History Funny / UltimateSpiderMan2000

* Spider-Man, having just taken out Electro and the Enforcers, is confronted by Kingpin. When asked why he is going after Kingpin, Spider-Man responds that this is an important question, and he wrote down his answer because he wants to get it right. Spidey pulls out and unfolds a sheet of paper... and proceeds to read off a list of "you are so fat" jokes that send Kingpin into a rage.
** [[http://i.imgur.com/XxkSfvD.jpg Too funny]] [[http://i.imgur.com/shcVxjO.jpg to describe.]]
** The most hilarious part? His shirt collar pops when he lets out an angry roar.
*** [[IShallTauntYou And Spidey continues to taunt him as he charges!]]
--> Your belly button makes an echo. If you were a truck you would have a wide load sign. When you back up we can hear a beeping noise.

* ''ComicBook/SpiderVerse'' has a scene where Miles and the ''WesternAnimation/UltimateSpiderMan'' cartoon Spidey are being chased by the police. While driving in a sentient Spider-Mobile. With ''WesternAnimation/SpiderMan1967'' cartoon Spidey, the ComicBook/MiniMarvels Spidey and an unidentified Spidey hanging on for dear life with a cowboy Spidey riding a ''wall-crawling horse'' beside them. Miles declares that this is the point where his life [[JumpingTheShark jumped the shark]].

!!''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan'', the comic books

!!''VideoGame/UltimateSpiderMan'', the video game

* Spidey's OhCrap moment with Rhino: "I'm so scared I can't even finish my lame joke."
* After that, he gets thrown into a wall and says to the people "[[AmusingInjuries nothing's broken except my spine... and ribs... and everything else]]."
* Any of Spidey's reactions when he goes into the water and SuperDrowningSkills kick in:
-->''"Blub! ...did I just say 'blub'?"''
** While Venom doesn't speak much during gameplay, it's strangely amusing to note that he doesn't say a thing after falling in the water. He probably doesn't even care, given his HorrorHunger.
* At many points in the game, Spidey has to rescue innocent civilians caught in the crossfire of his fights. At one point, he does so while NOT in costume. Luckily, the construction worker he saves simply comes to the conclusion that Peter is a mutant. Unluckily, he's not excited about getting rescued by one.
-->'''Construction Worker:''' NO!\\
'''Peter:''' Mutants are people too!\\
'''Construction Worker:''' O-okay.\\
'''Peter:''' Say it!\\
'''Construction Worker:''' Mutants are people too!
* Venom eating a small child ''should not'' go here, under normal circumstances. However, said small child being a TakeThat to the children constantly losing their balloons in ''VideoGame/SpiderMan2'' makes this utterly hilarious, especially since the games use the same "Yay! Balloon!" audio for the child.
* While throwing cars around as Venom, chances are you will hear the person inside - letting out either LargeHam screams or a calmer "oh my!".
* A darker example would be Venom's different throws. One involves him simply lifting the enemy up, and ''smashing'' their face into the ground as hard as possible. Another is him applying pressure to the enemy's spine, before snapping it and impartially dropping them like nothing, and the last is him just throwing the opponent ''across a quarter of the whole damn city!'' It makes it even better if it's an EliteMook or a boss, as they just [[MadeOfIron get back up with absolutely no problem.]]
* A rather funny bit happens at the end of Spidey and Venom's final battle, where the webhead feeds his nemesis a NoHoldsBarredBeatdown before dusting off his hands... but Venom gets right back up, apparently undergoing a villainous second wind... only for Spidey to knock his ass out with one good uppercut that sends Venom tumbling onto his head.

** In that same issue, one of the kidnappers gets angry with the pop-star's manager (the person they're negotiating a ransom with) because the guy apparently [[WhatAnIdiot doesn't know what the word "posthumous" means]].

* At the end of the second story arc, Peter decides to invite Mary Jane over to his house and tell her his secret - that he's Spider-Man. And he does. MJ's response? Stunned silence...followed by ''laughing her ass off'', even to the point of falling off the bed from laughing too hard!

-->'''Peter:''' God! You know why people hate you? It's not because you're mutants!! [[ClusterBleepBomb It's because you're all a bunch of [=@#$@#$ $@$%@ ##@$!! That's why!! You $^$%^ $%^$ $^$%^ $%#^% #$ $% ^#$%^ $%%^!!!=]]] AAAGGHHH! ''(swings off)''\\

-->''(Spidey wakes up in the X-Men's mansion)''
-->'''Spider-Man:''' You took off my mask?!!
-->'''Beast:''' We wanted to make sure you were still breathing.
-->'''Spider-Man:''' Man! I am trying to keep a secret identity here!! No one respects my secret identity!! No one!! One secret! That's all I want. I want to put on the mask and keep it on!! And every time I turn around someone somewhere finds out I'm Peter Parker!
-->''(The X-Men snigger)''
-->'''Shadowcat:''' We, uh, we didn't know your name.
-->''(Peter buries his head in his hands)''

-->'''Iceman:''' Hey, don't I know you?
-->'''Peter:''' No, you don't.
-->'''Iceman:''' Yeah I do, you're--
-->'''Peter:''' ''(meaningful glare)'' We've never met.
-->'''Iceman:''' But--
-->'''Peter:''' DUDE.

-->''(Kitty has phased through Shocker's weapons, breaking them)''
-->'''Kitty Pryde:''' Whatever you do... Don't look behind you.
-->''(Spider-Man is on the wall behind the Shocker)''
-->'''Spider-Man:''' Hi, Herman.
-->'''Shocker: AIIEEE!!!'''
-->''(Shocker flees, and runs straight into a web)''

'''Elektra:''' ''(smirks, gives an {{aside glance}})''

'''Miles:''' [[{{Invisibility}} Puh-leeze]]. ''(leaves)''\\

-->'''Batroc:''' ''(after one of his henchmen nearly shoots him while trying to hit Miles, who's on Batroc's back)'' Moron!! Do you plan on getting ''paid??'' Then stop ''shooting'' at me!!\\

''(awkward Thunderball pulls away, but whistles at her beauty)''

** In that same issue one of the kidnappers gets angry with the pop-star's manager (the person they're negotiating a ransom with) because the guy apparently [[WhatAnIdiot doesn't know what the word "posthumous" means]].

-->'''Dagger''': You're under arrest, Bombshell!
-->'''Cloak''': You can't arrest her, Dagger.
-->'''Dagger''': You know what I mean.
-->'''Cloak''': But you can't arrest...
-->'''Dagger''': She's the bad guy.
-->'''Cloak''': We're not cops.

-->'''Bombshell''': What the swear word is with you two?

--->'''Gwen''': [[ClingyJealousGirl Who the hell are all these skanks?]]

* [[http://i.imgur.com/noFj1Jp.jpg Black Cat throwing up on Spider-Man]] [[http://i.imgur.com/2CIHKMG.jpg after realizing that he's way younger than her.]] What adds to this is how right before this, she was flirting heavily with him, saying she was going to take off his mask and kiss him. Once she unmasks him, Peter puckers up and leans in for the kiss, completely unaware of how she is know horrified and disgusted.

-->'''Firefighter''': Told you Spider-Man was black.

* Miles is proving to be quite the smart ass, much like Peter.

* [[http://i.imgur.com/noFj1Jp.jpg Black Cat throwing up on Spider-Man]] [[http://i.imgur.com/2CIHKMG.jpg after realizing that he's way younger than her.]]

--> [[http://www.readysettroll.com/articles/images/8242-10-best-spider-man-insults-2.jpg Your belly button makes an echo. If you were a truck you would have a wide load sign. When you back up we can hear a beeping noise.]]

-->'''Batroc:''' ''(after one of his henchmen nearly shoots him while trying to hit Miles, who's on Batroc's back)'' Moron!! Do you plan on getting ''paid??'' Then stop ''shooting'' at me!!
-->'''Miles:''' Where do you ''get'' these guys?
-->'''Batroc:''' You would not believe what I turned away.

* Venom eating a small child ''should not'' go here, under normal circumstances. However, said small child being a TakeThat [[DarthWiki/MostAnnoyingSound to the children constantly losing their balloons]] in ''VideoGame/SpiderMan2'' makes this utterly hilarious, especially since the games use the same "Yay! Balloon!" audio for the child.

* Venom eating a small child ''should not'' go here, under normal circumstances. However, said small child being a TakeThat [[MostAnnoyingSound to the children constantly losing their balloons]] in ''VideoGame/SpiderMan2'' makes this utterly hilarious, especially since the games use the same "Yay! Balloon!" audio for the child.