History Funny / SherlockHolmes2009

** The first time he gets zapped by Holmes, Dredger flies backwards into a closet, banging around loudly inside of it. He takes so long to come back out, the music actually stops for a few seconds. The real kicker is the way Holmes quizzically tilts his head to one side, his expression screaming "What the devil is taking him so long?"

* Holmes compliments a hereto silent Watson on his value as a companion, and is then sucker-punched by Watson.

* Watson to Holmes: "You look gorgeous..."

-->'''Holmes''': There is only one case which intrigues me at present...the curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings, and they appear most...''sinister''...\\

'''Holmes''': Don't touch! Everything is in its proper place, as per usual... ''Nnnnnanny''...

'''Holmes''': There's nothing of interest [[PunctuatedForEmphasis for me. Out there. On Earth... At all.]]\\

'''Holmes''': My favorite.\\

'''Holmes''': It's not in your face; it's in my hand.\\
'''Watson''': Get what's in your hand out of my face.

'''Watson''': *stammering with rage* '''''The dog!'''''

-->'''Watson''': Holmes, as your doctor…\\

* [[spoiler:When Lord Coward is trying to find Holmes in the smoke, ,[[BondVillainStupidity talking about Blackwood's plans,]] and it turns out that Holmes has been sitting in a chair behind him, casually smoking his pipe.]]

* [[spoiler:When Lord Coward is trying to find Holmes in the smoke, talking about Blackwood's plans, and it turns out that Holmes has been sitting in a chair behind him, casually smoking his pipe.]]

[[AC:''Sherlock Holmes'' (2009)]]

* Holmes having wine splashed into his face as he incorrectly analyzes Mary's last relationship and remaining completely motionless in blank shock for about a minute afterward. ''And then nonchalantly resuming his meal when Mary and Watson depart''.

** As Watson's on his way upstairs, he runs into Holmes, scrambling down the stairs. "Is that a--" "False nose? [[BlatantLies No]]."

-->'''Sherlock Holmes:''' That's the Irene I know.

* "I'm in the process of inventing a device that muffles the sound of a gunshot!" "It's not working."

* "Is that a--" "False nose? [[BlatantLies No]]."
** Following up on the false nose bit, the part shortly after, when he jumps out of the window doing a silly shriek and a crash is heard off-camera. He then shouts for Watson and Watson looks out of the window to see that Holmes has fallen through the roof of the coal shed. Watson proceeds to roll his eyes, shut the window, and walk away.

** Holmes rams the carriage of Irene's mystery employer while disguised as a hobo with an eyepatch, soot-stained teeth (by chewing a piece of coal) and disheveled clothing.

* Irene's in her hotel room when she hears a noise at the door. She rolls her eyes and opens it to reveal Holmes failing for the second time to pick a lock.

** Irene Adler turning the tables on a pair of would-be muggers.
** Holmes ramming the carriage of Irene's mystery employer while disguised as a hobo with an eyepatch, soot-stained teeth (by chewing a piece of coal) and disheveled clothing.

** From that same scene, Watson opening the curtains and letting sunlight in, and Holmes yelling out in pain.

* The hammer scene. Holmes is running from [[GiantMook Dredger the Frenchman]], who has armed himself with a massive sledgehammer. Holmes fumbles around for a weapon, and produces an ordinary hammer. Both take a moment to compare their armaments, followed by Holmes pathetically chucking his at Dredger. [[NoSell It just bounces off and fails to faze him.]]
** It's made funnier by the fact that the camera cuts to a side angle to make sure we see just exactly how small Holmes and his hammer are by scale compared to Dredger.
** Also hilarious is that prior to this, Holmes tries to hoist the larger hammer, [[EpicFail only to barely lift it six inches off the ground]], before scrambling to find another weapon. Then Dredger picks up the hammer like a loaf of bread.

* If you know much about the fandom, particularly the shipping: Watson to Holmes: "You look gorgeous..."

* Clarkie trolling Sherlock on the way to Sir Thomas's manor.

** Made even funnier when you consider that maid is probably the only woman alive who would run away from [[MrFanservice a naked Robert Downey Jr tied to a bed]]!

* Holmes and Irene are about to disarm [[spoiler:Blackwood's device]] when, behind them, Watson is thrown across the way. Then enters Dredger, who spots Holmes and Irene. Irene fires two shots at Dredger, the last one hitting Dredger's hat before she runs out of ammo. Dredger approaches, removes his hat and calmly asks (in French) "Did you...miss me?", taking a moment to study his hat between that last line. Holmes then matter-of-factly tells Irene, "I rather wish you hadn't done that, Irene."

'''Holmes''': Is it poisoned? Nanny?!\\

'''Holmes:''' (in French) With pleasure. *takes off*

'''Holmes''': There's nothing of interest [[PunctuatedForEmphasis for me. Out there. On Earth. ...At all.]]\\

'''Watson''': AS YOUR FRIEND! You've been in this room for two weeks; I insist, you have to get out!\\

'''Watson''': Get what's in your hand out of my face.\\

-->'''Sherlock Holmes:''' Madam, I need you to remain calm, and [[TrustMeImAnX trust me, I am a professional]]. But beneath this pillow [[InnocentInnuendo lies the key to my release]].
-->''[The maid runs out of the room, disgusted]''
-->'''Sherlock Holmes:''' ''[cuts to Holmes retelling the event to Clarkie]'' Of course, she misinterpreted my meaning entirely.
-->'''Constable Clark:''' Naturally, sir.

-->''[in a bare-knuckle boxing match, Holmes sees Irene and tries to forfeit and leave]''
-->'''Sherlock Holmes:''' That's it, big man. You've won, congratulations.
-->'''[=McMurdo=]:''' Oi, we ain't done yet! ''( [=McMurdo=] spits at the back of Holmes's head. Holmes stops]''
-->'''Sherlock Holmes:''' ''[voiceover]'' [[DissonantSerenity This must not register on an emotional level.]] ''[In slow motion]'' [[WeNeedADistraction First, distract target.]] ''[Holmes flicks a handkerchief in front of his opponent's face]'' [[NoSell Then block his blind jab.]] ''[blocks an oncoming blow]'' Counter with cross to left cheek. ''[delivers a cut to that side of the face]'' Discombobulate. ''[claps his hands over his opponent's ears]'' Dazed, will attempt wild haymaker. [[NoSell Employ elbow block,]] and body shot. ''[blocks with his elbow and delivers a body blow]'' [[NoSell Block feral left.]] [[SickeningCrunch Weaken right jaw. Now fracture]]. ''[a cross to the jaw fractures the bone]'' Break cracked ribs. Traumatize solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. ''[two more body blows, and a right hook to the jaw hinge]'' Heel kick to diaphragm. ''[a heel kick to the opponent's chest sends him crashing out of the ring]'' [[AfterActionReport In summary:]] [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm hemorrhaging. Physical recovery: six weeks. Full psychological recovery: six months.]] [[DisproportionateRetribution Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralized.]] ''[Back in real time, Holmes picks up the handkerchief, as though wiping the back of his neck, then proceeds to do all of the foregoing in approximately six seconds, and kicks [=McMurdo=] out of the ring, before calmly walking away. A StunnedSilence falls on the crowd]''
-->'''Onlooker:''' Where did ''that'' come from?! ''[Everyone looks at their bets and realize that they've lost their money]''

-->'''Holmes''': There is only one case which intrigues me at present...the curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings, and they appear most...''sinister''...
-->'''Mrs. Hudson''': ''[long-suffering]'' Tea, Mr. Holmes?
-->'''Holmes''': Is it poisoned? Nanny?!
-->'''Mrs. Hudson''': There's enough of that in you already.
-->'''Holmes''': Don't touch! Everything is in its proper place, as per usual... ''Nnnnnanny''...

-->'''Watson''': Holmes, as your doctor...
-->'''Holmes''': [Gladstone]'ll be fit as a trivet in no time.
-->'''Watson''': AS YOUR FRIEND! You've been in this room for two weeks; I insist, you have to get out!\\

'''Watson''': So you're free this evening?
-->'''Holmes''': Absolutely.
-->'''Watson''': Dinner?
-->'''Holmes''': Wonderful.
-->'''Watson''': The Royale?
-->'''Holmes''': My favorite.
-->'''Watson''': Mary's coming.
-->'''Holmes''': (''pause'') Not available.
-->'''Watson''': You're meeting her, Holmes!

--> '''Watson''': When do I complain about you practicing the violin at three in the morning, or your mess? Your general lack of hygiene, or the fact that you ''steal my clothes''?!
--> '''Holmes''': Urm, we have a ''[[InsistentTerminology barter system]]''...
--> '''Watson''': When do I complain about you setting ''fire'' to my rooms?!
--> '''Holmes''': ''Our'' rooms.
--> '''Watson''': ''The rooms''. When do I complain that you experiment on-on my dog?!
--> '''Holmes''': ''Our'' dog.
--> '''Watson''': *stammering with rage* '''''The dog!'''''

---> '''Watson''': Get that [violin bow] out of my face.
---> '''Holmes''': It's not in your face; it's in my hand.
---> '''Watson''': Get what's in your hand out of my face.

** And right before the above, this from Watson:
---> Not that it's any of my business, but I would advise you to leave. The case. Alone.

---> '''Holmes''': (''points to Dredger'') Meat... (''points to the two other henchmen'') ...or potatoes?
---> '''Watson''': My ten minutes are up.

--->'''Watson''': You're not taking this seriously, are you, Holmes?!
--->'''Holmes''': Yes! As you should. (''Watson stares and scoffs'') This is a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell whether a man is dead or not!

-->'''Dredger:''' (in French) Run, little rabbit, run.
-->'''Holmes:''' (in French) With pleasure. *takes off*

* Irene is in her hotel room when she hears a noise at the door. She rolls her eyes and opens it to reveal Holmes failing for the second time to pick a lock.