History Funny / TheTerminator

'''Terminator:''' [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you, asshole.]]

''[The Terminator turns its head to face the door, and pulls up a dialogue tree with a list of potential responses: "Yes/No"; "Or what?"; "Go away"; "Please come back later"; "Fuck you, asshole"; and "Fuck you"''. After a few seconds, it selects "Fuck you, asshole"]''\\

* As if to top off the above scene, as the Terminator leaves the hotel, stoically walking through the hall armed with a large rifle, a man passing by exclaims "God ''dayum!''"
* Ginger's boyfriend Matt calls their apartment and Sarah answers the phone. Thinking that Ginger answered, Matt starts having [[IntimateTelecommunications phone sex]] with her, whispering, "''First I'm gonna rip the buttons off your blouse one by one...''" Sarah quickly realises who it is and tries not to burst out laughing as she lets him continue for about half a minute before flatly demanding, "Who ''is'' this?" Embarrassed, Matt apologises and politely asks for Ginger. Then, when Ginger gets on the phone he starts over in the exact same tone as before: "''First I'm gonna rip the buttons off your blouse one by one...''"

---> "Hey, just what you see, pal!"

''[The Terminator turns its head to face the door, and pulls up a dialogue tree with a list of potential responses: "Yes/No"; "Or what?"; "Go away"; "Please come back later"; "Fuck you, asshole"; and "Fuck you"''. After a few seconds, it selects "Fuck you, asshole"]''

--> '''Landlord''': Hey, buddy. You got a dead cat in there or what?
-->''(the Terminator turns its head to face the door, its vision showing a dialogue tree with a list of responses: "Yes/No"; "Or what?"; "Go away"; "Please come back later"; "Fuck you, asshole"; and "Fuck you"''. The Terminator selects "Fuck you, asshole")
--> '''Terminator:''' [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you, asshole.]]

--> "Look at it this way: in a hundred years, who's gonna care?"

--> "Cyborgs don't feel pain. I do. Don't do that again."

* Silberman and Vukovich dickishly enjoy themselves a little too much during Reese's interrogation, but Silberman does produce several cracking lines: Skynet is attempting some sort of "retroactive abortion" and "why didn't you bring... ray guns"

--> "I didn't build the fucking thing!"

-->'''Terminator:''' ''(absolutely deadpan, in the trademark Ahnold accent)'' I'm a friend of Sarah Connor's. I was told that she was here. Could I see her, please?

--->'''T-800:''' ''(after slow, deliberate survey)'' I'll be back.

-->'''Terminator:''' ''(absolutely deadpan, in the trademark Ahnold accent)'' I'm a friend of Sarah Connor's I was told that she was here Could I see her please?

*** A small one, but the landlord's response to this? A nonchalant shake of his head.

* Kyle Reese holds someone up at gunpoint to find out what the date is.
-->'''Reese''': What. Day is it? The Date!
-->'''Policeman''': 12th, May, Thursday
-->'''Reese (yelling)''': What year?!
-->'''Policeman''': What?

--> '''Landlord''': Hey, buddy. You got a dead cat in there, or what?
-->''(the Terminator turns its head to face the door, its vision showing a dialogue tree with a list of responses: "Yes/No"; "Or what?"; "Go away"; "Please come back later"; "Fuck you, asshole"; and "Fuck you"''. The Terminator chooses "Fuck you, asshole")

* Also for Ginger: the girl ''never'' takes off her headphones. Even to have sex with Matt. Granted, this trait [[SexSignalsDeath gets her into trouble later...]] but it's funny up until then.

* The drunk complaining to the police that Reese stole his pants.
* Traxler's YourMom comeback after Vukovich casually insults his looks.
* Meta example: The reason for the infamously poor stop motion animation of the Terminator's endoskeleton at the end? The visual effects team made it out of steel, [[FailedASpotCheck not realizing how heavy and difficult to operate this would make it.]] [[DidntThinkThisThrough Oops.]]

* Also for Ginger: the girl ''never'' takes off her headphones. Even to have sex with Matt. Granted, this trait [[DeathBySex gets her into trouble later...]] but it's funny up until then.

* The amused punks teasing the T-800 in the beginning:

'''T-800''': Nice night for a walk.\\
'''Punk 2''': Wash day tomorrow, nothing clean, right?\\
'''T-800''': Nothing clean. Right.\\

'''T-800''': [[MoodWhiplash Your clothes. Give them to me. Now.]]\\
'''Punk leader''': Fuck you, asshole!

* The T-800's DialogueTree options to respond to the landlord complaining about the smell, from which this exchange occurs:

-->''(the T-800 turns its head to face the door, its vision showing a dialogue tree with the following options for responses: "Yes/No"; "Or what?"; "Go away"; "Please come back later"; "Fuck you, asshole"; and "Fuck you"''. The Terminator chooses "Fuck you, asshole")
--> '''T-800:''' [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you, asshole.]]

* As if to top off the above scene, as the T-800 leaves the hotel, stoically walking through the hall armed with a large rifle, a man who was passing by exclaims "God ''dayum!''"
* Sarah's friend Matt calls her thinking it's his girlfriend Ginger (who lives with Sarah) and has [[IntimateTelecommunications phone sex]] with her. Sarah decides to mess with him at first and then seriously asks who this is. Matt, clearly embarrassed politely asks for Ginger, to which Sarah obliges. Then when Ginger is on the phone he repeats the exact same following line in the exact same tone.
--> '''Matt:''' First I'm gonna rip the buttons of your blouse one by one.

-->'''T-800:''' ''(absolutely deadpan, in the trademark Ahnold accent)'' I'm a friend of Sarah Connor's I was told that she was here Could I see her please?

** The shopkeeper seeing the T-800 trying to apply a BallisticDiscount and telling him he can't do that. The T-800 replies, "Wrong," before blowing him away. This was technically true, as the T-800 ''[[MathematiciansAnswer could]]'' shoot him.
* The scene of The T-800 ripping its eye out becomes funny when after covering it with its shades, it adjusts its hair in the mirror before going out to try to kill Reese and Sarah once again.

* After being run over by a truck, the T-800 disposes of the driver when he worriedly goes to check on it and commandeers the vehicle. It then turns toward the passenger, its human disguise completely mangled by this point, and tells him to {{get out}}. [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere The passenger wastes little to no time in complying]].

* As if to top off the above scene, as the T-800 leaves the hotel, a man who was passing by exclaims "God Dayum!".

-->'''T-800''': ''(absolutely deadpan, in the trademark Ahnold accent)'' I'm a friend of Sarah Connor's I was told that she was here Could I see her please?
*** The fact that it even says please makes it even funnier. Skynet may be genocidal, but it knows how to program manners!

-->'''T-800'': ''(after slow, deliberate survey)'' I'll be back.

--> "Hey, just what you see, pal!"