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** Stone found the occult section of the Library. Unfortunately...
-->'''Stone''': ''[rips piles of cobwebs off of himself]'' By the way, ''it's infested with spiders!''
-->'''Jenkins''': Ah. Well, spiders ''are'' our garden friends, Mr. Stone...
-->'''Stone''': Jenkins, ''they're three feet long!''
-->'''Jenkins''': I see. I'll order some bug spray.

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** Ezekiel adopts a gargoyle (named Stumpy) after looking it in the eyes. It behaves like a puppy and moves around just like the Weeping Angels.
-->'''Jenkins:''' I told you not to look them in the eyes. Now you'll never be rid of it!
-->'''Ezekiel:''' Hey!(covers Stumpy's ears) Don't talk like that in front of him!
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-->'''''WHAT?!'''''

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-->'''''WHAT?!'''''-->'''Cassandra:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAT?!]]'''''

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-->'''''WHAT?!'''''



** Ezekiel and Stone driving across a campus while Ezekiel spouts off how great he is in order to draw the attention of a monster that feeds off pride. Made funnier in that everything Ezekiel say's is something he truly believes which includes the ability to beat Stone in a fight and to get with Eve if he wanted to.

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** Ezekiel and Stone driving across a campus while Ezekiel spouts off how great he is in order to draw the attention of a monster that feeds off pride. Made funnier in that everything Ezekiel say's says is something he truly believes which includes the ability to beat Stone in a fight and to get with Eve if he wanted to.
** Ezekiel goes on and on about how he's better at stuff than Stone, which Stone is forced to agree to. He only argues when Ezekiel claimed to be a better singer than him.
** Hardass Stone going total GenkiGirl after meeting a Professor Bankroft, a man whom he looks up to.
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** Ezekiel and Stone driving across a campus while Ezekiel spouts off how great he is in order to draw the attention of a monster that feeds off pride. Made funnier in that everything Ezekiel say's is something he truly believes which includes the ability to beat Stone in a fight and to get with Eve if he wanted to.
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* Jenkins is frozen in a block of ice. The Librarians are trying to decide whether they should melt him or whether he should be magically thawed. Eve just whacks the ice and shatters it.
-->'''Eve:''' What? The job's not all about obscure knowledge, people.

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* "And the Cost of Education":
** Baird cannot get over the fact that the students of Wexler College are deluded enough to think that their football team can beat Michigan State.
** Cassandra's reaction when she realizes that the oblivious cheerleaders are using a dark magic chant as their cheer.
** Cassandra and Jones infiltrate a secretive fraternity and discover that their "dark ritual" is just beerpong.
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*** Her sheer joy/relief after sharing her hatred for babies.

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*** ** Her sheer joy/relief after sharing her hatred for babies.
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-->'''Cassandra:''' I stole sheet music of ''Aladdin'' to my grade-school music class! / I have an irrational fear of ravioli. / I always wanted to be Vietnamese. / I hate babies. Like, I ''HATE'' them! / *excited* ....And as I watched the light go out of his eyes...

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-->'''Cassandra:''' I stole sheet music of ''Aladdin'' to my grade-school music class! / I have an irrational fear of ravioli. / I always wanted to be Vietnamese. / I hate babies. Like, I ''HATE'' them! / *excited* ....''excited'' ...And as I watched the light go out of his eyes...
*** Her sheer joy/relief after sharing her hatred for babies.
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I double checked, and yeah, they had to keep telling the truth.


** There's a door that is only opened when truths are shared. Cassandra and Jones have to keep it open, so Cassandra tells a bunch of lies to keep it from closing:
-->'''Cassandra:''' I stole sheet music of ''Aladdin'' to my grade-school music class! / I have an irrational fear of ravioli. / I always wanted to be Vietnamese. / I hate babies. Like, I ''HATE'' them!

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** There's a door that is only opened when truths are shared. Cassandra and Jones have to keep it open, so Cassandra tells shares a bunch of lies secrets to keep it from closing:
-->'''Cassandra:''' I stole sheet music of ''Aladdin'' to my grade-school music class! / I have an irrational fear of ravioli. / I always wanted to be Vietnamese. / I hate babies. Like, I ''HATE'' them!
them! / *excited* ....And as I watched the light go out of his eyes...
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* From ''And What Lies Beneath the Stones'':
** There's a door that is only opened when truths are shared. Cassandra and Jones have to keep it open, so Cassandra tells a bunch of lies to keep it from closing:
-->'''Cassandra:''' I stole sheet music of ''Aladdin'' to my grade-school music class! / I have an irrational fear of ravioli. / I always wanted to be Vietnamese. / I hate babies. Like, I ''HATE'' them!
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** The team works out that it's the thread that's powering the labyrinth, and they need to get it to stop the murders.
--->'''Baird''': We need to get that thread.
--->'''Ezekiel''': Have I mentioned I'm a world-class thief?
--->'''Baird''': '''''Relentlessly.'''''
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** Jenkins coming to the rescue with the Back Door.
-->'''Jenkins''': ''[looking at the group upside down through the door]'' I'll be damned, I did ''not'' think that would work with a cabinet door!
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* From "The Drowned Book":
** The team's proposed solution to the megastorm over NYC include Thor's hammer and Zeus's thunderbolt. They finally go with the second sun that they have in the sunroom.
-->'''Jenkins''': What else would one store in the sunroom?
-->'''Baird''': Eh...magazines, comfy chairs, mimosas?
** Flynn runs down a long line of doors, trying to find the sunroom.
-->'''Flynn''': ''[opens a door, gets snow in his face]'' Frozen land of giants... ''[tries the next one to the sound of monkeys]'' Lost jungle kingdom... ''[tries the next one and hear buzzing]'' '''''Hive of giant bees!'''''
-->'''Baird''': ''Why do we even have that door?''
** Baird asks Flynn what happens if their plan doesn't work.
-->'''Flynn''': You and I get incinerated and New York drowns.
-->'''Baird''': ''[{{beat}}]'' Sucky pep talk!

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* The normal cover of "We're the librarians." fails because they're in an actual library. Later the girl who has a book they need will only give it to them for a bribe.
* Baird noting that "And the Broken Staff" marks the third time the library has been broken into.
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--> '''Baird''': That's im''probable''.
--> '''Alt!Flynn''': Actually, that could....
--> '''Baird''': "That's enough of you!

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** To say nothing of Baird's reaction to Alt!Ezekiel.
--> '''Baird''': Please tell me you and I weren't together.
--> '''Alt!Ezekiel''': What? Oh, no, no, no.
--> '''Baird''': (relieved) Oh thank god.
--> '''Alt!Ezekiel''': You were like a mother to me.
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* Flynn and Jones have a nasty encounter with Frankenstein's Monster but get out of the situation by suggesting, in a all seriousness, that the Monster consider getting plastic surgery and pursuing an athletic career. Jones even introduces the guy to Tinder!

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* Flynn and Jones have a nasty encounter with Frankenstein's Monster but get out of the situation by suggesting, in a all seriousness, that the Monster consider getting plastic surgery and pursuing an athletic career. Jones even introduces the guy to Tinder!
Tinder! This is after Flynn's suggestion to show the Monster some friendship and "hug it out for humanity" falls flat.

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!!Season 1




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!!Season 2

* Flynn and Jones have a nasty encounter with Frankenstein's Monster but get out of the situation by suggesting, in a all seriousness, that the Monster consider getting plastic surgery and pursuing an athletic career. Jones even introduces the guy to Tinder!
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* Flynn calls Excalibur "Cal."
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* Flynn calls Excalibur "Cal."
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** [[NorseMythology Odin]] and Santa? Same guy. Who gets into a bar fight with some Canadians.

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** [[NorseMythology [[Myth/NorseMythology Odin]] and Santa? Same guy. Who gets into a bar fight with some Canadians.
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** At the end of the episode, the Librarians are walking off and the Sheriff and his daughter have this exchange.
--->'''Amy''': Dad? Who are those people?
--->'''Sheriff''': They're Librarians, honey.
--->'''Amy''': ''[{{beat}}]'' Librarians?
--->'''Sheriff''': Wow. Now that I say that out loud, [[LampshadeHanging that does not make any sense at all.]]
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* Stone's absolute delight at Flynn having a flying sword.


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*** And then the instant the bad guys aren't watching him, Stone [[DivingSave frantically]] retrieves the statuette he'd just been juggling and reverently places it back on its pedestal, because he'd never have forgiven himself if he ''really'' broke one.

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*** And then the instant the bad guys aren't watching him, Stone [[DivingSave [[DesperateObjectCatch frantically]] retrieves the statuette he'd just been juggling and reverently places it back on its pedestal, because he'd never have forgiven himself if he ''really'' broke one.
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-->'''Jenkins:''' ... I have jasmine tea.
-->'''Mr. Drake:''' Ooooh, jasmine tea, lovely!

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-->'''Jenkins:''' ... I have jasmine tea.
-->'''Mr. Drake:''' Drake, genuinely pleased:''' Ooooh, jasmine tea, lovely!
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* The interrogation room when they find a suspect? It's a bad art decoration, on a stage twelve times its size.
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*** FridgeBrilliance: It gets better. HE'S ROBIN HOOD! Sheriff after him, helps people who need it?

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*** FridgeBrilliance: It gets better. HE'S ROBIN HOOD! Sheriff after him, helps people who need it? ** Of course. He's Jack, TheFool!
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** Oh. And the Sheriff? Ends up becoming half the Sheriff of Nottingha, half THE BIG BAD WOLF!

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