History Funny / XenaWarriorPrincess

-->''It's just a little ruby, no one's gonna notice.
-->''The ruby, it's gone!''
-->''Oh, all right!'' ''[throws it back]''
-->''The ruby, it's back!''

-->''"I'm no princess. I'm a Queen"''.

-->'''Atolycus''': "Well, I hope you two worked things out".

-->''"It's just a little ruby, no one's gonna notice."
-->''"The ruby, it's gone!"''
-->''"Oh, all right!"'' ''[throws it back]''
-->''"The ruby, it's back!''"

** Xena stuck in a {{Groundhog Day Loop}}. Her frustration keeps mounting until she throws her chakram right into Joxer's chest during one of his wake-up calls, then goes back to sleep while Gabrielle freaks out. And then there's the bit where she's revealed the situation to Gabrielle and Joxer so many times that she's memorized every suggestion they make.

'''Joxer''': ''[suddenly recovers and leans beside Gabrielle]'' You cried for me?

'''Xena''' (relieved): "Right!"\\
'''Gabrielle''': "Well, I don't get it."

* The skeleton fight. As in Xena and Alti are in the spirit realm, leading to the peeling off of skin so that their skeletons can duel, in the "best" CGI that the late 90s could offer.

* In "The King of Assassins", Gabrielle trying to imitate Xena's moves for a major EpicFail. When she tries to use a bowl like the chakram, it bounces and smacks her in the face. Gabriel tries to use to use Xena's pinch on a guard and informs him that she's cut off the flow of blood to his limbs and that the numbness will be setting him. He shrugs it off with a very casual, "Nope! I seem to be fine. Don't do that."

'']a short while later]''\\

** Gabrielle trying to imitate Xena's moves for a major EpicFail. When she tries to use a bowl like the chakram, it bounces and smacks her in the face. When she tries to use the PressurePoint move on a guard, it has no effect and the guard punches her out while she's giving the, "I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You'll be dead in thirty seconds..." speech.

* In "The King of Assassins", Gabriel tries to use to use Xena's pinch on a guard and informs him that she's cut off the flow of blood to his limbs and that the numbness will be setting him. He shrugs it off with a very casual, "Nope! I seem to be fine. Don't do that."

-->'''Xena''': Nah, that's just a myth. [[ADateWithRosiePalms Guys don't really go blind when they do that]].

--> ''(Gabrielle has to jump to a moving chariot from Xena's horse)''
--> '''Xena:''' Jump!
--> '''Gabrielle:''' Are you ''crazy''?
--> '''Xena:''' ''Jump!''
--> '''Gabrielle:''' If I die I'm never talking to you again!
--> ''(a short while later)''
--> '''Xena:''' You call that a jump?
--> '''Gabrielle:''' No, it was a frantic leap. Best I could do.

* The pre-opening credits sequence from "The Path Not Taken", in which Xena casually punches out several drunken, violent bar patrons one at a time, presumably without Gabrielle noticing a thing. Then Xena finally uses her alchohol-plus-flaming-torch flamethrower trick on another, causing an entire table of patrons to [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere hastily exit]]. Then:
--> '''Gabrielle:''' Did you ever notice that we never have a problem getting a table?
--> '''Xena:''' It's a mystery to me.

--> '''Xena:''' ''(mounting Argo backwards)'' Gooooo horsey!

--> '''Barbarian Leader:''' We fight with the heart of a lion!
--> '''Aphrodite:''' And you run with the feet of a chicken.

** During a brief lull in some violence, Gabrielle and Ares actually begin to talk and, purely by accident, start making light hearted jokes about their past dealings with each other, before both wising up and bringing the conversation to a screeching halt.
-->'''Ares''': We were starting to...warm up to each other there, weren't we?
-->'''Gabrielle''': ...Yeah, we were.
-->''[[[{{Beat}} Long, awkward pause]]]''
-->'''Ares''': I didn't like it.
-->'''Gabrielle''': Right back at ya.
** Gabrielle accidentally de-powering Ares & Aphrodite and they both fall out of the sky.

--->'''Joxer''': Do you guys smell that?
--->'''Aphrodite''': Lay off me, turkey. I'm new to this mortal hygiene thing.

--> '''Diana:''' This is my [[BuffySpeak round killing thing]].
--> '''Gabrielle:''' Chakram.
--> '''Diana:''' Bless you.

-->'''Agis''' (the episode's bad guy): You are useful to me only if you are a convincing thespian.
-->'''Meg''' (Xena and Diana's [[IdenticalStranger evil triple]]): You never said nothing about no [[HoYay kinky stuff]].

--> '''Xena:''' You must be Charon.
--> '''Charon:''' [[SarcasmMode No, I'm Tilulu the dancing girl]].

--> '''Charon:''' Oh, ‘I know something's gone wrong on the other side.' You can say that again. We've got everything turned upside down. All the wicked are in the Elysian Fields. All the good guys are in Tartarus. And now, we've got tourists.

--> '''Charon:''' Alright, that is ''it''. I'm drawing the line here. Someone has to. So, I'm not taking either of you across unless you've got a gold coin. Now, there will be no exceptions, no bargains, no compromises, and absolutely no deals -
--> ''(Xena holds up Hades' Helmet of Invisibility)''
--> '''Charon:''' ...Welcome aboard. Hope you have a great time. Please make yourself comfortable. Keep your hands inside of the boat. ''(Xena and Marcus board the boat)'' Now, looking to the left, you will see the caves of distress, and just ahead, coming up on the right, you will see the hanging garden of disgusting disease.
* "Hooves & Harlots" when Xena and Ephiny find out the war between Amazons and Centaurs is provoked by someone else by investigating an ambush.
-->'''Ephiny''': (picks up horse dropping) These contain raw hay stalks. Centaurs don't eat hay.
-->'''Xena''': Actually I was referring to the hoof prints. Centaurs put their weight on their front legs.
-->'''Ephiny''': That's just as good.

* "Here She Comes...Miss Amphipolis" when one of the contestants who is a dude gets mistaken for Xena Warrior Princess.

--> '''Gabrielle:''' The Elysian Fields! Only heroes wind up here. ''({{Beat}})'' Dead heroes. ''(she glances down, realizes she is completely naked and covers herself with her arms)'' [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Dead naked heroes]].

* "Kindred Spirits" has so many such as when Gabrielle was woken up she says [[HoYay "Not tonight"]]. Other examples includes when Gabrielle tells Xena that Joxer will be blinded for being a peeping tom.

--->'''Cyane''': What are you doing?!
--->'''Rhea''': It's called kissing. [[InnocentInnuendo Wanna try it?]]

--->''So I'm just a sexual object to be used and discarded. A baloney pony. A disposable stud. All right!''

--->''I am Xena, the ultimate woman! Versus Joxer, the ultimate meatball! And I will crush his head like a peanut between the thighs of DOOOOM!''

-->''And you need a diversion. [[SarcasmMode Oh, pick me]]''.

* Xena organizing a jail break in "The Black Wolf".

--> '''Gabrielle''': "You know, you wouldn't even be in here if you had just kept your [[ItMakesSenseInContext hands off my tomatoes.]]"

* "Purity" had the one where Gabrielle had to use Joxer's black powder to escape their stocks. It was in his pocket so she had to reach in there with her toes...

-->'''Xena''': ''If you weren't such a quack you'd know that getting pregnant requires certain physical requirements that I haven't met in a long time. And I mean a very long time. No one, zilch, zippo. I am a love-free zone so it is impossible for me to be up the duff. So what's your diagnosis now?''
-->'''Doctor''': ''Mood swings!''

-->'''Leah''': Yes, well, we all have our excuses don't we?
-->'''Gabrielle''': (Xena smirks and Gab turns to her) Were you?

-->''"Oh, all right!"'' (throws it back)

--->'''Xena''': There was so much blood [from Joxer's dying body]!
''[Joxer [[{{Fainting}} faints]] while Gabrielle still looks disbelieving]''
'''Xena''': We had a funeral for him! You cried over him!

* "Been There Done That":
** Xena stuck in a {{Groundhog Day Loop}}. Her frustration keeps mounting until she throws her chakram right into Joxer's chest during one of his wake up calls. And then there's the bit where she's revealed the situation to Gabrielle and Joxer so many times that she's memorized every suggestion they make.
-->"No, No, Yes, No, I tried that, yes both ways, no, I don't know, no again, are there any more questions? Good."

--> '''Xena''': There was so much blood [from Joxer's dying body]!
--> '''Joxer''': [[{{Fainting}} -faints-]]
--> '''Xena''': (Gabrielle still looks disbelieving) We had a funeral for him! You cried over him!
--> '''Joxer''': -suddenly recovers and leans beside Gabrielle- You cried for me?

-->'''Gabrielle''': "So you're saying that today is actually yesterday for you, but for us today is today, because we can't remember that yesterday is today, right?"
-->'''Xena''' (relieved): "Right!"
-->'''Gabrielle''': "Well, I don't get it."

* In "The Xena Scrolls", Ares tells Creator/ReneeOConnor's character that her ancestor was an "annoying blonde." Her thoughts immediately go to Callisto...and she's quite happy about it! But he tells her she's thinking of the wrong blonde. The next scene is her true ancestor in a stupor in "Altared States."

* Xena stuck in a {{Groundhog Day Loop}}. Her frustration keeps mounting until she throws her chakram right into Joxer's chest during one of his wake up calls. And then there's the bit where she's revealed the situation to Gabrielle and Joxer so many times that she's memorized every suggestion they make.

* Also from [[GroundhogDayLoop Been There Done That]], on Xena's second loop, talking about how Joxer died.

* Then there's this exchange, summing up Xena's experience in that episode:

* In "The Xena Scrolls", Ares tells Renee O'Connor's character that her ancestor was an "annoying blonde." Her thoughts immediately go to Callisto...and she's quite happy about it! But he tells her she's thinking of the wrong blonde. The next scene is her true ancestor in a stupor in "Altared States."