History Funny / TrueLies

* As the [[TranquilFury stone faced and silent]] Harry tails Helen's meeting with Simon, Gib just '''had''' to rub it from the side by quipping ''"If I were you and you were me you'd be laughing your ass off!"'' causing him to grip his binoculars ''so'' hard that the ''right lens '''cracks''''' the way the glasses of a Romantic Comedy Anime protagonist would spontaneously crack in jealous anger.

* During the striptease scene, Harry has the taped dialogue asking Helen to dance. After she starts an out-of-place dance, the next message is "No no no, dance ''sexy''." Harry correctly predicted she would dance like a goofball and had pre-recorded dialogue to compensate for it.

** When Aziz lays eyes on Harry in the harrier jet, the BigBad pulls a "WTF?!?" expression for the ages.

** Aziz fires at Gib, whose only cover is a light post. He turns to hide behind it, and the bullets can clearly be seen striking both the post and the area around it, but somehow managed to miss Gib entirely despite the fact that he clearly sticks out from both the front and back.

---> '''Harry:''' Now what the hell were you thinking? I mean, I had the guy, and you let him get away. ''(horse looks away; Harry pulls it back)'' Look at me when I'm talking to you. What kind of a cop are you, anyway?
** By the way, that last scene merits a funny moment all its own. Aziz does a crazy stunt that involves leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper on his motorcycle. Harry tries to follow, but that horse just isn't having it, and almost dumps him over the edge! You can just hear the horse thinking "are you CRAZY?!"

--> '''Harry:''' All right, and make it happen quick because my horse is getting tired.\\

-->'''Harry:''' (grabs Gib by his shirt) ''Will you '''stop''' cheering me '''up?!'''''

--> '''Gib''': I say we concentrate on work. That's how I always got through it whenever my life turned to dogshit. We're gonna catch some terrorists, we're gonna beat the crap out of 'em, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better.

--> '''Gib''': (bored tone) Get lost, dipshit.

--> '''Woman:''' (gritted teeth) Say something!\\

--> '''Harry:''' Now what the hell were you thinking? I mean, I had the guy, and you let him get away. ''(horse looks away; Harry pulls it back)'' Look at me when I'm talking to you. What kind of a cop are you, anyway?

--> '''Faisil''': Okay, files are unlocked. I'm in. I'm down, baby. I got my hand up her dress and I'm going for the gold-\\
'''Gib''': ''(interrupting)'' Just copy the goddamn files, okay?

--> '''Harry''': Sure. Here's my invitation. ''(pushes a button, blowing up a bomb nearby that he planted earlier)''

* The final line in the movie, after Gib is annoyed that Harry and Helen ignored him over the earpiece while on mission:

** As Helen is readying to shoot, Harry is busy struggling with another mook; when Helen's dropped gun starts to spray fire everywhere, Harry ''and'' the mook stop their fight and run for cover. On top of that, several mooks come around the corner, see the falling gun, and [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat immediately try to run back (and get shot doing so)]].

** Later, Aziz leaps onto the Harrier and wrestles with Harry for control of the jet. As the jet spins around in mid-air, it passes by a janitor cleaning a room in another part of the building, completely oblivious to what's going on. The jet ends up slamming tail first into said room, launching Aziz backwards, landing crotchfirst on the jet's tailfin.

** At one point Harry asks a servant (in Arabic) where the bathroom is. Subtitles translate this as "Where's the bathroom? I need to take a major leak." Below that, a secondary subtitle that reads "([[FunWithSubtitles perfect Arabic]])"

** When Harry gives directions to Gib to get backup to catch Aziz:
--> '''Harry:''' All right, and make it happen quick, because my horse is getting tired.\\

--> '''Woman''' [gritted teeth]: Say something!\\

** Even funnier is this story comes at the end of Gib trying to make Harry feel ''better'' about his wife cheating on him.
--> ''Will you '''stop''' cheering me '''up?!'''''

** Their reaction to Simon taking credit for Harry's shootout with Aziz at the mall. They can't believe the gall of it and even Harry admits it's ActuallyPrettyFunny that a scammer's lying to his wife about what her husband did.

'''Gib''': So sex with him isn't exactly waving your flag any more?\\

** Simon's confession in same scene:

** What makes this funnier is that Gib has been shown to be a sort of bumbling sidekick next to the awesome that is Schwarzenegger, but then he shoots at Simon and deliberately misses with such indifference you can tell he's really competent with a gun.

* During the striptease scene, Harry has the taped dialogue asked Helen to dance. After she starts an out-of-place dance, the next message is "No no no, dance sexy." Harry correctly predicted she would dance like a goofball and pre-recorded dialogue to compensate for it.

** Towards the end, Harry tries to be romantic, but Helen has no idea it's him and decks him with the phone. After kicking him a couple times, she retains the presence of mind to complete her assigned mission, going back to plant the bug on the phone.

-->(mook nervously lowers camera and Aziz stops, throwing his hands up in a "What gives?" motion)\\

'''Aziz''': Shh! (''raises silencing hand and shoos him away in annoyance'')\\

'''Harry:''' ''*holds up his hands*'' [[BreakingTheBonds I picked them.]]\\

* The chase over the bridge; one of the harrier pilots, before firing at the bridge to take out Aziz's convoy and prevent them reaching the mainland with the second nuke, asks if there is a danger that they might set off the warhead. Harry reassures the pilot that it won't go off...but then throws Gib a look as if to say, "How the hell do I know?!?"
** Ironically, [[ShownTheirWork this is one of the few times in film that nuclear weapons being shot at is portrayed correctly]]. The engineering and science involved in just building a nuke means that it will only go off in the way it is designed to. Burning it, shooting it, or detonating explosives next to it will not do the trick, and will in fact render the nuke a dud by damaging either the internal circuitry or the detonation mechanism itself.

** The second terrorist truck avoids getting blown up when the bridge gets taken out, but is left precariously dangling over the edge. The driver and his surviving bad guys start laughing at their good fortune... only to watch a pelican [[OhCrap nonchalantly fly onto the dashboard]]. The weight differential is enough to tip the truck off the bridge[[note]]Relax, the pelican is able to fly away unharmed.[[/note]] and explode in the debris below. Basically: Death By Pelican.

** Speaking of Juno, her "Oh, ''shit''." just moments before the limo drives off the bridge.
* The entire Harrier sequence in Miami is comedic gold.