History Funny / TheSecretWorld

-->'''Note''':I'm coming for you [[{{Facebook}} Zuckerberg]], and I'm bringing the fury.

* When investigating a suspicious agent for the Illuminati, you can read a memo on his laptop about the [[ThisLoserIsYou "new recruits"]] who all have [[LampshadeHanging questionable fashion sense and wander around with blank stares]].

** "Fierce Competition" delivers one of the funniest moments in all of Tokyo. While trying to decide on wether to claim the bounty on a corpse who wasn't killed by the House-In-Exile, Inbeda observes that the victim was lacerated to death with a single killing blow. There's a pause, and the Mask puts on a very bad American accent and translates, "Looks like this fellow... (Inbeda puts [[GlassesPull a pair of sunglasses on]] over the mask) ... didn't make the cut. [[CSIMiami Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh!]]" And Inbeda accuses you of being "culturally ignorant" for not appreciating this!

* The Golden Week's prizes, rewards and discounted outfits. In the event that you don't want to shell out 1200 points for a gold silk tuxedo and bowtie - downgraded from its normal price of ''12000 points'' - you can try out the High Roller's Valise and end up with things like a velour tracksuit with bling, a gold silk lounge robe, an Elvis-style rhinestone jumpsuit, a stripper's outfit, or a ''platinum tuxedo.'' Or, if you're really determined or lucky, a golden golem - or a miniature Jinn in a monocle and top hat.

* Ricky Pagan... just [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ7qA9RdpcI Ricky Pagan]]

-->'''Sonnac:''' Sometimes I feel like a character in a RoaldDahl novel, rather than a crusader fighting to preserve the world from the grasp of indescribable evil.

* Some clever players have learnt they can perform emotes during cutscenes, naturally they [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnfjB6zXPGs exploited this.]]

--> If... If I were to make a word for word translation of my master's outburst, [[BrownNote your bowels would boil and the walls would bleed]]. Instead let me just say that Inbeda would be happy to string every member of the Jingu Clan on a single length of barbed wire - in the mouth and out the anus - [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon to form a crude human centipede which he would use as a mount. The samurai and the Oni... [[{{Understatement}} they do not get along]].

* During "The Bank Heist", Daimon Kiyota has you rob an important item from, where else, an abandoned bank...and once you're in, he starts giving you some ''[[CloudCuckoolander unique]]'' instructions, such as tearing off a security bot's arm to access the network, cartwheeling to thwart a laser wall, and his grant scheme of thwarting the pressure plates...''moonwalking''. [[ItAmusedMe At the end of it, he admits to watching through the camera feed to show his employees]]. Even better, if you work for the Illuminati, Geary is ''absolutely furious'' you didn't actually take any money in the process of bank theft, [[CardCarryingVillain because it reflects poorly on her image as greedy scum.]]

->'''Note''':I'm coming for you [[{{Facebook}} Zuckerberg]], and I'm bringing the fury.

* Despite the "Nightmares in the Dream Palace" story mission being fairly heavy there is that moment where you participate in a dance-off against Ricky Pagan. ItMakesSenseInContext but the contrast between this and the rest of the mission is quite amusing.

* Despite the Nightmares in the Dream Palace story mission being fairly heavy there is that moment where you participate in a dance-off against Ricky Pagan. ItMakesSenseInContext but the contrast between this and the rest of the mission is quite amusing.

* The League of Monster Hunters' book on local monsters: amongst other things, it includes entries on Headmaster Montag and Ms Usher.

--> Bolon Yok,te What? Did you not get the ocpmay-wide memo about the hodliday party/ uGH. i'M ASSming youd did good out there. Which means I didn good. bottoms up!

** Her drunk-text response in to your completing the new years dungeon:

--> (The Lantern Man) I think the Templars still rent out their chained Rakshasa for cosmetic testing. Imagine a room full of those faces made up like Martha Stewart. Great, I'm due for a skin peel later on, and now all I'm going to think about is Martha Stewart.

* Kirsten Geary nothing; she's got nothing on the Illuminati's highest of high-ups, The Pyramidion. The 'All-Seeing Eye' speaks only half the time in lines of relevant dialogue. The other half alternates between P.A. announcements (if you're in The Labyrinth) or context-relevant memes... like a boss.

-->'''Pyramidion:''' I didn't expect you to pull through that one. Who's awesome? ''You're'' awesome. Who is not awesome is whoever leaked the details of this deal to the Templars. He will never have a girlfriend.
-->'''Pyramidion:''' Do not lose him, or Christmas is cancelled.
-->'''Pyramidion:''' This place used to be on our list of exotic weekend getaways for the Friday raffle, until Venice decided to shut it all down. In their defense, that was after one hundred and thirty-two accidental deaths, and some mad wizard who tried to use the power of Shambala to get back at his ex-girlfriend and also reduce most of Western Europe to cinders. Bad breakup.
-->'''Pyramidion: '''([[OOCIsSeriousBusiness ominously]]) Follow my directions, and tell no one of this. I will destroy you. [[MoodWhiplash Just look at all these fucks I give]].
-->'''Pyramidion:''' If you continue to be useful, then BFF's forever. [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Blazers and jeans are only permissible with the proper footwear.]]

** After finishing issue 7, you get a very brief mission in which you have to follow the coordinates to an emmisary and recieve a reward for your hard work. Finishing this mission results in another gloriously sarcastic email from Geary, summed up as "Congratuations, you know how to go from A to B. I'm so fucking proud of you."

** "As I would tell parents- before I was retired from the reparation comittee- you cannot vivisect a ghoul without breaking a few legs!"

* Said, an Ancient Egyptian mummy who's reinvented himself as a yuppie. His introduction in "The High Cost Of Dying", in which he casually takes a photo of you with his smartphone.
** "Ever banished a minor deity? Could be downright educational for you, a real oportunity; I should charge for this. (beat) Alright, it's on the house. [[BlatantLies You're killing me.]]"
** "This fracas is going to cost. Not us, of course; we'll find a way to turn the country's devastation to a loss leader. TooSoon? Don't think of me as heartless: it's shrivelled to the size of a wallnut, but I still have it rattling around here ''somewhere..."''

** Pretty much ''everything'' Said and Nassir say to each other in the final mision-chain of Last Train to Cairo is hilarious.

* For once, both Geary and Sonnac have equally hilarious responses - in this case, their "You killed ''what?"'' reaction to the Gilded Rage event and it's Golden Golem boss.
-->'''Geary:''' It's like Paris Hilton and Snoop Lion teamed up to do some [[{{Golem}} geomancy]]. Shit I'd better make sure her hypnotherapist hasn't been mindfucking her [[NoodleIncident again]]. As for you, nice work saving the world from Blingzilla.
-->'''Sonnac:''' Sometimes I feel like a character in a RoaldDahl novel, rather than a crusader fighting to preserve the world from the grasp of indescribable evil.

* The Frosty Tentacle Topper- given as a freebie to subscribers in December 2012. A top hat strung with long blue tentacles and surrounded by a perpetual rain of snowflakes.