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** "Directed by [[PunnyName B. Eagle? Beagle?!]] So [[{{Peanuts}} Snoopy]] directed this?! Well, now we know it's gonna have great aerial battles!"
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Changed line(s) 351 (click to see context) from:
* Upon seeing a random animation scene of ''Homoti'': "They're trying to make the credits for ''Film/CasinoRoyale''!" Cue "You Know My Name" over the CG.
to:
* Upon seeing a random animation scene of ''Homoti'': "They're trying to make the credits for ''Film/CasinoRoyale''!" ''[[Film/CasinoRoyale2006 Casino Royale]]''!" Cue "You Know My Name" over the CG.
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Changed line(s) 146 (click to see context) from:
* The executives order all the FoundFootage to be destroyed. "On second thought, just stick it in a vault next to TheDayTheClownCried."
to:
* The executives order all the FoundFootage to be destroyed. "On second thought, just stick it in a vault next to TheDayTheClownCried.Film/TheDayTheClownCried."
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Changed line(s) 231 (click to see context) from:
* "Imagine how many Oscars ''KramerVsKramer ''wouldn't'' have won if it was about a corpse!"
to:
* "Imagine how many Oscars ''KramerVsKramer ''Film/KramerVsKramer ''wouldn't'' have won if it was about a corpse!"
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Changed line(s) 143 (click to see context) from:
* "Aw shit! They just found [[TheBlairWitchProject Heather Donahue pissing in the woods]] again." She sees a spider and screams. "Oh wait, never mind. It's just [[IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom Willie Scott]]."
to:
* "Aw shit! They just found [[TheBlairWitchProject [[Film/TheBlairWitchProject Heather Donahue pissing in the woods]] again." She sees a spider and screams. "Oh wait, never mind. It's just [[IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom Willie Scott]]."
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Changed line(s) 396 (click to see context) from:
* His amusement when [[TheLifeAndTimesOfGrizzlyAdams Dan Haggerty's]] character points out the ridiculousness of the occult section being in aisle 666.
to:
* His amusement when [[TheLifeAndTimesOfGrizzlyAdams [[Series/TheLifeAndTimesOfGrizzlyAdams Dan Haggerty's]] character points out the ridiculousness of the occult section being in aisle 666.
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Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
'''Snob''': "Hey, they're ''almost'' playing the theme from ''Series/PeterGunn''."
to:
** The ''Film/CannibalHolocaust'' theme makes another appearance, this time over Babs' trailer burning down.
Deleted line(s) 218 (click to see context) :
** The ''Film/CannibalHolocaust'' theme makes another appearance, this time over Babs' trailer burning down.
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* The Snob's comments about the in-universe No Wave band The Roosters, saying that "their music is so Punk, that even their ''snot'' is pierced!", Calling them "[[Music/SexPistols The Sucks Pistols]]" and the similar bass line in the practice scene.
'''Snob''': "Hey, they're ''almost'' playing the theme from ''Series/PeterGunn''."
'''Snob''': "Hey, they're ''almost'' playing the theme from ''Series/PeterGunn''."
Changed line(s) 212 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:''' What? This isn't shit, it's a candy bar. ''That'' was shit. Grow up, please.
to:
-->'''Snob:''' What? "What? This isn't shit, it's a candy bar. ''That'' was shit. Grow up, please."
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-->'''Snob''': "Look at it like this Snob, [[TakeThat still better than]] ''Film/{{Gummo}}''."
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Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
----
to:
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----
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
[[Funny/TheCinemaSnob All]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2007To2009Episodes 2007-09]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2010Episodes 2010]] | '''2011''' | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2014Episodes 2014]]
to:
[[Funny/TheCinemaSnob All]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2007To2009Episodes 2007-09]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2010Episodes 2010]] | '''2011''' | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2014Episodes 2014]]2014]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2015Episodes 2015]]
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Changed line(s) 197 (click to see context) from:
--->Yeah, you're about as Southern as [[LarryTheCableGuy Dan Whitney]].
to:
--->Yeah, you're about as Southern as [[LarryTheCableGuy [[Creator/LarryTheCableGuy Dan Whitney]].
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Changed line(s) 264 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:''' She's twelve!!!!
to:
-->'''Snob:''' She's twelve!!!!'''SHE'S ''TWELVE!!!!'''''
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** Followed up by a hilariously exasperated look from Mrs Snob.
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Changed line(s) 194 (click to see context) from:
* He realizes that the phone number on the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Nazi business card]] is an actual phone number. He decides to call the number, only to be greeted by a loud clip of AdolfHitler giving a speech, causing him to drop his phone in surprise.
to:
* He realizes that the phone number on the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Nazi business card]] is an actual phone number. He decides to call the number, only to be greeted by a loud clip of AdolfHitler UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler giving a speech, causing him to drop his phone in surprise.
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Changed line(s) 324 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:'''Perfect! We're in for a good porn when Snoopy does the soundtrack.
to:
Changed line(s) 326 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:'''And so far, none of it contains E.T. getting fucked! Although do I even care about ''that'' kind of false advertising!?
to:
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Changed line(s) 307 (click to see context) from:
--> '''"Villain":''' Yeah, well, what was she doin' takin' yer temperature in yer pussy?
to:
--> '''"Villain":''' '''"Buddy":''' Yeah, well, what was she doin' doin', takin' yer temperature in yer pussy?
* Just his written description of the movie is hilarious. It simply says:
--> '''Wow. This one's bad.'''
--> '''Wow. This one's bad.'''
Changed line(s) 352 (click to see context) from:
* "Welcome to 2011! Where the word [[TheHumanCentipede "Centipede"]] takes on a whole new set of connotations..."
to:
* "Welcome to 2011! Where the word [[TheHumanCentipede "Centipede"]] "Centipede" takes on a whole new set of connotations..."
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
* Another talking vagina movie!
to:
* Another talking vagina movie!movie.
Changed line(s) 209 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:''' What? This isn't shit, it's a candy bar. ''That'' was shit. Grow up.
to:
-->'''Snob:''' What? This isn't shit, it's a candy bar. ''That'' was shit. Grow up.up, please.
Added DiffLines:
** For those of you who are interested, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcjMJv1FWW4 here's what he was talking about.]] In the very words of the Snob himself, you're welcome.
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* The Snob's increased anger at the bad dubbing, and [[EightDeadlyWords increased apathy regarding the characters]].
* A character dies through forced brain surgery, and the Snob says he would've preferred that to watching the movie.
* "What a fucking sad state we're in, when our CGI-filled horror films could learn something from the ''Violent Shit'' movies!"
* Comparing the video quality to "the camera that shot my Christmas Eve party in 1989!"
* "I don't want any ninjas in a forest unless it has Pierre Kirby or GodfreyHo involved! But that can be fixed..." Cue the scene with Alphaville's "Jet Set" in the background.
* "This movie has less to do with ninjas and zombies than ''Zombie vs. Ninja''!"
* A character dies through forced brain surgery, and the Snob says he would've preferred that to watching the movie.
* "What a fucking sad state we're in, when our CGI-filled horror films could learn something from the ''Violent Shit'' movies!"
* Comparing the video quality to "the camera that shot my Christmas Eve party in 1989!"
* "I don't want any ninjas in a forest unless it has Pierre Kirby or GodfreyHo involved! But that can be fixed..." Cue the scene with Alphaville's "Jet Set" in the background.
* "This movie has less to do with ninjas and zombies than ''Zombie vs. Ninja''!"
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*The SoundtrackDissonance of a beautiful composition to [[ILoveTheDead corpse-fucking]]. The Snob even tries to think of something better, but his dream of seagulls soon turns into the village fire from ''Cannibal Holocaust''.
*"Imagine how many Oscars ''KramerVsKramer ''wouldn't'' have won if it was about a corpse!"
*The Snob's increased bafflement at the FauxSymbolism.
*"This movie went from pretentious art film to ''ViolentShit'' fast." Followed by another pretentiousness moment.
*[[TakeOurWordForIt "What? I can't show it, so I might as well awkwardly describe it."]]
*"Imagine how many Oscars ''KramerVsKramer ''wouldn't'' have won if it was about a corpse!"
*The Snob's increased bafflement at the FauxSymbolism.
*"This movie went from pretentious art film to ''ViolentShit'' fast." Followed by another pretentiousness moment.
*[[TakeOurWordForIt "What? I can't show it, so I might as well awkwardly describe it."]]
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* Saying how black and white [[LeFilmArtistique makes everything more pretentious\artistic]].
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Pussy Talk]]
to:
[[folder:New Year's Evil]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Pussy Talk]]
Changed line(s) 7,11 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob:''' Is that the soundtrack or some annoying kids on a fucking plane?!
** The Big Box Model, erm... accompanied by the voice of Kung Tai Ted, to her horror.
** At the start, when he sees the logo of the company who makes the film
--->'''Snob:''' Why do I have the feeling someone is now going to fuck a horse in this movie?
** "Since this is the dub version, this means YOU'RE the English!"
** The Big Box Model, erm... accompanied by the voice of Kung Tai Ted, to her horror.
** At the start, when he sees the logo of the company who makes the film
--->'''Snob:''' Why do I have the feeling someone is now going to fuck a horse in this movie?
** "Since this is the dub version, this means YOU'RE the English!"
to:
Changed line(s) 13,17 (click to see context) from:
** '''Snob:''' Hmmm, [[NatalieWood Natalie]] isn't the only one getting [[RagingStiffie wood]] in this scene! [protagonist strokes a toy Pinocchio's nose]
*** Well, except for Pinocchio ... [[OhCrap Oh..]]
**** Never seen [[PinocchioNose lying get someone into such a]] [[AssShove tight jam!]]
[[AC:Italian Batman]]
*** Well, except for Pinocchio ... [[OhCrap Oh..]]
**** Never seen [[PinocchioNose lying get someone into such a]] [[AssShove tight jam!]]
[[AC:Italian Batman]]
to:
[[AC:Italian
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dressed To Fire]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Italian Batman]]
Changed line(s) 21,22 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Star Odyssey]]
to:
[[folder:Driller Killer]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Star Odyssey]]
Changed line(s) 24,29 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob:''' "Bastard! They destroyed the world's supply of StockFootage! Now how is Nick Phillips going to make another Death Nurse movie!"
** Being interrupted by the final shootout of ''TheHookerWithAHeartOfGold''.
--->... (concerned) I'm sure that will work itself out...
** Commenting on the villain, who is a scaly looking person.
--->The man from the fridge might have claimed that he is the Waffle Maker, but this guy, really IS the Waffle Maker!
** "Enderium... the mineral is called Enderium... That make you happy, James Cameron? '''YOU RIPPED OFF STAR ODYSSEY!!'''
** Being interrupted by the final shootout of ''TheHookerWithAHeartOfGold''.
--->... (concerned) I'm sure that will work itself out...
** Commenting on the villain, who is a scaly looking person.
--->The man from the fridge might have claimed that he is the Waffle Maker, but this guy, really IS the Waffle Maker!
** "Enderium... the mineral is called Enderium... That make you happy, James Cameron? '''YOU RIPPED OFF STAR ODYSSEY!!'''
to:
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[[AC:Billy the Kid vs. Dracula]]
to:
[[folder:Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Billy the Kid vs. Dracula]]
Changed line(s) 34,35 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter]]
to:
[[folder:Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter]]
Changed line(s) 39,43 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob''': Don't feel bad for [[TragicMonster Hank]] though: he's left with one of the greatest tombstones ever!
--->'''Tombstone''': HANK TRACY. HE WAS JESSE JAMES' FRIEND.
--->'''Snob''': I hope to God that when I die, my tombstone reads something like "Here Lies The Cinema Snob. He once reviewed ''Troll 4'' with Phelous"!
[[AC:Night Trap: The Movie]]
--->'''Tombstone''': HANK TRACY. HE WAS JESSE JAMES' FRIEND.
--->'''Snob''': I hope to God that when I die, my tombstone reads something like "Here Lies The Cinema Snob. He once reviewed ''Troll 4'' with Phelous"!
[[AC:Night Trap: The Movie]]
to:
[[AC:Night Trap: The Movie]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Night Trap]]
Changed line(s) 49,50 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Las Tortugas Mutantes Pinjas]]
to:
[[folder:Las Tortugas Mutantes Pinjas]]
Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob:''' Oh, sure! Sure! This is what I want to see. '''TURTLES FUCKING!''' Well, why don't you just pop in a [[{{Mondo}} Mondo Cane]] film? I'm sure that's got turtles fucking!
to:
Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob:''' Oh, so Raphael's a voyeur now? Well that's going to cost him about ten wall flips. I can't show you what he's looking at, there's no subtitles so I don't know what she's saying, but judging by the sound of her voice... ''(Audio clip of woman moaning in ecstasy)'' Mikey, I think she likes it.... in the ''ass!''
to:
Changed line(s) 57,59 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob:''' Fin question mark? Well of course this isn't the end, in the sequel they learn about the "Secret of The Ooze"! Here's a hint...''[stage whisper]'' It's jism!
[[AC:Grizzly 2]]
[[AC:Grizzly 2]]
to:
[[AC:Grizzly
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Grizzly 2]]
Changed line(s) 61 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:''' ''Chatterbox''. Finished. ''Superman: the 1975 Musical''. Finished. ''Las Vegas [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Bloodbath''! Finished! ''Grizzly 2''? Yeah... we're not gonna bother finishing ''that.''
to:
-->'''Snob:''' ''Chatterbox''. Finished. ''Superman: the 1975 Musical''. Finished. ''Las Vegas ''[[Film/LasVegasBloodbath Las Vegas]] [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Bloodbath''! [[Film/LasVegasBloodbath Bloodbath]]''! Finished! ''Grizzly 2''? Yeah... we're not gonna bother finishing ''that.''
Changed line(s) 64 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:''' Hrm, sorry. It's just not the same if the music cue ISN'T Michael Jackson!
to:
-->'''Snob:''' Hrm, sorry. It's just not the same if the music cue ISN'T Michael Jackson!Music/MichaelJackson!
Changed line(s) 67,69 (click to see context) from:
** "I recognise those lyrics, it's from every Emo LiveJournal entry I've ever read!"
** Parodying an OverlyLongGag in the vein of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' by trying to pick up a box on his porch only to have it repeatedly fall from his grip. He eventually grabs it and throws it over the balcony.
--->'''Snob:''' '''THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!'''
** Parodying an OverlyLongGag in the vein of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' by trying to pick up a box on his porch only to have it repeatedly fall from his grip. He eventually grabs it and throws it over the balcony.
--->'''Snob:''' '''THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!'''
to:
Changed line(s) 71,72 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy]]
to:
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy]]
Changed line(s) 75,77 (click to see context) from:
**
--->'''Alice''': That's my breast. [...] Someday when I have a baby, it'll have milk in there.
--->'''Snob''': (fake laughs) You see that? (Points down at his crotch) Erection, GONE!
--->'''Alice''': That's my breast. [...] Someday when I have a baby, it'll have milk in there.
--->'''Snob''': (fake laughs) You see that? (Points down at his crotch) Erection, GONE!
to:
--->'''Alice''':
-->'''Alice''': That's my breast. [...] Someday when I have a baby, it'll have milk in there.
Changed line(s) 79,80 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Geek Maggot Bingo]]
to:
[[folder:Geek Maggot Bingo]]
Changed line(s) 83,84 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Frankenberry:''' YOUUUUUU FUCKING WIENER HEAD!!
--->'''Snob:''' Can't say I've ever heard Farnsworth say that!
--->'''Snob:''' Can't say I've ever heard Farnsworth say that!
to:
Changed line(s) 87,89 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob:''' You realize it would have been cheaper, just to throw a DUMMY off the cliff!
** Also a brilliant ShoutOut to the WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd at the end, when the monster gets struck by lightning
--->'''Snob:''' The Rawhide Kid has a bit of luck, because the monster is randomly struck by lightning! I guess because he walked longer as Mr. Hyde than he did as Dr. Jekyll!
** Also a brilliant ShoutOut to the WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd at the end, when the monster gets struck by lightning
--->'''Snob:''' The Rawhide Kid has a bit of luck, because the monster is randomly struck by lightning! I guess because he walked longer as Mr. Hyde than he did as Dr. Jekyll!
to:
**
--->'''Snob:'''
-->'''Snob:''' The Rawhide Kid has a bit of luck, because the monster is randomly struck by lightning! I guess because he [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd walked longer as Mr. Hyde than he did as Dr.
Changed line(s) 93 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Snob:''' Maybe the title even goes on from there! "The Freak From Suckweasel Mountain, [[Film/DrStrangelove And Love The Bomb]] [[Film/TheEnglishmanWhoWentUpAHillButCameDownAMountain Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain]], [[Film/DontBeAMenaceToSouthCentralWhileDrinkingYourJuiceInTheHood While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood]]!"
to:
Changed line(s) 99,100 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Film/CannibalHolocaust]]
to:
[[folder:Cannibal Holocaust]]
Changed line(s) 125,126 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Night of Horror]]
to:
[[folder:Night of Horror]]
Changed line(s) 129,131 (click to see context) from:
** From the ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates'', it starts with Brad holding his head in his hands, showing off his new wedding ring, and he says "I made a huge fucking mistake!" Looking down at the ring, he says, "Oh, no, not that, I mean watching ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates''.
[[AC:Dracula: The Dirty Old Man]]
[[AC:Dracula: The Dirty Old Man]]
to:
** From the ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates'', it It starts with Brad holding his head in his hands, showing off his new wedding ring, and he says "I made a huge fucking mistake!" Looking down at the ring, he says, "Oh, no, not that, I mean watching ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates''.
[[AC:Dracula:Confederates''.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dracula: The Dirty Old Man]]
[[AC:Dracula:
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Dracula: The Dirty Old Man]]
Changed line(s) 134,135 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Film/{{Pieces}}]]
to:
[[folder:Pieces]]
Changed line(s) 140,141 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Beware! Children at Play]]
to:
[[folder:Beware! Children at Play]]
Changed line(s) 146,147 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:A Clockwork Orgy]]
to:
[[folder:A Clockwork Orgy]]
Changed line(s) 157,158 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:The Tormentors]]
to:
[[folder:The Tormentors]]
Changed line(s) 162,163 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Nightdreams]]
to:
[[folder:Nightdreams]]
Changed line(s) 169,170 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Film/PinkFlamingos]]
to:
[[folder:Pink Flamingos]]
Changed line(s) 180,181 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Caligula II]]
to:
[[folder:Caligula II: Messalina, Messalina]]
Changed line(s) 183,184 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Hitler: Dead or Alive]]
to:
[[folder:Nekromantik]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Violent Shit III: Infantry of Doom]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Hitler - Dead or Alive]]
Changed line(s) 186,189 (click to see context) from:
** The Snob's own version of Douchey [=McNitpick=] shouting [[CuteKitten "Lloyd!"]] prompting Lloyd to appear behind the Snob.
*** What truly sells the moment is when Snob looks over his shoulder at Lloyd...prompting Lloyd to look into the camera, seemingly as surprised by his appearance as Snob (and the audience) is.
[[AC:Film/ChildBride]]
*** What truly sells the moment is when Snob looks over his shoulder at Lloyd...prompting Lloyd to look into the camera, seemingly as surprised by his appearance as Snob (and the audience) is.
[[AC:Film/ChildBride]]
to:
[[AC:Film/ChildBride]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Entrails of a Virgin]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Blood Feast]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Child Bride]]
Changed line(s) 191 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:''' Given that this a 1930s picture, I'm sure it's got some inappropriate music for the opening titles.
to:
-->'''Snob:''' Given that this a 1930s picture, I'm sure it's got some [[SoundtrackDissonance inappropriate music for the opening titles.titles]].
Changed line(s) 208,209 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:TheSinfulDwarf]]
to:
[[folder:TheSinfulDwarf]]
Changed line(s) 213,214 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Angel Above, The Devil Below]]
to:
[[folder:Angel Above, The Devil Below]]
Changed line(s) 216,217 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Dr. Sex]]
to:
[[folder:Dr. Sex]]
Changed line(s) 222,223 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Film/{{Maniac}}]]
to:
[[folder:Maniac]]
Changed line(s) 228,229 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: Bat Pussy]]
to:
[[folder:Bat Pussy]]
Changed line(s) 239,240 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: Badi (The Turkish E.T.)]]
to:
[[folder: Badi (The Turkish E.T.)]]
Changed line(s) 247,248 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: Keep Up The Lust E.T.]]
to:
[[folder:Keep Up The Lust E.T.]]
Changed line(s) 253,254 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: Nukie]]
to:
[[folder:Nukie]]
Changed line(s) 267,268 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: Homoti (The Other Turkish E.T.)]]
to:
[[folder:Homoti (The Other Turkish E.T.)]]
Changed line(s) 270,273 (click to see context) from:
** Ed Glaser's attempt at giving the history of the film. "It was directed by... Turk Turkman"
** Snob's numerous jokes about Homoti's huge ass.
[[AC: Extra Terrestrial Visitors]]
** Snob's numerous jokes about Homoti's huge ass.
[[AC: Extra Terrestrial Visitors]]
to:
[[AC: Extra
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Extra Terrestrial Visitors]]
Changed line(s) 278,279 (click to see context) from:
[[AC: Film/BloodRage]]
to:
[[folder:Porno Midnight Heat]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Blood Rage]]
Changed line(s) 281 (click to see context) from:
** On a clip of two of the characters playing a computer game
to:
Changed line(s) 283 (click to see context) from:
** He does a brief comparison between this film and ''Film/HomeSweetHome'', which he reviewed a year previous.
to:
Changed line(s) 285 (click to see context) from:
** Upon a character having their hand chopped off
to:
Changed line(s) 287 (click to see context) from:
** And when a female character is shown in the shower...
to:
Changed line(s) 289 (click to see context) from:
*** He proceeds to display a screenshot from his website, which has recently updated the icon for the Cinema Snob series. It's [[http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/311797_1945413495096_1835304777_1282356_2061092344_n.jpg an illustrated 3/4 profile of the Snob]]...but it's perfectly situated above [[http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/381689_1945406214914_1835304777_1282353_1524037896_n.jpg an image of the Big Box Model's rack]], giving it the appearance that [[GagBoobs he is sporting double-D cups]].
to:
Changed line(s) 291,292 (click to see context) from:
[[AC:Corpse Grinders]]
to:
[[folder:The Corpse Grinders]]
Changed line(s) 295 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob:''' ...Really, Lloyd? Were you ''that'' hard up for fucking money in the Seventies? Did those ''ThatDarnCat'' residuals not plan out?
to:
-->'''Snob:''' ...Really, Lloyd? Were you ''that'' hard up for fucking money in the Seventies? Did those ''ThatDarnCat'' ''Film/ThatDarnCat'' residuals not plan out?
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--->'''Snob:''' Oh, sure! Sure! This is what I want to see. '''TURTLES FUCKING!''' Well, why don't you just pop in a MondoCane film? I'm sure that's got turtles fucking!
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--->'''Snob:''' Oh, sure! Sure! This is what I want to see. '''TURTLES FUCKING!''' Well, why don't you just pop in a MondoCane [[{{Mondo}} Mondo Cane]] film? I'm sure that's got turtles fucking!
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--->'''Snob:''' Oh, sure! Sure! This is what I want to see. '''TURTLES FUCKING!''' Well, why don't you just pop in a Mondo Cane film? I'm sure that's got turtles fucking!
to:
--->'''Snob:''' Oh, sure! Sure! This is what I want to see. '''TURTLES FUCKING!''' Well, why don't you just pop in a Mondo Cane MondoCane film? I'm sure that's got turtles fucking!
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--->'''Alice''': That's my breast. When I have a child, it will fill with milk to feed it.
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--->'''Alice''': That's my breast. When [...] Someday when I have a child, it will fill with baby, it'll have milk to feed it.in there.
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* "Huh, the director's cut of ''Film/SuckerPunch'' really ''is'' that different." And after that, struggling not to make ''SuckerPunch'' references... and eventually failing.
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* "Huh, the director's cut of ''Film/SuckerPunch'' really ''is'' that different." And after that, struggling not to make ''SuckerPunch'' ''Sucker Punch'' references... and eventually failing.
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[[Funny/TheCinemaSnob All]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2007To2009Episodes 2007-09]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2010Episodes 2010]] | '''2011''' | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2012Episodes [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2014Episodes 2014]]
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[[AC:Pussy Talk]]
* Another talking vagina movie!
** In the intro the normal theme song is replaced with [[OneFroggyEvening Michigan J. Frog singing "Hello Mah Baby!"]]
** In the same review, when the main female lead is escaping whilst in the background music plays with a "Hup! Hup! Hup!" sound in the background:
--->'''Snob:''' Is that the soundtrack or some annoying kids on a fucking plane?!
** The Big Box Model, erm... accompanied by the voice of Kung Tai Ted, to her horror.
** At the start, when he sees the logo of the company who makes the film
--->'''Snob:''' Why do I have the feeling someone is now going to fuck a horse in this movie?
** "Since this is the dub version, this means YOU'RE the English!"
* (About the scene of the lead actress as a teen having sex with her boyfriend)
** '''Snob:''' Hmmm, [[NatalieWood Natalie]] isn't the only one getting [[RagingStiffie wood]] in this scene! [protagonist strokes a toy Pinocchio's nose]
*** Well, except for Pinocchio ... [[OhCrap Oh..]]
**** Never seen [[PinocchioNose lying get someone into such a]] [[AssShove tight jam!]]
[[AC:Italian Batman]]
* ''Italian Batman'' doesn't have any subtitles, so the Snob decides to add in his own subtitles... taken from the ''Batman'' movies.
** The Snob confirms that the actor playing Batman was also in ''Porno Holocaust''. How can he tell? By the [[{{Squick}} genital warts]].
** "We all certainly remember the classic DannyElfman ''Film/{{Batman}}'' theme! Yeah, this isn't it!" (Cue the movie's SoBadItsGood Synth soundtrack.)
[[AC:Star Odyssey]]
* When the aliens destroy a bunch of cities on Earth, using some very old stock explosions (as in "the movie is in color but the stock footage is in black and white" old).
--->'''Snob:''' "Bastard! They destroyed the world's supply of StockFootage! Now how is Nick Phillips going to make another Death Nurse movie!"
** Being interrupted by the final shootout of ''TheHookerWithAHeartOfGold''.
--->... (concerned) I'm sure that will work itself out...
** Commenting on the villain, who is a scaly looking person.
--->The man from the fridge might have claimed that he is the Waffle Maker, but this guy, really IS the Waffle Maker!
** "Enderium... the mineral is called Enderium... That make you happy, James Cameron? '''YOU RIPPED OFF STAR ODYSSEY!!'''
** "After endearing the Unobtainium... I mean, obtaining the Enderium..."
[[AC:Billy the Kid vs. Dracula]]
* After noticing that ''Billy the Kid vs. Dracula'' is the ''sixth'' movie starring Creator/JohnCarradine he's reviewed, he changes the the opening credits of the show to "The Creator/JohnCarradine Show starring The Cinema Snob". The theme song? ''[[Film/RedZoneCuba Night Train to Mundo Fine]]'', of course!
[[AC:Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter]]
* His not-so-subtle reasoning for public domain month.
-->'''Snob''': Why did I even do this [PublicDomain Month], anyway?! *cough* DVD *cough*
**
--->'''Snob''': Don't feel bad for [[TragicMonster Hank]] though: he's left with one of the greatest tombstones ever!
--->'''Tombstone''': HANK TRACY. HE WAS JESSE JAMES' FRIEND.
--->'''Snob''': I hope to God that when I die, my tombstone reads something like "Here Lies The Cinema Snob. He once reviewed ''Troll 4'' with Phelous"!
[[AC:Night Trap: The Movie]]
* The bootlegs the Snob DOES get in the mail
-->'''Snob:''' Brazillian Wizard of Oz? TURKISH Wizard of Oz? Oh, a [[SarcasmMode classic]], Strip to Kill, and... ''the HELL?'' [[BreadEggsMilkSquick The Charles "Tex" Watson 1990 Parole Hearing?!]]
-->{{Beat}}
-->[[CompletelyMissingThePoint What the hell am I gonna do with THAT?]]
* "They had to settle with the bed trap 'cause the [[HomeAlone paintcans on a string]] wasn't set up yet."
[[AC:Las Tortugas Mutantes Pinjas]]
-->'''Snob:''' For those of you who are curious the full title for the film is ''Las Tortugas Mutantes Pinjas'', which I think stands for [shot of naked torso] EEEEEWWW!!!!
** Also, the opening of the review.
--->'''Snob:''' Oh, sure! Sure! This is what I want to see. '''TURTLES FUCKING!''' Well, why don't you just pop in a Mondo Cane film? I'm sure that's got turtles fucking!
**
--->'''Snob:''' Oh, so Raphael's a voyeur now? Well that's going to cost him about ten wall flips. I can't show you what he's looking at, there's no subtitles so I don't know what she's saying, but judging by the sound of her voice... ''(Audio clip of woman moaning in ecstasy)'' Mikey, I think she likes it.... in the ''ass!''
**
--->'''Snob:''' Fin question mark? Well of course this isn't the end, in the sequel they learn about the "Secret of The Ooze"! Here's a hint...''[stage whisper]'' It's jism!
[[AC:Grizzly 2]]
* The Snob explaining why the prospect of reviewing of the movie scares him.
-->'''Snob:''' ''Chatterbox''. Finished. ''Superman: the 1975 Musical''. Finished. ''Las Vegas [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Bloodbath''! Finished! ''Grizzly 2''? Yeah... we're not gonna bother finishing ''that.''
* A gem from his review of this in complete film.
-->'''Unnamed Character:''' I just got something over the radio...Destroyed campsite...two dead bodies, kids. *Musical stinger as the scene changes*
-->'''Snob:''' Hrm, sorry. It's just not the same if the music cue ISN'T Michael Jackson!
-->'''Unnamed Character:''' Destroyed campsite...two dead bodies, kids. *The opening bars to Thriller is played over the stinger*
-->'''Snob:''' *Grinning awkwardly* ...Perfect?
** "I recognise those lyrics, it's from every Emo LiveJournal entry I've ever read!"
** Parodying an OverlyLongGag in the vein of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' by trying to pick up a box on his porch only to have it repeatedly fall from his grip. He eventually grabs it and throws it over the balcony.
--->'''Snob:''' '''THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!'''
* "I'll stick with good 1980s George Clooney movies like..." *long silence*
[[AC:Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy]]
* The ending to this review, where he states that the movie could have been a lot worse...which he acknowledges that it isn't much of a compliment coming from ''him'':
-->'''Snob''': When you know what [[ContinuityNod E.T's asshole looks like]] and [[ContinuityNod what the word "Conchadunga" means]]...yeah...it could be a LOT worse.
**
--->'''Alice''': That's my breast. When I have a child, it will fill with milk to feed it.
--->'''Snob''': (fake laughs) You see that? (Points down at his crotch) Erection, GONE!
** "You're just gonna have to take my for it that he goes Tweedle-deep in her Tweedle-dump."
[[AC:Geek Maggot Bingo]]
* The entire review of this MindScrew of a movie (Which surprisingly has no maggots, or no bingo) is full of gems:
** Commenting on Professor Frankenberry sounding more and more like Professor Farnsworth from ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' near the end of the film, culminating with:
--->'''Frankenberry:''' YOUUUUUU FUCKING WIENER HEAD!!
--->'''Snob:''' Can't say I've ever heard Farnsworth say that!
** He later calls Frankenberry [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Doctor Forrester]], an arguably more apt comparison given the guy's appearance.
** A characters death from falling played out via [[SpecialEffectsFailure an animated falling sequence]]
--->'''Snob:''' You realize it would have been cheaper, just to throw a DUMMY off the cliff!
** Also a brilliant ShoutOut to the WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd at the end, when the monster gets struck by lightning
--->'''Snob:''' The Rawhide Kid has a bit of luck, because the monster is randomly struck by lightning! I guess because he walked longer as Mr. Hyde than he did as Dr. Jekyll!
** And that's the end of ''Geek Maggot Bingo''! *laughs a little* ''What the hell?!'' Where do I start? Where do I finish? What the ''FUCK'' do I even need to say about this?!
** "Are you happy, movie? Your BADNESS killed your actor!"
** His comment on the [[LongTitle full title]] for the movie - ''Geek Maggot Bingo, or The Freak From Suckweasel Mountain''.
--->'''Snob:''' Maybe the title even goes on from there! "The Freak From Suckweasel Mountain, [[Film/DrStrangelove And Love The Bomb]] [[Film/TheEnglishmanWhoWentUpAHillButCameDownAMountain Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain]], [[Film/DontBeAMenaceToSouthCentralWhileDrinkingYourJuiceInTheHood While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood]]!"
** Hell, even the tagline is hilarious
--->'''Tagline:''' ...[[FlatWhat what]]?
** "Wanna be in my movie, Mountain Biscuit Corpse?"
** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Fortunately for him, he found the world's only man with a transvestite hunchback fetish]]."
** The "most pretentious last words ever" sequence is hilarious. The [[SelfDeprecation Snob is disappointed, as]] ''[[SelfDeprecation he]]'' [[SelfDeprecation wanted to use the speech for his last words.]]
[[AC:Film/CannibalHolocaust]]
* Jerrid as Detective Bolla:
-->'''Bolla:''' This tapwater tastes like cola...
-->'''Mrs. Snob:''' Yeah, he only has [[TrademarkFavoriteFood Crystal Pepsi]] flowing through our pipes...
-->'''Bolla:''' Well that's stupefyingly nostalgic.
* Jerrid taking a jab at video commentors:
-->'''Bolla:''' First!
-->'''Mrs. Snob:''' What?
-->'''Bolla:''' I'm the first person to comment on this video!
* From a montage of interviews with people who knew Alan Yates, the director of the film crew:
-->'''Yates' father:''' My son is no good. He doesn't work. He doesn't go to school. He wants to lay around the house all day, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment and he's no good]]. Period, pal. That's it.
-->'''Snob:''' *looking shocked* D-d-dad?
* "Aw shit! They just found [[TheBlairWitchProject Heather Donahue pissing in the woods]] again." She sees a spider and screams. "Oh wait, never mind. It's just [[IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom Willie Scott]]."
* "I, for one, am offended by that unnecessary political comment." "Hey look, titties!" "Ooh!"
* The Snob declines to show the infamous impaling scene. Then he receives an email from the artist working on the title card of this episode. It depicts the aforementioned scene, with the Snob in place of the native woman. "Oh my God! My...my poor ass."
* The executives order all the FoundFootage to be destroyed. "On second thought, just stick it in a vault next to TheDayTheClownCried."
* The film's last line:
-->'''Monroe:''' I wonder who the real cannibals are.
-->'''Snob:''' I know the answer to this: the people who eat people. If you eat people, you're the real fucking cannibals!
* This exchange:
-->'''Bolla:''' So you see, Mrs. Snob, it appears that your husband was so obsessed with making a great review that he ran outside and was promptly murdered.
-->'''Mrs. Snob:''' So where did his body go?
-->'''Bolla:''' *thinks, than looks offscreen* Where did your body go?
-->'''Snob:''' *offscreen* Cannibals ate it.
-->'''Bolla:''' Oh. *to Mrs. Snob* Cannibals ate it.
[[AC:Night of Horror]]
* At the beginning, the Snob realizes that he's about to watch another movie about zombie Confederates. He interrupts his own ThemeSong to yell [[PrecisionFStrike "FUCK!"]]
** Also, playing CreedenceClearwaterRevival's [[SoundtrackDissonance Fortunate Son over Civil War reenactment footage]].
** From the ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates'', it starts with Brad holding his head in his hands, showing off his new wedding ring, and he says "I made a huge fucking mistake!" Looking down at the ring, he says, "Oh, no, not that, I mean watching ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates''.
[[AC:Dracula: The Dirty Old Man]]
* The shower he takes when he sees the sexual assault/rape scene being dubbed over.
* Jerrid [[GagDub dubbing over]] the Snob at the end while parodying said movie's Narmful dubbing (overly describing the Snob's actions and making him sound like a [[AlterKocker Jewish sterotype]])
[[AC:Film/{{Pieces}}]]
* After seeing [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment a track-suit-wearing Asian man jump out of nowhere and assault a woman before explaining that he ate some "bad chop-suey" and running off]], the Snob asks if it "could be more out of nowhere." Seconds later he is repeatedly punched in the face by Kung Tai Ted:
-->'''Kung Tai Ted''': [[CallBack That's for shooting me in the kneecap last year!]] **walks off**
-->'''Cinema Snob''': Owwwwwwwwww!
-->'''Obscurus Lupa''': [[BrickJoke Ha]]!
[[AC:Beware! Children at Play]]
* When the sheriff's teen daughter wants the protagonist to touch her breast.
-->'''Daughter''': Feel me!
-->'''John''': Feel what?
-->'''Snob''': Feel what? Sweet fuckin' statutory... WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE MEANS?
[[AC:A Clockwork Orgy]]
* "But why am I saying this? This isn't a review of ''Film/AClockworkOrange''! As if there needed to be another review. It's a classic. Watch it! And if you haven't seen it...then you're probably five years old. And if you're five years old...[[HarmfulToMinors WATCH CLOCKWORK ORANGE! IT'S SO AWESOME!]]"
** The Snob's reaction to the orgy scene in where they replace "Singin' In The Rain" with "Take Me Out To The Ballgame":
--->'''Snob:''' Oh yeah, Creator/GeneKelly's ''[[ObviousSecondChoice second]]''-most popular song! Let me guess, they're going to replace Beethoven with "On Top of Spaghetti"!
** "Okay, now I think you're confusing a ''Clockwork Orange'' spoof with a ''Caligula'' spoof."
** The Snob dubbing over the mainstream pornos during the treatment scene with clips from ''E.T. The Porno'', ''Beaver and Buttface'' and ''Super Hornio Bros''.
** "Is it really such a problem in this futuristic society that citizens roam around having ''consensual sex'' with each other? This future's so bright I've got to wear Trojans!"
** "...The hell? Did she fuck him so hard it put him in a wheelchair? Eh, worth it."
** After making an IncrediblyLamePun about the characters being "a street gang I could get behind... or in front of", Brad looks off camera to make sure that Jillian isn't around.
* Pointing out the irony that the movie doesn't spoof the "William Tell Overture" scene, a scene that, if you freeze frame it at the right moment, is actual porn.
[[AC:The Tormentors]]
* He realizes that the phone number on the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Nazi business card]] is an actual phone number. He decides to call the number, only to be greeted by a loud clip of AdolfHitler giving a speech, causing him to drop his phone in surprise.
** His reaction to Dear Leader's accent:
--->Yeah, you're about as Southern as [[LarryTheCableGuy Dan Whitney]].
[[AC:Nightdreams]]
* "Huh, the director's cut of ''Film/SuckerPunch'' really ''is'' that different." And after that, struggling not to make ''SuckerPunch'' references... and eventually failing.
** During one scene where the female lead finds and plays with a fetus:
--->'''Snob:''' ...this scene reminds me of something.
--->'''[[Film/ASerbianFilm "NEWBORN! PORN!]] [[SickAndWrong NEWBORN!"]]'''
--->'''Snob:''' Ha ha, no, ''that'' movie was directed by pedophiles! This one is just weird.
[[AC:Film/PinkFlamingos]]
* The Cinema Snob celebrates what looks like the end of the movie with "my usual post-review Caramello"... and then, in the film's most famous scene, [[{{Squick}} Divine eats the dog turd]]. He stares at the film with a slack jaw... and then eats the Caramello.
-->'''Snob:''' What? This isn't shit, it's a candy bar. ''That'' was shit. Grow up.
** When Edie repeatedly demands to see the eggman, the Snob goes "[[Music/TheBeatles Goo goo g'joob.]]"
** "If this movie had any less of a point, it'd be a sphere!"
** The ''Film/CannibalHolocaust'' theme makes another appearance, this time over Babs' trailer burning down.
* In response to the Marbles deciding to challenge Divine for her "Filthiest Person Alive" title, the Snob points out "you're starring in Pink Flamingos. You're ALL the filthiest people alive!"
** "Forget the filthiest people alive. Now they're on another list: the FBI's ten most wanted."
** The actor in the "Surfin' Bird" scene chose to leave his name off the credits. "It's a good thing there's no other way to identify him, like his fucking face!" Cue a shot of the actor's face.
** "It's easy to see why RogerEbert gave this movie zero stars. The real question is...why did he watch it in the first place? For that matter, why did I watch it?"
[[AC:Caligula II]]
* The Snob begins his review of ''Caligula II'', a (spoof) sequel to a movie where the title character died at the end, by staring incredulously at the DVD case for several seconds, before finally just saying "...''what?''" Cut immediately to the Snob's theme music.
[[AC:Hitler: Dead or Alive]]
* The actor playing Hitler does a surprisingly good job, leading the Snob to look up the actor on IMDB, curious as to the actor's place of origin. He discovers that the actor, Bobby Watson, is from Springfield, Illinois... the Snob's (and Brad's) place of residence. "That's... that's where I'm from!"
** The Snob's own version of Douchey [=McNitpick=] shouting [[CuteKitten "Lloyd!"]] prompting Lloyd to appear behind the Snob.
*** What truly sells the moment is when Snob looks over his shoulder at Lloyd...prompting Lloyd to look into the camera, seemingly as surprised by his appearance as Snob (and the audience) is.
[[AC:Child Bride]]
*
-->'''Snob:''' Given that this a 1930s picture, I'm sure it's got some inappropriate music for the opening titles.
-->*cheerful 1930s music plays*
-->'''Snob:''' Classy. Nothing says "anti-pedophilia" like hijinks music.
*
-->'''Snob:''' WORST LITTLE RASCALS EPISODE EVER!
*
-->'''Preacher:''' If there is anyone here among you who knows of any reason why these two should not be joined together in holy wedlock, let him speak now --
-->'''Snob:''' She's twelve!!!!
*
-->'''Snob:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext That's a laugh that says, 'I think you're funny, but I also wanna wear your skin.']]
* At the beginning of the video before the music intro, he explains how the crew of [[MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] refused the film.
-->'''Snob:''' Well I have no standards. I'll do it.
*
-->'''Snob:''' There, just chuck the body down the cliff. That way it will look like the ground stabbed him.
* The SoundtrackDissonance from Film/{{Nekromantik}}'s [[ILoveTheDead most infamous scene]] causes the Snob to imagine more fitting images for the music (seagulls flying and gathering on beaches), only to have the village-burning scene from ''Film/CannibalHolocaust'' appear out of nowhere.
*
-->'''Snob:''' (over a time lapsing montage) Seasons go by as we see this shot (clip of snowfall) of the community's dandruff.
[[AC:TheSinfulDwarf]]
* After a scene where they use a stunt dummy for Olaf's suicide via window jump:
-->"And there you have the first onscreen appearance by the My Buddy doll."
* "Just touching the doorknob would get you addicted to crack!"
[[AC:Angel Above, The Devil Below]]
* When the psychiatrist is having a conversation with the heroine's demonically-possessed vagina, the Snob [[SexyDiscretionShot cuts to a shot of]] [[VisualPun Lloyd]] lounging on the floor every time the vagina is talking.
[[AC:Dr. Sex]]
* At the beginning of the episode, the Snob remembers that he actually referenced the movie in one of his first episodes. This prompts him to take a look at said episode, only to be horrified by the [[OldShame terrible set, lame jokes]] and the [[CriticalResearchFailure Critical Research Failure.]]
* His reaction to Dr. Sex's introduction:
-->'''Dr. Sex:''' Some people have called me a ''great'' psychoanalyst. Others have called me... a quack.
-->'''Snob:''' I think you're an asshole!
[[AC:Film/{{Maniac}}]]
* "[[CreepyDoll Is that little shit]] giving me the finger? Well, right back at you, Baby Bob!"
** Also, Jillian being visited by The Messiah from The Tormentors, who reads from [[AsTheGoodBookSays "the book]] [[JustForPun of]] [[Music/PaulMcCartney Paul"]]. ([[WaxingLyrical "When I find myself in times of trouble,]] [[Music/TheBeatles mother Mary comes to me..."]])
* "I swear, if this turns out to be another story from the mannequin guy from ''Dr. Sex'', then I'm going to write my [[StronglyWordedLetter 34th angry letter]] to [[TheGirlInGoldBoots Ted V. Mikels]]."
* "Nurses, what are you doing here? This movie is going to kill you!"
[[AC: Bat Pussy]]
* He reviews ''Bat Pussy'' while wearing a horse head.
** Just the way he says "Holy shit, ''The Anal Dwarf''!" after sitting through the main movie.
** Also, the random cut to [[CuteKitten Lloyd]] while the Snob is talking.
* "That's it? Really!? This is the closest I've come to just simply snobbing [[PornWithoutPlot two people fucking for an hour]]!"
* "[[Film/BloodsuckingFreaks Ralphus]] is very well hung, by the way. This is one horse that's impressed!"
* This exchange:
--> '''Brad:''' Until Bat Pussy gets there, we have to hear riveting line like this...
--> '''"Villain":''' Yeah, well, what was she doin' takin' yer temperature in yer pussy?
--> '''Brad:''' ...ewww! What does that even ''mean?!''
[[AC: Badi (The Turkish E.T.)]]
* Cinema Snob riffs not just on Badi, but on the TV pop-ups that were recorded along with it.
--> '''Snob:''' Why, yes, the movie ''does'' make me want to have phone sex! How did you ''know''?
** "Wait, was that commercial about to turn into porn?"
** "Good thing they're flying away now, as the town looks like it's been hit by extreme radiation!"
** The very end, where the word "SON" appears on screen (It's Turkish for END, btw.)
-->'''Snob:'''I am NOT your fucking son!
[[AC: Keep Up The Lust E.T.]]
* Snob's reaction to the twangy Jawharp music in the background.
-->'''Snob:'''Perfect! We're in for a good porn when Snoopy does the soundtrack.
** His frustration of most of the movie not even having E.T.
-->'''Snob:'''And so far, none of it contains E.T. getting fucked! Although do I even care about ''that'' kind of false advertising!?
[[AC: Nukie]]
* His reaction to a particularly bad scene.
-->'''Snob:'''...you can't convince me that GeorgeLucas ''didn't'' write this movie!
* His reaction to a character bringing up a previously unmentioned "Harvey" is just so goddamn earnest, it's amazing.
-->'''Snob:''' WHO'S HARVEY!?
*
-->'''Snob:''' Never thought I'd be so glad to be back in the deserts of Africa. Will something hilarious happen, please? ''(one of the children is struck by a cobra)'' '''HA!'''
* The failed attempt to bring "[[WebVideo/BadMovieBeatdown Matt]]" to come and say his phrase. It's followed by the Snob trying to sound enthusiastic saying "Symbolism!".
* After complaining the whole movie why Nukie just doesn't fly to America, this happens at the end:
-->'''Nukie:''' I have an idea! If we can't walk, we can fly together!
-->'''Snob:''' ''(dripping with hate)'' You don't ''FUCKING'' say!
*
-->'''Snob:''' Good thing I reviewed this movie on hump day, because I feel like I just got ''' ''fucked!'' '''
[[AC: Homoti (The Other Turkish E.T.)]]
* Upon seeing a random animation scene of ''Homoti'': "They're trying to make the credits for ''Film/CasinoRoyale''!" Cue "You Know My Name" over the CG.
** Ed Glaser's attempt at giving the history of the film. "It was directed by... Turk Turkman"
** Snob's numerous jokes about Homoti's huge ass.
[[AC: Extra Terrestrial Visitors]]
* His realization that ''Extra Terrestrial Visitors'' is just another title for [[spoiler: PodPeople]]
* The Snob's recap of E.T. Week.
--> '''Snob:''' We've come to the end of E.T. Week. *chuckles briefly* '''Thank fucking GOD!!!''' At this point I really don't fucking care. I've seen enough Turkish aliens, [[RuleThirtyFour double-penied E.T.s]], and '''''[[BerserkButton "NUKIE"]]''''' to make me wanna blast off to my own planet where no human's interpretations of extra terrestrials can ever hurt me again!
* "Welcome to 2011! Where the word [[TheHumanCentipede "Centipede"]] takes on a whole new set of connotations..."
[[AC: Film/BloodRage]]
* His review for ''Film/BloodRage'', made funnier by that his voice keeps cracking throughout the review.
** On a clip of two of the characters playing a computer game
--> '''Snob:''' "Did I just watch the original LetsPlay?"
** He does a brief comparison between this film and ''Film/HomeSweetHome'', which he reviewed a year previous.
--> '''Snob:''' The only difference between these two movies is that in ''Blood Rage'', I don't get to see Body By Jake acting like a fucking nutbar!
** Upon a character having their hand chopped off
--> '''Snob:''' Hey! He just did you a favor - he stopped you from drinking a whole thing of Old Style!
** And when a female character is shown in the shower...
--> '''Snob:''' Hmm...not as gorgeous as ''my'' luscious breasts!
*** He proceeds to display a screenshot from his website, which has recently updated the icon for the Cinema Snob series. It's [[http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/311797_1945413495096_1835304777_1282356_2061092344_n.jpg an illustrated 3/4 profile of the Snob]]...but it's perfectly situated above [[http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/381689_1945406214914_1835304777_1282353_1524037896_n.jpg an image of the Big Box Model's rack]], giving it the appearance that [[GagBoobs he is sporting double-D cups]].
*** Jillian specifically had to reassure the fans that the above alignment will still be there after the site is redesigned.
[[AC:Corpse Grinders]]
* At the start, [[CuteKitten Lloyd]] is seen sitting in the Snob's chair. As the camera zooms in, Lloyd perks up and meows, causing the Snob to back off.
** Then TheReveal that Lloyd had a role in the movie. (Doing pretty good for a 40-year-old cat! Heh.)
-->'''Snob:''' ...Really, Lloyd? Were you ''that'' hard up for fucking money in the Seventies? Did those ''ThatDarnCat'' residuals not plan out?
-->.....
-->'''Nurse:''' You know Baby-san cares about you.
-->'''Snob:''' Baby-san? You let them call you Baby-san? ''Nice!''
-->'''Doctor:''' I swear you think more about that cat than you do me.
-->'''Snob:''' Well, Lloyd is a much better actor than you.
[[AC:Elves]]
* The title card where the Snob is hiding behind his chair from the title monster.
* When the main character laments that her cat is the only friend she has left.
-->'''Snob:''' *Awkward Pause* [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Psh, whatever... I have friends. This movie isn't speaking to me in a weird way...]]
* "Merry Christmas, [[TheBadGuyWins the Nazis win!]]"
* His amusement when [[TheLifeAndTimesOfGrizzlyAdams Dan Haggerty's]] character points out the ridiculousness of the occult section being in aisle 666.
* "I'll stick with ''ErnestSavesChristmas''."
* "Did that girl's life just get saved by an ''elf'' who stopped her from getting ''raped '''by a NAZI!?'''''"
*
-->'''Mike [=McGavin=]''' I want to know the connection between the elves and the Nazis.
-->'''Snob''': [[ARareSentence Are you aware that that's a sentence that just came out of your mouth]]!?
* When one of the girls says a dirty rhyme that jokes about a guy's size, one of the girls asks if it's actually true.
-->'''Snob''': Yes, his dick is literally three feet long. '''You fucking idiot!!!'''
----
[[AC:Pussy Talk]]
* Another talking vagina movie!
** In the intro the normal theme song is replaced with [[OneFroggyEvening Michigan J. Frog singing "Hello Mah Baby!"]]
** In the same review, when the main female lead is escaping whilst in the background music plays with a "Hup! Hup! Hup!" sound in the background:
--->'''Snob:''' Is that the soundtrack or some annoying kids on a fucking plane?!
** The Big Box Model, erm... accompanied by the voice of Kung Tai Ted, to her horror.
** At the start, when he sees the logo of the company who makes the film
--->'''Snob:''' Why do I have the feeling someone is now going to fuck a horse in this movie?
** "Since this is the dub version, this means YOU'RE the English!"
* (About the scene of the lead actress as a teen having sex with her boyfriend)
** '''Snob:''' Hmmm, [[NatalieWood Natalie]] isn't the only one getting [[RagingStiffie wood]] in this scene! [protagonist strokes a toy Pinocchio's nose]
*** Well, except for Pinocchio ... [[OhCrap Oh..]]
**** Never seen [[PinocchioNose lying get someone into such a]] [[AssShove tight jam!]]
[[AC:Italian Batman]]
* ''Italian Batman'' doesn't have any subtitles, so the Snob decides to add in his own subtitles... taken from the ''Batman'' movies.
** The Snob confirms that the actor playing Batman was also in ''Porno Holocaust''. How can he tell? By the [[{{Squick}} genital warts]].
** "We all certainly remember the classic DannyElfman ''Film/{{Batman}}'' theme! Yeah, this isn't it!" (Cue the movie's SoBadItsGood Synth soundtrack.)
[[AC:Star Odyssey]]
* When the aliens destroy a bunch of cities on Earth, using some very old stock explosions (as in "the movie is in color but the stock footage is in black and white" old).
--->'''Snob:''' "Bastard! They destroyed the world's supply of StockFootage! Now how is Nick Phillips going to make another Death Nurse movie!"
** Being interrupted by the final shootout of ''TheHookerWithAHeartOfGold''.
--->... (concerned) I'm sure that will work itself out...
** Commenting on the villain, who is a scaly looking person.
--->The man from the fridge might have claimed that he is the Waffle Maker, but this guy, really IS the Waffle Maker!
** "Enderium... the mineral is called Enderium... That make you happy, James Cameron? '''YOU RIPPED OFF STAR ODYSSEY!!'''
** "After endearing the Unobtainium... I mean, obtaining the Enderium..."
[[AC:Billy the Kid vs. Dracula]]
* After noticing that ''Billy the Kid vs. Dracula'' is the ''sixth'' movie starring Creator/JohnCarradine he's reviewed, he changes the the opening credits of the show to "The Creator/JohnCarradine Show starring The Cinema Snob". The theme song? ''[[Film/RedZoneCuba Night Train to Mundo Fine]]'', of course!
[[AC:Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter]]
* His not-so-subtle reasoning for public domain month.
-->'''Snob''': Why did I even do this [PublicDomain Month], anyway?! *cough* DVD *cough*
**
--->'''Snob''': Don't feel bad for [[TragicMonster Hank]] though: he's left with one of the greatest tombstones ever!
--->'''Tombstone''': HANK TRACY. HE WAS JESSE JAMES' FRIEND.
--->'''Snob''': I hope to God that when I die, my tombstone reads something like "Here Lies The Cinema Snob. He once reviewed ''Troll 4'' with Phelous"!
[[AC:Night Trap: The Movie]]
* The bootlegs the Snob DOES get in the mail
-->'''Snob:''' Brazillian Wizard of Oz? TURKISH Wizard of Oz? Oh, a [[SarcasmMode classic]], Strip to Kill, and... ''the HELL?'' [[BreadEggsMilkSquick The Charles "Tex" Watson 1990 Parole Hearing?!]]
-->{{Beat}}
-->[[CompletelyMissingThePoint What the hell am I gonna do with THAT?]]
* "They had to settle with the bed trap 'cause the [[HomeAlone paintcans on a string]] wasn't set up yet."
[[AC:Las Tortugas Mutantes Pinjas]]
-->'''Snob:''' For those of you who are curious the full title for the film is ''Las Tortugas Mutantes Pinjas'', which I think stands for [shot of naked torso] EEEEEWWW!!!!
** Also, the opening of the review.
--->'''Snob:''' Oh, sure! Sure! This is what I want to see. '''TURTLES FUCKING!''' Well, why don't you just pop in a Mondo Cane film? I'm sure that's got turtles fucking!
**
--->'''Snob:''' Oh, so Raphael's a voyeur now? Well that's going to cost him about ten wall flips. I can't show you what he's looking at, there's no subtitles so I don't know what she's saying, but judging by the sound of her voice... ''(Audio clip of woman moaning in ecstasy)'' Mikey, I think she likes it.... in the ''ass!''
**
--->'''Snob:''' Fin question mark? Well of course this isn't the end, in the sequel they learn about the "Secret of The Ooze"! Here's a hint...''[stage whisper]'' It's jism!
[[AC:Grizzly 2]]
* The Snob explaining why the prospect of reviewing of the movie scares him.
-->'''Snob:''' ''Chatterbox''. Finished. ''Superman: the 1975 Musical''. Finished. ''Las Vegas [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Bloodbath''! Finished! ''Grizzly 2''? Yeah... we're not gonna bother finishing ''that.''
* A gem from his review of this in complete film.
-->'''Unnamed Character:''' I just got something over the radio...Destroyed campsite...two dead bodies, kids. *Musical stinger as the scene changes*
-->'''Snob:''' Hrm, sorry. It's just not the same if the music cue ISN'T Michael Jackson!
-->'''Unnamed Character:''' Destroyed campsite...two dead bodies, kids. *The opening bars to Thriller is played over the stinger*
-->'''Snob:''' *Grinning awkwardly* ...Perfect?
** "I recognise those lyrics, it's from every Emo LiveJournal entry I've ever read!"
** Parodying an OverlyLongGag in the vein of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' by trying to pick up a box on his porch only to have it repeatedly fall from his grip. He eventually grabs it and throws it over the balcony.
--->'''Snob:''' '''THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!'''
* "I'll stick with good 1980s George Clooney movies like..." *long silence*
[[AC:Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy]]
* The ending to this review, where he states that the movie could have been a lot worse...which he acknowledges that it isn't much of a compliment coming from ''him'':
-->'''Snob''': When you know what [[ContinuityNod E.T's asshole looks like]] and [[ContinuityNod what the word "Conchadunga" means]]...yeah...it could be a LOT worse.
**
--->'''Alice''': That's my breast. When I have a child, it will fill with milk to feed it.
--->'''Snob''': (fake laughs) You see that? (Points down at his crotch) Erection, GONE!
** "You're just gonna have to take my for it that he goes Tweedle-deep in her Tweedle-dump."
[[AC:Geek Maggot Bingo]]
* The entire review of this MindScrew of a movie (Which surprisingly has no maggots, or no bingo) is full of gems:
** Commenting on Professor Frankenberry sounding more and more like Professor Farnsworth from ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' near the end of the film, culminating with:
--->'''Frankenberry:''' YOUUUUUU FUCKING WIENER HEAD!!
--->'''Snob:''' Can't say I've ever heard Farnsworth say that!
** He later calls Frankenberry [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Doctor Forrester]], an arguably more apt comparison given the guy's appearance.
** A characters death from falling played out via [[SpecialEffectsFailure an animated falling sequence]]
--->'''Snob:''' You realize it would have been cheaper, just to throw a DUMMY off the cliff!
** Also a brilliant ShoutOut to the WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd at the end, when the monster gets struck by lightning
--->'''Snob:''' The Rawhide Kid has a bit of luck, because the monster is randomly struck by lightning! I guess because he walked longer as Mr. Hyde than he did as Dr. Jekyll!
** And that's the end of ''Geek Maggot Bingo''! *laughs a little* ''What the hell?!'' Where do I start? Where do I finish? What the ''FUCK'' do I even need to say about this?!
** "Are you happy, movie? Your BADNESS killed your actor!"
** His comment on the [[LongTitle full title]] for the movie - ''Geek Maggot Bingo, or The Freak From Suckweasel Mountain''.
--->'''Snob:''' Maybe the title even goes on from there! "The Freak From Suckweasel Mountain, [[Film/DrStrangelove And Love The Bomb]] [[Film/TheEnglishmanWhoWentUpAHillButCameDownAMountain Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain]], [[Film/DontBeAMenaceToSouthCentralWhileDrinkingYourJuiceInTheHood While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood]]!"
** Hell, even the tagline is hilarious
--->'''Tagline:''' ...[[FlatWhat what]]?
** "Wanna be in my movie, Mountain Biscuit Corpse?"
** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Fortunately for him, he found the world's only man with a transvestite hunchback fetish]]."
** The "most pretentious last words ever" sequence is hilarious. The [[SelfDeprecation Snob is disappointed, as]] ''[[SelfDeprecation he]]'' [[SelfDeprecation wanted to use the speech for his last words.]]
[[AC:Film/CannibalHolocaust]]
* Jerrid as Detective Bolla:
-->'''Bolla:''' This tapwater tastes like cola...
-->'''Mrs. Snob:''' Yeah, he only has [[TrademarkFavoriteFood Crystal Pepsi]] flowing through our pipes...
-->'''Bolla:''' Well that's stupefyingly nostalgic.
* Jerrid taking a jab at video commentors:
-->'''Bolla:''' First!
-->'''Mrs. Snob:''' What?
-->'''Bolla:''' I'm the first person to comment on this video!
* From a montage of interviews with people who knew Alan Yates, the director of the film crew:
-->'''Yates' father:''' My son is no good. He doesn't work. He doesn't go to school. He wants to lay around the house all day, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment and he's no good]]. Period, pal. That's it.
-->'''Snob:''' *looking shocked* D-d-dad?
* "Aw shit! They just found [[TheBlairWitchProject Heather Donahue pissing in the woods]] again." She sees a spider and screams. "Oh wait, never mind. It's just [[IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom Willie Scott]]."
* "I, for one, am offended by that unnecessary political comment." "Hey look, titties!" "Ooh!"
* The Snob declines to show the infamous impaling scene. Then he receives an email from the artist working on the title card of this episode. It depicts the aforementioned scene, with the Snob in place of the native woman. "Oh my God! My...my poor ass."
* The executives order all the FoundFootage to be destroyed. "On second thought, just stick it in a vault next to TheDayTheClownCried."
* The film's last line:
-->'''Monroe:''' I wonder who the real cannibals are.
-->'''Snob:''' I know the answer to this: the people who eat people. If you eat people, you're the real fucking cannibals!
* This exchange:
-->'''Bolla:''' So you see, Mrs. Snob, it appears that your husband was so obsessed with making a great review that he ran outside and was promptly murdered.
-->'''Mrs. Snob:''' So where did his body go?
-->'''Bolla:''' *thinks, than looks offscreen* Where did your body go?
-->'''Snob:''' *offscreen* Cannibals ate it.
-->'''Bolla:''' Oh. *to Mrs. Snob* Cannibals ate it.
[[AC:Night of Horror]]
* At the beginning, the Snob realizes that he's about to watch another movie about zombie Confederates. He interrupts his own ThemeSong to yell [[PrecisionFStrike "FUCK!"]]
** Also, playing CreedenceClearwaterRevival's [[SoundtrackDissonance Fortunate Son over Civil War reenactment footage]].
** From the ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates'', it starts with Brad holding his head in his hands, showing off his new wedding ring, and he says "I made a huge fucking mistake!" Looking down at the ring, he says, "Oh, no, not that, I mean watching ''Curse of the Cannibal Confederates''.
[[AC:Dracula: The Dirty Old Man]]
* The shower he takes when he sees the sexual assault/rape scene being dubbed over.
* Jerrid [[GagDub dubbing over]] the Snob at the end while parodying said movie's Narmful dubbing (overly describing the Snob's actions and making him sound like a [[AlterKocker Jewish sterotype]])
[[AC:Film/{{Pieces}}]]
* After seeing [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment a track-suit-wearing Asian man jump out of nowhere and assault a woman before explaining that he ate some "bad chop-suey" and running off]], the Snob asks if it "could be more out of nowhere." Seconds later he is repeatedly punched in the face by Kung Tai Ted:
-->'''Kung Tai Ted''': [[CallBack That's for shooting me in the kneecap last year!]] **walks off**
-->'''Cinema Snob''': Owwwwwwwwww!
-->'''Obscurus Lupa''': [[BrickJoke Ha]]!
[[AC:Beware! Children at Play]]
* When the sheriff's teen daughter wants the protagonist to touch her breast.
-->'''Daughter''': Feel me!
-->'''John''': Feel what?
-->'''Snob''': Feel what? Sweet fuckin' statutory... WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE MEANS?
[[AC:A Clockwork Orgy]]
* "But why am I saying this? This isn't a review of ''Film/AClockworkOrange''! As if there needed to be another review. It's a classic. Watch it! And if you haven't seen it...then you're probably five years old. And if you're five years old...[[HarmfulToMinors WATCH CLOCKWORK ORANGE! IT'S SO AWESOME!]]"
** The Snob's reaction to the orgy scene in where they replace "Singin' In The Rain" with "Take Me Out To The Ballgame":
--->'''Snob:''' Oh yeah, Creator/GeneKelly's ''[[ObviousSecondChoice second]]''-most popular song! Let me guess, they're going to replace Beethoven with "On Top of Spaghetti"!
** "Okay, now I think you're confusing a ''Clockwork Orange'' spoof with a ''Caligula'' spoof."
** The Snob dubbing over the mainstream pornos during the treatment scene with clips from ''E.T. The Porno'', ''Beaver and Buttface'' and ''Super Hornio Bros''.
** "Is it really such a problem in this futuristic society that citizens roam around having ''consensual sex'' with each other? This future's so bright I've got to wear Trojans!"
** "...The hell? Did she fuck him so hard it put him in a wheelchair? Eh, worth it."
** After making an IncrediblyLamePun about the characters being "a street gang I could get behind... or in front of", Brad looks off camera to make sure that Jillian isn't around.
* Pointing out the irony that the movie doesn't spoof the "William Tell Overture" scene, a scene that, if you freeze frame it at the right moment, is actual porn.
[[AC:The Tormentors]]
* He realizes that the phone number on the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Nazi business card]] is an actual phone number. He decides to call the number, only to be greeted by a loud clip of AdolfHitler giving a speech, causing him to drop his phone in surprise.
** His reaction to Dear Leader's accent:
--->Yeah, you're about as Southern as [[LarryTheCableGuy Dan Whitney]].
[[AC:Nightdreams]]
* "Huh, the director's cut of ''Film/SuckerPunch'' really ''is'' that different." And after that, struggling not to make ''SuckerPunch'' references... and eventually failing.
** During one scene where the female lead finds and plays with a fetus:
--->'''Snob:''' ...this scene reminds me of something.
--->'''[[Film/ASerbianFilm "NEWBORN! PORN!]] [[SickAndWrong NEWBORN!"]]'''
--->'''Snob:''' Ha ha, no, ''that'' movie was directed by pedophiles! This one is just weird.
[[AC:Film/PinkFlamingos]]
* The Cinema Snob celebrates what looks like the end of the movie with "my usual post-review Caramello"... and then, in the film's most famous scene, [[{{Squick}} Divine eats the dog turd]]. He stares at the film with a slack jaw... and then eats the Caramello.
-->'''Snob:''' What? This isn't shit, it's a candy bar. ''That'' was shit. Grow up.
** When Edie repeatedly demands to see the eggman, the Snob goes "[[Music/TheBeatles Goo goo g'joob.]]"
** "If this movie had any less of a point, it'd be a sphere!"
** The ''Film/CannibalHolocaust'' theme makes another appearance, this time over Babs' trailer burning down.
* In response to the Marbles deciding to challenge Divine for her "Filthiest Person Alive" title, the Snob points out "you're starring in Pink Flamingos. You're ALL the filthiest people alive!"
** "Forget the filthiest people alive. Now they're on another list: the FBI's ten most wanted."
** The actor in the "Surfin' Bird" scene chose to leave his name off the credits. "It's a good thing there's no other way to identify him, like his fucking face!" Cue a shot of the actor's face.
** "It's easy to see why RogerEbert gave this movie zero stars. The real question is...why did he watch it in the first place? For that matter, why did I watch it?"
[[AC:Caligula II]]
* The Snob begins his review of ''Caligula II'', a (spoof) sequel to a movie where the title character died at the end, by staring incredulously at the DVD case for several seconds, before finally just saying "...''what?''" Cut immediately to the Snob's theme music.
[[AC:Hitler: Dead or Alive]]
* The actor playing Hitler does a surprisingly good job, leading the Snob to look up the actor on IMDB, curious as to the actor's place of origin. He discovers that the actor, Bobby Watson, is from Springfield, Illinois... the Snob's (and Brad's) place of residence. "That's... that's where I'm from!"
** The Snob's own version of Douchey [=McNitpick=] shouting [[CuteKitten "Lloyd!"]] prompting Lloyd to appear behind the Snob.
*** What truly sells the moment is when Snob looks over his shoulder at Lloyd...prompting Lloyd to look into the camera, seemingly as surprised by his appearance as Snob (and the audience) is.
[[AC:Child Bride]]
*
-->'''Snob:''' Given that this a 1930s picture, I'm sure it's got some inappropriate music for the opening titles.
-->*cheerful 1930s music plays*
-->'''Snob:''' Classy. Nothing says "anti-pedophilia" like hijinks music.
*
-->'''Snob:''' WORST LITTLE RASCALS EPISODE EVER!
*
-->'''Preacher:''' If there is anyone here among you who knows of any reason why these two should not be joined together in holy wedlock, let him speak now --
-->'''Snob:''' She's twelve!!!!
*
-->'''Snob:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext That's a laugh that says, 'I think you're funny, but I also wanna wear your skin.']]
* At the beginning of the video before the music intro, he explains how the crew of [[MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] refused the film.
-->'''Snob:''' Well I have no standards. I'll do it.
*
-->'''Snob:''' There, just chuck the body down the cliff. That way it will look like the ground stabbed him.
* The SoundtrackDissonance from Film/{{Nekromantik}}'s [[ILoveTheDead most infamous scene]] causes the Snob to imagine more fitting images for the music (seagulls flying and gathering on beaches), only to have the village-burning scene from ''Film/CannibalHolocaust'' appear out of nowhere.
*
-->'''Snob:''' (over a time lapsing montage) Seasons go by as we see this shot (clip of snowfall) of the community's dandruff.
[[AC:TheSinfulDwarf]]
* After a scene where they use a stunt dummy for Olaf's suicide via window jump:
-->"And there you have the first onscreen appearance by the My Buddy doll."
* "Just touching the doorknob would get you addicted to crack!"
[[AC:Angel Above, The Devil Below]]
* When the psychiatrist is having a conversation with the heroine's demonically-possessed vagina, the Snob [[SexyDiscretionShot cuts to a shot of]] [[VisualPun Lloyd]] lounging on the floor every time the vagina is talking.
[[AC:Dr. Sex]]
* At the beginning of the episode, the Snob remembers that he actually referenced the movie in one of his first episodes. This prompts him to take a look at said episode, only to be horrified by the [[OldShame terrible set, lame jokes]] and the [[CriticalResearchFailure Critical Research Failure.]]
* His reaction to Dr. Sex's introduction:
-->'''Dr. Sex:''' Some people have called me a ''great'' psychoanalyst. Others have called me... a quack.
-->'''Snob:''' I think you're an asshole!
[[AC:Film/{{Maniac}}]]
* "[[CreepyDoll Is that little shit]] giving me the finger? Well, right back at you, Baby Bob!"
** Also, Jillian being visited by The Messiah from The Tormentors, who reads from [[AsTheGoodBookSays "the book]] [[JustForPun of]] [[Music/PaulMcCartney Paul"]]. ([[WaxingLyrical "When I find myself in times of trouble,]] [[Music/TheBeatles mother Mary comes to me..."]])
* "I swear, if this turns out to be another story from the mannequin guy from ''Dr. Sex'', then I'm going to write my [[StronglyWordedLetter 34th angry letter]] to [[TheGirlInGoldBoots Ted V. Mikels]]."
* "Nurses, what are you doing here? This movie is going to kill you!"
[[AC: Bat Pussy]]
* He reviews ''Bat Pussy'' while wearing a horse head.
** Just the way he says "Holy shit, ''The Anal Dwarf''!" after sitting through the main movie.
** Also, the random cut to [[CuteKitten Lloyd]] while the Snob is talking.
* "That's it? Really!? This is the closest I've come to just simply snobbing [[PornWithoutPlot two people fucking for an hour]]!"
* "[[Film/BloodsuckingFreaks Ralphus]] is very well hung, by the way. This is one horse that's impressed!"
* This exchange:
--> '''Brad:''' Until Bat Pussy gets there, we have to hear riveting line like this...
--> '''"Villain":''' Yeah, well, what was she doin' takin' yer temperature in yer pussy?
--> '''Brad:''' ...ewww! What does that even ''mean?!''
[[AC: Badi (The Turkish E.T.)]]
* Cinema Snob riffs not just on Badi, but on the TV pop-ups that were recorded along with it.
--> '''Snob:''' Why, yes, the movie ''does'' make me want to have phone sex! How did you ''know''?
** "Wait, was that commercial about to turn into porn?"
** "Good thing they're flying away now, as the town looks like it's been hit by extreme radiation!"
** The very end, where the word "SON" appears on screen (It's Turkish for END, btw.)
-->'''Snob:'''I am NOT your fucking son!
[[AC: Keep Up The Lust E.T.]]
* Snob's reaction to the twangy Jawharp music in the background.
-->'''Snob:'''Perfect! We're in for a good porn when Snoopy does the soundtrack.
** His frustration of most of the movie not even having E.T.
-->'''Snob:'''And so far, none of it contains E.T. getting fucked! Although do I even care about ''that'' kind of false advertising!?
[[AC: Nukie]]
* His reaction to a particularly bad scene.
-->'''Snob:'''...you can't convince me that GeorgeLucas ''didn't'' write this movie!
* His reaction to a character bringing up a previously unmentioned "Harvey" is just so goddamn earnest, it's amazing.
-->'''Snob:''' WHO'S HARVEY!?
*
-->'''Snob:''' Never thought I'd be so glad to be back in the deserts of Africa. Will something hilarious happen, please? ''(one of the children is struck by a cobra)'' '''HA!'''
* The failed attempt to bring "[[WebVideo/BadMovieBeatdown Matt]]" to come and say his phrase. It's followed by the Snob trying to sound enthusiastic saying "Symbolism!".
* After complaining the whole movie why Nukie just doesn't fly to America, this happens at the end:
-->'''Nukie:''' I have an idea! If we can't walk, we can fly together!
-->'''Snob:''' ''(dripping with hate)'' You don't ''FUCKING'' say!
*
-->'''Snob:''' Good thing I reviewed this movie on hump day, because I feel like I just got ''' ''fucked!'' '''
[[AC: Homoti (The Other Turkish E.T.)]]
* Upon seeing a random animation scene of ''Homoti'': "They're trying to make the credits for ''Film/CasinoRoyale''!" Cue "You Know My Name" over the CG.
** Ed Glaser's attempt at giving the history of the film. "It was directed by... Turk Turkman"
** Snob's numerous jokes about Homoti's huge ass.
[[AC: Extra Terrestrial Visitors]]
* His realization that ''Extra Terrestrial Visitors'' is just another title for [[spoiler: PodPeople]]
* The Snob's recap of E.T. Week.
--> '''Snob:''' We've come to the end of E.T. Week. *chuckles briefly* '''Thank fucking GOD!!!''' At this point I really don't fucking care. I've seen enough Turkish aliens, [[RuleThirtyFour double-penied E.T.s]], and '''''[[BerserkButton "NUKIE"]]''''' to make me wanna blast off to my own planet where no human's interpretations of extra terrestrials can ever hurt me again!
* "Welcome to 2011! Where the word [[TheHumanCentipede "Centipede"]] takes on a whole new set of connotations..."
[[AC: Film/BloodRage]]
* His review for ''Film/BloodRage'', made funnier by that his voice keeps cracking throughout the review.
** On a clip of two of the characters playing a computer game
--> '''Snob:''' "Did I just watch the original LetsPlay?"
** He does a brief comparison between this film and ''Film/HomeSweetHome'', which he reviewed a year previous.
--> '''Snob:''' The only difference between these two movies is that in ''Blood Rage'', I don't get to see Body By Jake acting like a fucking nutbar!
** Upon a character having their hand chopped off
--> '''Snob:''' Hey! He just did you a favor - he stopped you from drinking a whole thing of Old Style!
** And when a female character is shown in the shower...
--> '''Snob:''' Hmm...not as gorgeous as ''my'' luscious breasts!
*** He proceeds to display a screenshot from his website, which has recently updated the icon for the Cinema Snob series. It's [[http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/311797_1945413495096_1835304777_1282356_2061092344_n.jpg an illustrated 3/4 profile of the Snob]]...but it's perfectly situated above [[http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/381689_1945406214914_1835304777_1282353_1524037896_n.jpg an image of the Big Box Model's rack]], giving it the appearance that [[GagBoobs he is sporting double-D cups]].
*** Jillian specifically had to reassure the fans that the above alignment will still be there after the site is redesigned.
[[AC:Corpse Grinders]]
* At the start, [[CuteKitten Lloyd]] is seen sitting in the Snob's chair. As the camera zooms in, Lloyd perks up and meows, causing the Snob to back off.
** Then TheReveal that Lloyd had a role in the movie. (Doing pretty good for a 40-year-old cat! Heh.)
-->'''Snob:''' ...Really, Lloyd? Were you ''that'' hard up for fucking money in the Seventies? Did those ''ThatDarnCat'' residuals not plan out?
-->.....
-->'''Nurse:''' You know Baby-san cares about you.
-->'''Snob:''' Baby-san? You let them call you Baby-san? ''Nice!''
-->'''Doctor:''' I swear you think more about that cat than you do me.
-->'''Snob:''' Well, Lloyd is a much better actor than you.
[[AC:Elves]]
* The title card where the Snob is hiding behind his chair from the title monster.
* When the main character laments that her cat is the only friend she has left.
-->'''Snob:''' *Awkward Pause* [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Psh, whatever... I have friends. This movie isn't speaking to me in a weird way...]]
* "Merry Christmas, [[TheBadGuyWins the Nazis win!]]"
* His amusement when [[TheLifeAndTimesOfGrizzlyAdams Dan Haggerty's]] character points out the ridiculousness of the occult section being in aisle 666.
* "I'll stick with ''ErnestSavesChristmas''."
* "Did that girl's life just get saved by an ''elf'' who stopped her from getting ''raped '''by a NAZI!?'''''"
*
-->'''Mike [=McGavin=]''' I want to know the connection between the elves and the Nazis.
-->'''Snob''': [[ARareSentence Are you aware that that's a sentence that just came out of your mouth]]!?
* When one of the girls says a dirty rhyme that jokes about a guy's size, one of the girls asks if it's actually true.
-->'''Snob''': Yes, his dick is literally three feet long. '''You fucking idiot!!!'''
