History Funny / WaywardGuideForTheUntrainedEye

'''Barney:''' The Eggceptional Independent Party of Connor Creek casts its 1 delegate to [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Black Ink]].\\

-->'''Paul:''' Hey, Rebecca, how'd it go in there? What's his mood like?
--> '''Rebecca:''' ''(turns and shows her tear-stained face before running off sobbing)''
--> '''Paul & Artemis:''' ''(cringe)''

--> '''Ags:''' Time me, time me! I can go fast! Just time me, alright? It's 30 seconds, I'll do it.
-->''[beat]''
--> '''Paul:''' God bless her.

-->'''Artemis:''' You elected a ''dog'' as your ''mayor?''
-->'''Odie:''' It started out as a pretty funny joke, but then we took it too far.
* Artemis describing Twitter to Desmond as a "tiny sentence journal."

-->'''Artemis:''' ''(takes lollipop from Paul)'' I don't think we should be ingesting anything that comes from that man.

* Quinn's response to [[StockPhrase "The customer is always right"]]:

* The town council's minute-long freakout in reaction to [[spoiler: Barney Fletcher's]] death in Episode 7.
* [[spoiler: "The hooey... was true-y."]]

-->'''Artemis:''' ​You never talk so elegantly as when you discuss things that don't matter at all.

* The recap of Artie and Paul's road trip in Chapter 1, which includes multiple replays of "American Pie," multiple nonsense games, and Artemis threatening to kill Paul.
-->'''PAUL:''' ​Here’s another one. Boink, Marry, Kill: the Babadook, the fish monster from ​Film/TheShapeOfWater​, or Sarah Koenig.
-->'''ARTEMIS:''' ​I’m going to kill ​you​ if you don’t cut this out and Sarah Koenig will investigate your murder and exonerate me.
* Paul referencing Film/DetectivePikachu in relation to finding Ryan Reynolds.

* The entire election in Chapter 5 - between the 3:45 wakeup, caucusing over inane voting methods, the Mayor's "speeches," and the antics of the townsfolk, it's completely nuts in the best way.

-->'''OLIVIA:''' ​The Conservatitve Conservation Party of Connor Creek casts its 14 delegates to Blue Ink.
-->'''VERN:''' ​The Liberal Use of Federal Filibuster Party of Connor Creek casts its 16 delegates to Blue Ink.
-->'''BARNEY:''' ​The Eggceptional Independent Party of Connor Creek casts its 1 delegate to [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Black Ink]].
-->'''VERN:''' ​Barney. C’mon.
-->'''BARNEY:''' ​I’m WITHIN MY RIGHTS.

-->'''Donny Meadows'''; Uhm, for marital status are we putting current status or like ideal status? *huff* (to self) I don't wanna close myself off to potential partners, (loudly) I'm just gonna fill out two cards!

** Quinn's response to "The customer is always right"? "They should write that on my tombstone, because it's going to kill me."

* The minute-long freakout in reaction to [[spoiler: Barney Fletcher's]] death in Episode 7.

-->'''BARNEY:''' ​I’m WITHIN MY RIGHTS.

* The entire election - between the 3:45 wakeup, caucusing over inane voting methods, the Mayor's "speeches," and the antics of the townsfolk, it's completely nuts in the best way.

-->'''Paul:''' And you ''nailed'' him, amiright?

* Paul referencing Film/DetectivePikachu in relation to finding Ryan Reynolds.

* Ryan Reynolds sent 18 voicemails, 4 letters, 9 faxes, 3 packages, and...one Edible Arrangement.

''[beat]''

-->'''ARTEMIS:''' ​I’m going to kill ​you​ if you don’t cut this out and Sarah Koenig will investigate your murder and exonerate me.

* Artemis describing Twitter to Desmond.
--> '''Artemis:''' It's like a... tiny sentence journal.

* Ryan Reynolds sent 18 voicemails, 4 letters, 9 faxes, 3 packages, and...one Edible Arrangement.