]
* How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
** On film.
** [[Music/{{ACDC}} Pick up the phone, leave her alone... it's time you made a stand!]]
** Simple:
-->'''Step 1:''' Condense cloud into water.\\
'''Step 2:''' Freeze water into ice.\\
'''Step 3:''' Insert pin.
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Use]] [[VideoGame/DissidiaFinalFantasy Bind.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic I'm a pegasus pony. I'll see what I can do.]]
** [[WebVideo/SonicAdventureAbridged "We'll catch up to the Egg Carrier in no time." "You fucking passed them!!"]]
** That's impossible. [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome Try to catch a cloud and it will just return to water and wet the floor.]]
* [[Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera My God, who is this man, who hunts to kill?]]
** Well, hunting to mangle is needlessly cruel.
** [[WebVideo/TwistedTranslations Mom... I kill people.]]
** [[WebVideo/FreemansMind I haven't murdered anyone! Well, not today, anyway...]]
** [[Manga/DeathNote Kira]].
*** ''[[VideoGame/MortalKombatX Kano]]''[[VideoGame/MortalKombatX , ya bloody prick!]]
** An EgomaniacHunter.
** [[Characters/MarvelComicsKravenTheHunter Kraven the Hunter]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 Your own design.]]
* Why do they want to whip poor Will again?
** Isn't he the designated whipping boy?
*** [[Music/JohnMellencamp He's had that pleasure for years and years.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack HEY! I'm not poor!]]
** [[Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanDeadMansChest Because he let the cannon drop.]]
** [[Series/StrangerThings He was coughing up slugs]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext that turned into dogs.]]
* [[Theatre/LesMiserables Do you hear the people sing?]]
** Yes. [[DreadfulMusician They have some serious bad tone issues.]]
*** [[Theatre/ForbiddenBroadway Pretty voices singing somewhere else, not here.]]
** [[VideoGame/TomodachiLife You... don't sing very well.]]
** What people?
** [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'll SING! SING! SING! SING!]]
** [[Music/TallyHall Let us sing! Let us sing! Let us sing! Let us sing!]]
* [[Theatre/BellsAreRinging Mary and Ethel who?]]
** [[Series/DowntonAbbey Lady Mary Crawley and Ethel Parks.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/MaryAndMax Mary Daisy Dinkle and Ethel the rooster.]]
** Creator/MaryTylerMoore [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=447t62FTc4Q and Ethel Winant.]]
** [[WhosonFirst Mary Who and Ethel Who. That's who.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?]]
** That depends, who's asking?
** To quote from ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'', act 3, scene 3, line 87, "No!"
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?]]
** [[Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace Because all you of Earth are IDIOTS!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Why do you write like you're running out of time?]]
** Welcome to the phenomena that is ChristmasRushed.
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Why do you always say what you believe?]]
** Just ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve...
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} What are you waiting for? What do you stall for? We won the war, what was it all for?]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 The pride of serving my family and country.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} If I can prove that I never broke the law, do you promise to never tell another soul what you saw?]]
** Only if I can help bury the body.
** '''''[[Film/JudgeDredd I AM...THE LAW!]]'''''
** [[Creator/JimmyDavis Oh, look! You get to go to prison! What luck! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?]]
** [[Franchise/YuGiOh IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!]]
** [[ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} I'm immature?!! Well excuse me, Miss Poopy Head!]]
** [[WebComic/SquareRootOfMinusGarfield I'm immature?!! I'm going to kill you!]]
** [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer I am immature. I'm a teen. I've yet to mature.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/PorkyPigsFeat You have insult me! We meet on the field of onions!]]
** [[Videogame/MortalKombat11 I think you got that backwards.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} Can we get back to politics? Please?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb Are times that hard?]]
** Politics sucks.
* [[Theatre/OfTheeISing What shall we do now? What is our cue now?]]
** [[Theatre/TheWintersTale Exit, pursued by a bear.]]
*** [[Anime/DigimonAdventure This isn't funny! I'm being chased by a giant stuffed bear!]]
** [[VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas OBJECTIVE: Talk to the idiot wearing sunglasses.]]
*** OBJECTIVE: Find Gloria Van Graff at the Silver Rush in Freeside and make that bitch eat her hair.
*** [[VideoGame/BendyAndTheInkMachine New Objective:]] '''[[VideoGame/BendyAndTheInkMachine RUN AWAY]]'''
** [[Film/AustinPowersTheSpyWhoShaggedMe When the doors close, just say 'Go'. Better.]]
** [[WebVideo/TwistedTranslations When a bell rings, the pieces need to shoot the angels.]]
** [[Theatre/AnyoneCanWhistle Rub your stomachs. Goo-ood. Goo-ood. Now pat your heads. Hel-lo. Hel-lo.]]
** [[WebVideo/DontHugMeImScared Listen to your heart\\
Listen to the rain\\
Listen to the voices in your brain\\
Come on guys, let's get creative!]]
** [[Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin On one hand, they're paying you a bunch of money. They're paying ME...a bunch of money. While on this hand, they're telling me, "Hey, go out there and give Bagwell a hell of a match. Go out there with an 18-year old German kid. Give him seven good minutes. Let the people see what he can do.]]
** [[Film/SpaceJam Everybody get up, it's time to slam now...]]
* [[Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance Do you mean "orphan" - a person who has lost their parents, or "often" - frequently?]]
** Neither. I mean "offin'", as in [[SelfMadeOrphan how I became an orphan to begin with.]]
*** [[Theatre/{{Hamilton}} You're an orphan? Of course! I'm an orphan! God, I wish there was a war then we could prove that we're worth more than anyone bargained for.]]
*** [[Videogame/Injustice2 This is a waste of my time.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Macbeth}} When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?]]
** [[Literature/WyrdSisters Well, I can do next Tuesday.]]
** [[Film/DrStrangelove We'll meet again some sunny day...]]
** [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.]]
** [[Film/KungPowEnterTheFist We will meet many more times... in the sequel!]]
*** [[VideoGame/TheSpongebobMovieGame We must stop and wonder, how long until the sequel? It depends on the box office.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooWhereAreYou Let's all]] meet [[WebVideo/TheMisadventuresOfSkooks back at the malt shop!]]
** [[VideoGame/BanjoTooie Just wait until Banjo-Threeie!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons I have a feeling we'll meet again, each and every week. Always in more sexy and exciting ways.]]
** [[Manga/WanganMidnight Go down the next ramp. I have a feeling we won't meet again.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} Who's there?]]
** [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys IT'S ME.]]
** [[RunningGag No, he's playing baseball.]]
** Is this another KnockKnockJoke?
** Bobby.
*** [[Wrestling/PaulHeyman Bobby who?]]
*** [[Wrestling/BrockLesnar Exactly.]]
** Yes, he is. [[WhosonFirst No third base needed.]]
** [[WebAnimation/{{Arfenhouse}} JO'Z HEER]]
* [[Theatre/DearEvanHansen Does anybody have a map?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/DoraTheExplorer I'm the map, I'm the map...]]
** [[VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends Who needs a map?!]]
** [[Film/KnightsOfBadassdom They suck at making maps!]]
** [[WebAnimation/FinalFantasyVIIMachinabridged Where the hell would I put a map? In all the pockets I don't have?]]
** [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaCDiGames Here is the map. Where do you wish to go?]]
** Where we're going, we don't NEED maps!
* [[Theatre/DearEvanHansen When you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around, do you every really crash or even make a sound?]]
* [[Theatre/TheBookOfMormon What will you do, Joseph? Will you fight the clitoris-man?]]
** Can I at least do an EnemyScan first?
** ...I can't find him.
** [[Theatre/JosephAndTheAmazingTechnicolorDreamcoat Please stop, I don't believe in free love!]]
** [[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureBattleTendency I've got a plan... One last all-or-nothing gambit! Yeah, it's my final move... Listen up! This is something you're going to have to do for yourself! ...Hmmmmhmmmmhmmmhmmm....]] '''''[[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureBattleTendency RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVES!]]'''''
* [[Theatre/{{Wicked}} Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?]]
** [[Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG 829. Despite the song's claim]], [[Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow a pelvic thrust does not cause Sanity loss.]]
** [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventurePhantomBlood Is he a victim of circumstance, you're wondering? Not on your life! He's been evil since he drew his first breath!]]
* [[Theatre/SouthPacific Ditez-moi pourquoi la vie est gai?]]
** [[NoYou No, YOU'RE gay!]]
** [[GratuitousFrench Pardonnez-moi, je ne parle pas très bien français.]]
** [[Series/{{Scrubs}} Yes! I am the king of gay chicken!]]
** [[WebAnimation/RedVsBlue Yes, that's right. I'm a gay robot.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuyPresentsLaughItUpFuzzball A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...]]
** [[Manga/AzumangaDaioh The correct term is lesbain! UH, NOT THAT I'M A LESBAIN!!]]
** [[WebVideo/MetalGearSolidTheAbridgedSnakes We're here, we're queer... I mean, all for one and one fo- forget it.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons No one's gay for Moleman...]]
** [[Film/MeanGirls He's almost too gay to function.]]
** [[WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged Maybe I'm gay, or maybe stereotypes are bullshit.]]
** [[Series/{{DegrassiTheNextGeneration}} I'm gay. I'm totally, totally gay.]]
** [[WebComic/{{Sonichu}} I'm straight! I'm straight! You're the homos! Every last one of you!]]
** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub Silver, you know what? You're a twink. I'm gonna go smoke some weed now.]]
** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub I was gay before the light!]]
** [[WebVideo/DeathNoteAbridgedStackedSugarCubes I told you, I'm not gay!]]
** [[WebComic/TheNonAdventuresOfWonderella I ain't gay, but I'll lay back.]]
** [[WebVideo/DeathNoteAbridgedDogface701 I'm not gay, but that Light Yagami is one fine piece of ass.]]
** [[WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeriesTeamDattebayo My boyfriend is GAY!]]
** [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Possibly homosexual. Must investigate further.]]
** [[Music/{{DESCENDENTS}} Go away, you fucking gay!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks Nigga, you gay!]]
** [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries What, just because a guy likes to dress effeminately, and hang around with another extremely attractive man, and read yaoi, and flaunt his gorgeous abs, and stroke a phallic symbol suggestively in every other scene, that automatically makes him gay?]]
** [[WebVideo/MarikPlaysBloodlines Ok, ok! I admit it! I'm gay, I'm gay! I like men, and I like men's bottoms, and I have a whole folder on my computer filled with Thiefshipping pictures!]]
** [[Film/AlmostFamous Fuck it! I'm gay!]]
** [[WebComic/FinalFantasyVIITheSevening Last night I was worried that I might be gay, but you are possibly the hottest girl I have ever laid my eyes on.]]
** [[WebVideo/GameGrumps Yeah. I like to fuck a girl with another guy in the same hole. Does that make me gay? And what if that girl is a guy?]]
** [[Creator/Dathings1 Is he gay, or is he peeing?]]
** [[Creator/Dathings1 A little gay is fun when you're Russian!]]
** [[Creator/JimmyDavis Hey, hey, how's the gay? I said, hey, hey, how's the gay?]]
** [[AudioPlay/DirtyPotter When I was your age, I took penis in the poophole for almost two days. I said "Fuck you, kind parents, for giving me buttsex to make me gay."]]
** [[WebVideo/{{Boogidyboo}} You're GAY?! FUCK you!]]
** [[WebVideo/{{avojaifnot}} You're all faggots! FAGGOTS, I SAY!]]
*** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Faggot: A bundle of sticks for fuel. [Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks] ]]
*** [[Music/GreenDay Well maybe I'm the faggot America!\\
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda!]]
** [[WebVideo/Chris10237 This place is gayer than I expected!]]
** [[Creator/DaThings1 Mother said not to be straight! I should've heeded her advice!]]
** [[WebAnimation/DiamondIsUnbreakableRetold The guys and I hate him. He's a single tool. He's just kind of gay. He sucks the cock out of the party.]]
** [[VideoGame/BookOfMarioKingOfMiami I can't go on, the Homosexuals are going to kill us.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones We'll have a gay old time!]]
*** WIIIIILLLLMAAAAAAA!!!
** '''''[[Videogame/INJUSTICE2 ENOUGH WITH THESE WORDS!]]'''''
** Sorry, I don't understand what you mean.
** [[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1990 You want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy before.]]
** In English: "Do tell, why is life that beautiful?"
*** Beautiful? [[Series/DempseyandMakepeace Life's tough, life's a bitch, and then you die.]]
** [[Film/CaptainBlood Don't fling your French at me!]]
** [[WebVideo/GameTheory But that's just a theory.]] [[MemeticMutation A GAY theory!]]
* Theatre/WhyMarry
** [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS16E10TheresSomethingAboutMarrying There's Something About Marrying]].
** [[Film/StepBrothers Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Candide}} Objection! What about snakes?]]
** [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Asps... very dangerous. You go first.]]
** [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil1 It's not just a poisonous snake]]... [[Narm/ResidentEvil it's a MONSTAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!]]
** [[VideoGame/KingsQuestVAbsenceMakesTheHeartGoYonder Graham, watch out! A]] [[AcCENTUponTheWrongSylLABle POI]][[VideoGame/KingsQuestVAbsenceMakesTheHeartGoYonder sonous snake!]]
** [[Music/TheLonelyIsland You're still a cunt, Steve! Go fuck your snake!]]
** [[VideoGame/ShadowWarrior1997 Ugly, scary, snake... shitface!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse Snake people, or 'Sneople', control our government at the highest levels!]]
* [[Theatre/TheProducers Who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town?]]
** [[ExtremeOmnisexual Anything.]]
*** With the [[SleepsWithEveryoneButYou exception]] of [[Anime/PantyAndStockingWithGarterbelt Brief]].
** [[PizzaBoySpecialDelivery The pizza boy.]]
** [[RoboSexual A robot.]]
*** [[WebAnimation/MinilifeTV Say, how would you like to go back to my place and do some deeds that won't be caught by this camera crew?]]
** [[ScrewYourself Yourself.]]
*** [[WebVideo/TheNoveltyDesire I do not fuck me.]]
*** [[WebComic/FinalFantasyVIITheSevening Get off me, you handsome devil!]]
*** [[WebVideo/{{avojaifnot}} And so we fucked ourselves.]]
** [[SexFaceTurn The]] [[DatingCatwoman villain.]]
*** [[Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG 1775. Just because I spared the villain's life doesn't mean she owes me a first date.]]
** [[SextraCredit The teacher.]]
** [[SingleMomStripper A single mom.]]
*** [[Film/ForrestGump Your mama sure does care about your schooling, son!]]
*** [[Film/SuperheroMovie I love you like your father did. I believe in you like your father did. I even had sex with your mother just like your father did!]]
** [[SleepingWithTheBoss The boss]] and/or [[SleepingWithTheBosssWife his wife.]]
** [[InLoveWithTheGangstersGirl The gangster's girl.]]
** [[StupidSexyFriend Your]] {{friend|sWithBenefits}}.
** [[ComfortingTheWidow The widow.]]
** [[KissingCousins Your cousin.]]
*** [[Film/TheWolfOfWallStreet If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.]]
** [[IntimatePsychotherapy Your patient.]]
** [[Music/SiIvaGunner A chicken and a goat.]]
*** [[Series/TheDailyShow ...W-well, I mean, to be fair to Larry... is chicken-sex ever really consensual?]]
** [[Film/{{Showgirls}} I didn't fuck anybody...]]
*** [[Film/TrueLies I think maybe she's telling the truth.]]
*** [[WebVideo/CinemaSins Um... our Easter Bunny disagrees.]]
** [[Series/TheWalkingDead The wrong people]].
** [[WebAnimation/{{Walrusguy}} You must f]][[CensoredForComedy ***]] [[WesternAnimation/{{Ratatoing}} Marcel]] [[YouTubePoop Toing.]]
** [[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Rule of Acquisition #112: Never have sex with the boss' sister.]]
** [[Franchise/StarTrekExpandedUniverse Rule of Acquisition #113: Always have sex with the boss.]]
** [[{{Cuckold}} A wife]].
*** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub Now if you'll excuse me, I have more ladies to go to bed with. Isn't that right, Doctor Ivo Robotnik?]]
*** [[ComicBook/TheKingpin The Kingpin has rules -- rules which you would do well to memorize. Among these rules is one stipulating that we do not touch another man's wife for any reason -- ever.]]
** A [[SilverFox grandma]].
*** [[WesternAnimation/Ben10AlienForce I don't know if I can pound your grandma!]]
*** [[Radio/TrueCapitalist Fucking making my granny like she would bang an African YOU FUCK! MY GRANNY'S NOT STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK, YOU FUCKIN' TROLLS!]]
** [[Music/TheLonelyIsland A giant fish.]]
** [[Music/TheLonelyIsland Go fuck your snake!]]
*** [[WebVideo/GameGrumps I don't fuck snakes! That's disgusting!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/PerfectHairForever I HAVE SEX WITH DOGS, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?]]
*** [[Creator/MoBrosStudios What did you do that for?]]
** [[HotAsHell The devil.]]
*** [[Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit Satan has penetrated you over 13,000 times, you whore... GOD DEMANDS YOUR REPENTANCE!]]
*** [[Music/{{SSQ}} I once slept with the devil, it was really no big thrill.]]
** [[WebVideo/TheMisadventuresOfSkooks Go to the church and ask God to fug you!]]
** [[WebAnimation/PonyDotMov A snail]].
** [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Don't know how to "fuck" something.]]
** [[Memes/AttackOnTitan Bees and the eagles.]]
*** [[Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews It's hip to]] [[Series/PennAndTellerBullshit fuck]] [[WebVideo/GamesRepainted bees!]]
** [[ComicBook/SecretSix A butterfly.]]
** [[ComicBook/TheSuperiorFoesOfSpiderMan A bull.]]
** [[BrotherSisterIncest Your sister.]]
*** [[Literature/{{Haganai}} Big brother I want you to give me your big juicy thick c**k and drench me with your hot sticky c** until I'm gasping for air!]]
*** [[Film/DirtyWork "Oh yeah, and remember in the twelfth grade, you had sex with her? Ha--"\\
\\
...\\
\\
"Okay, enough reminiscing."]]
*** [[ComicBook/{{Preacher}} Son of God or son of man, Marseille; you can't fuck your sister and expect much good to come of it.]]
*** [[Series/{{Rome}} You fucked your sister! You little pervert!]]
** [[{{Twincest}} Your twin.]]
** [[ParentalIncest Your father.]]
*** [[Theatre/TheCompleteWorksOfWilliamShakespeareAbridged Eeeeww!]]
** [[ParentalIncest Your mother.]]
*** [[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub Well, if you're my dad, it makes the last dub horrifying. God.]]
*** [[Creator/MoBrosStudios Fried chicken tramp! You want to be your mother's lover? In earnest?]]
** [[ILoveTheDead The dead.]]
*** [[VideoGame/WarcraftIII I love dead people. Frequently.]]
*** [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater That... may be the worst thing you have ever said.]]
*** [[WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged C'mon now, mate. Gotta have standards! I know we're shootin' and rapin', but necrophilia's a step too far.]]
** [[PedoHunt Children]].
*** [[Film/ThisIsSpinalTap You're sweet, but you're just four feet.\\
And you still got your baby teeth.\\
You're too young, and I'm too well hung.\\
Tonight, I'm gonna rock you!]]
** [[WebVideo/{{Vinesauce}} I'd fuck Bayonetta!]]
** [[Film/Robocop2 Go fuck a refrigerator, pecker-neck!]]
** [[ReallyGetsAround Anyone and everyone I see.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Oliver}} Where is love?]]
** [[UsefulNotes/CanadianProvincesAndTerritories In Saskatchewan.]]
** [[Memes/{{Music}} Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt-]] wait...
** Love is for pussies.
** [[Anime/FreshPrettyCure In Yotsuba]].
* [[Theatre/{{Oliver}} Who will buy my sweet red roses?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast Not the Prince. Begone, you hideous old hag!]]
*** [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Who are you calling old?!]]
** [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} There's fennel for you, and columbines. There's rue for you, and here's some for me. We may call it herb of grace o' Sundays. O, you must wear your rue with a difference! There's a daisy. I would give you some violets, but they wither'd all when my father died.]]
** [[Film/AKnightsTale A flower is good for nothing. You can't eat a flower, a flower can't keep you warm...]]
* [[Theatre/{{Rent}} How do you measure, measure a year?]]
** With a calendar.
** [[ButformeitwasTuesday How do you measure, measure your breath?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Wicked}} What is this feeling, fervid as a flame? Does it have a name?]]
** WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove
** [[Film/TheProducers It's called an erection. Well, it's either that or malaria. Don't worry, they've got pills for everything these days.]]
* [[Theatre/TheLastFiveYears Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 I've got soul to spare, but none for you.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Hadestown}} Why do we build the wall?]]
** [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump To keep the Mexicans out.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/ColorClassics There's gold in the Sun, I saw it there. Precious gold that is so rare. So get busy everyone, build my wall to reach the Sun!]]
** What wall?
* [[Theatre/CityOfAngels Funny?\\
How'd I fail to see this little bedtime tale was funny?]]
** [[VideoGame/Mother3 The Frightbot told a story so scary you couldn't help but laugh.]]
** [[Creator/CharlesDickens The absurdity of the situation put its pathos to the rout.]]
** [[Blog/ToplessRobot Spider-Man gave Mary Jane cancer by tragically shooting her up repeatedly with his horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. His horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. That's not tragic. That shit is fucking hilarious.]]
** [[Creator/CleolindaJones There was a Line of Bathos, and you crossed it. I know it's a metaphorical fish, but sweetie, that fish ain't comin' back.]]
** [[WebVideo/BennettTheSage A baby just watched his mother die right before his eyes. Why is this so hilarious to me? Oh wait, no, I know why. It's because she died by getting bonked on the head by an empty shell casing!]]
** [[WebVideo/{{Phelous}} Primal kinda died too by becoming a hilarious pancake on the floor, which seems more like a gag for Waspinator in Beast Wars than a supposed-to-be dramatic death for your main hero.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheJimmyTimmyPowerHour I should not be laughing! This is a terrible situation! And yet... I find myself unable to resist... your influence!]]
** [[AudioPlay/DirtyPotter The awful thing was that you probably thought this was funny. But it isn't. At all. Ever.]]
** [[Film/Joker2019 I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it's a fucking comedy.]]
*** [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents Everyone knows comedy is the lowest form of entertainment, next to animation.]]
** [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater See, I was confused by the total lack of comedy.]]
** [[VideoGame/MortalKombat11 "Funny" ain't the word for it.]]
** [[VideoGame/Injustice2 I'll show you funny!]]
* [[Theatre/DeathOfASalesman When the hell did I lose my temper?]]
** When someone brought up UsefulNotes/NiagaraFalls.
*** [[{{BerserkButton/Film}} NIAGARA FALLS?! Sloooooooooowly I turned...]]
*** Step by step... Inch by inch...
** When someone pressed your BerserkButton.
** The moment you join the [[Characters/GLRedLanternCorps Red Lantern Corps]].
* [[Theatre/JosephAndTheAmazingTechnicolorDreamcoat Poor, poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack HEY! I'm not poor!]]
** My name is not Joseph.
** [[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureBattleTendency Well, if I'm gonna be sitting around for 30 minutes, I've got nothing better to do. Best place to wait is right in front of Lisa Lisa's door.]] [[ThePeepingTom And if my eye just happens to wander near the keyhole... Niiiiiice.]]
* [[Theatre/TheRiseAndFallOfTheCityOfMahagonny Where is the telephone? Is here no telephone?]]
** No, not since the BrattyHalfPint broke it.
*** [[VideoGame/BlazBlueCrossTagBattle I am not a brat! Take it back! Take it back!]]
*** Your language says otherwise.
** [[Music/SiIvaGunner I ate those phone.]]
** Where we're going, WE DON'T NEED A TELEPHONE!
* [[Theatre/BatmanTheMusical What did Batman do in Katmandu?]]
** [[Series/Batman1966 The Batusi]].
** [[DatingCatwoman Catwoman]].
** Subduing the corrupt tribesmen.
* [[Theatre/{{Beetlejuice}} When you're dead, who gives a shit?]]
** [[NoDeadBodyPoops You do. Literally.]]
** [[VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft I'm dead... and I'm pissed.]]
** [[Film/BrideOfChucky Yeah... but dying is such a bitch!]]
** [[VideoGame/WanganMidnight I don't love people and they don't love me. And if I died, nobody would mourn me.]]
** [[VideoGame/Injustice2 Been dead, done that!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Cats}} What's a Jellicle cat?]]
** CAT KITTY CAT CAT KITTY CAT CAT
** "Jeliccle"? What is that?
* [[Theatre/TheTamingOfTheShrew What's this? Mutton?]]
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV The grade 3 stew actually contains ingredients with names other than "dunno" or "not sure, but it was definitely dead when I threw it in."]]
** [[ImaHumanitarian Human meat.]]
* [[Theatre/OnAClearDayYouCanSeeForever Talk to flowers right here?]]
** It's good to TalkToEveryone, so why not?
** [[WesternAnimation/AliceInWonderland All the flowers\\
Would have very extra special powers\\
They would sit and talk to me for hours\\
When I'm lonely in a world of my own.]]
** [[VideoGame/DontStarve HEY THERE, FLOWERS. WANNA... KILL ALL HUMANS?]]
** This coming from [[ComicBook/AquaMan a man who talks to fish]] every second?
*** [[VideoGame/Injustice2 I command them!]]
* [[Theatre/TheKingAndI Shall we dance?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce Dancing is forbidden!]]
** [[WesternAnimation/VeggieTales I can't dance.]]
** [[Series/{{Angel}} You remember when I said they didn't have music in my world? Wish I could say the same about the dancing.]]
** [[Film/HighSchoolMusical2 I don't dance.]]
** [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIIRemake Let's dance, asshole!]]
* [[Theatre/AnyoneCanWhistle Then I'm sure there was a saying you learned that you have used ever since to govern your life. A motto, a watchcry?]]
** [[Music/{{Batman}} GET THE FUNK UP!]]
** [[Music/WeirdAlYankovic Dare to be Stupid!]]
** [[Franchise/TheLionKing Hakuna Matata!]]
** [[Literature/IForcedABotToWriteThisBook Live Laugh Love. Or Else.]]
** None of the above.
* [[Theatre/MuchAdoAboutNothing Hath no man's dagger here a point for me?]]
** What dagger?
** [[WebVideo/CriticalRole Dagger, dagger, dagger.]]
** [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater I can't resist the knife. So sleek, so sharp. So silent. I wonder, will I do it slow or fast? On the one hand, I'd]] '''[[Webcomic/EightBitTheater love]]''' [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater for you to feel every inch of metal slowly pierce your skin and then rip your belly asunder. Just the]] '''[[Webcomic/EightBitTheater thought]]''' [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater puts a smile on my face.]] [[TheFaceless Not that you can see it.]] [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater But on the other hand, there's nothing quite so satisfying as slitting a man's throat. There's such a sinister beauty in the efficiency of it. The pain would wake you up just in time to die.]]
** [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.]]
* [[Theatre/KeatingTheMusical A GST, well this is what you call salvation,\\
To whack taxation over the nation?\\
This is the bright new plan that you bring?\\
Fifteen percent on everything?]]
** Yes, including [[VideoGame/AceCombat7SkiesUnknown the death of a million people to save ten million!]]
* [[Theatre/KeatingTheMusical If people hate me, and you're so great, why you wanna make me wait?]]
** [[VideoGame/Tekken5 To let you savor your death.]]
* [[Theatre/TheMerchantOfVenice If you prick us, do we not bleed?]]
** [[Literature/{{Neverwhere}} Mr. Vandemar pondered this for a moment, in the dark. Then he said, perfectly accurately, "No."]]
** [[Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnofJustice You will!]]
** [[Film/{{Dodgeball}} Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.]] ''[[Film/{{Dodgeball}} Nobody!]]''
** [[WesternAnimation/TheRoadtoElDorado Do you know why the gods demand blood? Because gods don't bleed.]]
* ''Theatre/WhosAfraidOfVirginiaWoolf''
** You are, stupid.
** [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 I fear no man. But that thing... it scares me.]]
** [[Videogame/Injustice2 Fear isn't in my genes.]]
** [[ComicBook/SpiderMan Spider]]-[[Radio/CabinPressure Man]].
* [[Theatre/CriticsChoice Let's talk about geography. Tell me, Parker, how do you]] ''[[Theatre/CriticsChoice know]]'' [[Theatre/CriticsChoice the world is flat?]]
** [[Creator/ShelSilverstein I've been down to the edge of the world,\\
Sat on the edge where the wild wind whirled,\\
Peeked over the ledge where the blue smoke curls,\\
And I can tell you, boys and girls,\\
The world is FLAT!]]
** I've been deceived by flat-earth [[KnowNothingKnowItAll know-it-alls]] who believe in the one absolute truth the world is flat, even if I tried to convince them otherwise by saying the world is round like a ball.
** I don't. Had the world been flat, there would be no day, no night, no seasons, no time, no terrain, no depth, no height, no mountains, no hills, no elevation, the list goes on.
* [[Theatre/HowILearnedToDrive Who did it to you, Uncle Peck? How old were you? Were you eleven?]]
** [[Theatre/PacificOvertures I was younger then... I was only ten.]]
** [[WoundedGazelleGambit No one. I pretended to be wounded so I can personally kill you when you're gullible.]]
** ''[[Film/Ghostbusters1984 I HATE YOU, VENKMAN!]]''
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet I dreamt a dream tonight.\\
And so did I.\\
Well, what was yours?]]
** [[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice It starts out where I'm in an all-nude production of]] ''Theatre/DeathOfASalesman [[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice On Ice]]'', [[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice but I haven't studied and can't remember my lines. Suddenly, it begins to rain marshmallows, but that's OK because the trees are made of graham crackers and chocolate bars are the official currency. I believe that by working together, we can make that dream a reality.]]
** [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration It is kind of difficult to explain. Counselor Troi's body... was a cake.]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} I had the weirdest dream that I was in]] ''Film/TheBourneIdentity!'' [[WesternAnimation/ToyStory3 Lotso, you were there, and you were there too, Ken.]] [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} And]] Creator/MattDamon, [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} you were there,]] [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} and]] Creator/JuliaStiles, [[WesternAnimation/{{MAD}} you were there... but you weren't really in anything after that. I don't know why, 'cause you were great in]] ''Film/TenThingsIHateAboutYou...''
** [[Film/RiskyBusiness The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are]] ''[[Film/RiskyBusiness you]]'' [[Film/RiskyBusiness doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.]]
** [[Film/ANightmareOnElmStreet3DreamWarriors In my dreams I'm beautiful. And bad!]]
** [[Literature/SmallGods I always dream of a giant carrot chasing me through a field of lobsters.]]
** [[Comicbook/TheSandman1989 These things with faces like appendectomy scars were crocheting my intestines into body bags for the blind and dead. I told myself it was only a dream, but it didn't matter. They just kept on bloody knitting.]]
** [[Film/TheDevilsCarnival In all my dreams I drown.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Machinal}} Suppose the machine shouldn't work?]]
** [[Theatre/TheTimeOfYourLife Give it a whack on its side.]]
** HaveYouTriedRebooting
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet What shall I swear by?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Ninjago}} You should never swear. It's a sign of weak verbal skills.]]
** '''''[[Film/BatmanBegins Swear to me!]]'''''
** '''''[[Film/SpiderMan3 EVERYTHING!]]'''''
* [[Theatre/TheUnsinkableMollyBrown Are you sure that you haven't been answered? Now think, children, think!]]
** [[Magic8Ball Reply hazy. Ask again later.]]
** [[Film/AFewGoodMen I want the]] ''[[Film/AFewGoodMen truth!]]''
* [[Theatre/TheThreepennyOpera What keeps a man alive?]]
** [[Film/BenHur1959 Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.]]
* [[Theatre/{{Macbeth}} What bloody man is that?]]
** [[Literature/HarryPotter The Bloody Baron]]
** [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer William the Bloody]]
** ''Theatre/BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson''
** [[Film/ArmyOfDarkness Name's Ash. Housewares.]]
* [[Theatre/AllMySons What is this, Labor Day?]]
** [[Music/ThePeoplesChoiceMusic Hey everybody, it's Labor Day!]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Should I take the bus or walk instead?]]
** [[Theatre/{{Allegro}} Oh, hell, I'll walk!]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Do you wanna ride, wanna go far?]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill What did we say about masturbation?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsonsMovie More than two shakes and it's playing with yourself?]]
** [[Music/{{Divinyls}} When I think about you I touch myself.]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Did you kill Eminem?!]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Could you get out of my head for like, five minutes?]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill Should I take the upgrade?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Robots}} Sorry, pal, it's either upgrade or the Chop Shop for you.]]
* [[Theatre/BeMoreChill You think I wanted to teach high school drama? In New Jersey?!]]
* [[Theatre/{{Heathers}} How'd you find my address?!]]
* [[Theatre/HanselAndGretel1893 Nibble, nibble, mousekin,\\
Who's nibbling at my housekin?]]
** [[Series/SesameStreet Me Cookie Monster!]] Me love to eat GingerbreadHouse!
* [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet What, art thou hurt?]]
** [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants No! I'm just doubled over in pain BECAUSE ITS A NEW DANCE CRAZE!]]
** '''''[[VideoGame/EarthBound1994 NESS... IT HURTS... IT HURTS...]]'''''
** [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} Ow! ...That didn't hurt.]]
** [[Creator/TheCapitolSteps My megahertz so bad, even my gigahertz a tad.]]
* [[Theatre/OurAmericanCousin Don't know the manners of good society, eh?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist?]]
* [[Theatre/{{Falsettos}} Hepatitis hepatitis?]]
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