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[[AC:Speedy, we hardly knew ye]]
* While the gang berates themselves over what they may have done to cause Speedy's death, Spinelli CrossesTheLineTwice and says what is perhaps the ''worst'' possible thing, and it's ''hilarious'':
-->'''Spinelli''': Listen if it makes you feel any better, you all killed him.

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[[AC:The A.V. Kid]]
* A.V. Kid is holding interviews for a replacement.
-->'''A.V. Kid:''' Before we begin, are there any questions? Don't be shy; [[TemptingFate there's no such thing as a stupid question.]]\\
'''Brandon the Singer:''' ''(singing)'' What, pray tell, does the position ''paaaaaaaaay?''\\
'''A.V. Kid:''' I stand corrected. Stupid question. ''Out.''


* After Mikey tells his side of the story, he begins crying the violence of the dirt clod war:
-->'''Mikey:''' When will you people learn? WAR IS NOT A GAME!

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* After Mikey tells his side of the story, he begins crying over the violence of the dirt clod war:
-->'''Mikey:''' When will you people learn? learn!? WAR IS NOT A GAME! IT'S NOT A GAME!


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* King Bob stating his dissatisfaction towards Randall after learning that the latter hit Spinelli during a time-out:
-->'''King Bob:''' You hit Spinelli during a time-out?! She was right, you ''are'' a worm.


-->'''Pamela Segal (Spinelli's voice actress):''' Do you know at The Disney Store they have Gus and Gretchen, but they don't have f**king Spinelli? The f**k they have Gus for! [[note]] They did eventually release Spinelli dolls, as well as Mikey and Vince, but they weren't out by the time that was recorded.[[/note]]

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-->'''Pamela Segal (Spinelli's voice actress):''' Do you know at The Disney Store they have Gus and Gretchen, but Gretchen...?\\
'''Allison (Assistand director):''' Yes.\\
'''Segal:''' But
they don't have f**king Spinelli? f**kin' Spinelli.\\
'''Allison:''' Not yet.\\
'''Segal:'''
The f**k do they have Gus for! ''Gus'' for? [[note]] They did eventually release Spinelli dolls, as well as Mikey and Vince, but they weren't out by the time that was recorded.[[/note]]



--->'''Allison (Assistant director):''' That's what Miss Finster sounds like when she's having sex!

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--->'''Allison (Assistant director):''' --->'''Allison:''' That's what Miss Finster sounds like when she's having sex!



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** Before the Gang arrives, they're discussing the project, with Sam mentioning there's a lot of tree roots in a particular spot. When Mikey shows up, they try to get away by jumping in their hole and digging a tunnel, only to run into those very roots.



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** Preceding this, Gus makes a huge speech to Bob about he's not a nobody and repeatedly says his name. Confused, Bob asks what it is Gus wants. When Gus tells him he wants his name restored, Bob nonchalantly grants the request.
-->'''Gus:''' That's it?\\
'''King Bob:''' What do you want, a parade?

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*"BONKY WANT PUDDING! BONKY WANT PUDDING! BONKY WANT PUDDING!"

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[[AC:Bonky Fever]]
*When his friends find out that Mikey's devolving into a Bonky phase:
-->'''TJ''': Mikey! Your face! It's blue!
-->'''Mikey''': [[INeedToIronMyDog I fell... in a puddle... o-of blueberries!]] I gotta go clean up!
-->'''Spinelli''': A puddle of blueberries?
*Just the fact that Spinelli ''hated'' Bonky even when she was in kindergarten.


* When TJ gives everyone on the playground 10's, King Bob decides that, since the Ashleys also have him a 10, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint then he must be a 20]].

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* When TJ gives everyone on the playground 10's, King Bob decides that, since the Ashleys also have gave him a 10, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint then he must be a 20]].



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*When TJ gives everyone on the playground 10's, King Bob decides that, since the Ashleys also have him a 10, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint then he must be a 20]].



-->'''Prickly:''' Ohhhhh! Get a hampster!

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-->'''Prickly:''' Ohhhhh! Get a hampster! hamster!

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[[AC:Yes, Mikey, Santa Does Shave]]
*When Principal Prickly is told that Mikey's not going to play Santa for the Christmas show, Miss Finster suggests that Randall, who looks nothing like Mikey, should replace him.
-->'''Miss Finster''': Go "Ho-ho-ho."\\
'''Randall''': ''(not even trying)'' Hee-hee-hee!\\
''(Prickly makes an expression that reads "Seriously?")''


-->'''Ashley A.:''' So the Earth, like, revolves around the sun?
-->'''Gretchen:''' Exactly.
-->'''Ashley A.:''' Hmm, that's strange. Daddy always said the world revolved around me!

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-->'''Ashley A.:''' So the Earth, like, revolves around the sun?
-->'''Gretchen:''' Exactly.
-->'''Ashley
sun?\\
'''Gretchen:''' Exactly.\\
'''Ashley
A.:''' Hmm, that's strange. Daddy always said the world revolved around me!


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[[AC:Wild Child]]
*When Gretchen is interacting with her Peewee Pal, Emma:
-->'''Gretchen''': Repeat after me: the rain...\\
'''Emma''': The rain...\\
'''Gretchen''': ...in Spain...\\
'''Emma''': ...in Spain...\\
'''Gretchen''': ...falls mainly in the moist temperate zones southwest of the Pyrenees Mountains.\\
'''Emma''': ...blooby-blooby-bloo-bloo-bloo.
**What's even better is that if you try it on an actual kindergartener, [[TruthInTelevision you get pretty much the same reaction]].


* In an attempt to get Spinelli to show them her parents, TJ, Vince, Gretchen, and Gus make Mikey drink who knows how much water to invoke {{Potty Emergency}}. His [[{{Wide Eyes and Shrunken Irises}} buggy eyes]], as well as Vince's at one point are what sell it.

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* In an attempt to get Spinelli to show them her parents, TJ, Vince, Gretchen, and Gus make Mikey drink who knows how much water to invoke {{Potty Emergency}}. His [[{{Wide Eyes and Shrunken Irises}} buggy eyes]], as well as Vince's at one point point, are what sell it.

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-->'''Principal Prickly''': Are you kids nuts? Who ever heard of an elementary school with no balls?
-->'''Vince''': Great! Now that's ''two'' sets of missing balls!
-->'''Menlo''': Though I myself don't participate in any ball-related activities, I rather enjoy watching you kids frolic outside my window.


*** This revelation causes the Ashleys, who ''also'' got themselves these horrible haircuts to scream in horror.

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*** This revelation causes the Ashleys, who ''also'' got themselves these horrible haircuts haircuts, to scream in horror.




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**Doubly funny if you realize that Gretchen ''is'' a cartoon character.



** Anything King Bob says and does is hilarious, really, because he's a kid who takes his position as king of the playground REALLY seriously.

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** Anything King Bob says and does is hilarious, really, because he's a an eleven-year-old kid who takes his position as king of the playground REALLY seriously.



* In attempt to get Prickly to stay at Third Street instead of leaving for a Middle School, the gang tries to give Prickly a sample of the problems he will be facing all while Superintendent Skinner is there.

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* In attempt to get Prickly to stay at Third Street instead of leaving for a Middle School, the gang tries to give Prickly a ([[{{Truth in Television}} disturbingly accurate]]) sample of the problems he will be facing all while Superintendent Skinner is there.


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[[AC: All the Principal's Men]]
*All of the "[[{{Double Entendre}} ball]]" puns.
-->'''Miss Finster''': I have, uh, no comment on the removal of the balls.
-->'''Butch''': If you ask the right questions, you'll be crawling in balls in no time.

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