History Funny / Victorious

For that matter, Jade's scowl after she sings "And I like hamburgers too!" in the most forced, cheery voice imaginable.

* ''Victori-Yes'': After Cat gives yet another NonSequitur in class, Sikowitz gets right up in her face (literally - their noses are touching) and exclaims ''"Nobody ever knows what you're talking about!!"'' Ariana Grande is visibly [[CorpSing corpsing]] as she says her next line: "You have man-breath!"

** Tori needs to be dragged physically into doing the showcase, to the extent that Andre has to pull her off someone's chair. [[UnfazedEveryman And the guy just keeps practicing his drum routine like it's no thang.]]

-->'''Cat'': ''(to Jade)'' What part did you get?

-->'''[[ButtMonkey Sinjin]]''': [[DeadpanSnarker You get used to it]].

->'''Cat''': Did you get the lead? ''([[TantrumThrowing Jade screws up the paper, throws it across the room and furiously kicks a chair]])''

--> '''Jade''': Yeah. Yeah, if you get sick....or go missing...or [[SuddenlyShouting GET HIT BY A BUS!!!!!]] (leaves angrily)
--> '''Tori''': Umm... (hears Jade's wrath outside the room) She can't drive a bus right?
** In ''Tori Gets Stuck'' Tori annoyed with Jade: "Okay, why don't ''you'' go down to the nursery and scare the newborn babies!"

--->"NOBODY LIKES YOU!"

** Called back in "Terror on Cupcake Street" where Rex adds his two cents..
--->'''Sneak Peek Version:''' "Yeah, ain't nobody like you!"
--->'''Broadcast Version:''' "Yeah, you're a nuisance!"

'''Jade:''' You wear girls' pants. You smell like a baby.

** Tori's parents' SeriousBusiness attitude towards ''Film/TermsOfEndearment'' and their bewilderment of Tori's friends viewing it as a comedy.[[note]]Becomes more hillarious when you realize that it ''is'' a romantic comedy-drama.[[/note]]

* From ''Beggin' On Your Knees'':
--> '''Jade''': You must feel pretty stupid right now.
--> '''Beck''': Okay, that's a time out.
--> '''Jade''': No! I was just-
--> '''Beck''': GO SIT ON THE STEPS!

* In "Crazy Ponnie" nobody believes Tori when she says there's a girl named Ponnie(played by Creator/JennetteMcCurdy from Series/ICarly) at their school that's trying to make her look crazy. Tori is freaked to see that the lit up words on her locker door "Make it shine" were changed to "Make it rot". When she goes to get Sikowitz and her classmates to see it, Ponnie secretly switches it back to the original door. When Tori and her friends return:
-->'''Tori:'''''Come see it! It says 'Make it rot!' I and I know Ponnie did it! See!(pointing to the locker and looking back at the others) My locker says 'Make it shine!' (DoubleTake) [[BigWhat WHAAAAT?!!"]]

* Jade uses this line twice in response to being annoyed by Trina's presence.
-->"NOBODY LIKES YOU!"
*** Called back in "Terror on Cupcake Street" where Rex adds his two cents..
--->'''Sneak Peek Version:''' "Yeah, ain't nobody like you!"
--->'''Broadcast Version:''' "Yeah, you're a nuisance!"
* This moment in "Survival of the Hottest":
---> '''Tori''': [[{{Malaproper}} Yeah, thank you, Catherine Obvious!]]
---> {{Beat}}
---> '''Trina''': What?
---> '''Tori''': I said "thank you, Catherine Obvious."
---> '''Robbie''': Did she say ''Catherine'' Obvious?!
---> '''Andre''': It's ''Captain Obvious''.
---> '''Tori''': Huh??
---> '''Jade''': The expression is "Thank you ''Captain'' Obvious".
---> '''Tori''': It's not Catherine?
---> '''Trina''': No!
---> '''Beck''': Who would Catherine be?
---> '''Tori''': Catherine could be a captain!
** [[Series/StarTrekVoyager Kathryn Janeway!]]
** After being teased/insulted over the size of her portable fan, Tori says that she just won't turn it on, and everyone shouts for her to use it:
--> Tori:"Yeah, yeah - NOW you like my tiny fan, don't ya?"
** Being trapped in an RV hinders your sanity...
-->Robbie: "These fish mock me."
** "[[IronicEchoCut IT'S SO COLD!!"/"IT'S SO HOT!!]]"
* The bit with Sinjin in ''Wi-fi in the Sky'' always gets me in stitches.
* EVERYTHING Trina does in ''Freak The Freak Out'' - so much so that ''the entire episode'' is actually a combined LargeHam, ADayInTheLimelight and LowerDeckEpisode episode for Trina, and a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome for Daniella Monet (not to mention Tori's increasingly violent behavior towards her).
** A singing Sikowitz, ending his song by [[Film/{{Flashdance}} having himself splashed with a deluge of water at centerstage.]] Sikowitz is HARDCORE.
** Cat's various interactions with the mean girls (and Jade's commentary about them) were also hilarious. And Cat and Jade discussing their weekend plans in class. And the food decision. Probably the funniest episode of the series overall.
** Cat and Jade's exaggerated/sarcastic '[[BigWhat who knew?]]' reactions to Tori throwing off her disguise.
* When they go to a Chinese restaurant, the hostess has pictures of her on the wall with famous people.
--> '''Tori''': Oh my God, Angelina Jolie!
--> '''Mrs. Lee''': Yes. She ordered Wonton soup, and then she tried to adopt my daughter.

--> '''Mrs. Lee''': Tell me about the play.
--> '''Tori''': Oh. Well, one of our classmates wrote it.
--> '''Robbie''': A girl falls into a well and drowns from her own tears.

--> '''Hostess''': JUST DRAG THE BODY OUT BY THE DUMPSTER AND DON'T SAY NOTHING TO NOBODY...
--> '''Everyone''': O_O

* To relieve the tension after Tori accidentally get Beck fired from his acting job, Andre gets a keyboard to play background music to act out everything happening around.
** When Tori panics when Jade is coming to their table, Andre plays music fitting for a villain. [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Jade's amused smirk]] is what does it. When she starts to leave, Andre plays cheerful music, prompting her to come back.
** '''Jade''': (tampers with Andre's electric keyboard) Okay, remove this, and that's for you. (leaves)
** '''Andre''': Wah, wah, wahhhoh.
* The flashback scene in ''The Great Ping-Pong Scam''.
--> '''Tori:''' So, you guys formed a fake ping pong team so you could get some money, buy a trophy for the school, save the principal's job, and take Sikowitz out for a big fancy dinner?
--> '''Andre:''' ''(pause)'' Yeah, I guess we could've just told it that way.
** When Tori's trying out for the ping pong team, she beats everyone. When she goes against Robbie, she nails him in the groin. Beck, who's holding Rex, covers Rex's eyes with his hand.

**
---> '''Trina:''' Oh my God, they're filming something!

'''Producers (later saying no to Trina):''' 'Cause you reek of desperation.\\

--->Tuna fish, flowers, giggling, the word 'panties,' cilantro, rainbows, ducks...man, I hate ducks, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick cramps,]] string cheese, clocks, wet doorknobs, bras that hook in the front, the color yellow, carpeting...

**

* From ''The Wood'':
--> '''Trina:''' Oh my God, they're filming something!
** This little gem:
--> '''Trina (to Beck)''' Hey Beck, smell my arm. No perfume. That's my natural scent.
--> '''Producers (later saying no to Trina)''' 'Cause you reek of desperation.
--> '''Beck''' That's her natural scent.
** Jade describing what she hates during her The Wood interview:
-->Tuna fish, flowers, giggling, the word 'panties,' cilantro, rainbows, ducks...man, I hate ducks, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick cramps,]] string cheese, clocks, wet doorknobs, bras that hook in the front, the color yellow, carpeting...
** Trina telling Robbie that she tested the deep-fryer on Rex's foot. Robbie's scream when he finds she wasn't bluffing is what seals it.
* Cat's bizarrely spot-on Seinfeld impression. I was in absolute stitches.
* In ''Sleepover at Sikowitz's'', Tori's parents' SeriousBusiness attitude towards ''Film/TermsOfEndearment'' and their bewilderment of Tori's friends viewing it as a comedy.[[note]]Becomes more hillarious when you realize that it ''is'' a romantic comedy-drama.[[/note]]
--> '''''HOW IS THAT FUNNY!?'''''
** The various characters the group play in that episode.
*** Sikowitz does a JumpScare to Tori by having her look at a red dot he drew on an index card.

* From ''Cat's New Boyfriend''
--> '''Sikowitz''': This is what happens when you mix teenagers and hot cheese. (turns to Lane) I warned you.
** Also when he serves Tori a sausage, she asks what meat it was made from, and he simply laughs hysterically, takes Tori's hand, and dances a little until Tori walks away.
** From the same episode:
-->'''Jade:''' "Does it hurt?"\\
'''Andre:''' "No."\\
'''Jade:''' "Awww..."

* The Diddly Bops had ''tons'' of these, actually.
** Sikowitz addressing the class:
---> '''Sikowitz:''' How would you teenagers like to do something for money?
---> '''Tori:''' (''after a pause'') Can we have some details first?
** Robbie's entire "broken glass" song.
--->'''Tori:''' What is ''wrong'' with you?
--->{{Beat}}
--->'''Jade:''' I like it.
** Cat singing the Waggafuffles song.
---> '''Cat:''' (''singing'') Wagga Wagga Wagga Wag your Fuffle left and right! Wagga Wagga Wagga Wag your Fuffle day and night!
---> '''Rex:''' Shut Up.
---> '''Cat:''' (''hurt'') Rex told me to shut up!
---> '''Sikowitz:''' Yes. Thank you, Rex.
** Andre sings a song about how everybody has a nose, to which Jade replies "My grandfather's nose was blown off in the war, so that song is a filthy lie."
** Jade cutting up Tori's flowers.
---> '''Tori:''' My mom grew those flowers in her garden!
---> '''Jade:''' They're lovely. ''(snips the flower petals rapidly)''
** The entirety of the broken glass song.
---> '''Robbie:''' It's fun to run. It's fun to play. It's fun to make things out of clay. It's fun to fill your car with gas. It's fun to break...Things made of glass. But broken glass can cut your hand. And then you'll bleed across the land. Ask any woman, child or man. The dangers that you'll have...With broken glass. With broken glass. But broken glass is not a food. So don't you listen to some dude, who says put cheese on broken glass, and make a sand-a-witch...Out of broken glass!
*** And it goes on.
*** '''Jade:''' ...I like it.
** Backstage before the performance:
---> '''Sikowitz:''' This is a very nice thing you guys are doing here.
---> '''Tori:''' Yeah, yeah. Thousand bucks, right?
** While they're performing as the Diddly-Bops:
---> '''Andre:''' We're here to sing you a special song!
---> '''Robbie:''' All about your favorite foods!
---> '''Henry:''' Sing about dinosaurs!
---> '''Beck:''' ''(in overly-happy voice)'' No-o-o!
*** Then after the song:
----> '''Sinjin:''' Do another song!
----> '''Beck:''' ''(in overly-happy voice)'' No-o-o!
** During the song (''sotto voice''):
---> '''Jade:''' Hate this!
---> '''Tori:''' Thousand bucks!
---> '''Jade:''' Not enough!
** At the end of the song Jade says "We did this for money."
** Jade to Sikowitz: "I'll give you this dollar to get to the point."
*** "I couldn't possibly take your money ... (pockets dollar)"
** Tori: "Apparently we're the Diddly Bops!"
** The vitriol with which everyone (particularly Jade) sang the line "chicken nuggets make me lose control".

--->'''Andre''': The woman's afraid of everything. People, umbrellas, rabbis, bikinis, breakfast foods...\\
'''Tori''': So if she saw [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs a rabbi wearing a bikini eating pancakes...?]]\\
'''Andre''': The woman would ''burst into flames''.

--->'''Cat''': My name's Cat.\\
'''Tori''': Oh, like the animal!\\
'''Cat''': WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?\\
'''Tori''': ...Nothing. I, I love cats.\\
'''Cat''': Me too, they're so cute! ''[walks off]''

--->'''Beck''': Apples are falling out of my butt.\\
'''Sikowitz''': Lovely. Now the next actor who speaks must start his line with the next letter in the alphabet; in this case B, so he might say... ''[lays his hands on Andre's shoulders]''\\
'''Andre''': ''[playing along with Beck's humor]'' Bring those apples, so that we all may enjoy the fresh fruit from Beck's butt.\\
'''Sikowitz''': [[SarcasmMode Charming.]]

--->'''Rex'': Paces?! Man, this girl's not a pirate!

--->'''Trina''': "We'll I'mplode!"

---->'''Andre''': So it's okay if she kills ''me''?\\
'''Robbie''': She'll have a ''harder'' time killing you! You're all firm and developed, and ''I'm'' still working on the last chapter of puberty!\\
'''Rex''': And he is a ''slow'' reader.

--->'''Jade''': Okay, what's our next move?\\
'''Janitor''': ''[head poking out of the blanket he's apparently been sleeping under the whole time]'' Just get the boy a dog!\\
'''Tori''': ''[creeped-out look]'' Go, go out. ''[they hurriedly leave]'' Out now. Run--

--->'''Tori''': Jade.\\
'''Jade''': Yeah?\\
'''Tori''': What should I get Trina?\\
'''Jade''': Talent.

--->'''Mamaw''': MAURY! TURN UP THE HEAT!\\
'''Maury''': NO!

--->'''Mamaw''': MAURY! ROBBIE'S SCREAMING AT ME!\\
'''Maury''': I'M HUNGRY!
** Mamaw's Thoughts about Cat's hair color:
--->'''Mamaw''': Why did you do that to your hair?\\
'''Cat''': What? You mean the color\\
'''Mamaw''': Do you hate your mother?\\
'''Cat''': I love my mother!\\
'''Mamaw''': A girl doesn't dye her hair that color unless she has psychological problems.\\
'''Cat''': My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems!

--->'''Robbie''': Stop watching Fox News!\\
'''Rex''': No! It's fair and balanced!

--->'''Beck''': You juiced my pizza.\\
'''Cat''': Why chew what you can DRINK?\\

'''Robbie''': S'up, my peeps! How's everyone doing this fine day? (to Andre) Do you really need that much ketchup?

--->'''Tori''': Okay, if you had to give up the internet or...one of your feet?\\
'''Cat''': Foot.\\
'''Andre''': Foot.\\
'''Jade''': Foot.\\
'''Beck''': ''[looks at his foot for a second]'' See ya, foot.\\
'''Tori''': Really? You'd all give up a foot to keep the internet?\\
'''Beck''': Totally.\\
'''Cat''': Wouldn't you?\\
'''Andre''': You love the internet.\\
'''Tori''': I know, but my foot is a part of my body. And the internet is...Yeah, bye, foot.

--->'''Cat''': Yay! I love excitement!\\
'''Tori''': Who doesn't love excitement?\\
'''Cat''': Damien. ''[points at kid next to Tori who looks like a drug addict]''\\
'''Damien''': She's right... ''[turns head to stare at Tori]'' ...Tori.\\
'''Tori''': ''[scoots chair away]''

--->'''Tori''': Hey, is it true you're gonna be directing Johnny Depp's new movie?\\
'''Dale''': Uh, looks that way, yeah.\\
'''Damien''': ''[deadpan]'' That even excites ''me''.\\
'''Entire Class''': ''[scoots chairs away]''

--->'''Cat''': Tori locked her in the bathroom.\\

'''Mrs. Vega''': [[ParentalFavoritism I'm okay with it]].

--->'''Nurse''': I don't know why your uncle would soak his feet in chicken fat. Uh, why are you here?\\
'''Cat''': Oh, 'cause this puppet had a really bad accident and got hurt. But he doesn't like to be called a puppet.\\
'''Nurse''': Mm-hmm. And, uh, how did this "puppet" get hurt?\\
'''Cat''': See, well, my friend Tori was trying to make a tornado happen, but she did it wrong, so the puppet flew across the room into a big jet fan.\\
'''Nurse''': Ooh, a flying puppet.\\
'''Cat''': Yeah.\\
'''Nurse''': That's too bad. ''[to orderly]'' Uh, William, would you please take this young lady to our "special room" in section D?

--->'''Cat:''' "Bonk. Bonk. (cheerfully) They work! This doesn't hurt at all! Bonk. Bonk bonk bonk bonkety bonk bonk! I'm Cube-Fist Man!! ''Bonk-bonk-bonk-bonk-bonk!"

'''Sikowitz:''' "Awh... Is a certain little redhead hoping she got a role in teacher's play?"\\
'''Cat:''' ''(adorably)'' "Heeheehee... She is..."\\

* Pretty much everything Rex says...

* In ''Rex Dies'', Cat gets taken to a mental ward and gets red blocks put on her hands to "keep from hurting [her]self". As adorable as it is, watching her hit herself with the blocks is pretty funny.
-->'''Cat:''' "Bonk. Bonk. (cheerfully) They work! This doesn't hurt at all! Bonk. Bonk bonk bonk bonkety bonk bonk! I'm Cube-Fist Man!! ''Bonk-bonk-bonk-bonk-bonk!"
** Cat and Sikowitz earlier in the episode:
--->'''Cat:''' "Did any of the rest of us get parts?"\\
'''Sikowitz:''' "Awh... Is a certain little redhead hoping she got a role in teacher's play?"\\
'''Cat:''' ''(adorably)'' "Heeheehee... She is..."\\
'''Sikowitz:''' "Well, she didn't."
** How could we have forgotten the entire scene of everyone helping set up for the play? There was Tori shredding the shirt Sinjin gave her, Cat spraying beast repellent in Andre's eyes (he needed help crying for the play), Cat accidentally shocking Jade, and more.

-->'''Mamaw''': MAURY! TURN UP THE HEAT!\\

--->Andre: "The woman's afraid of everything. People, umbrellas, rabbis, bikinis, breakfast foods..."
--->Tori: "So if she saw [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs a rabbi wearing a bikini eating pancakes...?]]"
--->Andre: "The woman would ''burst into flames''."

--->Cat: "My name's Cat."
--->Tori: "Oh, like the animal!"
--->Cat: "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?"
--->Tori: "...Nothing. I, I love cats."
--->Cat: "Me too, they're so cute!" -walks off-
** The group's Improvised practice, going alphabetically is made even funnier by Sikowitz's reactions:
--->Beck: "Apples are falling out of my butt."
--->Sikowitz: "Lovely. Now the next actor who speaks must start his line with the next letter in the alphabet; in this case B, so he might say..." (lays his hands on Andre's shoulders)
--->Andre: (playing along with Beck's humor) "Bring those apples, so that we all may enjoy the fresh fruit from Beck's butt."
-->Sikowitz: "[[SarcasmMode Charming.]]"

--->Rex: Paces!? Man, this girl's not a pirate!

--->Trina: "We'll I'mplode!"

-->Mamaw: "MAURY! TURN UP THE HEAT!"
-->Maury: "NO!"

--->Mamaw: "MAURY! ROBBIE'S SCREAMING AT ME!"
--->Maury: "I'M HUNGRY!"

-->Mamaw: "Why did you do that to your hair?"
-->Cat: "What? You mean the color"
-->Mamaw: "Do you hate your mother?"
-->Cat: "I love my mother!"
-->Mamaw: "A girl doesn't dye her hair that color unless she has psychological problems."
-->Cat: "My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems!"

'''Rex''': No! It's fair and balanced.

'''Tori:''' On Santa Claus.

'''Trina:''' ''[whines in embarrassment, and leaves]''

* This exchange between Andre and Tori
-->Andre: "The woman's afraid of everything. People, umbrellas, rabbis, bikinis, breakfast foods..."
-->Tori: "So if she saw [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs a rabbi wearing a bikini eating pancakes...?]]"
-->Andre: "The woman would ''burst into flames''."

-->Cat: "My name's Cat."
-->Tori: "Oh, like the animal!"
-->Cat: "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?"
-->Tori: "...Nothing. I, I love cats."
-->Cat: "Me too, they're so cute!" -walks off-

-->Beck: "Apples are falling out of my butt."
-->Sikowitz: "Lovely. Now the next actor who speaks must start his line with the next letter in the alphabet; in this case B, so he might say..." (lays his hands on Andre's shoulders)
-->Andre: (playing along with Beck's humor) "Bring those apples, so that we all may enjoy the fresh fruit from Beck's butt."

-->Rex: Paces!? Man, this girl's not a pirate!
* Robbie and Trina's Submarine scene
-->Trina: "We'll I'mplode!"
* When Tori is asking around the table for Birthweek present ideas for Trina:
-->Tori: Jade.
-->Jade: Yeah?
-->Tori: What should I get Trina?
-->Jade: Talent.
** It was funny when Trina was singing "You're the reason" off-key, it's funnier when the studio execs cut off the sound and all you can see are the motions.

* From ''Tori the Zombie:''
--> '''Jade:''' What up with the disco!?
--> '''Sinjin:''' I'm sorry! I hit the wrong thing!
--> '''Jade:''' ''No!'' 15 years ago your mother ''gave birth'' to the wrong thing!
** [[FridgeBrilliance Fridge Funny]] kicks in if you think about what that might be {{Bowdlerised}} from pre-production. [[spoiler:How about "15 years ago ''your dad hit the wrong thing''"?]]
* Cat and Trina's road trip rap.
** The full version, revealed to be "5 Fingaz To Tha Face", finally shows up in "Driving Tori Crazy".
* Trina throwing Rex across the classroom in ''Jade Dumps Beck''.
** Which was due in part to Robbie failing to get Andre's help with Trina's play review. Case in point:
---> '''Andre''': So it's okay if she kills ''me''?\\
'''Robbie''': She'll have a ''harder'' time killing you! You're all firm and developed, and ''I'm'' still working on the last chapter of puberty!\\
'''Rex''': And he is a ''slow'' reader.
** Tori and Jade are in the janitor's closet, trying to figure out a nice thing Jade can do to get Beck back. She recalls that he wants a dog, specifically a rottweiler.
--->'''Jade''': Okay, what's our next move?\\
'''Janitor''': ''[head poking out of the blanket he's apparently been sleeping under the whole time]'' Just get the boy a dog!\\
'''Tori''': ''[creeped-out look]'' Go, go out. ''[they hurriedly leave]'' Out now. Run--
* Rex again...
-->Robbie: Stop watching Fox News!
-->Rex: No! It's fair and balanced.

-->Beck: You juiced my pizza.
-->Cat: Why chew what you can DRINK?
-->(Robbie enters the scene in a natural, oblivious manner.)
-->Robbie: S'up, my peeps! How's everyone doing this fine day? (to Andre) Do you really need that much ketchup?

* From ''A Film By Dale Squires'':
--> '''Teacher:''' Tori, can you make your sister leave?
--> '''Tori:''' Trina, stop embarrassing me or I'm gonna embarrass you.
--> '''Trina:''' Don't threaten me!
--> '''Tori:''' When Trina was six, our family went to the mall just before Christmas-
--> '''Trina:''' DON'T SAY IT!
--> '''Tori:''' And she peed.
--> '''Trina:''' TORI!
--> '''Tori:''' On Santa Claus.
--> '''Trina:''' (whines in embarrassment, and leaves)
** The end of the episode when Andre's cousin Kendra [[CurbStompBattle lashes out at Dale and fends off the security guards]], while Mack Murphy laughs and continues recording.

** It was funny when Trina was singing "You're the reason" off key, it's funnier when the studio execs cut off the sound and all you can see are the motions.

* Trina throwing Rex across the classroom in ''Jade Dumps Beck''.
** Which was due in part to Robbie failing to get Andre's help with Trina's play review. Case in point:
--> '''Andre''': So it's okay if she kills ''me''?\\
'''Robbie''': She'll have a ''harder'' time killing you! You're all firm and developed, and ''I'm'' still working on the last chapter of puberty!\\
'''Rex''': And he is a ''slow'' reader.

--> '''Trina (to Beck)''' Hey Beck, amell my arm. No perfume. That's my natural scent.
--> '''Producers (later saying no to Trina)''' 'cause you reek of desperation.

This is where you describe all of Victorious's funny moments.